Stegosaurus held a press conference this afternoon in Eureka Springs, Arkansas to express the profound sorrow he feels upon the extinction of his friend Daniel Schorr.

"It is with deepest solemnity I express my condolences to the Schorr family," said the bereaved plate lizard. "Mr. Schorr's coverage of my failed 2008 Colorado Senate campaign was, as with all of his work, fair and just, and his manner of reporting news as fact is in the modern age rare. The modern news climate seems so toxic to civility and truth! It is regrettable that Mr. Schorr's method of reporting is not more common as it should be, since we need objectivity more than ever."

"I can remember the day he began his career, which was not really that long ago, if you measure time as dinosaurs do.... but even to me it seems like he's always been there for us all. As if he could have reported the day that Eusthenopteron crawled out of the sea for the first time. How sad it will be never to hear his voice again! How deeply he will be missed by all his friends and all the world."