"I have been disillusioned with politics since my failed Senate campaign of 2008," said Stegosaurus. "I am much more content to be a farmer scientist, without a care in the world and no ambition to govern men or dinosaurs."
"I spent last week in my garden trying out coffee plants in the modern fashion of grinding and brewing the bean. The results? I don't know .... I think I like the traditional method of just eating the plant whole; this grinding and brewing I am sure will be a short lived fad. Eventually mammals will come to their senses and realize that grinding and brewing takes more time and effort than it is really worth and it really is more economical to just eat the plant whole."
"My friend Rhedosaurus and his wife Lady Rhedosaurus however are not inclined to such peaceful endeavors. They are involved in political matters right now as I speak.
It seems they have recently arrived in New York City, where they can be found occupying Wall Street. I read all about it in the newspaper before I ate it."
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"My Lady Rhedosaurus and I felt it was time to rescue the mammals from their own folly and join the ranks of those occupying Wall Street." Observed Rhedosaurus.
"Trust us, we will have the most sincere respect for the law while occupying Wall Street. Surely no one will fear us, for our manners are so mild. Okay, perhaps I have a history of eating policemen; but my wife and I will respect policemen as long as they respect themselves. We will respect policemen so long as they respect the law they represent. After that, they are delicious. Very delicious."
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When the major media outlets reported that two dinosaurs were stomping forth to occupy Wall Street, the politicians all had something to say.
Congressman Ron Paul R - TX, a 2012 candidate for President, released the following statement: "I think its fine that Rhedosaurus and his wife are on Wall Street! They should go to the Federal Reserve!"
Nobel Prize winning economist Paul Krugman stated emphatically, "If America collapses, it will be because Rhedosaurus has not engaged in any spending."
President Barack Obama declared, "Rhedosaurus didn't get there on his own; someone else helped Rhedosaurus get to Wall Street."
Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney asserted, "I believe in the kind of America that Rhedosaurus believes in. That's the kind of America that we all want, because we believe in it."
Libertarian Presidential Candidate Gary Johnson proudly stated, "I read a book with Rhedosaurus in it once. It even had other dinosaurs in it too!"
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"I am not sure how this will turn out for Rhedosaurus," said Stegosaurus. "As for myself, I think I'll eat some more coffee plants, maybe some tomatoes. Rhedosaurus may do as he pleases, but I have come to feel that the mammals should solve their own problems, and stop looking to big solutions like myself and Rhedosaurus. Bigger isn't always better, and intervention usually gives rise to the law of unintended consequences."
"If you'll excuse me now, I think I'd like to work on planting a late season crop of cucumbers."
Thursday, August 16, 2012
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