Saturday, November 8, 2008

A Congresssaurus Stegosaurus Press Confrence November 4th, 2008.

9:09pm, MST, Denver, Colorado


"Thank you my friends and supporters. My name is Stegosaurus, and I am coming before you to night to concede regretfully that I will not be your representative in Congress as the 111th session opens. My worthy opponet, Mr. Ken Salazar has handily won the day, and I congratulate him, his campaign and his supporters. I urge you to support him and consider him a friend as he works for all of us who love the state of Colorado.

Right now my future involves retiring to my garden and becoming a farmer scientist," said Stegosaurus. " I have no ambition to govern men. It is a painful and thankless office.

I would sincerely hope that the issues I have raised in this campaign wil not be forgotten. If you have something you believe in, get involved with your representative. Get to know Mr. Salazar and make it happen. Giant leaps start with one step.

I should like to thank all of my supporters, those who contributed to my campaign financially and otherwise. Celebrity endorsements from Stephen Spielberg, Jane Fonda, Whoopi Goldberg, Barbara Striesand, and the late Issac Hayes.

I would like to thank Denny Klein, the inventor of HHO Technology, which will be the future of transportation in America, saving our environment as well as man and dinosaur alike.

I would like to thank my campaign manager Mary Katherine, who kept my finances straight and made sure I didn't eat everything in my campaign chest.

I want to thank my brother Triceratops, and my friend Hadrosaurus of the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus. Someday we may still work together.

Last of all, I want to thank you, my friends and supporters, grown ups and children who believed in my vision for a better Colorado.

To anyone else I've forgotten, I appreciate you too.. I hope I haven't but you know I have a brain the size of a walnut so please forgive me.

Thank you and good night. "

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

"I went to the polling place to cast my vote for Eugene Victor Debs," said Stegosaurus.

"I was surprised when I got there and discovered that he wasn't on the ballot! It must be a slight against working man and working dinosaur alike!!

I was so upset I was going to stomp on Fishburn Elementary forthrightly, but then the suddenly distressed Election Official pointed out some ferns. I love eating ferns."

Monday, October 27, 2008

National Public Radio Weekend Edition Sunday 10/26/2008

Andrea Seabrook: It's time again to talk with NPR's senior news analyst Daniel Schorr, and catch up on the week's events. Good morning, Dan.

Daniel Schorr: Good morning Andrea.

AS: Election Day is almost here, and everyone's talking about the Presidential Election. But let us turn to the Colorado Senate race. Stegosaurus' popularity has been at an all time high, and he seemed unstoppable until recently. Some damaging information has come to light. Can you elaborate?

DS: Yes, well it is unfortunate, but it seems that a pornographic movie from more than a year ago has been released starring Stegosaurus, and this seems to have severely hurt his standing with his party and the public. In August, 2007, on a visit to California, Stegosaurus visited with his friend Hugh Hefner, and it seems the Playboy magnate bankrolled this venture.

AS: Yes it seems to have hurt his standing with the ever important voting bloc known as the soccer moms. Let's listen to this clip of a Mrs. Stephanie Marie Ellis, soccer mom of Boulder.

Stephanie Marie Ellis: "Oh, its just terrible, terrible. I had put so much trust in Stegosaurus! He cares about alternative fuel sources and the environment, he loves children, and has a workable solution for the economic challenges facing Colorado and the entire Nation today. I was willing to look past his tree consumption, even.

But, but I can't tolerate the idea of him participating in such filth as a pornographic movie!

How immoral! We should expect more of our leaders. He should have known better ! What about the children who look up to him? What example does that send, I ask you? What !?!

Hugh Hefner bankrolled the film, and he's lived well, like a king with six unmarried women! Unmarried! Oh the humanity!

No wonder Sid and Marty Krofft didn't want Stegosaurus on Land of the Lost! They must have known! And to think I pitied that prehistoric pervert! I'm so ashamed!!"

AS: Wow, she seems upset, Dan. Do you think there is anything Stegosaurus can do to salvage his campaign?

DS: It's going to be tough for Stegosaurus to overcome this. His advisors will have to be on alert damage control. In the next few days we'll have to see if Stegosaurus, like Bill Clinton, is a comeback kid, or a fallen idol, the next Gary Hart.

AS: Who once represented Colorado.

DS: Yes, he did.

When the film came to light, Stegosaurus' polling numbers took quite a tumble. While he's fallen sharply in the polls, his opponent Ken Salazar has been wise in not even mentioning Stegosaurus in his speeches and sticking to his own platform. He may return to the senate after all. We shall have to wait and see.

AS: Yes, it will be interesting. Thank you, Dan. That's Daniel Schorr, senior news analyst, who joins us every week with his insight into the days' news.

