"I am so proud today!" exclaimed Kentrosaurus. "With my sister Quagga's help, I have finally obtained an honest job! What joy it is, a blessing from the Lord, to finally be honestly and gainfully employed! No longer will I be attempting to earn money through fraudulent emails!"

"Now I am here in Johannesburg, South Africa, where Wooly Mammoth has determined to open a church: The Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival. Thanks to the intercession, advice and encouragement of my sister Quagga and the Will of the Lord, beginning on February 2nd I will officially be the church groundskeeper!"

"I must prepare a special thank you for my sister, who has helped me so much to see the light in regards to my future on earth, and to Wooly Mammoth, who assures my future in the hereafter. First let me relate to you how the interview went, I was more than a little nervous about it at first."

*************************************************

"Good morning, Kentrosaurus; welcome to my Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival. Blessings of our Lord Jesus be upon you," said Wooly Mammoth.

"Thank you sir, pleased to meet you," said Kentrosaurus.

"Now you are interested in the groundskeeper position, correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"Have you any experience ? What is your previous job record?"

"Well, sir, yes, sir. I am a Stegosaurid, and therefore by nature am a herbivore. I have a great deal of experience as a plant eater, and would, I feel, make an excellent groundskeeper for your church. I excel at trimming lawns and especially hedges."

"If I plant some flowers, will you promise not to eat them?"

"Yes sir, I will do my best, sir."

"Your resume here says that you are a veteran."

"Yes, I am; my sister Quagga and I both served in the Battle of Humboldt Museum during World War II, in April, 1945. I lived on a military pension given to me after I survived the bombing of the Museum's East Wing, and then, in the 1990's I found employment to supplement that income."

"I understand the circumstances of that employment were less than honest, however."

"I have come to understand that myself through your teachings, sir. You have helped me see the light of honesty through the Word of Christ Jesus, and since I repent of my earlier choices, I pray you to give me consideration."

"It says, in the Good Book, Leviticus 19:36: "Just balances, just weights, a just ephah, and a just hin, shall you have: I am the LORD your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt." replied Wooly Mammoth; "Verily, if you have learned this lesson, it will be the better for you."

"I endeavor to prove I have learned my lesson by following the Wisdom of the Rock of Ages sir."

"Well, have you any references?"

"My sister Quagga is one of my biggest advocates; she helped me write up a resume; my cousins Stegosaurus, Lexovissaurus, and Wuerhosaurus would speak well of me, as well as my friend Nigersaurus .... even Spinosaurus said he'd put in a good word for me. Their contact information can be supplied upon request."

"Well, I have spoken to both Quagga and Nigersaurus recently, who spoke very highly of you and based upon their estimations of your talent and character, in addition to the honesty I have seen today, I believe that I will give you an opportunity here."

"Thank you, sir! Thank you! I appreciate it so much!"

"Very well! The job starts on February 2nd; if you can start then ...."

"Oh, yes, sir! Gladly!"

"Then let us go to lunch; we shall discuss benefits and pay rate over a nice meal."

*********************************************

"This is the story of the beginning of my new life as an honestly employed Stegosaurid," said Kentrosaurus. What joy and happiness I feel today! Through prayer the Lord has provided all that he has promised and all praise is due to the Lord Jesus Christ."

"After my final performance as Count Drosselmeyer in the Nutcracker at Radio City Music Hall, I met my college class in New York City, and as the Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency we assisted mammals still affected by Hurricane Sandy," said Stegosaurus.

"I was surprised to see Rhedosaurus and his wife Lady Rhedosaurus in town and welcomed their unexpected help," continued Stegosaurus. "Are you still assisting the mammals occupying Wall Street?"

"Yes, said Rhedosaurus. "We have a long term goal, and I've worked pretty hard to restore my reputation with the local police force. There was great success, until the day before yesterday when the policemen assaulted us without provocation and I ate six of them."

"I imagine that was a real setback," said Stegosaurus.

"It was, it was indeed. I don't really hold it against them; there's no sense in bearing a grudge. I wish I had been able to control my temper certainly, but hopefully when they see the good work I am doing with your Disaster Relief Agency, they'll forgive me for my natural tendencies," said Rhedosaurus.

