"The Stegosaurus Construction Company has come to sunny California in order to work on my latest project: an apartment complex for mammals called Stegosaurus Commons! I'm starting the new year by embarking upon a new venture: property management!" said Stegosaurus.
"Stomping here and there over the past few years I've determined that there is a great need to build quality housing for mammals run by competent and efficient property managers. Haven't you always wanted your landlord to be a Stegosaurus??"
"We'll be opening two complexes to start, one in Santa Monica, and the other in Sunnyvale. On a large tract of land extending over twenty - four acres we have built roads into and out of the community."
"We are opening in March, 2014, and are to be located at the corner of Stegosaurus Circle and Pangaea Place in Sunnyvale and in Santa Monica at the intersection of Dinosaur Drive and Mesozoic Lane. Stegosaurus Commons is conveniently located only a short stomp from popular shopping, nightspots and other conveniences! Each apartment is 930 sq. ft, kitchen & dining area, 1 bedroom, full bath with washer and drier hookup."
"If you are a seafaring mammal we will have pool access in the summer, the full gym will have a whirlpool and sauna. Also there will be a thriving garden community you can join, which will encourage you and your neighbors to grow and eat your own trees. If you happen to be a carnivore, you can grow trees for the express purpose of paying your rent, since as with my School of Dance, Stegosaurus accepts payment in trees. Perhaps you'd like to assist me in my quest to extract sunlight from cucumbers?? If you do, and have any success let me know."
"Stegosaurus is mild mannered and courteous in his dealings with tenants. Should maintenance be required at any time, the Stegosaurus Construction company will always be at hand to answer any concern, and to attend any problems that arise efficiently.
Our workers will never enter the apartment complexes unannounced or at unreasonable hours. We will strive to be as unobtrusive as possible; using common courtesy we will be sure never to enter while you are indisposed and will work with you to be as reasonable with any repairs that need to be made."
"Stegosaurus Commons serves the entire mammal community and follows EHO guidelines, but carnivores are politely asked not to eat the other tenants."
Email Stegosaurus for more information at Stegosaurusmail AT gmail DOT com.
Monday, January 13, 2014
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