Saturday, April 24, 2021

In April, my College Class and I were sent on our class final to document, study and eat the trees and verdure of the land of New Zealand. I was overjoyed, for it gave me the perfect excuse to visit my old friends the Moa Birds, whom I had not had the pleasure of watching in some time. We all eagerly got on our rafts and floated forthrightly to the mighty mountain uplands, and absolutely delightful swampy lowlands of that country. The trip, as it always is, was long, but we all left from our Native State of Colorado, USA, and thus, had brought a healthy supply of our favorite Picea pungens to eat along the trip.

We each had our own raft; I did not travel with anyone on my raft but we had each other in sight the whole time. When the time came in Early May to arrive in New Zealand, we did not seek our friends The Moa Birds right away; and as usual no one came to greet us, but I was not alarmed as I have been to New Zealand before, and knew where to go to find them. Instead, as we were all tired of Picea pungens by three weeks of nothing but, my class and I eagerly stomped about until we found some familiar Cyatheaceae, which warmed my heart and reminded me of my childhood, since they had been around since my mother found me while she was eating a cabbage patch, and I was but a young plate lizard, just barely out of my shell. They are the tallest family of surviving ferns from the Jurassic ( or, possibly the Cenozoic, though I do vividly remember them being pointed out to me by my mother when I was young. ) And we all had to stand on our hind legs to reach the best leaves, and sometimes knock them down, but it was worth it. When you are almost 140 Million and 15 you will understand the attraction to nostalgia and longing for the past. When we had eaten our fill we all stomped forthrightly over the hills to the uplands, in search of The Moa Birds. We had seen some Haast's Eagles circling above as our rafts arrived on the North end of the South Island, a nature preserve and National State Park named after a famous mammal named Abel Tasman. ( 1603 ~ 1659 ). Along the way we found and heartily consumed an abundance of Alsophila colensoi, these were in the lovely swamps on the North end of the Island. Dicksoniaceae, another delicious swamp dwelling fern, which I am sure my cousin Wuerhosaurus remembers from his youth since they have been here since the late Cretaceous Period. Cibotium was itself part of this family until the mammals classified Cibotium as a family of its own in 2016. Either way they are both very delicious. I always like to look for and consume some Dicksonia fibrosa, while in New Zealand, since it only grows in this country. I have a real fondness for the fern family, and in the last few million years or so have become a real connoisseur. Likewise with the Dicksonia squarrosa, which the native mammals use as decorative plants in their gardens; they also build fences out of them from time to time.

It was then, when we had finished the Polypodiophyta and ready to move on to the Pinophyta when we encountered a grazing herd of The Moa Birds in a clearing. We all agreed, having the strong desire to evolve into birds someday, ( its a bird hip thing, maybe you wouldn't understand unless you have bird shaped hips. ) that we should sit and be quiet and simply observe them for some time. This was a very relaxing thing. I find watching birds to be one of the most calming activities one can undertake; whether we are enjoying their beauty in the moment or dreaming of the day we will evolve feathers and wings and fly away it is one of the things I enjoy most in my life. I never tell my classmates about my wishes to evolve into a bird, for they are very proud of being 6 ton, 9 foot tall and 30 foot long plate lizards with cool, spiky tails and spiff, sexy plates. They would probably laugh at me. Maybe they secretly have the same dream, but I am too shy to ask.

Finally I decided we should let the Moas know we were watching them, so I stomped ( as quietly and carefully as someone can stomp when they are 6 tons, ) and since I was successful they were not in any way alarmed. I was greeted heartily.

"Why, Stegosaurus !! How nice to see you !! How long have you been watching us ? When did you arrive?" Moa Bird asked me.

"Not too long ago, friend Moa Bird .....I am here with my entire college class. We are studying the trees of New Zealand for our final exam and it is very fortunate that I have friends here because I can learn and visit you at the same time."

"Delightful. Welcome," said Giant Moa. "Call your class out of the bushes. Might I suggest we all pass the time by digging for roots with our claws .....?"

