My cousin Kentrosaurus has written me to tell of the exciting news of the discovery of his friend Nigersaurus ! He is also excited about the prospect of a new dinosaur museum in Africa. He'll have lots of friends to talk to !

From Brazil today, Stegosaurus Claus announced with pride :

"Today begins the Stegosaurus Claus Christmas Carol Contest !
I am looking for someone to write a Christmas Carol about me. One to last the ages. One which shall be played alongside the classic repertoire. Just as near and dear to the hearts of people of the world as "Silent Night" or "White Christmas."

I have lived for at least 140 million years, and in all that time no one, not Franz Gruber, not Placide Cappeau de Roquemaure, not César Franck, not James Pierpont, not even Irving Berlin has written a song about me. I've done the research, and there are no songs about Stegosaurus Claus ! So, please help me out, and immortalize me in song !

The top three winners will recieve as a prize a plastic stegosaurus toy which can emit " authentic dinosaur sound" !! It is really cool.

These are the rules :

1. No filk songs. I do not want "Grandma Got Run Over By A Stegosaurus" .... I want an original song. Filk songs are too easy. If you can write music, it must be original music. Again, I want to avoid something like "What Stegosaurus Is This ?" I would like an all original carol about Stegosaurus Claus.

2. Send the name of your favorite tree, your name, and your mailing address to Stegosaurusmail AT Gmail dot com. Your personal information will kept secret and never abused.

3. The winner of the contest will be announced via email on December 15th, which will give us enough time to celebrate the song in the current holiday season.

Things you will want to know about me, to help you write your carol.

I am a Stegosaurus
I live in Brazil, at a workshop where I make toys for all the good girls and boys of the world
I visit once a year on christmas eve, and leave presents under your christmas tree. As always, I apologize in advance if I eat your tree before I leave.

You can tell me apart from the other Stegosaurids of the world by the fuzzy red and white hat I wear, very much like jolly old elf you may have heard of, but I'm a lot bigger than he is, plus I have a cool spiky tail and 17 spiff yellow plates on my back AND tail.

Merry Christmas !

ps. Also, Happy Hanukkah, because just like another major Christmas figure you may have heard of, I'm Jewish."

"I returned November 1st from Colorado where I was shaking claws with my constituents there," said Stegosaurus. "Now relaxing in front of my computer, I see questions submitted for an interview. It is a good thing for a Congressional candidate to be in good stead with the press, so I will answer all the questions honestly. "

1) Which do you like better: your "17 spiff yellow plates" or your "cool spiky tail"?

This is a difficult question, because I like them both so much ! My 17 spiff yellow plates make me attractive, and also regulate my body temperature. Even though I'm spoken for I'd hate to do without them, but by the same token, my cool spiky tail protects me when I am in danger ! Also, it doubles as a plow. It's hard to be a gardener without a plow, so I don't know if I could choose between them.

2) I could use some landscaping advice. Have you ever eaten a privacy fence? What kind of trees and bushes would you recommend?

A privacy fence ? That depends. Is the privacy fence made out of trees ? I'd try not to, but my appetite for trees usually gets the better of me, as I'm sure you've noticed. I would recommend Mountain Laurel, and / or Ivy. If it were me, I'd plant Hickory Trees. Hickory Trees would taste look nice.

3) I know you like to travel, but how do you get from place-to-place?

I walk or swim. I'm a very good swimmer, but I prefer dry land; travel was so much easier when the earth only had one continent !

4) Will you teach me the Lindy Hop?

Yes, I can teach you the Lindy Hop ! Just join the Stegosaurus School of Dance location closest to you ! Oh, and look out for my cool spiky tail; I don't want you to end up like Thag Simmons.


5) What made you decide to get a blog ? Is it difficult to write about being a dinosaur?

I may have a brain the size of a walnut, but I am very progressive and forward thinking. I could tell that a lot of people were computer savvy and had blogs so I needed one too to communicate in this modern age. It is not very difficult to write. I just wake up in the morning and do what I do. Eat trees and have tons of fun !

Thank you for interviewing me ! It was fun !