Stegosaurus looked at his reflection when he woke up in the morning and realized that he hadn't evolved lately. So he went to the river and consulted his good friend Eusthenopteron for advice.

"Eusthenopteron," said he, "I wish I knew the secret to evolving. It seems like forever since there has been any change. I sure would like to start growing feathers like some of the smaller theropods have, but though I have been patient, I haven't grown a single feather. Still nothing but scales, day in and day out. What does it take? I am almost 140 million and 10! When is it going to start happening for me? What did you do to start evolving?"

"There is no quick answer, friend Stegosaurus," said Eusthenopteron. "It takes time, and evolution runs on its own schedule. First I had to evolve legs. Then, I had to evolve lungs. Then, I had to crawl out of the water and stomp uphill! Both ways! Both ways, mind you! It wasn't easy!"

"I've been eating Austrian pines lately and it occurred to me the other day how savings is tied to the natural interest rate, but ... that won't help me grow feathers," complained the frustrated Plate Lizard. "I would give anything to have feathers, or to evolve in some way like other dinosaurs have lately."
"There are some who would consider that knowledge a form of evolution," observed Eusthenopteron sympathetically. "My suggestion to you is that you consult Science Daily for the latest on an evolution schedule. Good luck!"

Stegosaurus went home and checked Science Daily on the internet, but found no clear answers.

"I might consult the legendary Thesaurus," said Stegosaurus to himself, "But he is just as elusive as the timetable of evolving."

Then, suddenly it occurred to the pensive Plate Lizard: "I know who I can consult for advice! I will go to the Dinosaur Retirement Home and consult Nyasasaurus and Dimetrodon! They are sure to know the answers to my questions as they have been around a lot longer than I have."

So Stegosaurus stomped forthrightly to visit his elderly friends. When they came into sight he declared, "Hail, friends Nyasassaurus and Dimetrodon! How fare ye this fine, day?"

"Excellent well, Stegosaurus! The sun is shining, my retirement cave is cozy, I am well fed, and there isn't a meteor in the sky!" rejoined Dimetrodon.


"What brings you to visit us today? We are so pleased to see that you have paid us a visit. Please stay for a while," encouraged Nyasassaurus.

"I am come for advice," said Stegosaurus. "I woke up this morning frustrated because I have not evolved lately and would really like some advice from those older than me on how begin this process. I have bird hips, but no feathers. Some theropods have feathers, but not me; not yet. I have been so patient, and yet day in and day out no change.... is there anything you can advise me to do? I have already stomped to the river and spoken to Eusthenopteron; he suggested I check the internet, but I have found no clear answers there."

"My heart goes out to you, friend Stegosaurus," said Dimetrodon ... "And I so wish to help you as you have been such a benefactor to me, getting me a nice cave at the Dinosaur retirement home, and a pension with the Dinosaur and Mythical Creature screen actor's guild Local 14065. The only thing I can offer you in a way of advice, even with all my elder years, is simply patience."

"Keep your spirits up, Stegosaurus. A lot of your friends feel your pain; you are not alone but evolution has a mind of its own and works in slow and mysterious ways. No one, no matter how old they are can say with any certainty when evolving starts. Evolving can't be marked in a calendar; its progress may be incremental and not as fast and obvious as we'd all like, but I can guarantee you it is sure. We can all look forward to a glorious day when the great majority of us turn into birds and fly away."

"Perhaps," interjected Nyasasaurus, in an effort to be helpful, "You can pause to meditate under your old friend, the Ginkgo biloba, of the family Ginkgoaceae; the ancient tree may give you some insight."

"You are right; I have a lot of respect for the Ginkgo biloba, as it is older than I am. My cousin Wuerhosaurus has taught me something of this meditation. Perhaps I should try it. Peace of mind is a valuable thing, and it can be cultivated. Perhaps if I clear my mind, the answer will become obvious .... and that will be a glorious day indeed. Thank you both so much for your advice."

"No trouble at all very glad to help," said Nyasasaurus. "Come back and visit us any time!"

"Good luck!" said Dimetrodon.