"Oh what a great idea !! I wouldn't have thought of it but we do have that in common. I love to dig for roots with my claws. Are you sure you don't have a mammal brain, thinking of such great ideas as this?" asked Stegosaurus.

If Moa Birds could smile, ( which they can't ), Moa Bird would have smiled. Moa said, "No, Stegosaurus. Just a bird brain." I called out my class, and they all came out of the forest, some grazing right away, others already digging for roots, having heard our conversation. The arrival of the other Stegosaurids caused some circling Haast's Eagles to think twice about eating the peaceful Moa Birds. I like to watch the Haast's Eagles too, they have a majestic wingspan I'm envious of, but I don't like the fact that they are fond of eating my Moa friends. Its too bad they aren't vegetarians also.

We enjoyed the rest of our time in New Zealand; our class final also required us to consume some of the native Angiospermae, and generally I like flowers, they are one of the greatest inventions of modern times. But today in the swamps, there were a lot of insects about, and I really didn't feel like getting the insects in my eyes and under my scales. However, I needed to put up with it in order to complete my final and get a good grade. To this end we found and consumed Dodonaea viscosa, Coprosma acutifolia, ( another lovely plant native to this land ), Coprosma arborea, which also bears delicious fruit, Cordyline, and Dracophyllum. We remained until the first week in May, and when we were about to get back on our rafts headed for Colorado, the Moa Birds surprised us by asking if they'd be able to come back with us and visit America for a while. "We haven't traveled in a while, and just as you enjoy our native plants, there are some plants in America that don't grow here," said Moa Bird.

"Of course you are welcome," said Stegosaurus. So, we were able to enjoy the company of the Moas in their native land for about three weeks, and then they got on rafts and joined us in America for a while. I was so delighted. My life is so blessed to have so many good friends around me, and so many rich, full enjoyable adventures.

Saturday, February 27, 2021

Sunday, January 17, 2021

In mid January, Woolly Mammoth chose to give a sermon upon the Epistle to the Ephesians chapter 4, verse 28. It was cool, but Woolly Mammoth decided to do something different for this sermon. He decided to hold the sermon out of doors and make a large bonfire out of the deadwood from the forest that Kentrosaurus had recently replanted for Widow Ground Sloth and her son Junior. Since most of the congregation consisted of Pleistocene megafauna, he knew they would not be uncomfortable.

As Woolly Mammoth finished, the first guests to arrive were Woolly Rhino and Western Black Rhino.

"Hail, Woolly Mammoth!" said Woolly Rhino. "Why do you build a fire out of doors? Is this where the sermon will be tonight?"

"This is my plan," said Woolly Mammoth. "There is no fault with the Church; rather I do enjoy the crisp weather at present, and would like to give the sermon out of doors, if that pleases the congregation."

"I'm okay with that," said Woolly Rhino.

"I'm okay with that too, " said Western Black Rhino, "...and I don't have any fur !! The weather will be fine."

"Where is Kentrosaurus?" asked Western Black Rhino. "He's usually here by now; is he okay?"

"Kentrosaurus is fine;" said Woolly Mammoth. "We have been visited since Christmas Day by a mammal named Steve Beaver who is replanting the Avocado Grove for Widow Ground Sloth and her son Junior."

"So I suppose then, that we will not see the Ground Sloths," said Western Black Rhino.

"Or Kentrosaurus. It will be a while; he is fascinated by the teachings of our new mammal friend Steve, and probably will not be seen here for a few days. I've given him a vacation, knowing that when he returns he has new knowledge to bring to our gardens. Fear not, for when he returns he will be graced with knowledge granted to him by The Lord, and he shall make our gardens even more wonderful and pleasing to the Lord and His Son, Jesus. We will still have many come to hear my sermon today; I trust in the Lord. Today I have chosen to speak upon the Epistle to the Ephesians, Chapter 4, verse 28."

"It will seem strange without Kentrosaurus here at the moment, but he is about doing the Lord's work." said Woolly Rhino.

"Please reside within our prayer garden for your rest and relaxation while I continue to prepare," offered Woolly Mammoth. "Peace be with you both; I will let you know when the sermon begins."

