Friday, December 25, 2020

Early one morning in late November after Thanksgiving a distressed Widow Ground Sloth came for a visit to the Woolly Mammoth Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival in search of advice. First she came upon Kentrosaurus, who was, of course attending his groundskeeper duties, and could tell as Widow Ground Sloth approached that she was under great distress.

"What is wrong, dear Widow Ground Sloth? May the peace of the Lord be upon you !!" exclaimed Kentrosaurus. "Oh Kentrosaurus !! Fear not, I am well, as is Junior, but I am still quite distressed! Is Woolly Mammoth here?" rejoined Widow Ground Sloth.

"Yes, he is, he has returned from Egypt, and is now in prayer in our Prayer Garden. May I assist you?"

"Oh, I cannot tell you about it; please may I speak to Woolly Mammoth?"

"If it is truly what you desire, I will go get Woolly Mammoth for you; but please, if you will consider it, am glad to listen. Please tell me what is wrong."

Seeing that Kentrosaurus was sincere, Widow Ground Sloth changed her mind. Yet still she hesitated. "Oh, all right," she said.

"You know we had a great storm on the plains just after the Holiday."

"Yes, it gave me some extra work to do."

"Well, I fear it has damaged the forest you planted for us very badly. Many great trees are down and Junior and I are very sad."

"Be not distressed, Good Widow Ground Sloth. I planted the forest for you and would be delighted to help you replant it; I am just as good at planting trees as I am at eating them; God's grace be with you and fear not; for as the Lord God says in St. John 16:33: In the Lord " you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation; but take courage, for I have overcome the World."

I knew that here I could find peace to ease my mind," said Widow Ground Sloth. "When the storm ended I sent Junior to visit with Sister Quagga on the plains. I know he'll be safe there until we can replant."

"Now let us be the paws and claws of the Lord God and make manifest that which shall bring about healing. What else can I do?" asked Kentrosaurus.

"I hate to ask, but can you help me replant it? I feel guilty as though I should have been a better steward of my gift. That I let you down somehow."

"You have not let me down," assured Kentrosaurus. "The storm is an act of God, and God has His own mysterious reasons for the results of storms. Nor should you fear any punishment for the results of the storm. We can later meditate on why and the lesson the Lord intends us to learn here by His actions, but right now, let us not delay in the repair of your forest. The Lord is always with you; even in times when He seems to challenge us with events such as this. In asking for my help, you are not creating a burden for me. It is a Christian thing to do, to help your neighbor. As we are told in the Book of Hebrews 6:10: "God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them."

"Besides," Kentrosaurus continued, "I need to break for lunch anyway. Let us go."

Kentrosaurus and Widow Ground Sloth worked for days, clearing and eating deadwood, and replanting with young trees. Then, on December 21st, they came to the remains of Widow Ground Sloth's Avocado Grove.

"All of the forest is replanted now, except for my Avocado Grove. I really miss Avocados; I can't wait til these trees grow again. They take a while to bear fruit."

"Did you plant them? I cannot recall adding them to the forest originally."

"I didn't. I thought you did," said Widow Ground Sloth.

"Perhaps they are a gift from The Lord; I did not plant them; I have no Avocado seeds available to me."

"Oh dear," said Widow Ground Sloth. "Junior will be so disappointed if we can not return the Avocados. What can we do? Where can we find Avocado seeds?"

"Fear not, for the Lord will provide to those who have faith in Him. Let us return to the Church, and we will pray and ask the Lord. Perhaps Woolly Mammoth may also have advice. I trust his wise council."

And so, Kentrosaurus and Widow Ground Sloth returned to Woolly Mammoth's Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival, where Woolly Mammoth was grazing in the yard, having finished his meditation in the prayer garden.

"Hello, Kentrosaurus, Widow Ground Sloth !! May peace be upon you both!"

"Woolly Mammoth, we have just returned from the forest I planted for Widow Ground Sloth and Junior. A great tragedy has befallen them; for the storm which visited us late last month destroyed many trees in the forest and we have worked many days to replant them."

