On May 19th, 2025, Stegosaurus held a press conference and made an exciting announcemennt.

"Thank you for coming out today, wonderful mammals of Boulder, Colorado. I am so pleased that you are here. I have an important announcement to make. Today, May 16th, 2025, after starting a journey that began in 2007, ( or maybe it was last week ), I have graduated from the University of Colorado School of Medicine with a Doctorate specializing in Tree Diseases. I will be hanging up a shingle and opening a Doctor's office here in my adopted city, with a satellite office in the town of my discovery, Morrison, Colorado on Monday, June 23rd, and I want you all to know I care and will practice Universal Socialist Healthcare, so you will get treated at the low cost of "free", though you may barter trees, ferns and other low hanging vegitation if you are so inclined.

There is a high probability that you will be diagnoed with a tree disease, but I want to reiterate that my services are absolutely free. I can afford it; I am worth 44.6 million dollars already so I don't need a Doctor's salary, and want to give back to my community. I will pay off my student loans because I don't believe in socializing things that are my responsibility. Be advised that the same caveat that comes with my School of Dance applies; bring your own legal representation in case an impromptu session of my School of Dance takes place. Thank you so much for your suppport, I look forward to serving you and being your neighborhood Doctor for Millions of Years."

Stegosaurus was seen shopping at the Kmart Garden Center, located at 5051 Federal Blvd, Northwest, in Denver, Colorado. He returned to his cave in a state of great excitement.

“I have discovered great programs for my computer,” said Stegosaurus, “I cannot wait to install them. First I found a great program called PlantPal. With a name like that, how could there be anything more useful to a Stegosaurus ? “

“I love gardening, as you know, and I also think the internet is the greatest thing since broad leaf trees. This database application uses Spring framework and a temperature sensor to measure parameters of soil. Such a versatile program must have been written with a Stegosaurus in mind, There are so many ways I can track various aspects of the plants I haven't yet eaten with this!”

“I brought back a nice pygmy date palm (Phoenix roebelenii ) to live in my greenhouse; the high altitudes and harsh winters in this area since the invention of snow make them hard to grow otherwise; but with PlantPal I will be able to monitor its health and keep it alive. Plants like this don't grow outdoors like they used to like the day when my mother found me while eating a cabbage patch, but it will make a wonderful cave plant.”

I was going to add a nice cycadales, one of my old favorites since I was just out of my shell, but I got hungry stomping home to Boulder, and ate it. It was delicious.”

Also, today, May 6th, 2025, I shall enjoy using Skype as my primary method of chat communication on line. It will be a great upgrade from my use of the AOL Instant Messenger I have been using since December 16th, 2017. The Blue Light Special is definitely on!”

After a wonderful afternoon meal with Brother Horse ( Windsurfer ) I bid my kin farewell and as I stomped away reflected how wonderful it is that we can still be friends in spite of a difference of opinion. I wish the mammals would use their larger brains and learn this.

I decided to stomp up and over to Cave Hill Cemetery and Arboretum in Louisville, Kentucky. I did not want to eat the arboretum there as I had eaten the one in Lexington right well, and being a conservationist ( albeit a hungry one ) I didn't want to eat all the trees in all the arboretums in the commonwealth. I had come to this particular Arboretum to see another tree I won't eat out of respect: The Ginko Biloba, which is a tree older than I am. After the meteor came, the once plentiful Ginko was confined to the land of China, being extinct everywhere else. It was this way through Woolly Mammoth's age, the last great Ice Age. And there they remained in the orient, until the year 1840 or so ( maybe it was last week, not sure ), when the famous mammal Senator Henry Clay heard of their existence there and convinced it was, either Diplomats he knew in China or visiting missionaries to bring him seeds back to Lexington. This they did, and when Senator Clay received them, Ginkos from this stock were planted at his home Ashland in Lexington, and in other nearby areas. The largest of these still living resides here at the Cave Hill Cemetery and Arboretum.

After paying my respects to such an elder tree, I became hungry and stomped into the woods in search of dinner. I planned to return home to Colorado soon, and wanted to be sure I ate a good meal before I stomped up the road; It is a long road to travel from Kentucky to Colorado !!

I climbed up into the hills well beyond the city of the mammals to seek the best trees. First I found a really nice grove Sassafras albidum; very delicious !! If you haven't tried it before I can highly recommend seeking them out. They are native in this land and very abundant. It has such distinctive flavor; the mammals used to use it to flavor Root Beer, up until last week, or maybe, it was 1960. Not sure on the date but they sure are delicious. They also sometimes taste as if they have a cinnamon flavoring to them.

Next, I climbed up higher into the woods, and then came down the other side into some rich, moist bottomlands; and there it was that I discovered much to my delight a nice collection of Fagus grandifolia, These trees are most abundant in the Commonwealth of Kentucky and her neighboring States. You have to go into the forests to find them because they do not live well in the urban areas where the mammals live. Small mammals, though, wildlife gets along with them well, Fagus grandifolia provides them homes, and nuts to eat. Their leaves are a deep green in spring and summer; and later in fall and winter a bronze colour and tan. Oftentimes, the leaves will remain with the tree all winter; that is, unless I come along and eat them, which I ( hint ! ) did !

Thirdly I wandered through this bucolic Appalachian paradise in search of the fruit of the Asimina triloba , and let me tell you, this tree, ever since I discovered it has provided some of the most delicious fruit you can find in the wild areas of the world. I am still surprised at how wonderful it is; the Asimina triloba provides after gourds, the second largest fruit native to America, right after gourds. The fruit it provides tastes very similar to bananas. They are more likely to produce such fruit when they are standing alone as individual trees; much less likely when grouped together in a thicket. They like shady lowlands, and in addition to their fruit bear the most delicious burgundy flowers.

Lastly, before I began my return trip to my native Colorado, I went in search of the lovely Gymnocladus dioicus, sadly endangered, so I didn't eat it, just like the Ginko. So, I just stomp by from time to time to pay my respects. These wonderful trees thrive in the northeastern Bluegrass areas, where they like rich, moist soils, usually found by ravines so it is good fortune that I came down to the ravine to drink; Its problems reside in the fact that there has been excessive harvesting of their seed pods ( roast them first, mammal friends, otherwise you shall experience that they are quite toxic and become very sick or extinct. ) and they are also prized because of their beautiful flowers. Fortunately these trees can thrive in residential areas so the mammals like to plant them, they are somewhat tolerant of urban pollution, drought, and its opposite, occasional flooding.

I hope if you are just stomping around aimlessly someday that you consider a visit to the most wonderful State of Kentucky; I always dine well here. Well, at least everywhere except Lexington's Old City Cemetary;as some of those markers are quite old. Not as old as myself assuredly; but still, for this area of the world, they take care of the situations around them. This is definitely won by someone who is a caring conservationist. Cheers !! Thus, properly fortified, I began to make my way home to Colorado. Leaving in late August, I was resting in my home cave by late September, or basking in the late Summer sun, shining upon the land of my birth.