The two rhinos cheerfully turned to depart for the prayer garden while others began to arrive for the sermon. But then, all of the megafauna were alarmed to suddenly see Smilodon arriving.

"This could be very bad," said Western Black Rhino. "Woolly Mammoth, what are we to do now?"

"Have faith, Western Black Rhino. We rescued Smilodon from the tar pits years ago. He repented from the murder of Giant Ground Sloth, but has rarely been seen at Church. As with Spinosaurus do not assume the worst."

"Trust is hard to come by, knowing his nature," admitted Woolly Rhino. "Proceed carefully, and I will protect you both. With my life, if I have to."

Woolly Rhino did not want Woolly Mammoth to step forward, but Mammoth stepped toward Smilodon, saying "Peace be upon you, brother Smilodon. Welcome, in the Name of the Lord God, and Please do not eat us."

"I will not eat you. I have been inspired to come hear the Word of God today. Am I late for the sermon?" asked Smilodon.

"No, you are not," said Woolly Mammoth. It is on St. Paul's Epistle to the Ephesians, with a focus on Chapter 4, verse 28." said Woolly Mammoth. "It is so nice to see you. The sermon will begin shortly."

The nervous Rhinos remained with Woolly Mammoth, still very nervous. Woolly Mammoth was not afraid, but he welcomed the protection. Then came along Spinosaurus, the first time anyone had seen him since Christmas.

"Today is just not our day to feel easy," Western Black Rhino. "Christmas has been over now for several weeks. Spinosaurus will not be on his best behavior."

"There should be an abundance of caution," agreed Woolly Mammoth. "But be patient and trust in the Lord. The Lord God never gives us more than we can handle."

"Be at peace, I mean no harm to any one on this the Lord's Day, Sunday." said Spinosaurus. "I ate well before I have come to Church and so I assure you that I have come to be inspired by the sermon today."

"I am so glad, and so glad to see you," said Woolly Mammoth. "Be welcome, Spinosaurus. The sermon will shortly begin."

The Rhinos finally felt they could go to the Prayer Garden, and Woolly Mammoth continued building his bonfire.

"Where is Sister Quagga?" asked Smilodon of Woolly Mammoth. "Does she ever come to Church?"

"Do you promise not to eat her if I tell you?" asked Woolly Mammoth.

"Of course, I will be on my best behavior, just like Spinosaurus."

"Okay then," said Woolly Mammoth. "Sister Quagga is with Widow Ground Sloth, Junior Ground Sloth, Kentrosaurus and Steve Beaver planting trees today. She rarely comes to Church, but I pray for her every day; she has a good heart and is very generous. I hope she will come to the Lord on her own time someday. The door is always open at my Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival."

"I was only concerned as I had not seen her in a while," said Smilodon.

Woolly Mammoth wasn't quite sure he believed that, but he decided not to press Smilodon on the matter; he decided a good sermon would speak to Smilodon's heart far better than a general scolding.

He said, "There, Smilodon, we now have a good bonfire going. The sermon is about to begin. Please join the congregation."

Then Woolly Mammoth went to the Prayer Garden to fetch Woolly Rhino and Western Black Rhino, and when he returned the Rhinos also joined the congregation and the sermon began.

"Brothers and sisters, in the Name of the Lord Jesus, welcome. Today our sermon is outdoors in spite of the cooler weather. I have built a bonfire to keep us warm, should our fur not be adequate. Or, if you do not have fur, like Spinosaurus," said Woolly Mammoth, noting that the usually fearsome meat eater looked rather innocent curled up by the fire, yet attentive to the soon to arrive sermon.