DS: Thank you, Andrea.


Saturday, October 11, 2008

On Sunday, October 5th, Stegosaurus held a press confrence to express his opinion of the recent economic situation and particularly of the recent bailout bill passed by the US Congress. Let's listen in...


Stegosaurus: Thank you. Next question, please. Mr. Mattioni, WVTF News.

Rick Mattioni: Yes, Mr. Stegosaurus. It is known that your opponet in the 2008 senate race, Mr. Ken Salazar backed, both times the recent bailout bill that assisted banking interests, but you opposed it. Why?

Stegosaurus: If I were in the Senate, I would not have voted for this bill, and I will tell you why. It seemed very simple to me. Not only was an unconstitutional bill rammed through Congress with very little debate, it was also something which will only be at best a temporary fix.... and will in the long term make things worse.

The bill was unconstitutional because no where in our laws is it allowed to use taxpayer dollars to aid special interest groups.

For example, The top CEOs of Lehman Brothers were making 173 million dollars a year. Now they have made mistakes by overspeculation and malinvestment, and should take responsibility for their incompetence regarding pecuniary matters. It is unreasonable and unconcionable that the taxpayer of America should be responsible for getting wreckless multimillionaires out of holes that they dug themselves into without thinking of the consequences.

Furthermore, the portion of the bill regarding taxes was written by the Senate and then returned to the House. This is unconstitutional, as all tax appopriations must begin in the House of Representatives, according to the law.

Plus the bailout will, as I have stated earlier, if it works at all only bring temporary confidence to American and foreign investors.

It is another effort in a long line of similar efforts by the shady characters at the Federal Reserve Bank to prop up a failing fiat currency which is only going to be devalued further in the longrun, increasing debt to our foreign investors.

The Federal Reserve continues engage in legal counterfeit, printing money out of nothing, increasing the supply of dollars. This, as should be obvious to understand, devalues what already was available, because so much is on the market. In time, it is a very real possibility that our foreign investors will stop taking our dollars, and then we'll be in trouble, because we owe in the trillions.

This bailout bill puts the burden of debt on the children of America and future generations yet unborn. It lowers the standard of living and increases the gap between rich and poor. It puts further strain on a middle class already crushed under the debt of other poor decisions made by the banking interests of the Country, taxing them not through tax laws written into the books, but through the silent tax which is a result of this increase in fiat currency: Hyperinflation. Hyperinflation is, as we know, what raises the cost of goods and services.

Now, what do I mean by fiat currency? fiat currency is something which is declared valuable by Government edict, but not backed by a commodity such as gold or silver. The US dollar became a fiat currency under the Franklin D. Roosevelt administration ( first term ), after May of 1933. The value of money was still set by gold, ( under the Bretton Woods Agreements, after World War II, ) but it was illegal for Americans to convert their dollars into gold.
The US dollar was removed entirely off the gold standard by Richard M. Nixon on August 15th, 1971, as a result of financial difficulties caused by the War in Vietnam. Since 1971, the US dollar has not been backed by anything of value, only the word of the Government.

Now, why do I think this bill is an ineffectual, bad piece of legislation? Because we have tried this before, and it does not work. We have historical precedence.

Let us look at the situation in the 1920's prior to the Great Depression, and the poor decisions that led to that difficult time in American History. The same mistakes were made then, which are being made now.

For example, the economic situation today, the fluctuations in the market seem to be very similar. We have recently experienced situations akin to June and December of 1928, and March and May of 1929.

As in those years, the President, and pro Federalist editorial writers try and reassure us that the fundamental bedrock of our economy will weather the storm; "It takes time for these things to work.", they say. But what did not work then will not magically work now. Why people can't see this is a mystery to me. Fed Chairman Bernanke on September 22nd told members of the Financial Services Committee that he agreed price fixing did not work in the 1930's. He said, "I actually agree with you that price fixing did not work in the 1930's," yet three days later he and Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, ( as well as the President ), are off touting the bailout bill as something that needs to be done.

Here is some advice from somebody with a brain the size of a walnut: Memo to the Administration AND Congress. Stop acting like someone with a brain the size of a walnut.

If you do not let the market adjust you will throw a one, two year recession into an extended DEPRESSION... just like we did in the 1930's. Propping up prices and cutting rates is only making things worse. Prices NEED to drop, and the artificial bubble will deflate eventually. Delaying the inevitable will only make things harder and weaken our currency, which is already in a precarious state, and has been for some time.

I recommend a return to commodity backed currency, in gold, or silver, or trees.

My further recommendation is to enact regulation and oversight over the Federal Reserve Bank and also the President's Working Group on Financial Markets. These people are the root cause of our problems today.

