When I returned from the land of Japan in late July, I certainly intended to remain in my Colorado cave and rest," said Stegosaurus. "However the afternoon following my return I received a communication from Congresssaurus Tricertatops ( Wy ) ( ret ), who told me of a celebration he was planning, and asked me, with our mammal friend Steve Beaver, to be present. I was informed that Mr. Beaver was to arrive in Colorado that very evening, and Triceratops asked if I could take him the rest of the way, from Colorado to Wyoming. I, of course, readily agreed to do so.

When Steve Beaver arrived, he said he knew all about Congresssaurus Triceratops' celebratory plans, but was asked by Triceratops to keep it secret, so that they could reveal the secret together in due time. The only hint Steve gave was that we had spoken about this secret before, on our way to Canada, but that was so long ago, and my brain so small I could not remember any details. This was okay, as I am very fond of surprises, at least good ones, anyway, and I was assured this was a good one. So, with that, Steve Beaver climbed upon my back, and we set off for the State of Wyoming. Specifically, we stomped to the State capitol, Cheyenne. It was here that we met Congressaurus Triceratops, who heartily welcomed us to his native State, where he had served as representative just over 150 years, till his retirement in the year 2018.

"Friends Stegosaurus, Steve Beaver, please be welcome !" said Congresssaurus Triceratops.

"Before we reveal our surprise, let us take a wonderful tour of the Nation's first National Forest, The Shoshone. You will find this impressive, all 2,500,000 acres. "

Being patient, and naturally intrigued by forests, I naturally agreed, especially as all the travel had made me very hungry.

Congresssaurus Triceratops became tour guide, and impressed us with his oratory skills, perfected over many millions of years in public service in many forms of Government.

"The Shoshone National Forest was declared protected by the mammals' President Benjamin Harrison in 1891, only a couple years after I was discovered; the forest protections were further expanded by President Theodore Roosevelt in 1902. The Shoshone forest is named for the Shoshone Indians, just as our State capitol, Cheyenne, is named for Indians; these tribes are native to the area. This forest is part of the Yellowstone Timberland reserve, including the Wind River Range and Gannett Peak, the largest mountain in the State. Within this area lies the Wind River Indian Reservation, where live the Shoshone Tribe, as well as the Arapahoe. Just to the South, lies The Oregon Trail, a passage significant to mammals in the 19th century West, when they traveled by brother Horse and covered wagon. The first European mammals to explore this area were John Coulter and Jim Bridger, around the year 1808. They documented the natural wildlife, which largely remains the same even unto this day. This will include, cougars, Grizzly bears, moose, elk, and of course, myself. I was discovered and classified by Professor O.C. Marsh within this State in the year 1889."

"Mummy cave here within the forest was rediscovered by the mammals in 1957; in this cave lived an early form of mammals, about 9,000 years ago, which is a long time in the lifespan of mammals. It was placed on the National Register of Historic Places by President Jimmy Carter in 1981. There is a small amount of gold in this area; it was mined with limited success in the late 19th century and though the mine closed up entirely by 1907, panning for gold is still allowed here to this day. in the 1930s the Civilian Conservation Corps built roads, hiking trails and campgrounds, which increased visitation to the area by tourists after World War II.

As vegetarians, Stegosaurus, you and I will take great interest in the many trees native to this area; these include but are not limited to the Pinus contorta; Juniperus scopulorum; Populus tremuloides; Abies lasiocarpa; Picea engelmannii; Pinus albicaulis; and Pinus flexilis. In the lower elevations we may find Populus sect. Aigeiros; and the Salix.

"Well, this sounds wonderful," said Stegosaurus. "Can we eat any of those trees?"

"It would not be a good idea," said Congresssaurus Triceratops. " This IS a National Forest."

"Let's go somewhere where we can eat; I am feeling some appetite for a meal of grass, and there's a nice meadow where I'd like to make my main announcement with Steve Beaver."

"The Shoshone National Forest has been interesting, but I am eager to announce our plans," said Steve, who was still riding on the back of Stegosaurus.

The dinosaurs stomped to a meadow in the State capitol of Wyoming, and when they had grazed and trimmed the meadow Then, Congresssaurus Triceratops declared it was time to make his announcement, and to take part in it, Steve climbed down from Stegosaurus' back and stood beside Triceratops.

"I am here this afternoon in our State capitol of Cheyenne to announce to everyone here and to make it known to the general populace that being retired from politics, I am now a gardener, and have gone into business with my mammal friend Steve Beaver here, to open a greenery; Mr. Beaver is very smart; he told Stegosaurus and myself how we couldn't really extract sunlight from cucumbers, and thereby saved us a lot of effort that would have been ultimately pointless. Without his larger brain, we might have wasted millions upon millions of years !! Mr. Beaver has a great sense for business, which will benefit any dinosaur who wants to do well, since our brains are relatively so small. He is very skilled in growing things, particularly avocado trees, and has an interest in creating hybrid gourds."

"Thank you for your kind words, Triceratops," said Steve Beaver. "I have done many interesting things in my life so far, but I haven't yet tried going into business with a Triceratops so this will be a new adventure for us both; I look forward to working with you."