"Today our sermon is on St. Paul's Letter to the Ephesians," said Woolly Mammoth. "Ephesus was an ancient city in Anatolia; it became one of the early centers of Christian activity in the first three centuries of our Lord but it had been inhabited since the Neolithic age by many pre Christian peoples. Thus, It had temples both Christian and Pagan, and its Christian Church St. John mentioned in his Revelation. It was an ancient Greek city on the coast of Ionia, in present day Turkey. The author of the Epistle on which I speak a sermon today St. Paul lived there from Anno Domini 52 ~ 54, speaking sermons, and conducting missionary acts though the Epistle he wrote to the Ephesians was written in A.D. 62 or so, when St. Paul was imprisoned in Rome. It is also rumored that Mary the mother of Jesus spent her last years on earth in Ephesus; the house where she lived still stands today. The great days of Ephesus ended in the 15th century; Mammals abandoned it long ago, but still think enough of its remains to declare it a World Heritage Site as of 5 short years ago. St. Paul spoke to the Ephesians when they were a large, thriving city of Godly citizens thus, saying as I say to you now,' Grace and peace to you from our Lord, Jesus Christ! He has blessed us in the Heavenly, spiritual realms with every blessing!' As famous mammals have said, 'I give to you as I have received, for the more I give the more I have'; the Lord's love is infinite! 'The Lord chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be blameless and Holy in His sight! In his all encompassing love!' Can you not feel it in the air, brothers and sisters? Can you not feel it surrounding you as we gather in this out of doors Sky Church, how can you not feel the Love of the Lord God if you believe? Tell me, give me 'Amen!' if you can feel it!

And the small gathering declared unanimously 'Amen!'

"Now Brothers and Sisters, I have said before the Sermon started I wanted to preach on Ephesians Chapter 4, with a focus on verse 28. So we'll start at the beginning of Chapter 4. God love you."

'Amen!' said a few voices in the congregation.

"I say again, God love you, and you should rejoice in being a child of God, a student of the Lord. As St. Paul tells the Ephesians, 'I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received! Be humble and gentle, be patient in your expressions of love to one another. Make every effort to be peaceful; you are all united in this holy bond. For there is one body and one spirit, just as when you were called to one hope: one Lord, one faith; one baptism; one God, and one Father.'

The Lord God gives us grace, as the Christ in a manner of His own determination; as we are told in the Psalms, "When he ascended on high, he took many captives and gave gifts to his people."

"Christ gave himself to the prophets, to the evangelists, the rabbis, the pastors, and the teachers, that they may ready themselves for a life full of good works and service. Thus, may be body of Christ be built up in the Earth until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ! Come with me, Brothers and Sisters! Be not left behind! The Lord wants you to be part of the Heavenly Jubilee! He wants all mammals! All megafauna! All dinosaurs! All birds! All insects, yea, even insects into his Kingdom! Come one, come all, to feel the Love of Christ Jesus! 'Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming'. For we will know and be certain of the place we go, and need not fear extinction! See the light! Feel the light! This is the love of the Lord, and the way, the road to eternal salvation! As famous mammals have said, 'Let danger never turn you aside from the pursuit of honor, or the Glory of Christ Jesus! Extinction is inevitable, but the fame of Godly virtue is immortal!' Immortal, I tell you! immortal!"

"Thus, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ !! He is within !! Calling to you, waiting to be heard! So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed !!! Turn not this way, but towards the Lord Jesus! Jesus is, IS, the WAY! The WAY, Brothers and Sisters! Fear not, for He is with you in Heart and Soul! The way of greed and selfishness, of earthly depravity is not what you have been destined! You are destined for Salvation! The Lord wants you for salvation! He wants you to come HOME! 'You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness !!'

"Though it be difficult, remain on the straight and narrow path, long suffering bears fruit in the end, a joyous reunion with those we've loved, extinct before us, but we must remember, 'Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.' Live the life of service to your fellow traveler on life's journey, from the very beginning to the very end, charity is your moral responsibility, not a purpose of the civil authority; but rather you should give of your own that which you have. And I implore you, so as you speak, so shall you be judged, so speak not unkindly; speak only words of love and hope, if you can not speak kindly, say it not, or think it either!

Returning to the scripture, again St. Paul says, 'Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.' Go in peace, my Brothers and Sisters! This is the message St. Paul gave the Ephesians, and the one I give to you and urge you most heartily to heed today, so many dire events in the World today, wars and rumors of wars, meteors, comets, floods, earthquakes, there being no shortage of calamity; but you can be at peace within by following the Lord and being not in disagreement with your fellow, be he megafauna, dinosaur, mammal, or other being. Go in love, Go in Peace. God love you."

