"I am so proud today!" exclaimed Kentrosaurus. "With my sister Quagga's help, I have finally obtained an honest job! What joy it is, a blessing from the Lord, to finally be honestly and gainfully employed! No longer will I be attempting to earn money through fraudulent emails!"
"Now I am here in Johannesburg, South Africa, where Wooly Mammoth has determined to open a church: The Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival. Thanks to the intercession, advice and encouragement of my sister Quagga and the Will of the Lord, beginning on February 2nd I will officially be the church groundskeeper!"
"I must prepare a special thank you for my sister, who has helped me so much to see the light in regards to my future on earth, and to Wooly Mammoth, who assures my future in the hereafter. First let me relate to you how the interview went, I was more than a little nervous about it at first."
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"Good morning, Kentrosaurus; welcome to my Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival. Blessings of our Lord Jesus be upon you," said Wooly Mammoth.
"Thank you sir, pleased to meet you," said Kentrosaurus.
"Now you are interested in the groundskeeper position, correct?"
"Yes, sir."
"Have you any experience ? What is your previous job record?"
"Well, sir, yes, sir. I am a Stegosaurid, and therefore by nature am a herbivore. I have a great deal of experience as a plant eater, and would, I feel, make an excellent groundskeeper for your church. I excel at trimming lawns and especially hedges."
"If I plant some flowers, will you promise not to eat them?"
"Yes sir, I will do my best, sir."
"Your resume here says that you are a veteran."
"Yes, I am; my sister Quagga and I both served in the Battle of Humboldt Museum during World War II, in April, 1945. I lived on a military pension given to me after I survived the bombing of the Museum's East Wing, and then, in the 1990's I found employment to supplement that income."
"I understand the circumstances of that employment were less than honest, however."
"I have come to understand that myself through your teachings, sir. You have helped me see the light of honesty through the Word of Christ Jesus, and since I repent of my earlier choices, I pray you to give me consideration."
"It says, in the Good Book, Leviticus 19:36: "Just balances, just weights, a just ephah, and a just hin, shall you have: I am the LORD your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt." replied Wooly Mammoth; "Verily, if you have learned this lesson, it will be the better for you."
"I endeavor to prove I have learned my lesson by following the Wisdom of the Rock of Ages sir."
"Well, have you any references?"
"My sister Quagga is one of my biggest advocates; she helped me write up a resume; my cousins Stegosaurus, Lexovissaurus, and Wuerhosaurus would speak well of me, as well as my friend Nigersaurus .... even Spinosaurus said he'd put in a good word for me. Their contact information can be supplied upon request."
"Well, I have spoken to both Quagga and Nigersaurus recently, who spoke very highly of you and based upon their estimations of your talent and character, in addition to the honesty I have seen today, I believe that I will give you an opportunity here."
"Thank you, sir! Thank you! I appreciate it so much!"
"Very well! The job starts on February 2nd; if you can start then ...."
"Oh, yes, sir! Gladly!"
"Then let us go to lunch; we shall discuss benefits and pay rate over a nice meal."
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"This is the story of the beginning of my new life as an honestly employed Stegosaurid," said Kentrosaurus. What joy and happiness I feel today! Through prayer the Lord has provided all that he has promised and all praise is due to the Lord Jesus Christ."
Sunday, January 27, 2013
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