“My college class and I were sent to the Commonwealth of Kentucky for our finals, so on May 1st after Oblitiosaurus returned to his native Spain, I stomped forthrightly South,” said Stegosaurus. Usually the finals have us investigating various species of trees, as you will recall, but this one was all about bodies of water so we found ourselves at the reservoir of the Cumberland river in South Central Kentucky. This Is the largest body of water in the State, it is 50,000 acres (20,000 hectares). It made me wish I had brought my raft. I wasn't expecting to need my raft.

What we had to do in this body of water was seek shale underneath from the Ordovician period, the second period of the Paleozoic, an age before my time 443.8 million years ago.

It was tricky, swishing through water with my cool, spiky tail. Trying to break up the rocks below to expose the shale we were looking for; I am not, as you know, a seafaring animal. It was exhausting, and frustrating because my claws were getting stuck in the mud. Then, to my surprise I heard something say to me, “Hey, watch out there!” I looked around, and didn't see anyone around me, other than my classmates, and this was not the voice of a Stegosaurus, obviously. I began swishing my cool, spiky tail again, and then a second time I heard another voice say to me,

“Will you please stop ? Be careful, now !”

This time I stuck my head under the water to see if I could see anything, and I did ! I saw two small creatures at my feet so I lifted my head out of the water, ( again, not a seafaring animal ), and scooped them up with my claws.

“We are Trilobites of a sort,” said one.

“Hello, I'm a Stegosaurus. Are you of the sort that can live on land, or are you fully seafaring?” asked Stegosaurus.

" I am a Trilobite; we were alive between 520 and 252 million years ago. The age of my species was 485.4 Million years ago. In all this time, it was not until last September that the mammal scientists used a high resolution 3D scan of one of my fossils to determine my diet.

Generally, I eat thin-walled shells, bits of echinoderms, that family of creatures which includes sea” urchins and starfish. Scientists have speculated that we Trilobites may have had dual digestive tracts, which is a really nice feature to have; I'll get back to you if they can determine anything noteworthy.” “Well, that is very interesting,” agreed Stegosaurus. “Now second Trilobite, what can you tell me about yourself?”

“Well my story is quite fascinating. I was born on Mars, but grew up on the South side of Chicago.”

“What?” asked Stegosaurus, surprised by the answer of the second Trilobite.

“Oh, don't listen to him,” said the first Trilobite. “He's fake.”

“I look like I'm made of flesh, but its really just fancy paper mache.”

“You're just a fancy rock. Not even a fossil.”

“I may be a rock, but I identify as a fossil.”

“Whatever you are, I'll be your friend,” said Stegosaurus.

“Tell me what you think of Chicago; I lived there briefly during America's Great Depression in the early 1930s.”

“Oh, I was born in Youngstown, Ohio, but I come from the Stars. My spirit name is Stardust.”

{ sings } “We are stardust, we are golden / we are million year old carbon / and we've got to get ourselves back to the garden.”

[ sings ] “Sometimes I wonder why I spend / my lonely nights dreaming of a song..”

Frustrated, First Trilobite exclaimed, “Will you please stop?!?”

Second Trilobite continues singing: “Stop! In the name of love........”

First Trilobite turned to Stegosaurus. “Just ignore him; he'll get bored.”

“I love to garden,” observed Stegosaurus. “I use my cool, spiky tail as a plow.”

“Next time I garden I'm planting some tomatoes,” said Fake Trilobite.

“You can only plant underwater things in your underwater garden. We're largely seafaring animals!” exclaimed First Trilobite.

“Well, if I could plant tomatoes I would,” said Fake Trilobite.

“Hey, I have an idea. Let's go out to eat. I'd like to try out The Old City Cemetery in Lexington. Let me go get my false teeth.”

“Impossible,” said Stegosaurus. “My cousins and I have tried, but we've been denied each time. There is a law.”

“You're right, Stegosaurus, that law is still in effect,” said First Trilobite. “You cannot dine there.”

“Very well, I'm not that hungry anyway,” said Fake Trilobite. “It's time for the news! CNN is my favorite news source. They say they're America's most trusted news source, so it must be true!”

“One of these days I hope you will evolve critical thinking skills and common sense,” said First Trilobite.

“I was friends with Thomas Paine prior to the American Revolution. I was the little Trilobite that could, sitting on his shoulder and encouraging him to write his pamphlet 'Common Sense'.

“Oh that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. How can a Trilobite help a mammal write? You have no arms !! You also don't need false mammal teeth to eat. You look absurd wearing dentures, by the way.”

“Well if I had arms I would. I really would. I'm going to be somebody someday. I could've been a contender! You forget about that time I attempted heavyweight champion of the world. Mohammed Ali beat me though, because he really was the greatest. Then, I decided to start a wrestling club.”

“Mohammed Ali beat Sonny Liston, and Sonny Liston was not, I repeat, NOT a Trilobite.”

“That's what you know,” countered Fake Trilobite. “Maybe I can't be a boxer. I didn't know in order to be a boxer you need arms. So I tried wrestling.”

“If you can't be a boxer without arms, how can you wrestle without arms?!? You can't write like Thomas Paine either !! “

“I can whisper in his ear....”

“Look, just accept who you are and be the best Trilobite a Trilobite can be. You don't have to make stuff up to succeed in life. If you don't cut it out, you're going to end up glued to a cheap box in a mammal fossil shop, and sold for an exorbitant fee.”

“Well, at least then I'll be worth something to somebody!”

“You see what I go through?” asked First Trilobite as he turned to Stegosaurus and sighed. “He's been this way since the Cambrian Period. It is time to return me to water. Will you please help return me to the sea? I guess you'd better return the both of us.”

“Okay, I will gladly do this for you. It was nice meeting you, and I hope we get to talk again someday.”

Stegosaurus returned the Trilobites to the sea, and decided to remain in Kentucky through July with his classmates. He could not visit the Old City Cemetery, but he did enjoy the Community Arboretum immensely.

A one-of-a-kind trilobite fossil hints at what and how these creatures ate

In the month of February Stegosaurus was visited in Colorado by his Spanish friend Oblitosuarus.

“Hail, good friend!” said Stegosaurus as he saw Oblitoosaurus arriving. “I am so pleased to see you, stay and visit for a while.”

“I shall, Stegosaurus I shall,” rejoined Oblitosuarus. “I have come to the United States in hopes of seeing you and explaining to you the trees of my native land while we enjoy some trees of your native land.”

“Welcome to America,” said Stegosaurus. “How are things on the Iberian Penninsula?”

“Just fine ." said Oblitosaurus. “This is where we regularly eat Fagus sylvatica I live in a forest full of them.”

“How delightful!” declared Stegosaurus.

“Have you got any forests of that depth here? What kind of trees grow there?” asked Oblitosaurus.