Friday, December 25, 2020

Early one morning in late November after Thanksgiving a distressed Widow Ground Sloth came for a visit to the Woolly Mammoth Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival in search of advice. First she came upon Kentrosaurus, who was, of course attending his groundskeeper duties, and could tell as Widow Ground Sloth approached that she was under great distress.

"What is wrong, dear Widow Ground Sloth? May the peace of the Lord be upon you !!" exclaimed Kentrosaurus. "Oh Kentrosaurus !! Fear not, I am well, as is Junior, but I am still quite distressed! Is Woolly Mammoth here?" rejoined Widow Ground Sloth.

"Yes, he is, he has returned from Egypt, and is now in prayer in our Prayer Garden. May I assist you?"

"Oh, I cannot tell you about it; please may I speak to Woolly Mammoth?"

"If it is truly what you desire, I will go get Woolly Mammoth for you; but please, if you will consider it, am glad to listen. Please tell me what is wrong."

Seeing that Kentrosaurus was sincere, Widow Ground Sloth changed her mind. Yet still she hesitated. "Oh, all right," she said.

"You know we had a great storm on the plains just after the Holiday."

"Yes, it gave me some extra work to do."

"Well, I fear it has damaged the forest you planted for us very badly. Many great trees are down and Junior and I are very sad."

"Be not distressed, Good Widow Ground Sloth. I planted the forest for you and would be delighted to help you replant it; I am just as good at planting trees as I am at eating them; God's grace be with you and fear not; for as the Lord God says in St. John 16:33: In the Lord " you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation; but take courage, for I have overcome the World."

I knew that here I could find peace to ease my mind," said Widow Ground Sloth. "When the storm ended I sent Junior to visit with Sister Quagga on the plains. I know he'll be safe there until we can replant."

"Now let us be the paws and claws of the Lord God and make manifest that which shall bring about healing. What else can I do?" asked Kentrosaurus.

"I hate to ask, but can you help me replant it? I feel guilty as though I should have been a better steward of my gift. That I let you down somehow."

"You have not let me down," assured Kentrosaurus. "The storm is an act of God, and God has His own mysterious reasons for the results of storms. Nor should you fear any punishment for the results of the storm. We can later meditate on why and the lesson the Lord intends us to learn here by His actions, but right now, let us not delay in the repair of your forest. The Lord is always with you; even in times when He seems to challenge us with events such as this. In asking for my help, you are not creating a burden for me. It is a Christian thing to do, to help your neighbor. As we are told in the Book of Hebrews 6:10: "God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them."

"Besides," Kentrosaurus continued, "I need to break for lunch anyway. Let us go."

Kentrosaurus and Widow Ground Sloth worked for days, clearing and eating deadwood, and replanting with young trees. Then, on December 21st, they came to the remains of Widow Ground Sloth's Avocado Grove.

"All of the forest is replanted now, except for my Avocado Grove. I really miss Avocados; I can't wait til these trees grow again. They take a while to bear fruit."

"Did you plant them? I cannot recall adding them to the forest originally."

"I didn't. I thought you did," said Widow Ground Sloth.

"Perhaps they are a gift from The Lord; I did not plant them; I have no Avocado seeds available to me."

"Oh dear," said Widow Ground Sloth. "Junior will be so disappointed if we can not return the Avocados. What can we do? Where can we find Avocado seeds?"

"Fear not, for the Lord will provide to those who have faith in Him. Let us return to the Church, and we will pray and ask the Lord. Perhaps Woolly Mammoth may also have advice. I trust his wise council."

And so, Kentrosaurus and Widow Ground Sloth returned to Woolly Mammoth's Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival, where Woolly Mammoth was grazing in the yard, having finished his meditation in the prayer garden.

"Hello, Kentrosaurus, Widow Ground Sloth !! May peace be upon you both!"

"Woolly Mammoth, we have just returned from the forest I planted for Widow Ground Sloth and Junior. A great tragedy has befallen them; for the storm which visited us late last month destroyed many trees in the forest and we have worked many days to replant them."

