Doctor Stegosaurus returned to his office Cave in Boulder Colorado on October 1st.

He had opened his practice in June, but as emergencies required the services of the Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency. He had not been at home long enough to see or treat any patients. Now he had a line of needy patients lined up outside the entrance of his Office cave, but this did not alarm him; being a socialist, Stegosaurus saw long lines as a normal feature of healthcare.

“My first patients in line were Widow Ground Sloth and her son Junior,” said Doctor Stegosaurus.

“What is wrong, Widow Ground Sloth, that you and Junior should come all the way from South Africa to see me?”

“Oh, Doctor Stegosaurus,” said a very worried Widow Ground Sloth, “Junior and I are very hale and hearty. We are just fine, but the problem is many of the trees in our grove! They are developing black spots on them! I wonder, is it safe for the tree? Will the trees so afflicted live or die? Are their leaves and bark safe to eat? I’m very worried about Junior; he’s a growing sloth, and I worry about the negative impact on his long term health! Please help!”

“Do you have a sample for me to inspect?” asked Doctor Stegosaurus.

“I do,” confirmed Widow Ground Sloth, a very distressed mother. “I didn’t eat any of it on the way here; I figured it would be useful for you to make an accurate diagnosis.”

“Good move,” affirmed Doctor Stegosaurus, who inspected the leaf intently upon its being presented by Widow Ground Sloth.

“Very interesting,” said Doctor Stegosaurus. “it appears that the trees of your grove suffer from a case of fungi, which may be a form of parasitic alga such as (Cephaleuros virescens).”

“Oh dear,” said Widow Ground Sloth. “This sounds fatal to our beloved grove. Are the leaves safe to eat, Doctor Stegosaurus?”

“Has it been cool and rainy in South Africa lately?” inquired Doctor Stegosaurus.

“Yes, it has,” confirmed Widow Ground Sloth.

“This is what has caused the fungus to grow and multiply so quickly. It is unsightly, but will not harm you or your son Junior. It will not kill any tree in your grove.”

“Thank you Doctor Stegosaurus. I have had a long journey to get here, but this news and peace of mind is worth the long journey.”

“Fear not and be well,” said Doctor Stegosaurus, as Widow Ground Sloth and Junior departed happily back to South Africa.

Then, Doctor Stegosaurus called in his second patient, and it was Iguanodon, who had also come a long way, from Maidstone, England.

“Iguanodon!” exclaimed Doctor Stegosaurus. “Another visitor from a distant shore! You have traveled far! What malady brings you to the shores of America?”

“Ah, friend Doctor Stegosaurus, I am doing very well, and my family has been blessed by the grace of God with good health as well. The problem is with our hardwood trees within my wife’s garden.”

“What is the matter with them? Did you bring leaves for me to inspect?” asked Doctor Stegosaurus.

“Yes, I fear we will shortly have a less ornamental garden in our backyard if this disease is allowed to progress. Here they are, leaves of the Birch trees.

Iguanodon presented his leaves to Doctor Stegosaurus for inspection, and Doctor Stegosaurus peered at them closely and nibbled at one of the leaves after sniffing it.

“Hmmmm….” said Doctor Stegosaurus. “It appears your backyard’s trees are suffering from a fungal disease common to hardwoods known as Anthracnose. This disease primarily affects the leaves, but can also from time to time affect the tree’s stems. The damage may be moderate or severe, but in any case there is little we can do to save this delicious duo of trees in or near your yard. Brown spots and blotches are common and are also known by the name leaf blight.

While this is usually only a cosmetic issue, twig dieback may occur, and if allowed to progress in an extreme state, may be fatal to your trees. The remedy here may be eating of the leaves that have fallen, pruning back the dead twigs, and water your trees regularly. This disease is not fatal to you and yours; send my regards to your lovely wife, please, but fear not for her yourself or your children. Your family will not become extinct in eating of these leaves.”

"I am relieved, Doctor Stegosaurus. Thank you and God bless you.”

As Iguanodon left happily to return to his home in England, Doctor Stegosaurus awaited his next patient, which he found, much to his surprise, was his brother Allosaurus !!!

“Brother Allosaurus! What brings you here today?” asked Doctor Stegosaurus. “Please be kind and don’t eat me today!”

“Ah, Doctor Stegosaurus, for some reason you always think I am hungry and going to eat you but I am completely innocent and just stomped by to see how you are and congratulate you on your recent graduation and opening of your medical practice. I am innocent and a mere, humble, meat eating theropod just trying to get by in the world.” rejoined Allosaurus.

“In that case, I accept your compliment, but you have to understand your history and our longstanding sibling rivalry. It is hard to believe you when you have in your possession such sharp claws and teeth as you do. Remember, I may be a herbivore with only 64 teeth designed for roots and low hanging vegetation, “ but I do have a cool, spiky tail and I will not hesitate to use it if I feel I need to defend myself.”

“I heard how you became a millionaire, Doctor Stegosaurus. I am proud of you and your mother. Have you seen her or our father Professor Marsh lately?” asked Allosaurus.

“I have not seen my mother in some time. I know she loves me, though she left me a 44.6 million dollar trust fund, by being an early investor in broadleaf trees; our mutual father, Professor O.C. Marsh I have not seen at all since March 18th, 1899; I am not sure what he has been up to lately, but he must be very busy discovering dinosaurs and Ice Age megafauna.”

“Indeed,” said Allosaurus.

“You aren’t going to try and convince me that you have a problem with a grove of trees or ornamental shrubbery, are you? Because, being a skeptic after more than 140 Million years experience with you, I must say I do not believe you in all honesty.” said Doctor Stegosaurus.

“What can I do to convince you I am merely stopping by to wish you well?” asked Allosaurus.

“Eat less red meat,” suggested Doctor Stegosaurus.

“Awwwww, gee, but I don’t have the teeth for being a vegetarian. I’m innocent, I tell you. I won’t even have a mid life crisis and think about becoming a plant eater. I like meat too well.” rejoined Allosaurus.

“Don’t tell me your favorite meat is….Stegosaurus ribs.”

“How did you guess??”

“You are impossible!” exclaimed Doctor Stegosaurus. “Please, let me get back to my patients, Allosaurus it has been nice to see you and thank you for your good wishes.”

“Well, if I can’t have Stegosaurus ribs, can I at least have a Stegosaurus hip?”

“No, you may not! I’m proud of my ornithischian hips, they prove that someday I’m going to evolve into a Red Tailed Hawk, so I am sure to need all the bird-hips I can get. Sorry.”

“Well, okay, then. I guess I’ll go see if Brontosaurus will let me eat him for a while. Let me part by saying I am sure you won’t be a Red Tailed Hawk when you evolve you are more likely to be a band tailed pigeon.”

“I will take the high road and not be angry with you if you leave now and let me attend to my patients. If you see Brontosaurus, tell him I said hi.” said Doctor Stegosaurus

Thus, Allosaurus departed, and Doctor Stegosaurus spent the rest of the day treating the tree diseases brought to his attention.