"The wedding was held in the delicious Tuilleries gardens. The guest list was extensive; the bride and groom spared no expense and we were all so happy to share this special day with them. Upon my arrival in the country I went straight away to the Tuilleries, and the first dinosaur I saw was my cousin Kentrosaurus. We spoke of our shared joy for the happiness of our French cousin, and the exceptional flowers of France," said Stegosaurus.
"These roses are a nice treat," observed Kentrosaurus.
"I must admit the cuisine is excellent in France," said Stegosaurus.
''I've never seen a couple who looked so happy together, and Loricatosaurus is stunning and more refined than ever after her summer spent in Switzerland at l’Institut Villa Pierrefeux Finishing School.''
"Have you noticed the care with which Lexovissaurus has taken to sharpen his shoulder spikes?!" exclaimed Kentrosaurus. "How stunning his plates are!"
"Indeed!" agreed Stegosaurus. "I cannot wait to congratulate them; they're a perfect couple. All of our best friends have turned out to wish them well! Look at the guest list!"
"My sister Quagga came with me from Nigeria." said Kentrosaurus; "The bride and groom were feeling generous and invited our friend Spinosaurus. All because he was good last Christmas and did not eat us so it couldn't cause any harm to let him celebrate the wedding. "
"How fine," said Stegosaurus; "The more the merrier. I thought I saw Nigersaurus here too?"
"Yes, he is," said Kentrosaurus. "He is helping prepare the wedding feast of Fagaceae family trees with cheese for the couple of the hour. He's working with Brachiosaurus.
Now look! There I see our friend Congresssaurus Triceratops. If you'll excuse me I think I'll go congratulate him."
"I see there's a nice herd of eleven Moa birds. I'll go say hi to them. I love bird watching," said Stegosaurus.
"I watched the Moa birds for several minutes, and then one of them looked up and saw me."
"Who is that watching us?" asked Moa.
"It is I, Stegosaurus," said Stegosaurus. "How are you doing?"
"Very fine," said Moa. "The cuisine here is indeed excellent and breathtakingly beautiful. The Moa delegation got here a little bit early and took a nice walk on the Pont Alexandre III before coming over here. It has been very nice. We have all heard rumors that Spinosaurus is here so we're kind of nervous but he is the only carnivore on the guest list so I guess there is safety in numbers."
"He's a nice enough fellow. I saw him last time I spent Christmas with my cousin Kentrosaurus." said Stegosaurus. "Still, given his nature, I agree there is safety in numbers. Do you mind if I watch you some more?"
"Oh, we don't mind at all," said Moa.
" I sat and watched the Moa birds, dreaming my impossible dream of someday turning into a bird and flying away. I know the Moas don't have any wings, but still, I dreamed. Then, my cousin Wuerhosaurus came up to say hi."
"Hey there, cousin Stegosaurus," said Wuerhosaurus.
"I'm glad to see you made it!" said Stegosaurus.
"I'm still traveling by slow boat, as is my tradition, but l was careful to leave enough time. I didn't want to miss Lexovissaurus' wedding. We missed you at the Stegosaurus Races in Kentucky this year."
"Yes, I was sorry to have missed that," confessed Stegosaurus. "I had gotten a splinter in my claw but its all better now."
"Good to hear," said Wuerhosaurus. "Have you heard that I actually won the Stegosaurus Races this year?"
"No, I had not! Congratulations!" Stegosaurus exclaimed.
"Thank you. So, I see you are watching the Moa birds."
"Why yes I am. They are very nice fellows, birds without wings."
"Yes they were born without them. You know, its a pity that paleontologists in England are seriously considering grounding Archaeopteryx.
"I agree," said Stegosaurus. "He's a nice guy and I hate to see him down."
"Say, is Stegosaurus Claus here?" Stegosaurus asked.
"He was invited I am told," remarked Wuerhosaurus. "But regretfully declined. It's the busiest time of the year for him right now."
"Then Ms. Quagga came up to us, and said hello."
"Pleased to see you," Stegosaurus, Wuerhosaurus." she said.
"This is going to be such a lovely wedding. I have just spoken to Loricatosaurus. She's anxious but looks lovely."
"Nice to see you, Ms. Quagga. I'm sure the wedding will be delightful. We're already having a wonderful time. How are things on the African plains?"
"Very pleasant. I am very much looking forward to Kwannzaa next month."
"If I may say so you always look ready to celebrate, Ms. Quagga, what with your stripes and all," said Stegosaurus.
"My attractive and festive hide is indeed something in which I take great pride," said Quagga. "If you will excuse me, I must return to assist Loricatosaurus. Have a nice day!"
"Thank you, you too!" said Wuerhosaurus.
"Ms. Quagga took her leave."