"Are you all right Widow Ground Sloth? And your son Junior? Where is he? Is he okay?"

"Yes, he is fine," said Widow Ground Sloth. "Since the storm happened I sent him to visit Sister Quagga on the plains. Kentrosaurus and I have worked hard to replant the forest these last few weeks."

"Praise be to the Lord," said Woolly Mammoth. "I am glad to hear that you and Junior are all right. We should Praise and Thank the Lord for his many blessings and mercies."

"I do, every day, Woolly Mammoth, and I am grateful for the Lord's bright blessings and razzleberry dressing, but I am still very sad and distressed," confessed Widow Ground Sloth.

"Peace be upon you," said Woolly Mammoth. "As we are told in the Gospel of St. John, Chapter 14 verse 27: 'Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid'."

"Oh, thank you Woolly Mammoth. You are so kind," said Widow Ground Sloth. "But it was the will of God to destroy my Avocado Grove; and I am not sure how to replant it; Kentrosaurus says he did not do it; and he has no Avocado seeds to replant them again. Apparently it was there before the rest of the forest was planted, and I've managed to eat all the seeds I had before the storm. Now we have no avocados."

"Shed not a tear, for the Lord will provide." said Woolly Mammoth. "We are coming fast upon the Christmas holiday, and Spinosaurus is planning to leave soon for Brazil, where he will travel around the world with Stegosaurus Claus; let us ask Spinosaurus to bring your dilemma to the attention of Stegosaurus Claus. He is close with the Lord and spreading cheer and Christmas Spirit. and if he cannot plant you an avocado grove, I am sure he'll know someone who can."

"Thank you, Woolly Mammoth, Kentrosaurus. Your friendship is a blessing," said Widow Ground Sloth.

"I urge you to rest in our Prayer Garden for the night, and in the morning you and I will visit Spinosaurus before he leaves for Brazil. We can ask him to bring up your request for an Avocado grove to Stegosaurus Claus. Anyone Stegosaurus Claus can bring to your aid will be doing the work of the Lord God," said Woolly Mammoth.

"I will remain here at the Church, tending the grounds and guarding the property," said Kentrosaurus.

So it was that on December 22nd in the morning Widow Ground Sloth and Woolly Mammoth headed to the lake in which Spinosaurus lived in order to ask him for help.

"Ever since science decided that Spinosaurus was semi aquatic he has moved into the lake on the edge of the plains and has really thrived," observed Woolly Mammoth.

"I am glad you are coming with me," said Widow Ground Sloth. "It is never entirely safe in the presence of meat eating animals such as Spinosaurus," said Widow Ground Sloth.

"Yes, very true, " rejoined Woolly Mammoth. "But fear not; the Lord will protect those who believe. Furthermore, this is the Christmas Season, so he'll be on good behavior so that he gets to travel with Stegosaurus Claus."

They found Spinosaurus on the edge of the shore eating a great meal of fish.

"Hail, Spinosaurus!" said Woolly Mammoth. "The Grace of the Lord be with you!"

"Woolly Mammoth! Widow Ground Sloth!" Exclaimed Spinosaurus. "How nice of you to stop by my lake. This is my new home that I have enjoyed since science told me I was semi aquatic; I really enjoy it. Now I am eating a meal of fish before I leave for Brazil where I will travel with Stegosaurus Claus as he delivers presents to all the good little girls and boys of the world. Not to mention all the synapsids, megafauna and nomen dubium dinosaurs as well!"

"How kind of you to protect Stegosaurus Claus on his long, annual journey," said Widow Ground Sloth.

"I do my best," said Spinosaurus. "For all the talk of Peace on Earth and Good Will to Mammals everywhere, those same Mammals sure to like to fight and make the world a dangerous place to live in. Somebody has to protect Stegosaurus Claus so he can keep hope alive and spread Christmas Cheer."

"We have come to ask you a favor," said Woolly Mammoth. "You do, I am sure, recall the great storm we had just after Thanksgiving."

