Today Stegosaurus held a press conference to make a very important announcement.

"Thank you for coming, Ladies and Gentlemen. Very nice to see my adoring public again. Especially the small children, who love me for some reason. I appreciate your friendship and support very much. I have to make a very important statement about my future, one I thought I'd never make."

"A hard decision has been made," said Stegosaurus. "After 7 years I have left my employment as Hokie Bird Protector. Fortunately I still have my second job at the Asplundh Tree Expert Company and they have graciously agreed to increase my hours there. A lot of trees need trimming, and I'm just the dinosaur to do it!"

"I also have my School of Dance and other entrepreneurial endeavors as well. I believe in diversification and the absolute best in the American Spirit. I'm not the quintessential American dinosaur for nothing you know ... I like to think that I embody the best of the American way and tradition. A leader by example."

"I wish the Hokie Bird well; he should not take this decision personally as it had nothing to do with his character or demeanor towards me which has always been pleasant and upstanding. He's a fine individual, and when I evolve I want to be just like him. Either that or maybe a Band-tailed pigeon."

"In the interests of professionalism I will not here go into my reasoning for leaving my job as Hokie Bird Protector, but I will say I find some decisions by upper management to be very disappointing, and in many ways I no longer feel welcome at a place I once treated like home. Nonetheless I wish my former superiors well, and may the choices they have made work out well for them. I have been around for over 140 million years now, and If I can survive climate changes and meteor strikes I will survive this."


"Thank you very much for your time."