"Good luck," said Stegosaurus. "It's hard to break an ingrained habit."

"Policemen sure are delicious," said Rhedosaurus.

"Following that exchange, The Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency, in conjunction with the Stegosaurus Construction Company and two Rhedosaurids in tow set off for the most distressed areas, and divided our time between Rockland and Westchester Counties. Gradually, things will return to normal, and it is a wonderful feeling to be part of such a positive effort, assisting those in need. Make sure to spend some time in your neighborhood, helping a cause that means something to you and benefits your fellow mammal. If you see a wrong, try to correct it by gathering like minded individuals united through voluntary association to solve the ills of your society. The beginning of the solution is only as far as your mirror. This may be the season of charity and giving, but you don't have to wait until December to express compassion, understanding and good will to each and all."

"Spectacular, Super Colossal Lights And Display Contest ! Lights and display contest!?! Oh no! My own Stegosaurus gone commercial !! I can't stand it!

Oh, well. This commercial Stegosaurus is not going to ruin MY Christmas !"

Surfers Find Giant Fossilized Backbones

The Weak Bite of the Stegosaurus

Stegosaurus Sarah for Sale

All I Want For Christmas Is A Real Stegosaurus

The oldest known Dinosaur: Nyasasaurus parringtoni

Apparently Sauropods REALLY liked their spinach

"Hi, My Name is Stegosaurus Claus!"

"Here I am at my workshop in Brazil, preparing for my annual trip around the world delivering presents to the good little girls and boys of the world. It is a very busy time for me, of course, but this time of year there's one thing I take time to observe faithfully. Many mammals may not realize that I have been jewish for over 140 million years, so this is a very important time of season for me."

"There's a reason why I am the only Stegosaurus that wears hats; for 8 days of the season I put aside my traditional red and white hat for a yarmulke to observe Hanukkah; and although Christmas trees have certainly been declared kosher, they aren't as delicious fried, so to honor the ancient traditions, I eat fried Zucchini. It's off season, but still very delicious."

"My claws make it hard to use a Dreidel for any fun; but it hasn't dampened my enthusiasm for the holiday or the history of my religion. I light my chanukkiah very carefully and I reverently and enthusiastically speak the prayers which are proper for this miraculous time:

"Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha'olam, asher qiddeshanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu lehadliq ner shel Hanukkah."


"Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha'olam, she'asa nisim la'avoteinu ba'yamim ha'heim ba'z'man ha'ze."

"The blessings for the apples and honey:

Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam, bo're p'ri ha'etz."


"Y'hi ratzon mil'fanekha, Adonai Eloheinu velohei avoteinu, shet'hadesh aleinu shana tova um'tuka."

" For all the happiness that surrounds us, there is also immense strife in the world at this present time. I hope that you will, with me and in all sincerity wish for us and all the world joy, peace, blessings and prosperity in the upcoming year regardless of where your faith leads you. We are all brothers and sisters on this planet, and in 140 million years I have seen a lot. Don't forget to keep being good; I will know all and see all on Christmas Eve!"

"I'm back in college again, and this semester my class and I have all stomped forthrightly to Montana, said Stegosaurus. "Our assignment is to identify and consume Tsuga mertensiana, which have been absolutely delicious, let me tell you. It must be the mountain air that contributes to their exceptional, full bodied flavor. Delicious!"

"Well now once class was over for the day I decided I should take a short stomp to visit my friend Ankylosaurus, who lives nearby. I found him at home, dining on a nice meal of Juniperus horizontalis."

"Stegosaurus!" he exclaimed. How nice to see you! I have been well...exceedingly so. What brings you to Montana?"

"My class is in town; you know I'm in college working on a Doctorate in tree disease. I just thought I'd stomp by and see how you have been," replied Stegosaurus.

"I have a new venture," explained the loquacious fuzed lizard. I have started a support group for partially discovered dinosaurs. Now I ... well, haven't I been rude? Please come and join my meal; there's plenty to go around. Plenty of Juniperus horizontalis. " They'll really hit the spot; Yes, that's it."

"Thank you," said Stegosaurus. "Now you were talking about starting a support group?"