I can tell that we are in for some tough times ahead. I don't know about you, but I am going to start saving my ferns and rosebushes for the future, not to mention more trees.

Thank you, for taking the time to attend my press conference today

FACTS OF INTEREST:

Courtesy of Matthew Collins and the Center for Responsive Politics:

LIST OF LOBBYISTS WHO BOUGHT THE 2008 PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES:


Top 10 Corporate PAC Contributors:

Obama:

Goldman Sachs $739,521

UBS AG $419,550

Lehman Brothers $391,774

Citigroup Inc $492,548

Morgan Stanley $341,380

Latham & Watkins $328,879

Google Inc $487,355

JPMorgan Chase & Co $475,112

Sidley Austin LLP $370,916

Skadden, Arps et al $360,409

McCain:

Merrill Lynch $349,170

Citigroup Inc $287,801

Morgan Stanley $249,377

Wachovia Corp $147,456

Goldman Sachs $220,045

Lehman Brothers $115,707

Bear Stearns $108,000

JPMorgan Chase & Co $206,392

Bank of America $133,975

Credit Suisse Group $175,503



Sources: Rep. Dr. Ron Paul ( R) 14th TX : Speech "The End of Dollar Hegemony" February 15, 2006


The Center For Responsive Politics

Only Yesterday by Frederick Lewis Allen ( 1st printing Perennial Classics, 2000 )

Since Yesterday by Frederick Lewis Allen ( 7th printing Bantam Matrix, 1965 )

Other Useful links may be found here: The Bailout Reader: Ludwig Von Mises Institute

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

In a press conference held Sunday, October 5th, Congresssaurus Stegosaurus announced his endorsement of Eugene Victor Debs for President in 2008.

"I understand President Wilson let him out of prison recently," said Stegosaurus.
"I feel that the odds of Mr. Debs being successful this year are very, very good. Debs is my man, because he cares about the little guy, and I care about the little guy too.

Don't think that because I am big, I don't think about the plight of all the hard working mammals in America. I do. That is why I support Eugene Victor Debs for President in 2008. "

Monday, September 22, 2008

National Public Radio Weekend Edition Sunday 9/21/2008

Andrea Seabrook: We are here to discuss the week's political events with NPR's senior News Analyst Daniel Schorr. Good morning, Dan.

Daniel Schorr: Good morning, Andrea.

AS: Okay let's talk about the Stegosaurus phenomenon in Colorado. What seemed like an odd third party style fluke months ago has really taken off, and Senator Salazar is really challenged at this point. What do you think has made Stegosaurus so successful?

DS: Yes, Andrea this is a surprise. Stegosaurus has overcome the ridicule of the people who didn't take his canadacy seriously at the start. He's jumped the hurdles of some early mistakes in his campaign to capture a great cross section of Colorado's voting public. It's a particularly important voting bloc too, which is the fabled Soccer Moms. It might be the Soccer Moms' children having an influence, most likely. Maybe the novelty of a senator with a cool, spiky tail and spiff, sexy plates.

AS: Wow, and months ago we thought all he'd get was one per cent or less, and Ken Salazar would breeze easily back into the Senate. What did Stegosaurus do to endear himself to the Soccer Moms of Colorado?

DS: Well, I think it was when he decided to start saving trees instead of eating them. Stegosaurus went on a diet recently and has only eaten low fat pteridophytes for months, and a lot of trees have been saved. This repairs his reputation wth the base of his party, the Greens, and connects with the environmentally aware, socially concious Soccer Moms of Colorado. I understand Stegosaurus has lost half a ton. It's impressive.

AS: I remember we thought he was doomed early on in his campaign when he was photographed undertaking a clear cutting operation. What can Ken Salazar do? He seems to have an exemplary environmental record, and seniority. There has to be something else to the popularity of Stegosaurus. What can Salazar do ? Anything at this point?

DS: It is to Salazar's credit that he hasn't turned to mudslinging. We're seeing less negative attacks than we used to in the campaign for President this cycle, so perhaps politics has finally learned something: Negative attacks don't work like they used to, and being blatantly negative could be the nail in Salazar's political career if he's not careful. What he can do, I think, is Salazar can stick to his record, and point out his strengths... sticking to his own message could expose Stegosaurus' inexperience without being completely negative.

That is the path I think Salazar needs to take.

AS: Yet it could be that Stegosaurus will pull off a surprise and win. He could be the next Jesse Ventura.

DS: Yes, he might, Andrea. We'll have to wait and see.

AS: It will be quite interesting to see how it plays out in Colorado. Thanks, Dan. Always good to talk to you.

DS: Thank you, Andrea.

AS:NPR's senior news analyst, Daniel Schorr, with insight on the week's political events.
 
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