“Oh, we have entire forests of Picea pungens but we don't have as many forests of anything like we used to when I was just out of my shell. I miss the world I grew up in.”

“So do I, Stegosaurus. The age when we dinosaurs ruled the earth.”

“Do tell,” said Stegosaurus “What other kinds of trees grow on the Iberian Penninsula?”

“Other than Fagus sylvatica we have entire forests of Quercus robur which are quite delicious; have you ever had any of them?”

“I think not,” said Stegosaurus. “It looks like I am going to ask my college instructor if we can take my class on a Field Trip to Spain. I do so love to eat exotic species of Oak from time to time.”

“They are quite a treat,” said Oblitosaurus. “If you like other species of Oak you will love Quercus robur.”

“My favorites still remain the trees of my youth, which I first cut my cauliflower shaped teeth on when I was so young, the Cycads and their families. “I've refused to eat the Ginkgo biloba out of respect for the fact that they are even older than I am.”

Oblitosaurs laughed.

“Oh my friend, I find this so amusing! I hope you will forgive me for my laughing but I do respect a dinosaur who holds to his principles.”

“No offense taken my friend, as I am glad to have brought some levity to the situation life is too short not to laugh even if you are 120 to 140 Million and 16, soon to be 17.” said Stegosaurus.

“Now I ask, do tell, what other kind of trees are native to your homeland?”

“Well now, let me see,” thought Oblitosaurus. “We have many types of forests including more Oaks, Birch, Firs, and Beech trees. In the The Mediterranean region we have the quite delicious Quercus pyrenaica, and in that area there are groves of many types of deciduous forests. These lower, wetter areas include the lovely Alnus cordata , Willow, Ash, Elm, and Poplar groves. Entire groves, my friend! Entire groves! You have heard of that new invention, grass, correct?”

“Ah yes, introduced to it by my brother horse. Congresssaurus Triceratops enjoys it, too,” said Stegosaurus.

“We have not yet met, but I admire your friend's taste in grass,” said Oblitosaurus. “We have at certain times of the year grass called in latin Tripidium ravennae and heather. We have in the lowlands a few Ulmus Minor, and the Ulmus glabra, at the elevation of about 1400 metres we have growing Quercus rotundifolia a magnificent specimen of tree. Magnificent. The Balearic Islands contain Cyclamen balearicum which prefers to grow in the shade of evergreens. I am sure you'd enjoy them. They're one of my favorites and I can highly recommend them. Oh, I cannot fail to mention the delicious Juniperus thurifera. There are so many more but I hope this short list entices you to sometime come visit me in Spain. Bring your class, please we will all eat together.”

“I would be delighted,” said Stegosaurus. “Now let me tell you more about the trees native to my Colorado as you have come all this way to learn of them. Now I have already mentioned the delicious Picea pungens, but I think another type of tree you would like to consume would be the Pinus aristata or maybe the Quercus gambelii, given all the Oaks you eat in Spain,” said Stegosaurus. “Here in Colorado we also have the wonderful Acer negundo of which many have heard me praise in the past. There is here the Prunus virginiana …. beware Mammals! don't choke on it! “

“Oh, Stegosaurus, you have a sense of humor for sure,” observed Oblitosaurus.

“Life is too short not to, even if you are over 140 Million Years old,” said Stegosaurus.

“We also have a tree in Colorado favored by Stegosaurus Claus himself, the Pseudotsuga menziesii as the mammals often use it for their Christmas trees, Stegosaurus Claus eats them regularly. I think you will like them too.”

“I will follow the recommendations of my friend Stegosaurus. Any tree good enough for Stegosaurus Claus will be good enough for me,” said Oblitosaurus.

“Your trust in me is admirable, good friend. Let me tell you now about the Picea engelmannii, we have to go to the higher elevations to get this one, so it can get a little cold that high up. It's worth it though. If you stay around for an extended period we could stomp forthrightly to a grove of them I know of well.” said Stegosaurus.

“There certainly are a great number of trees here in Colorado USA as there are in my native Spain” said Oblitosaurus.

“Yes we have a great variety. This is enough talking for now; let us eat and I will gladly tell you more about trees another time. All this talking about trees makes me very hungry!” said Stegosaurus.

“Agreed, my friend, let us dine!” exclaimed Oblitosaurus.

Oblitosaurus did remain a delighted guest at Stegosaurus' cave in Colorado through February, March, and April, eating the trees of Colorado, while Stegosaurus enjoyed showing off his college education by explaining each of the native species to his Spanish friend.

In mid May near the time for finals of the Spring semester, my class and I got on our rafts and floated forthrightly to the country of England as we were required to eat the trees of England for our final grade.

I thought it was an ideal time to visit my British friend Iguanodon, who was excited to hear of my arrival in his land. I did not visit with him at first, feeling obligated to take care of my studies with my classmates. Together we found a nice grove of Frangula alnus which we all enjoyed, though we were disappointed to be there too early to enjoy the fruits the trees bear in the later months of the summer. We were however, just in time to enjoy the delicious flowers that precede them. We have some of these trees in North America, introduced by mammals, but it is not common. My cousin Wuerhosaurus knows of it as it grows in parts of China; but my class and I found our grove in a lovely Sussex bog not far from the home of Iguanodon.


Next we stomped around until we found a flowery grove of Fraxinus ornus, a favorite treat of my cousin Kentrosaurus, who never fails to remind me of the reference the tree has in his Bible.

I will say that the manna advertised in that Bible is quite wonderful to eat, as well as the tree's numerous flowers. I was going to be content to reach for the lower branches, perhaps standing on my hind legs briefly to reach a select few higher up; but that was the extent to which I was willing to go. But then, one of my classmates decided to knock down a 49 foot tree with his cool, spiky tail, and we all joined in after eating the leaves and flowers that fell from the tree when it hit the ground. I decided I had to come back here with Iguanodon and share some of this Fraxinus ornus with him. I wondered how it would taste combined with Citrus bergamia. As it turned out, we all did get a few points marked off for knocking down the tree, but I admit it was worth it; that was one delicious tree.

The last tree that my class and I were required to find was one of my favorites; it was Chamaecyparis lawsoniana, which I enjoy so much because as a conifer, it reminds me of some of the extinct trees of my youth, when I was barely out of my shell. It was also introduced to the British Isles by mammals sometime last week, or perhaps around 1854. The goal for the class was to find an American tree which had been introduced in Europe, and we were successful !! The Chamaecyparis lawsoniana is native to the Western United States, being parts of Washington State and California. Now sadly this wonderfully delicious tree is under threat by Phytophthora lateralis, a terrible root disease, and my hope is that when I graduate with my Doctorate in tree disease I will be able to keep this species of tree alive.

Now we could go home to Colorado, but I wanted to visit Iguanodon, and upon hearing of my plan, my classmates asked to be sure of my location so that I would not be left behind. We all wanted to leave England together.