"Yes, I have," confirmed Ankylosaurus. "For partially discovered Dinosaurus. It all started back when Brachiosaurus' body temperature was determined by science. I realized that not only was he fully discovered, his body temperature was also known! It made me feel bad, being only partially discovered myself, and I started to get jealous. I regretted that, and wanted to redirect this energy in a positive way, so I am starting this support group for partially discovered dinosaurs."

"That is a wonderful idea!" Exclaimed Stegosaurus. "You know my cousin in France, Lexovissaurus and his wife are both only partially discovered. Maybe they'd be interested in joining your group."

"I made an inquiry to Loricatosaurus," said Ankylosaurus. "After apologizing for her limited skill in English, she told me, 'Thank you very much for the .... how do you say it, .... ah, invitation and consideration. However, my husband is too proud and refuses to admit he should go ... though I admit he could, ah ... the word, what is the word... benefit .... from your group. For myself, I am now college educated and not so concerned about being partially found. I am confident that if I keep ....er, ... digging around I will find me eventually. I've got to .. ah... be here somewhere.'

"Last week we were joined by Trachodon and most notably Captialsaurus of the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus," continued Ankylosaurus. "Capitalsaurus came at the urging of Congresssaurus Triceratops; Congressaurus Triceratops told him: 'PLEASE go. You need to go. You're boring everyone to extinction with your long winded speeches on the House Floor about the glorious day when you will be completely discovered!'

"I'm surprised Congresssaurus Triceratops said that," remarked Stegosaurus.

"Well," rejoined Ankylosaurus, "Capitalsaurus was hurt at first, even though Congressaurus Triceratops meant no ill, and the admonishment was gentle. He told me that he thought, 'Congresssaurus Triceratops doesn't know .... doesn't have a clue how it really feels to be identified only by part of a single vertebra!'

"Regardless of his initial feelings, Capitalsaurus came to my group meeting and later remarked he felt better for having shown up."

"That's really nice," said Stegosaurus. "You say Trachodon was there also?"

"Yes, yes he was," said Ankylosaurus. "What a nice fellow he is. I had a conversation with him personally after the therapy session. I will relate it to you."

********************

"I'm glad you could make it to the meeting,Trachodon. I hope you've made some friends," said Ankylosaurus.

"Yes, I have met some nice dinosaurs that are also only partially discovered, and I feel a lot better after only one session," said Trachodon. "Sometimes life can really get you down when you're only identified by a handful of teeth."

"I know, I know," said Ankylosaurus. "I started this group because I myself am only partially discovered and I wanted to not feel jealous of my fellow dinosaurs who are fully discovered. My notion was to redirect any jealous feelings into a productive and positive direction. This group will be helpful to other partially discovered dinosaurs like yourself. Sure, only your teeth are discovered, but at least you're still known to be in the Hadrosaur family."

"That's right!" said Trachodon. "It could always be worse. I could be a mammal."

"That's it, that's the way to look at it!" said Ankylosaurus. "Keep your chin up!"

"I sure will, if the scientists ever find it!" declared Trachodon proudly.

*****************

"This is definitely a wonderful public service," said Stegosaurus.

"Thank you. At the meeting next week we're being joined by Spinosaurus, who remembers very well the years when he himself was only partially discovered. His speech will be titled, "Fear not, it does get better."

"That sounds really encouraging," said Steogosaurus. "You are doing such a wonderful thing and I commend you for it. I myself have met Spinosaurus at my cousin's wedding; he's a meat eater! I hope he does not eat you and your group entire!"

"Me too," said Ankylosaurus. "It's a gamble, but one I am willing to take. I also can't help but observe that Stegosaurids are not the only ones with really cool defensive tail armaments. If there's any trouble I am confident we'll be able to put a quick end to it. Say, thank you friend Stegosaurus for stopping by. It has been great to see you."

"Thank you; you too," said Stegosaurus. "Keep up the great work!"

Keep Calm And Love Stegosaurus

Feathered Dinosaurs Drive Creationists Crazy

Dracula Dinosaur had bristles and fangs: Pegomastax africanus

Meet Xenoceratops: Canada's Newest Horned Dinosaur

Stegosaurus Could Be The Latest Casualty of the Bone Wars

North American Dinosaurs Had Feathers Too