"Are you all right Widow Ground Sloth? And your son Junior? Where is he? Is he okay?"

"Yes, he is fine," said Widow Ground Sloth. "Since the storm happened I sent him to visit Sister Quagga on the plains. Kentrosaurus and I have worked hard to replant the forest these last few weeks."

"Praise be to the Lord," said Woolly Mammoth. "I am glad to hear that you and Junior are all right. We should Praise and Thank the Lord for his many blessings and mercies."

"I do, every day, Woolly Mammoth, and I am grateful for the Lord's bright blessings and razzleberry dressing, but I am still very sad and distressed," confessed Widow Ground Sloth.

"Peace be upon you," said Woolly Mammoth. "As we are told in the Gospel of St. John, Chapter 14 verse 27: 'Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid'."

"Oh, thank you Woolly Mammoth. You are so kind," said Widow Ground Sloth. "But it was the will of God to destroy my Avocado Grove; and I am not sure how to replant it; Kentrosaurus says he did not do it; and he has no Avocado seeds to replant them again. Apparently it was there before the rest of the forest was planted, and I've managed to eat all the seeds I had before the storm. Now we have no avocados."

"Shed not a tear, for the Lord will provide." said Woolly Mammoth. "We are coming fast upon the Christmas holiday, and Spinosaurus is planning to leave soon for Brazil, where he will travel around the world with Stegosaurus Claus; let us ask Spinosaurus to bring your dilemma to the attention of Stegosaurus Claus. He is close with the Lord and spreading cheer and Christmas Spirit. and if he cannot plant you an avocado grove, I am sure he'll know someone who can."

"Thank you, Woolly Mammoth, Kentrosaurus. Your friendship is a blessing," said Widow Ground Sloth.

"I urge you to rest in our Prayer Garden for the night, and in the morning you and I will visit Spinosaurus before he leaves for Brazil. We can ask him to bring up your request for an Avocado grove to Stegosaurus Claus. Anyone Stegosaurus Claus can bring to your aid will be doing the work of the Lord God," said Woolly Mammoth.

"I will remain here at the Church, tending the grounds and guarding the property," said Kentrosaurus.

So it was that on December 22nd in the morning Widow Ground Sloth and Woolly Mammoth headed to the lake in which Spinosaurus lived in order to ask him for help.

"Ever since science decided that Spinosaurus was semi aquatic he has moved into the lake on the edge of the plains and has really thrived," observed Woolly Mammoth.

"I am glad you are coming with me," said Widow Ground Sloth. "It is never entirely safe in the presence of meat eating animals such as Spinosaurus," said Widow Ground Sloth.

"Yes, very true, " rejoined Woolly Mammoth. "But fear not; the Lord will protect those who believe. Furthermore, this is the Christmas Season, so he'll be on good behavior so that he gets to travel with Stegosaurus Claus."

They found Spinosaurus on the edge of the shore eating a great meal of fish.

"Hail, Spinosaurus!" said Woolly Mammoth. "The Grace of the Lord be with you!"

"Woolly Mammoth! Widow Ground Sloth!" Exclaimed Spinosaurus. "How nice of you to stop by my lake. This is my new home that I have enjoyed since science told me I was semi aquatic; I really enjoy it. Now I am eating a meal of fish before I leave for Brazil where I will travel with Stegosaurus Claus as he delivers presents to all the good little girls and boys of the world. Not to mention all the synapsids, megafauna and nomen dubium dinosaurs as well!"

"How kind of you to protect Stegosaurus Claus on his long, annual journey," said Widow Ground Sloth.

"I do my best," said Spinosaurus. "For all the talk of Peace on Earth and Good Will to Mammals everywhere, those same Mammals sure to like to fight and make the world a dangerous place to live in. Somebody has to protect Stegosaurus Claus so he can keep hope alive and spread Christmas Cheer."

"We have come to ask you a favor," said Woolly Mammoth. "You do, I am sure, recall the great storm we had just after Thanksgiving."

"Yes, I do, indeed," said Spinosaurus. "I decided then it was best to hide underwater until it passed; this was not a hardship on me because I have found I really like being underwater ever since science told me I could swim. What do you need?"