Thus, I did not depart England on schedule; but instead left our swamp in search of Iguanodon. It had been a while since I had visited with him, but we put our small brains together, and made an educated guess as to his location. While my classmates decided to remain behind and eat some more, I went on to the city of London, particularly the borough of Bromley where there are some monuments to dinosaurs, erected last week, or maybe just after the mammals discovered us. These are known as the Crystal Palace Dinosaurs, and the place is sometimes called Dinosaur Court. I know for a fact that Iguanodon frequents that place since it was declared off limits to mammals in recent years.

I did find him indeed, grazing by his quite inaccurate Momument; If mammals see us, we will just stand very still, and they will, in spite of their larger brains, think we are one of the statues.

"Hail, Iguanodon! It is I, Stegosaurus! How goes things for you?"

"Stegosaurus!" exclaimed my fellow herbivore. "What a nice surprise! It has been so long since I have seen you!"

"Yes, indeed! I apologize for taking so long to visit you, old friend !! I hope I find you very well! I am here with my college class studying our finals and thought I'd take an opportunity to visit with you."

" How kind of you to travel all the way from Colorado USA, " said Iguanodon. I am in one of my favorite spots, next to a Monument that a nice mammal, Benjamin Waterhouse Hawkins sculpted for me in the year 1854."

"It does not look anything like you," said Stegosaurus.

"I know, but it is still quite charming, and I do like it very much," rejoined Iguanodon. "It is very unfortunate you are not represented here."

"Ah, but I was not yet discovered by mammals in 1854; and I have many Monuments in my native land of Colorado. I was discovered early enough that the mammals consider me a "classic" dinosaur, whatever that means; but you and the others represented here, you are the real trailblazers. "

I told my friend of the trees that my classmate and I had already consumed. We both expressed concern over the root disease afflicting the Chamaecyparis lawsoniana, and I asked him what trees and foliage he had enjoyed lately.

"Sometimes I dine at Epppings Forest or Oxley's Wood; at times I stomp over to Lincolnshire to visit the Bowthorpe Oak but I don't dare eat any of it out of respect for the fact that it is 1,000 years old."

"You have a lot of acres here, " observed Stegosaurus.

"Yes, 200 in fact," said Iguanodon. "Why, I can fondly remember when this area was nothing but Quercus dalechampii trees."

"Let us go stomp forthrightly to the Stambourne Woods and see if there are any Quercus dalechampii to eat. After mentioning the Bowthorpe I am really craving some oak, but like you don't want to eat THAT particular oak out of the deepest respect for its age."

Iguanodon and I went right away to the Stambourne woods, which are part of Crystal Palace Park and heartily ate some Quercus dalechampii we found there.

We ate some of the Fraxinus ornus I had been so excited about. We dined on Caprifoliaceae , Primula polyantha, and Lysimachia nemorum. I particularly enjoyed the varieties that I cannot readily find in the States.

I asked Iguanodon,

"You seem well set here, friend. How have things been of late? I apologize for not staying in touch more often."

"No worries, friend Stegosaurus. I take no offense to your absence though it is quite good to see you. I content myself to dine here at the Crystal Palace; sometimes I go to the swamp in Sussex, just North of here where you studied with your classmates. I've been taking a low profile in very recent years. It seems the paleo artists don't draw or paint me as much as they used to in years past. It bothered me at first, but I relaxed after a time and adjusted to my lower profile status. Sometimes I speak with other dinosaurs represented here if they feel so inclined to visit; particularly Megalosaurus, who in spite of being a carnivore is rather laid back and not as much a threat to me as one might think at first. I think the fact that he's still not fully discovered even though he was the first dinosaur discovered weighs heavily on him, and has given him a sense of humility not usually seen in our carnivore friends. I've really gotten into landscaping around here and it turns out that I really enjoy that line of work. So that is how I keep myself busy."

"I am so glad to hear it, and I promise to visit you more often henceforth, and I hope you will someday come to America and visit me in Colorado. It is now time, though, I am sorry to say for me to reconnect with my class and float forthrightly home; we've all agreed to depart together."

"Very well, my old friend," said Iguanodon. "I promise that I will visit with you, and we will eat some lovely Picea pungens together. It has been awhile since I have had Picea pungens and you know they go so well with Citrus bergamia. I am British, and I do love my tea."

Thus, I bid Iguanodon farewell, returned to the Sussex swamp where I met my classmates, and we all returned to the United States without any incident. I had a lovely visit, and as it turns out passed my final exam on the trees of England. We got some points taken off, yes, but it was also noted that I had observed the root disease of the Chamaecyparis lawsoniana, and I am content.

Stegosaurus Cowsay

"I spent Thanksgiving by stomping forthrightly down to Georgia and spending it with my college class," said Stegosaurus. We all agreed we should take on an extra credit assignment and identify and eat a couple of trees native to the State. First, one of my classmates found a nice grove of Acer negundo, commonly known as the Boxelder. In some circles they are considered invasive, as they grow very fast. Though originating in the deep South these hearty, resilient plants can grow in many other places. They have been introduced in South America, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, and Asia. Perhaps I will send a seedling to Wuerhosaurus for Christmas, to put outside his cave; he'd like that. And to my Canadian friend Styracosaurus, who would call it by its Canadian name, Manitoba Maple. They make better Christmas presents than a Chia Pet, though there are times that I've been known to eat those too. The first few plants of this type that my classmates found had Boisea trivittata on them, but that was of no real concern since they generally do no harm to the plant at all.



When we had eaten our fill of Acer negundo, and I had gathered that which I plan to give away as gifts to my friends, we all stomped around forthrightly until we found some wonderful specimens of Catalpa bignonioides. This tree is also a native of the Southern United States, but it too, can be introduced into Canada and other parts of the world and thrive. I learned in class that when a Ceratomia catalpae ate of its leaves, the leaves produced an excess of nectar, which attracted ants to defend it from Ceratomia catalpae. I was dared to test this theory on Stegosaurids by my classmates, my classmates knowing my distinct dislike of insects. For sure this was proven, and in very short time much to my irritation I had insects under my scales and trying to get into my eyes. This was of much amusement to my classmates, who are lucky I know how to endure a good joke from time to time. The Catalpa bignonioides is accordingly not my favorite tree to eat, but I will say that they are quite delicious, and also low fat. Something to keep in mind during the Holidays!"

"It happened after Spring Break that our instructor sent me and my class to the Appalachian Mountains in Virginia to search for ( but not eat ), the apparently rare Allegheny chinquapin, or Castanea pumila. I was certain to find other delicious trees I could eat; I had not been to the Appalachians in some time ... since my days of protecting the forests of Tsuga caroliniana from the Adelges tsugae. I was glad to get some exercise and lose a little bit of weight climbing the country hills and mountains of Virginia.