"Well now let us go talk to Nigersaurus and Brachiosaurus to see how the preparation for the wedding feast is going." said Stegosaurus.
"Very well, good cousin." rejoined Wuerhosaurus.
"It did not take us long to find Nigersaurus and Brachiosaurus, as they are sauropods. Nigersaurus greeted us heartily."
"Nice to see you both," he said, "...but I must ask you not to partake of the food until we are finished preparing the feast."
"We will be patient," Stegosaurus assured him.
"Tell them the menu so that they know what to expect," said Brachiosaurus.
"I'd be glad to." said Nigersaurus. "Tell me what you think."
Potato gratin a la Normande
Cauliflower gratin
Potato olive - ragout
Crème vichyssoise glacée
Buttersquash soup
Pear - Apple Compote with Honey
Jarlsberg, Apple & Mushroom Salad
Spiced apples & Pears on Brioche à tête
Fagaceae au gratin
Flourless Chocolate Cake
"That all sounds so delicious! I can hardly wait!" exclaimed the Stegosaurids in unison.
"Naturally, said Stegosaurus we begged Nigersaurus for a taste, but he refused, saying, 'It won't be long before dinner is served!'"
"I eventually tired of the effort, and left Wuerhosaurus, who was still trying to get a pre dinner snack. I went back out to the flowers and munched on some of those for a while.
While I was engaged in this effort, I saw Spinosaurus approaching, and thought it might be in my best interests to hide, so I did. I didn't mean to be anti social, I was just more interested in eating dinner than becoming it. "
"I heard him say, 'Stegosaurus? Where are you? I thought I saw you ...."'
"Spinosaurus looked around for a while and then said, 'More's the pity. There's nothing on the menu for carnivores.' and then he went on his way."
"I wanted to wait a little while, because I didn't want to run into a hungry Spinosaurus, so I kept under cover. This is when Lexovissaurus showed up."
"Hi, cousin! You look well ! Are you hiding from Spinosaurus too?"
Lexovissaurus dit, "Actuellement non, je ne l’ai pas vue .... Je vous cherchais parce que je suis nerveux."
Stegosaurus rejoined, "Do you have a case of cold claws? I hope not ! I'm sure...."
Lexovissaurus interrompe, "Non, non ce n’ai pas ça. Pas du tout ça. Je suis nerveux parce que je réalise que j’ai laissé Nigersaurus en charge du menu."
Stegosaurus said, "Where's the problem? I'm sure he'll do fine; I was just over in the kitchen with Wuerhosaurus and he wouldn't let us snack. I haven't tasted it yet, but I'm sure it will be great."
Lexovissaurus dit, "Nigersaurus est gentil, mais il n’est pas Français! Il.. je suis inquiet qu’il ne sera pas servir un repas Français qui convient à la réputation de mon pays! Comment est la nourriture de l’Afrique? Est-elle bonne?"
"You've been there. You know it is," Stegosaurus said.
"Ah oui, vous avez raison. Je suis très nerveux." dit Lexovissaurus.
"What's the real problem, cousin?" asked Stegosaurus. "Relax. Your shoulder spikes and tail spikes are sharp. Your plates are spiff and sexy. You look just fine."
"Non, ce n’est pas ça. Je suis assez confiant de mon apparence. Le problème est, honnêtement, je suis nerveux à propos du pasteur. Ça m’a pris du temps pour en trouvé un, que Congresssaurus Triceratops a offert n’emprunter un chapelain du Sénat Américain."
"I don't understand much about religion," said Stegosaurus. "I go to church on Palm Sunday for the food, but .... what's to be nervous about? Will you please eat some aloe plants? Everything is going to be okay. Trust me."
"Oui mon cousin tu as raison." dit Lexovissaurus.
"Have you practiced your presentation?" asked Stegosaurus.
"Ah, oui, en effet je l’ai. J’espère que Loricatosaurus l’aimera."
" Oh, I'm sure she --- there it is! That I have found why you are so nervous. Relax. Loricatosaurus will love your presentation. Now here comes the minister. Be nice and try not to stomp forthrightly on him by accident."
"Are you the groom, a Mr. Lexovissaurus? I'm the Reverend Barry C. Black. Sent on the recommendation of The Honorable Congressaurus Triceratops."
"Enchanté de vous connaitre, Révérend." dit Lexovissaurus.
"I'm sorry, my cousin in nervous," said Stegosaurus.
"Oh come now, I suppose its natural to be a little nervous on your wedding day. Try eating some aloe plants. It should help. Have you finished practicing your presentation?" asked Reverend Black.
"Oui, je l’ai, Révérend." confirme Lexovissaurus.
"Now about the rings. In my chruch, The Seventh Day Adventist, we traditionally do not exchange rings. However modern times have allowed it as an option left to the bride and groom. Do you and Loricatosaurus have.... rings?"
