" I have been in Colorado lately shaking claws for my senate campaign, and the campaign is going very well. Picking up lots of momentum. But, I am very sad today. I did something I wish I didn't do, and I am very sad." said Stegosaurus.

"I had been corresponding for the last several months with a fellow from Kansas named The Flying Spaghetti Monster. He seemed like such a nice guy. Finally this afternoon, we agreed to meet for lunch. He travelled all the way from Kansas to Colorado at great expense. We hit it off really well at first, but you know my appetite .... HE was lunch.

Well, I didn't mean to, but I ate him.... all of him... except the part of him that was made out of meat-balls, I tried them but they didn't taste good. Overall he was delicious, but rather starchy and bad for my diet. Now I am so sad because he was such a good friend to me and he's gone forever.


*sigh*

Today Stegosaurus announces the release of his widely heralded and long awaited excercise video, Exercise with Stegosaurus.

"About a month ago I realized that I had gained some weight," said Stegosaurus. "I guess I had done too well on 2007's New Years' Resolution, because I'm about one ton overweight. I'd like to lose about one ton.

To help myself and others in my situation I have recorded an exercise video, Exercise with Stegosaurus, which is especially designed for those of us with cool spiky tails.

I'm not leaving the mammals out, I want to assure you. This video will benefit everyone regardless of species. It's just that there will be a special focus on healthy cool spiky tails. "