"Yesterday I stomped forthrightly to Virginia Tech's Department of Large Animal Clinical Sciences for my annual check up," said Stegosaurus.

"Apart from a sore jaw, I have been very well, but I just needed a check up, I assure you. In addition to the usual, you know, its the season for de worming ... I also needed my teeth floated and what I really wanted was for the veterinarian to see if she could do something or anything about my weak bite."

" I spoke to my vet; I said, 'Oh, Ms. Virginia Buechner-Maxwell, I am sure you've seen the recent news about the study done on my bite. I am thoroughly upset with this revelation! Although it probably explains why my jaw is often so sore, I am really perplexed, since I was under the impression that my bite was a lot stronger than it has been for these last few million years. Is there anything you can do to improve it? Anything at all?"'

"I hate to be the one to inform you, Stegosaurus," said Buechner-Maxwell carefully. "But I have looked over all the studies and reports on the matter in the last few days and I can tell you exactly why your jaw is sore."

"You can? Can you help fix it?" asked Stegosaurus.

"Let me explain," said Buechner-Maxwell. "All the studies that I have read show me that you are a plant eater of the class which is concerned chiefly with low hanging vegetation. Sometimes you may stand on hind legs like brother horse to reach specific branches of a certain diameter, but there is nothing I can do. I shall not usurp the power of Nature itself. I cannot even if I wanted to. So my suggestion is, if you want to know what is making your jaw sore the reality is broadleaf trees. Yes, those trees which you so admire. I am sorry to be the one to bring it to you. You need to cut back on the bigger trees and keep focused and content on the low hanging branches, ferns, mosses and other foods for which your teeth are designed."

"This is profoundly disappointing," observed Stegosaurus glumly.

"In time you will find this corrects, and when it does you can treat trees as treats instead of a full diet," said Buechner-Maxwell.

I thanked the vet for her time and expertise and stomped home in a disappointed yet enlightened frame of mind. It will certainly bring a few unexpected and unwelcome changes to my diet. However, we are all given obstacles to overcome in life. I will succeed and adjust to this one in relatively no time at all. Especially with the love and support of such loyal and dedicated friends and fans."