"Non, Révérend. On dit que les Stegosaurids ne portent pas de chapeaux, et ceci est vrai. Nous ne portons ni des chapeaux ou des dagues. Les dagues sont difficiles à mettre sur nos doigts parce que nos griffes y font obstacle."
"All right. That answers that question," said Reverend Black.
"Very well. Let us then go over the Bible verses you want. . "Now..."
"If you will excuse me, Reverend, I will leave you to consult with my cousin in private." said Stegosaurus.
"All right, Mr. Stegosaurus."
"Please be wary of my spiky tail; I do not mean to whack you with it."
"We'll keep a look out," promised Reverend Black.
"I got to watch the Moa Birds a little more as all the guests arrived and the time for the ceremony approached." said Stegosaurus.
After Lexovissaurus talked to the Reverend, he ate a quick meal of aloe plants, and then the time had arrived. Everyone was there, and even Spinosaurus was on his best behavior.
Lexovissaurus arrived and stood before the Reverend. And then there she was. Loricatosaurus in all her glory, escorted by her dear elderly father. Before she could speak, or even before the Reverend said a thing Lexovissaurus began to sing
"Tenez-moi prêt et tenez -moi vite
La formule magique que vous faites
C’est La vie en Rose
Et quand tu m’embrasse le ciel pousse un soupir
Et même si je ferme les yeux
Je voie La vie en Rose
Quand tu me pousse contre ton cœur
Je suis dans un Monde Appart
Un Monde Où les Roses Fleurissent
Et quand tu me parle les anges chantent du haut
Les mots de tous les jours semblent se changer en chansons d’amour
Donne-moi ton cœur et ton âme
Et la vie sera toujours
La vie en Rose"
"C’est adorable," dit Loricatosaurus. "Je vais tomber dans les pommes."
There was applause from all of us. Lexovissaurus looked relieved.
"This will be a new experience for me, as I have never before married two dinosaurus." remarked Reverend Black. Then he began the ceremony.
"Dearly beloved we are gathered here today before God to join in the bonds of holy matimony two Stegosauridae who have pledged their love to each other. "
"The bride and groom heartily welcome those they love, their family and friends to share in this joyous moment with them as they embark on a life together as dinosaur and wife."
"It has been requested that this verse be read from the scripture." said Reverend Black. "From the book of Ruth:
"I will not abandon or forsake you; where ever you shall go, I shall go; where you lodge I shall lodge, your people shall be my people, and your God my God."'
"And now I say onto you, Lexovissaurus and Loricatosaurus, "May you always need one another, not to fill an emptiness, but to help each other know your fullness. May you want one another, but not out of lack. May you embrace one another, but not encircle one another. May you succeed in all important ways with each other, and not fail in the little graces. May you have happiness, and may you find it in making one another happy. May you have love, and may you find it in loving one another."
"Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years, May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth."
"Such is the blessing that we are pleased to share with you both today. Lexovissaurus, do you take Loricatosaurus as your lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until extinction do you part?"
"Oui je le veux," proclame Lexovissaurus.
"And do you, Loricatosaurus, take Lexovissaurus as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until extinction do you part?"
"Oui je le veux," Loricatosaurus aussi le proclame.
"Then by the power vested in me by the hand of Providence, I now pronounce you man... er, ... dinosaur and wife." announced Reverend Black. "You may kiss the bride."
"After this point the guests all cheered and stomped forthrightly in celebration," said Stegosaurus. "We all gathered to eat the meal, which of course by now was finished with great pride by Nigersaurus and Brachiosaurus. It was served by my friend Apatosaurus.
"When we had eaten our fill, the cooks were congratulated, and the guests toasted the bride and groom. Then, as had previously been agreed, I led everyone in dancing the lindy hop most of the night. At midnight, Lexovissaurus called for attention so that he could make an announcement."
"Chers amis. Loricatosaurus et moi, nous avons aimés partager ce jour avec vous tous. La soirée a été merveilleuse. Merci à tous pour être venue. Mon épouse et moi maintenant allons partir pour notre voyage de noces."
Loricatosaurus continue, "Nous aimons l’observation des oiseaux, et nous espérons d’être capable de voir plusieurs oiseaux quand nous serons en Turquie (Turkey)!"
"De plus, j’ai toujours voulu rencontré le Caliph de l’Empire Ottoman!" a déclaré Lexovissaurus. "Je suis sûr que le voyage sera un plaisir!"
"With that, my cousin and his bride took their leave, and after I led the crowd in a few more dances, we departed in great joy." said Stegosaurus. "I'm so glad I could be a part of it."
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This Stegosaurusblog post dedicated to the memory of Phyllis M. Campbell, who was a friend of Stegosaurus.
the song "La Vie en Rose" written by Mack David ( english lyric ), and Louis Gugliemi