A couple of my classmates were lucky to find a grove of Kalmia latifolia, and shared with all of us. I was so grateful that I found and shared with them a nice meal of Fagus grandifolia
and Tsuga canadensis. I also wandered off and found some time to myself in a delightful mountain bog, or marshy fen, and not far beyond that a nice and delicious stand of Picea rubens
I was behind my time in my delight, and three of my classmates stomped after me in time, concerned that I had almost wandered into North Carolina. That explained the discovery of the delightful bog.
I was gently scolded, but I had rather be scolded by my classmates than my instructor !!

We ate some very nice Quercus velutina on the way, as well as Gaylussacia baccata and it was here that we found the Quercus muehlenbergii, and we knew that our quest had nearly been achieved. There was some debate if we could eat it, since it was related; some of my classmates were afraid to, that it might go against their grade, but I had done my homework and knew it was okay.

On the last day before we had to depart, we found the coveted Castanea pumila, and not a one of us ate it, so we were given an A in our grade books for the identification quest, and extra credit for not eating the rare plant. It was sore tempting to eat it as it was quite delicious looking, and I do have a very healthy appetite; but I practiced self control and returned to Colorado with my classmates in triumph.

Immediately after the Christmas holidays, cold weather set in, and I decided to float on my raft forthrightly to the State of Hawaii and warmer weather. I am very glad that my cousin Lexovissaurus and Loricatosaurus had returned to France before the bitter weather came in. It was not fit for mammal or Stegosaurus. I was very glad to arrive in the hospitable land of Hawaii; I went to Waimea, Hawaii County, Hawaii immediately upon the word that it had the best grazing in the State. A lot of open land for cattle also might leave some space for a visiting Stegosaurus. I stomped right away to Waimea Nature Park – Kamuela, Hawaii, Ulu La‘au, which means "Garden of the trees" in the Hawaiian language. The Nature park is a major cultural asset, and they are attempting to have invasive tree species removed from National Parks after those species escaped cultivation. I was only too happy to oblige them by putting down a stand of Grevillea robusta and a few Falcataria moluccana besides. I began to wish I had brought my classmates with me to share in some of the work as it was so delicious and it also made me feel good to provide a useful service to the mammals who were trying to improve the beautiful condition of their park. I was so glad to put my degree in Horticulture Consumption to use.

In the late afternoon I took a walk to settle all the trees I ate by visiting the volcano Kohala, the oldest volcano in Hawaii; which reportedly recorded the reversal of the magnetic field some 780,000 years ago. Or maybe it was last week I am not sure. I do remember when it happened though such a major event it was. I made a note to tell Loricatosaurus about this place as I found the fossils of sea faring animals there. I thought if she came here to dig she might find herself.

Then I found a nice cloud forest near the summit, which is a kind of rain forest. Many species there are rare so I didn't eat anything out of respect besides I was still full from all my work in the National Park. I did find myself a nice bog to relax in. The weather being subtropical it is much more suitable to a Stegosaurus but this area being very fragile is highly susceptible to invasive species so I am sure that I will be back here working someday soon. Maybe I will bring my classmates and make a party of it. I found some friendly amphibians in the bog, and struck up a conversation with them about when I might start evolving.

In the evening I went back down to the National Park to watch the sunset and made plans with some Paniolo ( the Hawaiian word for cowboys ) to take part in a rodeo at Parker Ranch just for fun. I really like Hawaii, and have made plans to return for the cherry blossom festival some day soon; what a relaxing time it was. When I return to the mainland and Colorado I must return to my college classes. A doctorate in tree diseases does not earn itself, you know!

"I was overjoyed when, at the end of Spring Break it was decided that my class and I remain in Florida to study the lush, tropical verdure there. So I have enjoyed an extended vacation of sorts in the lovely subtropical climate of the far South," said Stegosaurus.

"I met with a herd of my classmates just outside of Panama City, and we enjoyed a meal of that miracle of modern technology, grass. We identified it as Sisyrinchium angustifolium, an aquatic variety with lovely and tasty blue flowers. Then we were all happy to discover a very large stand of Cephalanthus occidentalis bushes, of which there was enough for all of us. Late in the afternoon I found a nice stand of Pteridophytes, specifically monilophytes but they were not of the low fat variety, and I recalled that I was on a diet so I left them to my classmates and contented myself with that kind that would help me maintain my figure, as well as a Cycadales or two. My classmates admired my restraint, and of course appreciated my generosity and willingness to share."

"In total, I was in Florida for over a month, for we did not leave this lovely tropical paradise until mid April, in order to prepare for the semester finals. I have been doing well so far in my classes this semester. It is easy when life is so pleasant. I feel like I am the happiest and most content Stegosaurus in the whole world."

Bonjour, Je m’appelle Lexovissaurus!

"Aujourd’hui, le 10 Mai, sera un jour que l’on ce rappellera, un jour d’importance monumental. Pourquoi ? Je suis en visite en Angleterre. Vous vous demandez pourquoi je veux quitter la France, mon pays natal, la plus cultivée de tous les pays? L’Angleterre et la France non pas toujours eu de bonnes relations et surtout lorsque vous êtes un dinosaure avec une mémoire de million d’années; vous n’obligiez jamais rien. Je suis ici parce que mon épouse est à Oxford, et tout son travail acharné a été récompensé et elle a gradué d’Oxford, avec un degré en Paléontologie. Mes cousins Kentrosaurus et Stégosaures sont venus célébrer avec nous; ils vont arriver en Angleterre après avoir retourné d’une visite en Chine. Wuerhosaurus va venir aussi, mais il voyage par sa méthode traditionnelle de pas lents, et peut-être il va être en retard. Nous allons lui pardonner; c’est après tout, à la mode d’être en retard."

"Que Dieu soit loué, nous sommes arrivés en temps, " exprima Kentrosaurus. "Stégosaures et moi, nous nous sommes bien amusés en Chine et à Tibet avec notre cousin Wuerhosaurus, mais nous avions hâte d’aller sur notre radeau et flotter directement en Angleterre pour voir ton épouse accepter son mérite d’émoluments."

"Elle a vraiment beaucoup travaillé," exprima Stégosaures. " C’est certainement bien désiré, et passionnant pour nous tous. Personne n’ai plus intelligente ou plus qualifié que Loricatosaurus."

"Je suis très fier." exprima Lexovissaurus. La plupart des dinosaures sont comme moi; satisfait de manger des plantes, ou l’un et l’autre, et ne pense jamais ce que le lendemain apportera, d’où nous venons ou où nous allons être dans le future. Nous laissons la découverte de ceci aux mammifères. Nous ne nous donnons pas notre nom nous même ! Mais ma jolie épouse, Loricatosaurus est excessivement curieuse et elle est une personne pleine d’initiative. Elle m’a dit plusieurs fois, depuis la première fois quelle a piétiné vers Oxford, " Pourquoi attendre pour un mammifère de faire ce que l’on peut faire nous même?"'

"Est-ce que c’est vrai," demanda Kentrosaurus, quelle a trouvé et lu le livre insaisissable du Thesaurus? C’est une sagesse légendaire."