"Yes, I do, indeed," said Spinosaurus. "I decided then it was best to hide underwater until it passed; this was not a hardship on me because I have found I really like being underwater ever since science told me I could swim. What do you need?"

"This great storm was the means by which the Lord God destroyed the forest of Widow Ground Sloth and her son Junior. Widow Ground Sloth and my groundskeeper Kentrosaurus have re planted everything except for Widow Ground Sloth's favorite Avocado Grove," explained Woolly Mammoth.

"Yes, we have no seeds, for Junior and I ate all of them before the storm, not realizing the importance of them til now." interjected Widow Ground Sloth.

"We would be forever grateful if you would speak for Widow Ground Sloth and Junior to Stegosaurus Claus; perhaps the jolly Stegosaurus Stenops will be able to speak on the behalf of Widow Ground Sloth and Junior to the Lord God, and the Lord God will provide a grove of Avocado trees for Christmastime," said Woolly Mammoth.

"In the Spirit of Christmas I will help you," said Spinosaurus. "I am already bound by my promise to Stegosaurus Claus that while guarding him on his Annual Nightly Journey to deliver presents around the World that I will abstain from my natural behavior and not eat anyone or anything, especially not children. So I will not eat any Ground Sloths either; in this period, dust shall be my food; as it says in the Bible, Isaiah Chapter 11 verse 6:“The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.” and thus, will the Spinosaurus be at peace and graze with the Ground Sloth in harmony."

"I am pleased to see you know so well the Word of God," said Woolly Mammoth.

"I am touched by your kindness and Christian Charity," wept Widow Ground Sloth. "Thank you so much."

And the very next day Spinosaurus set off from South Africa for Brazil; and when he arrived at the Workshop of Stegosaurus Claus, he explained the dilemma of Widow Ground Sloth and Junior to Stegosaurus Claus.

"Yes, I can help," said Stegosaurus Claus; "This wish can be granted; for I have someone in mind who is as knowledgeable about the planting and cultivation of plants as I am in eating Christmas Trees and tree shaped cookies. In situations such as this, the Lord speaks through those who offer help to their fellow dinosaur, their fellow megafauna, their fellow mammal. When they do the work of God, they make manifest His presence on the Earth; and bring that peace and good will so often spoken of in poetic verse, and lovely song."

By Christmas Eve, the forest of the Ground Sloths was not quite as well grown as it had been before the storm, but it did provide adequate cover and was a pleasant home in which to spend the Christmas holiday. Junior Ground Sloth had long since returned from his visit to the African plains and Sister Quagga; he was with his mother, Widow Ground Sloth.

"Mama," said Junior Ground Sloth... "It sure would be nice if we had some Avocado trees to eat from for Christmas. I really like Avocados and miss having them for Christmas dinner."

"Well, we don't have any seeds, son, so we'll have to hope that we'll get a present from Stegosaurus Claus this year," said Widow Ground Sloth.

"I have been good, haven't I, Mama? Have you been good?"

Widow Ground Sloth laughed. "Yes, son, you have been good. I hope I have been good, too."

"I think you're good," Junior Ground Sloth affirmed. "I'm sorry we ate them all," he continued.

"Don't worry, son. Just rest now and go to sleep. We'll see what tomorrow brings us," said Widow Ground Sloth.

"All right, Mama. Good night," said Junior Ground Sloth.

The Ground Sloths slept, with blissful visions of Avocado Trees in their heads.

When Junior Ground Sloth woke up in the morning he went just outside the forest to see if he could find any Avocado Trees. He looked throughout the new, young forest .... and yet, he came back initially disappointed. "Mama," he said, "I looked all over the forest inside and out. Upside and Down. Yet I see no Avocado Trees. I am so sad for where is our Christmas Miracle?"

"Do not fret son, nor question the will of the Lord. He works in mysterious ways and will bring us Avocado Trees in his own time. Have faith," responded Widow Ground Sloth. "Now get ready to visit Woolly Mammoth and Kentrosaurus at the Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival. I am sure that there will be a Christmas Service."

"Okay, Mama," said Junior Ground Sloth, trying to keep his chin up.