"This great storm was the means by which the Lord God destroyed the forest of Widow Ground Sloth and her son Junior. Widow Ground Sloth and my groundskeeper Kentrosaurus have re planted everything except for Widow Ground Sloth's favorite Avocado Grove," explained Woolly Mammoth.

"Yes, we have no seeds, for Junior and I ate all of them before the storm, not realizing the importance of them til now." interjected Widow Ground Sloth.

"We would be forever grateful if you would speak for Widow Ground Sloth and Junior to Stegosaurus Claus; perhaps the jolly Stegosaurus Stenops will be able to speak on the behalf of Widow Ground Sloth and Junior to the Lord God, and the Lord God will provide a grove of Avocado trees for Christmastime," said Woolly Mammoth.

"In the Spirit of Christmas I will help you," said Spinosaurus. "I am already bound by my promise to Stegosaurus Claus that while guarding him on his Annual Nightly Journey to deliver presents around the World that I will abstain from my natural behavior and not eat anyone or anything, especially not children. So I will not eat any Ground Sloths either; in this period, dust shall be my food; as it says in the Bible, Isaiah Chapter 11 verse 6:“The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.” and thus, will the Spinosaurus be at peace and graze with the Ground Sloth in harmony."

"I am pleased to see you know so well the Word of God," said Woolly Mammoth.

"I am touched by your kindness and Christian Charity," wept Widow Ground Sloth. "Thank you so much."

And the very next day Spinosaurus set off from South Africa for Brazil; and when he arrived at the Workshop of Stegosaurus Claus, he explained the dilemma of Widow Ground Sloth and Junior to Stegosaurus Claus.

"Yes, I can help," said Stegosaurus Claus; "This wish can be granted; for I have someone in mind who is as knowledgeable about the planting and cultivation of plants as I am in eating Christmas Trees and tree shaped cookies. In situations such as this, the Lord speaks through those who offer help to their fellow dinosaur, their fellow megafauna, their fellow mammal. When they do the work of God, they make manifest His presence on the Earth; and bring that peace and good will so often spoken of in poetic verse, and lovely song."

By Christmas Eve, the forest of the Ground Sloths was not quite as well grown as it had been before the storm, but it did provide adequate cover and was a pleasant home in which to spend the Christmas holiday. Junior Ground Sloth had long since returned from his visit to the African plains and Sister Quagga; he was with his mother, Widow Ground Sloth.

"Mama," said Junior Ground Sloth... "It sure would be nice if we had some Avocado trees to eat from for Christmas. I really like Avocados and miss having them for Christmas dinner."

"Well, we don't have any seeds, son, so we'll have to hope that we'll get a present from Stegosaurus Claus this year," said Widow Ground Sloth.

"I have been good, haven't I, Mama? Have you been good?"

Widow Ground Sloth laughed. "Yes, son, you have been good. I hope I have been good, too."

"I think you're good," Junior Ground Sloth affirmed. "I'm sorry we ate them all," he continued.

"Don't worry, son. Just rest now and go to sleep. We'll see what tomorrow brings us," said Widow Ground Sloth.

"All right, Mama. Good night," said Junior Ground Sloth.

The Ground Sloths slept, with blissful visions of Avocado Trees in their heads.

When Junior Ground Sloth woke up in the morning he went just outside the forest to see if he could find any Avocado Trees. He looked throughout the new, young forest .... and yet, he came back initially disappointed. "Mama," he said, "I looked all over the forest inside and out. Upside and Down. Yet I see no Avocado Trees. I am so sad for where is our Christmas Miracle?"

"Do not fret son, nor question the will of the Lord. He works in mysterious ways and will bring us Avocado Trees in his own time. Have faith," responded Widow Ground Sloth. "Now get ready to visit Woolly Mammoth and Kentrosaurus at the Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival. I am sure that there will be a Christmas Service."

"Okay, Mama," said Junior Ground Sloth, trying to keep his chin up.

When the Ground Sloths left their forest they met Kentrosaurus on the path headed to the church.