" Elle est très timide à propos de ceci, et ne le dira pas," a exprimé Lexovissaurus. Mais j’ai mes soupçons que ceci est la vérité."

"Que Dieu soit loué, loué comme une source de toutes nos bénédictions," répondit Kentrosaurus.

"Elle est très humble," exprima Stégosaures. Aussi intelligente que mon père O.C. Marsh, " Je pense quelle est la plus intelligente dinosaure de tous les temps."

"Vous êtes très gentil," exprima Lexovissaurus. "Merci. C’est une bonne observation et sur le point. Vous pouvez avoir raison."

"J’imagine que vous avez des fabuleux plans de voyage dans votre future," exprima Kentrosaurus.

"Oui," exprima Lexovissaurus. "Certainement. Loricatosaurus a hâte de s’y mettre. Mais premièrement nous allons retournés en France et passer du temps chez-nous; l’importance de l’étude et l’éducation a mis des restreints sur notre temps ensemble chez-nous dans notre caverne."

"Quels sont les endroits que vous voulez allez ?" demanda Stégosaures.

"Le pays où vous venez d’aller, la Chine, est haut sur notre liste, et aussi le pays natal de Kentrosaurus, Nigeria." exprima Lexovissaurus. "Mais je pense que notre premier arrêt, après toutes les célébrations soit terminées, et là le travail commencera, en Portugal. Vous vous rappelez quelque uns de nos vertébrés, notre cousin Stégosaures a été découvert en 2009."

"Oui, des vertébrés et des sexy plaques. C’est pourquoi j’ai ouvert un École de Dance là."

"Nous allons commencer des recherches dans toutes les places, dans notre propre pays premièrement; parce que c’est où nous avons été trouvé. C’est évident qu’il faut commencer avec ceci premièrement. La réponse à ses questions peut-être dans notre jardin."

" Ceci est une bonne raison," exprima Stégosaures. "C’est un moment excitant d’être en vie, et Kentrosaurus et moi donnons nos félicitations à ton épouse pour ses accomplissements."

"Maintenant allons piétinés à Oxford. L’heure de la graduation approche, et je suis plein de joie et de fierté ; c’est difficile de le contrôler." exprima Lexovissaurus. Nous avons attendu longtemps pour ce grand jour."

"My class and I, to my surprise were sent earlier this month to my native State of Colorado," said Stegosaurus. "I am still studying for my doctorate in tree disease. It has been a while I know, but it takes a long time to attain a doctorate when your brain is the size of a walnut. I'm slow, but I'm good."

"We were tasked with leaving the trees alone and only eating the woody bushes some 5 to 9000 feet up in the Colorado mountains. I found myself a nice meal of Ptelea trifoliata. And then, a little further up, I found some Cercocarpus ledifolius which was a rather heavy meal, but quite delicious. One of the most difficult parts of the test was identifying and eating the different forms of Hawthorns in my State. I found a nice group of Crataegus chrysocarpa, of which there was enough to share with my classmates. We also found considerable amounts of Crataegus erythropoda, and Crataegus succulenta. It was at this time that I accidentally ate a whole Pseudotsuga menziesii which is not a woody shrub, and I will probably get points marked off for that... but it is near Christmas, and I could hardly resist; other than the Picea pungens Engelmann, they are my favorite tree to eat."

Stegosaurus and his classmates stomped forthrightly to Texas in early June accompanied by Rhedosaurus and his lovely wife Lady Rhedosaurus to help as part of the Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency. A flock of Upland Moa birds also felt compelled to join them in their rescue efforts.

"I saw that my friends in Texas needed some help, so I called upon my classmates and a few others who enjoy helping those in need to stomp to their aid," said Stegosaurus.


"I started this service because I am very experienced in dealing with the problems that disasters can cause. Just ask me about Chicxulub some time!"

"Houston dealt with 11 inches of rain just prior to this disaster, and other parts of Texas, particularly those places along the Trinity River are facing the prospect of additional rainfall so we sent the Moa Birds up there to help out," said Lady Rhedosaurus.

"Yes, honestly, this place right now looks worse than the time I stomped through New York in '53," said Rhedosaurus.

"I'm glad you're here to help," said Stegosaurus. "A small contingent of my classmates have gone up the Trinity River to help the Moas resolve problems and aid victims of Nature's excessive deluge."


"We're working together with ( the native mammals of Texas as well, ) to prove to the World that voluntary action is not only the most efficient, but the least intrusive method to public liberty that can be devised by mammal or prehistoric animal," said a Moa Bird emphatically.

"Small children love to see us too! Why, yesterday I paused to give some small children some levity by letting them ride on my back between my plates," said Stegosaurus. "It pleased me to see them so happy."

"And if the Moas are building up a dam, or the Rhedosaurids are helping to rebuild mammal homes, we know we are doing our part in the community. Everyone knows us and loves us, everywhere we stomp," the loquacious plate lizard concluded.

"No one is afraid, and they are grateful to work with us as Texans particularly, of all North American mammals, have an independent streak," said Lady Rhedosaurus. "Not one is afraid. Even of my husband!"

"I'm glad Rhedosaurus is repairing his reputation with figures of mammal authority," said Stegosaurus. "Keep working with us, and in time you'll find mammals will eventually remember you more for the good deeds you have done, the permanence of the silver screen aside," said Stegosaurus.

"You have such remarkable faith in the better parts of mammal nature," observed Rhedosaurus. "It is very admirable."

"Thank you friend," said Stegosaurus. "I've lived 140 million and 9 years focusing on the positive. Good advice for anyone. It really helps you live a happier and more productive life."

"I spent this weekend at the American Museum of Natural History in New York", said Stegosaurus. "I was there for one of my many public relations initiatives which have been so numerous in the last few hundred years. The job market can really be brutal when you're extinct, you know. There's not much call for work outside of a museum. Anyway there I was standing still for hours. I've received a lifetime achievement award for playing extinct as you might recall. I'm REALLY good at it they say."

"Early in the morning a mammal carrying a suitcase came in followed by 6 children. The children were delighted to see me because they were small, and small children everywhere love me for some reason. I keep making that observation, because its true. Don't know why for sure but I am very thankful for it. It was very interesting observing the actions of this mammal and his children, because he kept lining them up in single file, and then arranging and re arranging them in different order.

On occasion another mammal would stop him and they would converse a little bit. Then, he'd go back to arranging his children in various combinations.

Then, he opened his suitcase and arranged his garments within in different combinations.

This went on for the better part of the day. Finally at the end of the day curiosity got the better of me, and with very few mammals left in the museum before closing, I ventured to ask him what he was doing. To his credit, he did not seem at all surprised that I should speak to him in a museum. That's good. I really hate to frighten mammals like that plus I don't want to lose the reputation that got me my life time achievement award. I'm really proud of that.

"Hi, my name is Stegosaurus," said Stegosaurus.

