"I just got back from a fun filled weekend, " said Stegosaurus. " This weekend was the 74th annual King Kong dinosaur cast reunion. Everyone was there. Even my friend Styracosaurus, whose scenes were cut. It doesn't seem like it has been over 70 years which isn't a long time as far as dinosaurs are concerned, but for humans its a lifetime. We had such fun !!

The whole thing made me very nostalgic and I will be glad today to relate to you the history of my long and storied acting career. I am sort of frustated with it, but resigned. I feel very typecast in that every role I play I play a Stegosaurus, and my dream is to one day play a romantic leading role. That would be a nice challenge. It's not a challenge to play myself all the time.

My acting career began the year I met Willis O' Brien, " Obie " in 1925. I appeared in his silent film masterpiece, The Lost World .... I only had a bit part, but if you look you can see me walking around. I didn't say anything, but then nobody did. I enjoyed it so much that I joined the SAG, ( Screen Actor's Guild ) and went in search of more film roles. I accepted a bit part in the 1933 RKO feature Flying Down To Rio with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. We had filmed this nice dance routine, ( This was about 9 or 10 years before I founded The Stegosaurus School of Dance, ) and everyone seemed to like me. Mr. Astaire complemented me on my dancing form, and Ginger Rogers even gave me a kiss. But then the director, Thornton Freeland, cut my scenes !! At the last minute !

I was so mad ! I wanted to stomp on RKO studios. Mr. Astaire begged me not to, Ginger Rogers begged me not to, and so did Mr. Freeland, but there was no way I was listening to him !

I did however, listen to a frantic Obie, who came out and begged me, he said, " Please, Stegosaurus, don't do this ! If you stomp on RKO, I'll lose my job ! " When I heard this, my heart went out to my old friend, because I knew he had been having a rough year, and I didn't want to make it worse. Obie said, " If you leave RKO standing, I'll put you into my next film. "

That next film was King Kong. If you haven't seen it please do. I'm still real proud of my performance there this many years later. I look really good in it and I've aged well.

Just so you know, it did not hurt when Mr. Cabot shot me in the head. Those obviously were blank bullets. You wouldn't know though because my acting is so good. All I have to do is lay there still. I'm good at playing extinct. I should have won an Oscar.

In 1939 I auditioned for the role of Rhett Butler in David O' Selznick's presentation of Gone With The Wind. I was so excited when I was told I'd gotten the part. I stood in front of a mirror for hours on end reciting the line, " Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn ! " I got so good at it that I returned to Metro Goldwyn with the highest of confidence. It was the big day. We were going to shoot the first scenes of the film, and I was going to meet my lovely co star Vivien Leigh !! I walked in, and Miss Leigh was instantly horrified ! I could tell it was because of me, and I asked, " What is it ? What did I do ? " Vivien ran out of the room, exclaiming, " UGH ! I'm not kissing Stegosaurus ! "

I was dumbfounded, but the shock was about to get worse. Mr. O' Selznick then came up to me and said gently, " I'm sorry, Stegosaurus, but Vivien is our star, and we must find someone she can work with. I'm sorry. We'll have to find someone else to play Rhett. "

I was deeply disappointed, but I didn't get angry with Mr. O' Selznick because they left me a nice meal of Georgia Peach Trees and Honeysuckle bushes. I also sensed their genuine regret. I'll bet you that removing me from Gone With The Wind is the hardest thing David O' Selznick had to do in his entire life. What a nice guy he was.

In 1940 I worked with Walt Disney on Fantasia. That was fun. I had to be careful not to step on Mickey Mouse. That was hard.

By 1978 my connections at the SAG helped me get a gig for my cousin Kentrosaurus, in Planet of the Dinosaurs, in which I also appeared. I acted in the PBS feature Walking With Dinosaurs. That was the first time I appeared animated by computer ! Wow ! How exciting ! I have also recently appeared in the third Jurassic Park movie.

Yes I am really very proud of my acting career, " said Stegosaurus. " Let's go to the movies ! "

It being the beginning of base - ball season, Stegosaurus reflects upon his brief career in professional sports.

" It was during the depression, " said Stegosaurus. " 1937. I was living in Chicago at the time and trying to find work just like everyone else. I was walking down West Addison Street when I saw a notice that told me about thte availability of a dream job, and I couldn't believe my eyes. Bill Veeck, the head groundskeeper at Wrigley Field was looking for an assistant ! I took the notice right away and went in to see if I could get an interview.

I did, and was hired on the spot. Mr. Veeck brought me into the ballpark and directed me to mow ( eat ) the tall grass in the outfield. " Now, " he said, " Don't eat ALL the grass, and whatever you do, don't eat the ivy I just planted on the outfield wall. " Then Mr. Veeck departed, and left me to my work.

I had been starving and thought that grass was the best I had ever eaten. Before I knew it, the entire grassy area of the ballpark was perfect for play. When I looked up, I was still hungry, and had forgotten Mr. Veeck's instructions about the ivy. As usual l let my appetite cloud my better judgement. So I began to eat the ivy.

When I was about halfway down the outfield wall, Mr. Veeck came in and he was very upset. He said,

" YOU ! I just planted that !! You.... I.... you get out of here and never come back ! "

I hung my head and tried to apologize, but Mr. Veeck wouldn't hear it, and I had to leave.

I was very sad because I loved that job, and thought I might appeal to the commissioner of baseball,Judge Kennesaw Mountain Landis, to get my job back. So I went to see him.

He granted me an audience, but in the end he rejected me. Everyone knew that Judge Landis was racist; he didn't like black people, and he certaintly didn't like Stegosaurids. Not even when he was a little kid. He told me, " Son, I don't know what Chicago was thinking, but you're a Stegosaurus, and its not seemly for Stegosaurus to play baseball. "

And he banned me. Just like that.

I am still sad about that sometimes, but I console myself by playing umpire at children's sandlot games.
Small children really love me for some reason. "

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"I got an email address of my very own the other day !" exclaimed Stegosaurus enthusiastically.

It is stegosaurusmail AT gmail DOT COM.

If you email me, I will write you back !

Now I have a blog and an email address, too !

Sending email is almost as much fun as eating ferns and rosebushes !"