"Kentrosaurus! Here you are, coming in our direction when we are ourselves headed to church for the Christmas service. What brings you to us so early on this Holy Morning?" asked Widow Ground Sloth.

"I could not wait for you to arrive at church," said Kentrosaurus. "I do believe we have a Christmas surprise for you and Junior. Come with me!"

The Ground Sloths were now intrigued, but too afraid to ask if the surprise might involve Avocado Trees. The Ground Sloths went as fast as they could, but did not want to outpace Kentrosaurus, who can only run about 5 miles per hour. He's very slow.

When they arrived at Woolly Mammoth's Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival they found Woolly Mammoth in the prayer garden with a mammal they had never seen before.

"Hello, Widow Ground Sloth; Junior," said Woolly Mammoth. "It is my pleasure to introduce to you our friend Steve Beaver, who has been sent as an agent of the Lord to help replant your Avocado Trees."

"Stegosaurus Claus gave us the present we asked for!" Exclaimed Junior excitedly. "We will have Avocados again! Oh, for joy!"

Steve said, "It is a pleasure to meet you both, Widow Ground Sloth and Junior. I will be glad to help you plant your Avocado trees again. Storms happen, but we can get your Avocado grove back up and healthy in no time. If there's one thing I know, it is about how to plant Avocados. I can make anything grow if I set my mind to it!"

"Praise the Lord!" said Kentrosaurus. "What other plants interest you? I am the groundskeeper here at Church, and would be pleased to hear your advice on any new plants, flowers or vegetables."

"What I should really like to do is crossbreed two kinds of vegetables to make a new kind of vegetable. Say, a Cantaloupe and a Squash."

Kentrosaurus looked at Woolly Mammoth. Woolly Mammoth looked at Widow Ground Sloth. Widow Ground Sloth looked at her son Junior and their eyes grew large with amazement.

"He knows how to make vegetables EVOLVE!" exclaimed Kentrosaurus. "I always knew mammals were smart! Mr. Beaver sir, I am sure you know much more about plants and growing things than I ever will. Let me ask, have you ever heard of my American cousin Stegosaurus?"

"Why yes, I have," said Steve.

"I thought you might, being from America. My cousin is very famous there. Anyhow, he has been working for some time with recently retired Congresssaurus Triceratops on the fascinating scientific endeavor of extracting sunlight from cucumbers. Do you know how to extract sunlight from cucumbers?"

"I'll bet Mr. Beaver lives in a floating city!" said Junior Ground Sloth.

"Well," Steve laughed. "I hate to burst your bubble or the bubbles of Stegosaurus or Congresssaurus Triceratops, but it is quite impossible to extract sunlight from cucumbers. I know your cousin and Triceratops are reading not from a book of science, but rather from a famous book of mammal satire. The author, Johnathan Swift, was making a political statement that was also a joke of sorts. And even more impossible, I don't live in a floating city. I live on a mountain; no mammals yet can live in floating cities, because cities don't float."

"Oh dear," said Widow Ground Sloth.

"The Lord God be praised! For we have increased our knowledge today! Education is a gift from the Lord Jesus!" said Woolly Mammoth.

"Don't worry," said Steve hurriedly, seeing that the delighted attitude of most of the assembled megafauna and dinosaurs had suddenly lowered. "I may not be able to extract sunlight from cucumbers, and I don't live in a floating city, but I can most assuredly replant your Avocado grove. I am not sure if I can make vegetables "evolve", BUT, I am sure going to try. You can help me if you'd like, Kentrosaurus."

"Wow! Really? I am honored, sir. I would be glad to help you and learn from you," said Kentrosaurus. "I'm determined to succeed ~~~ I'm gonna try really hard to learn many new things about growing the things I love to eat!"

"I can teach anyone willing to learn," said Steve.

Everyone rejoiced, for the Lord delivered his gift through Stegosaurus Claus and Steve Beaver, and thus, Christmas was saved, and everyone was merry.

 
Write Stegosaurus an email ! Stegosaurusmail AT Gmail DOT COM