"Hi," said the mammal. "My name is Julio. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

"If you don't mind my asking what in the world are you doing there, arranging your children in so many different combinations?"

"It is very interesting, how nice of you to ask," said Julio. "Did you know," my interlocutor said enthusiastically, "..... that I can arrange my 6 children, single file, in 720 different ways?"

"How do you know this? How do you arrive at that number?" asked Stegosaurus.

"It is very simple, " observed Julio. "I have used the Fundamental Counting Principle of mathematics. Using that very same principle, I have determined that with the two pair of shoes, five pair of pants and 6 shirts I have in my suitcase that I can expect to have 60 different combinations of garments to wear."

"Very interesting," observed Stegosaurus. "I don't have a good brain for numbers it is only the size of a walnut but I do know a lot of facts about myself in numbers."

"Oh yes," said Julio. "Would you please tell me this information? I am always fascinated with numbers."

"A Stegosaurus has about 300 bones," said Stegosaurus.
"A Stegosaurus has on average about 16 spiff, sexy plates. Sometimes you will see one of us with a few more than that but on average the number is 16."
"A Stegosaurus also has 16 claws, on 4 feet."
"Four is also the number of spikes that I have on my cool, spiky tail."

"Fascinating facts!" observed Julio with glee.
"Would you mind if I re arranged your 300 bones into different combinations?"
"If its all the same I had rather you not do so honestly," said Stegosaurus. "I find myself really attached to my bones the way that they are."
"This is very understandable," observed Julio. "The way they are has served you well for millions of years."
"I will tell you a fact about set theory," Julio continued, "Now there is a formula I will teach you about which can tell us how many subsets a particular set has. The formula is 2 to the power of x. X is representative of the number of elements." Julio paused to clear his throat and then resumed, "The set Stegosaurus has 11 elements in it; That is 2 to the 11th power for a total for 2,048 ."
"I did not know this!" declared Stegosaurus. "You are so smart you can teach a Stegosaurus mathematics!"
"Thank you," said Julio.

"The museum is about to close now," observed Stegosaurus. "What will you do with the rest of your day?"

"Well," said Julio, I must go to the Home Depot hardware store and buy bundles of shingles to re shingle my roof. Then, maybe at night I will solve some quadratic equations before bed."

"I think the quadratic equations are above the understanding capacity of my walnut sized brain," observed Stegosaurus. "I would be very interested in helping you re shingle your roof. If you were to translate the Greek and Latin roots of my name I would be known as a Narrow -faced roof lizard. This is why at The Stegosaurus Construction Company roofing is our specialty. "

"I would be pleased to receive the help of The Stegosaurus Construction Company," said Julio. "Thank you very much."

When we left the museum, Julio and his children decided to ride by Stegosaurus, because we all know fossil fuel is murder. On the way I asked Julio what the square footage of his roof was.

"1800 square feet." responded Julio.

"Let's see, then, " said Stegosaurus. "You must have 18 squares, determined by dividing 1800 into 100. 18 squares times 3 bundles square is 54. We will need 54 bundles."

"I thought you said you were not very good in dealing with numbers!" said Julio with surprise.

"Yes, but also, roofing is the specialty of the Stegosaurus Construction Company you know."

"Oh right," said Julio.

"I just do what I do," shrugged Stegosaurus.

"I called upon my crew which included not only my usual classmates from college but Julio as well. By dusk, we had finished our work."

"Thank you very much! I appreciate the help!" said Julio.

"No problem, glad to do it," said Stegosaurus.

"Look at that sunset," said Julio. "What a beautiful time of the evening to solve quadratic equations."

"The Stegosaurus Construction Company shall leave you to your equations, good friend. How very nice to make your acquaintance. I hope we meet again."

"Oh I'm sure we will," said Julio. "Come back tomorrow. I need to return to Home Depot to buy some paint and a door."

"This semester in college I'm taking an elective course in Science," said Stegosaurus.

"Mammals may be surprised to discover that I have a great interest in Science; don't let my walnut - sized brain fool you ... I can be pretty sharp, some of the time. Maybe not as sharp as Einstein or Hawking, sometimes not even as sharp as my cool, spiky tail... but nonetheless I'm really fascinated by Science and the Natural World."

"Now maybe Carl Sagan can finally explain to me how I can get sunshine from a cucumber ...."

"Let me give you some advice," said Stegosaurus. "Especially designed for mammals, since your lives are so sadly short."

"I spent my summer in college this year, after returning from my bird watching vacation. Summer time courses will accelerate the acquisition of my degree, so there is a silver lining. Some things you have to do in the name of education are just difficult. There's no way around it. This year I spent with my class mostly on the west coast trying to identify the Junglans regia from the native species of Juglans. Of course you know how I feel about walnuts and walnut trees. It was one of those pesky requirements, but I faced my uncomfortable fears and got through it."

"You know, if there's one thing I've learned in over 140 million years stomping around this planet it is that worrying accomplishes nothing. Being nonchalant about the future is shortsighted and foolish; but reasonable preparations will make your later years much more pleasant. That is why, one of the reasons why I did what I did; mammals and others who eat walnuts make me uncomfortable, but I did what I did because the future is important to me, even after so many millions of years."

"The world is what you make of it, and what you present to the world is what you will attract to yourself. If you are bitter, negativity will encircle you like a cloud. If you are jealous, envy will follow you and grow. If you are positive and upbeat, if you are kind and generous, patient and tolerant, these attributes will be returned to you tenfold. Don't let anyone stomp all over you; be firm when you need to be; use your cool, spiky tail only in times when your very life is threatened with extinction, and your life will be much more pleasant."

"Do what you can; and do it as soon as you can. Practice kindness towards your fellow creatures whenever possible but accept the things that cannot be changed; the things that you will not be able to do. You will get the blues. That is unavoidable but you have to know how to handle these kind of situations when they occur. I would like to fly, as I have said a number of times, but I doubt it will happen. I can't just evolve on command, apparently. I would like to play our American Pastime base ball again, if only I could find someone to reinstate me. I would also like to play with children in a bounce house but I can't find one big enough for me, and even if I could I'm just too darn spiky. Bounce houses don't like spikes and claws. Sure I'm jealous of birds with their wings and envious of children with their bounce houses sometimes but it does not consume my life to the detriment of my cheerful demeanor."

"Ultimately you get out of life what you put into it; you cannot change the past nor predict the future. Beyond the reasonable, live in the moment, for meteors may fall at any time. This is my wisdom I leave to you. Putting things into perspective, in relative terms can really help. Count your blessings and keep your beak up and it will all work out for the best."

"I'm back in college again, and this semester my class and I have all stomped forthrightly to Montana, said Stegosaurus. "Our assignment is to identify and consume Tsuga mertensiana, which have been absolutely delicious, let me tell you. It must be the mountain air that contributes to their exceptional, full bodied flavor. Delicious!"