When the Ground Sloths left their forest they met Kentrosaurus on the path headed to the church.

"Kentrosaurus! Here you are, coming in our direction when we are ourselves headed to church for the Christmas service. What brings you to us so early on this Holy Morning?" asked Widow Ground Sloth.

"I could not wait for you to arrive at church," said Kentrosaurus. "I do believe we have a Christmas surprise for you and Junior. Come with me!"

The Ground Sloths were now intrigued, but too afraid to ask if the surprise might involve Avocado Trees. The Ground Sloths went as fast as they could, but did not want to outpace Kentrosaurus, who can only run about 5 miles per hour. He's very slow.

When they arrived at Woolly Mammoth's Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival they found Woolly Mammoth in the prayer garden with a mammal they had never seen before.

"Hello, Widow Ground Sloth; Junior," said Woolly Mammoth. "It is my pleasure to introduce to you our friend Steve Beaver, who has been sent as an agent of the Lord to help replant your Avocado Trees."

"Stegosaurus Claus gave us the present we asked for!" Exclaimed Junior excitedly. "We will have Avocados again! Oh, for joy!"

Steve said, "It is a pleasure to meet you both, Widow Ground Sloth and Junior. I will be glad to help you plant your Avocado trees again. Storms happen, but we can get your Avocado grove back up and healthy in no time. If there's one thing I know, it is about how to plant Avocados. I can make anything grow if I set my mind to it!"

"Praise the Lord!" said Kentrosaurus. "What other plants interest you? I am the groundskeeper here at Church, and would be pleased to hear your advice on any new plants, flowers or vegetables."

"What I should really like to do is crossbreed two kinds of vegetables to make a new kind of vegetable. Say, a Cantaloupe and a Squash."

Kentrosaurus looked at Woolly Mammoth. Woolly Mammoth looked at Widow Ground Sloth. Widow Ground Sloth looked at her son Junior and their eyes grew large with amazement.

"He knows how to make vegetables EVOLVE!" exclaimed Kentrosaurus. "I always knew mammals were smart! Mr. Beaver sir, I am sure you know much more about plants and growing things than I ever will. Let me ask, have you ever heard of my American cousin Stegosaurus?"

"Why yes, I have," said Steve.

"I thought you might, being from America. My cousin is very famous there. Anyhow, he has been working for some time with recently retired Congresssaurus Triceratops on the fascinating scientific endeavor of extracting sunlight from cucumbers. Do you know how to extract sunlight from cucumbers?"

"I'll bet Mr. Beaver lives in a floating city!" said Junior Ground Sloth.

"Well," Steve laughed. "I hate to burst your bubble or the bubbles of Stegosaurus or Congresssaurus Triceratops, but it is quite impossible to extract sunlight from cucumbers. I know your cousin and Triceratops are reading not from a book of science, but rather from a famous book of mammal satire. The author, Johnathan Swift, was making a political statement that was also a joke of sorts. And even more impossible, I don't live in a floating city. I live on a mountain; no mammals yet can live in floating cities, because cities don't float."

"Oh dear," said Widow Ground Sloth.

"The Lord God be praised! For we have increased our knowledge today! Education is a gift from the Lord Jesus!" said Woolly Mammoth.

"Don't worry," said Steve hurriedly, seeing that the delighted attitude of most of the assembled megafauna and dinosaurs had suddenly lowered. "I may not be able to extract sunlight from cucumbers, and I don't live in a floating city, but I can most assuredly replant your Avocado grove. I am not sure if I can make vegetables "evolve", BUT, I am sure going to try. You can help me if you'd like, Kentrosaurus."

"Wow! Really? I am honored, sir. I would be glad to help you and learn from you," said Kentrosaurus. "I'm determined to succeed ~~~ I'm gonna try really hard to learn many new things about growing the things I love to eat!"

"I can teach anyone willing to learn," said Steve.

Everyone rejoiced, for the Lord delivered his gift through Stegosaurus Claus and Steve Beaver, and thus, Christmas was saved, and everyone was merry.

Thursday, October 15, 2020

 
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