"After my final performance as Count Drosselmeyer in the Nutcracker at Radio City Music Hall, I met my college class in New York City, and as the Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency we assisted mammals still affected by Hurricane Sandy," said Stegosaurus.
"I was surprised to see Rhedosaurus and his wife Lady Rhedosaurus in town and welcomed their unexpected help," continued Stegosaurus. "Are you still assisting the mammals occupying Wall Street?"
"Yes, said Rhedosaurus. "We have a long term goal, and I've worked pretty hard to restore my reputation with the local police force. There was great success, until the day before yesterday when the policemen assaulted us without provocation and I ate six of them."
"I imagine that was a real setback," said Stegosaurus.
"It was, it was indeed. I don't really hold it against them; there's no sense in bearing a grudge. I wish I had been able to control my temper certainly, but hopefully when they see the good work I am doing with your Disaster Relief Agency, they'll forgive me for my natural tendencies," said Rhedosaurus.
"Good luck," said Stegosaurus. "It's hard to break an ingrained habit."
"Policemen sure are delicious," said Rhedosaurus.
"Following that exchange, The Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency, in conjunction with the Stegosaurus Construction Company and two Rhedosaurids in tow set off for the most distressed areas, and divided our time between Rockland and Westchester Counties. Gradually, things will return to normal, and it is a wonderful feeling to be part of such a positive effort, assisting those in need. Make sure to spend some time in your neighborhood, helping a cause that means something to you and benefits your fellow mammal. If you see a wrong, try to correct it by gathering like minded individuals united through voluntary association to solve the ills of your society. The beginning of the solution is only as far as your mirror. This may be the season of charity and giving, but you don't have to wait until December to express compassion, understanding and good will to each and all."
Monday, December 24, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
Sunday, December 9, 2012
"Hi, My Name is Stegosaurus Claus!"
"Here I am at my workshop in Brazil, preparing for my annual trip around the world delivering presents to the good little girls and boys of the world. It is a very busy time for me, of course, but this time of year there's one thing I take time to observe faithfully. Many mammals may not realize that I have been jewish for over 140 million years, so this is a very important time of season for me."
"There's a reason why I am the only Stegosaurus that wears hats; for 8 days of the season I put aside my traditional red and white hat for a yarmulke to observe Hanukkah; and although Christmas trees have certainly been declared kosher, they aren't as delicious fried, so to honor the ancient traditions, I eat fried Zucchini. It's off season, but still very delicious."
"My claws make it hard to use a Dreidel for any fun; but it hasn't dampened my enthusiasm for the holiday or the history of my religion. I light my chanukkiah very carefully and I reverently and enthusiastically speak the prayers which are proper for this miraculous time:
"Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha'olam, asher qiddeshanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu lehadliq ner shel Hanukkah."
"Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha'olam, she'asa nisim la'avoteinu ba'yamim ha'heim ba'z'man ha'ze."
"The blessings for the apples and honey:
Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam, bo're p'ri ha'etz."
"Y'hi ratzon mil'fanekha, Adonai Eloheinu velohei avoteinu, shet'hadesh aleinu shana tova um'tuka."
" For all the happiness that surrounds us, there is also immense strife in the world at this present time. I hope that you will, with me and in all sincerity wish for us and all the world joy, peace, blessings and prosperity in the upcoming year regardless of where your faith leads you. We are all brothers and sisters on this planet, and in 140 million years I have seen a lot. Don't forget to keep being good; I will know all and see all on Christmas Eve!"
"Here I am at my workshop in Brazil, preparing for my annual trip around the world delivering presents to the good little girls and boys of the world. It is a very busy time for me, of course, but this time of year there's one thing I take time to observe faithfully. Many mammals may not realize that I have been jewish for over 140 million years, so this is a very important time of season for me."
"There's a reason why I am the only Stegosaurus that wears hats; for 8 days of the season I put aside my traditional red and white hat for a yarmulke to observe Hanukkah; and although Christmas trees have certainly been declared kosher, they aren't as delicious fried, so to honor the ancient traditions, I eat fried Zucchini. It's off season, but still very delicious."
"My claws make it hard to use a Dreidel for any fun; but it hasn't dampened my enthusiasm for the holiday or the history of my religion. I light my chanukkiah very carefully and I reverently and enthusiastically speak the prayers which are proper for this miraculous time:
"Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha'olam, asher qiddeshanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu lehadliq ner shel Hanukkah."
"Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha'olam, she'asa nisim la'avoteinu ba'yamim ha'heim ba'z'man ha'ze."
"The blessings for the apples and honey:
Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam, bo're p'ri ha'etz."
"Y'hi ratzon mil'fanekha, Adonai Eloheinu velohei avoteinu, shet'hadesh aleinu shana tova um'tuka."
" For all the happiness that surrounds us, there is also immense strife in the world at this present time. I hope that you will, with me and in all sincerity wish for us and all the world joy, peace, blessings and prosperity in the upcoming year regardless of where your faith leads you. We are all brothers and sisters on this planet, and in 140 million years I have seen a lot. Don't forget to keep being good; I will know all and see all on Christmas Eve!"
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