"Well now once class was over for the day I decided I should take a short stomp to visit my friend Ankylosaurus, who lives nearby. I found him at home, dining on a nice meal of Juniperus horizontalis."

"Stegosaurus!" he exclaimed. How nice to see you! I have been well...exceedingly so. What brings you to Montana?"

"My class is in town; you know I'm in college working on a Doctorate in tree disease. I just thought I'd stomp by and see how you have been," replied Stegosaurus.

"I have a new venture," explained the loquacious fuzed lizard. I have started a support group for partially discovered dinosaurs. Now I ... well, haven't I been rude? Please come and join my meal; there's plenty to go around. Plenty of Juniperus horizontalis. " They'll really hit the spot; Yes, that's it."

"Thank you," said Stegosaurus. "Now you were talking about starting a support group?"

"Yes, I have," confirmed Ankylosaurus. "For partially discovered Dinosaurus. It all started back when Brachiosaurus' body temperature was determined by science. I realized that not only was he fully discovered, his body temperature was also known! It made me feel bad, being only partially discovered myself, and I started to get jealous. I regretted that, and wanted to redirect this energy in a positive way, so I am starting this support group for partially discovered dinosaurs."

"That is a wonderful idea!" Exclaimed Stegosaurus. "You know my cousin in France, Lexovissaurus and his wife are both only partially discovered. Maybe they'd be interested in joining your group."

"I made an inquiry to Loricatosaurus," said Ankylosaurus. "After apologizing for her limited skill in English, she told me, 'Thank you very much for the .... how do you say it, .... ah, invitation and consideration. However, my husband is too proud and refuses to admit he should go ... though I admit he could, ah ... the word, what is the word... benefit .... from your group. For myself, I am now college educated and not so concerned about being partially found. I am confident that if I keep ....er, ... digging around I will find me eventually. I've got to .. ah... be here somewhere.'

"Last week we were joined by Trachodon and most notably Captialsaurus of the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus," continued Ankylosaurus. "Capitalsaurus came at the urging of Congresssaurus Triceratops; Congressaurus Triceratops told him: 'PLEASE go. You need to go. You're boring everyone to extinction with your long winded speeches on the House Floor about the glorious day when you will be completely discovered!'

"I'm surprised Congresssaurus Triceratops said that," remarked Stegosaurus.

"Well," rejoined Ankylosaurus, "Capitalsaurus was hurt at first, even though Congressaurus Triceratops meant no ill, and the admonishment was gentle. He told me that he thought, 'Congresssaurus Triceratops doesn't know .... doesn't have a clue how it really feels to be identified only by part of a single vertebra!'

"Regardless of his initial feelings, Capitalsaurus came to my group meeting and later remarked he felt better for having shown up."

"That's really nice," said Stegosaurus. "You say Trachodon was there also?"

"Yes, yes he was," said Ankylosaurus. "What a nice fellow he is. I had a conversation with him personally after the therapy session. I will relate it to you."

********************

"I'm glad you could make it to the meeting,Trachodon. I hope you've made some friends," said Ankylosaurus.

"Yes, I have met some nice dinosaurs that are also only partially discovered, and I feel a lot better after only one session," said Trachodon. "Sometimes life can really get you down when you're only identified by a handful of teeth."

"I know, I know," said Ankylosaurus. "I started this group because I myself am only partially discovered and I wanted to not feel jealous of my fellow dinosaurs who are fully discovered. My notion was to redirect any jealous feelings into a productive and positive direction. This group will be helpful to other partially discovered dinosaurs like yourself. Sure, only your teeth are discovered, but at least you're still known to be in the Hadrosaur family."

"That's right!" said Trachodon. "It could always be worse. I could be a mammal."

"That's it, that's the way to look at it!" said Ankylosaurus. "Keep your chin up!"

"I sure will, if the scientists ever find it!" declared Trachodon proudly.

*****************

"This is definitely a wonderful public service," said Stegosaurus.

"Thank you. At the meeting next week we're being joined by Spinosaurus, who remembers very well the years when he himself was only partially discovered. His speech will be titled, "Fear not, it does get better."

"That sounds really encouraging," said Steogosaurus. "You are doing such a wonderful thing and I commend you for it. I myself have met Spinosaurus at my cousin's wedding; he's a meat eater! I hope he does not eat you and your group entire!"

"Me too," said Ankylosaurus. "It's a gamble, but one I am willing to take. I also can't help but observe that Stegosaurids are not the only ones with really cool defensive tail armaments. If there's any trouble I am confident we'll be able to put a quick end to it. Say, thank you friend Stegosaurus for stopping by. It has been great to see you."

"Thank you; you too," said Stegosaurus. "Keep up the great work!"

"It's nice to be back in college again," said Stegosaurus. "I'm up in Michigan right now, specifically the Great Lakes region looking for Mentha Piperita. One of my classmates has developed an upset stomach because he made the mistake that I made a little while back and ate a hearty meal of Lyonia ferruginea in Florida. Now we're up here in the mid west looking for a cure. I'm sure we'll find some soon. I'm glad we started now; it being late summer the season is almost over.

After class today I'd like to stomp forthrightly to Canada and visit my Canadian friend Styracosaurus. He tells me that Canada has introduced Corylus americana to its land, and I've been thinking about it the whole time. Corylus americana is a real treat, and perhaps I'll try it with a keg or two of Stegosaurus Stout.

It'll be nice to visit Canada again it has been some time since I stomped there. I'd also like to dine on some native tree species, like Abies lasiocarpa, Picea glauca, Taxus canadensis, and of course that miracle of modern technology... my favorite broadleaf... Acer rubrum !!

Looks like I'll need to bring more Stegosaurus Stout, and of course, not forget to be good and share my meal with my host Styracosaurus. He's already expecting my visit and saving me some Coffee plants which he brings with him from visits to Africa and Asia.

Yes, yes I know this all seems very routine. Sometimes the life of a Stegosaurus, eating large quantities of verdure and stomping forthrightly everywhere is just that, routine. I am content with my pleasant lot; I hope you are too. Sometimes difficulties may be visited upon us, but it is all very relative. If you think you are having a bad day just wait until a giant meteor slams into the Yucatán Peninsula .... perspective has a positive way of helping one to organize their priorities.

"Summer is nearly at an end, and as Fall approaches, so does another semester of college!" declared Stegosaurus. "It started last week, and I am so excited! As soon as I could I stomped forthrightly to meet my class in Michigan, where we all got together and identified some delicious thickets of sassafras albidum.

Afterward it was only a short stomp into Canada, where we found some delectable Prunus pensylvanica. We were about a month late for the cherry season, but the leaves and bark served as a wonderful treat. While there I had hoped to visit my Canadian friend Styracosaurus in Alberta, but he was not home, having stomped elsewhere to hear a Wooly Mammoth sermon in Nova Scotia.

Before we left Canada though we had an opportunity to eat a nice meal of Amelanchier alnifolia. It's great being back in class again. I love learning and spending time with my classmates."