"I expect we will start by growing the trees found within the Shoshone National Forest, as well as avocados and .... your gourd experiments," said Triceratops.

"I am pleased to attempt these things with you, Triceratops," said Steve. " I am sure our business with thrive. Thank you for your trust in me, and to Stegosaurus for being here today".

And there was much rejoicing.

"The Moa Birds returned to their native New Zealand a few days after my birthday," said Stegosaurus. " I then spent a few weeks of solitude in my cave, only leaving to consume the occasional grove of Picea pungens.

"In July, early July, after the holiday, I received, just when I was feeling sociable again, a visit from my old friend, retired Congresssaurus Triceratops.

"Hail, good friend Triceratops !!" said I. "What causes you to leave Wyoming and come to visit me in my beautiful native State, Colorado??"

"Well met, friend Stegosaurus!" exclaimed Congresssaurus Triceratops. "I recalled sometime last week, or maybe it was about a year or two ago that I visited and we attempted to extract sunlight from cucumbers by the wisdom of one mammal, Johnathan Swift. Following his instructions we could not fail, I reasoned, and while you were consulting with your loyal accountant Corythosaurus, I actually succeeded in our goal. However, in my zeal to show you I became hungry and ate the cucumbers; I shortly realized my error, but could not duplicate my results, setting us back to square one, essentially. My hope is, that you still have mammal Swift's instruction book, and we can again try to succeed at our goal. Imagine the great day for science when it is discovered that a dinosaur duo such as us, contributed positively to the great body of mammal science, long before the mammals, with their well known larger brains discover it ! I have my heart set on this endeavor."

"I know this means a lot to you, Congresssaurus Triceratops," said Stegosaurus. "However, given our past difficulties, and I hope you will not take this poorly, as I value your friendship, I think it most prudent that we work with mammals to help us reach our goal. I understand your temptation that caused our failure as I have gotten close on my own in the past and given in to eating the cucumbers before they produce light to extract."

"I understand, friend Stegosaurus," said Congresssaurus Triceratops. "We all have certain areas at which we excel, and those at which we fail. I have spent many millions of years in the administration of the law and Government. I have been a part of Greek and Roman Governments in their prime, and have seen them deteriorate and fail, just as the Government and its traditions fail here in America at this moment in history. The horns on my frill and nose are where socialists go to become extinct; I have gored many in my time. But there are some things at which I cannot excel, and I also think it prudent that a dinosaur should be honest with himself and admit what he can and cannot do; this is the path to honor and respect as well as dignity."

"Well stated, friend. Well stated. You still have that knack for eloquent public speeches," said Stegosaurus. " I have recently received communication from my cousin in South Africa, Kentrosaurus; He has told me of a very smart mammal he has met named Steve Beaver; and this mammal has restored an Avocado grove for Widow Ground Sloth and her son Junior. if he can plant Avocados, then he must certainly know how to extract sunlight from cucumbers. If you agree to this, I will ask my cousin to see if this famous mammal, friend of the megafauna and dinosaur, to visit Colorado. Surely with his help we will succeed."

"I agree," said Congresssaurus Triceratops; and thus, we contacted Kentrosaurus, and he told me that the famous mammal known as Steve Beaver was willing to come help. It would be some time as he was traveling by raft; but dinosaurs are very patient creatures; when you have seen 140 million and 15 years it is something you learn; and so we waited. Finally on Sunday, July 18th, a much anticipated visitor came to my cave.

"Hello, Stegosaurus," said Steve.

"Hello, welcome to my home Colorado, and I am pleased to introduce you to my friend from Wyoming, Congresssaurus Triceratops, ( retired ), " said Stegosaurus.

"Pleased to meet you Triceratops. I have heard a lot about you," said Steve.

"I have long anticipated your visit, and likewise glad to make your acquaintance." said Congresssaurus Triceratops.

"Kentrosaurus told me you needed my assistance. What can I help you two with?" asked Steve.

Stegosaurus brought out a copy of Gulliver's Travels, and explained everything as best he could.

"We are fascinated by science and the wisdom of mammals. Ever since I read this scientific treatise by Mr. Swift, I have been fascinated with the idea of extracting sunlight from cucumbers. If a mammal in a flying city can do it, so can a dinosaur .... and when Congresssaurus Triceratops retired I found he shares my ambition to contribute the the realm of science in a way that will astound the mammals with large brains. We wish so very much to be the dinosaurs that advance science for the benefit of mammals, that way, they'll stop making fun of us for having walnut brains and respect the intelligence of dinosaurs, if we are alive or extinct, or even nomen dubium. "

"If I tell you what I think, will you promise not to be upset?" asked Steve.

"Of course," said Stegosaurus and Congresssaurus Triceratops in unison.

"Okay. I just don't want to be stabbed with horns or whacked with a cool, spiky tail,"

"Have no fear and please be honest," said Stegosaurus.

"Here it is, bluntly," said Steve. "You cannot extract sunlight from cucumbers. This is an impossibility."

"But, but, how?!?" sputtered Congresssaurus Triceratops. "We put them in the sun and they get very warm, charged with the power of the sun. There must be a way to extract or discharge all that energy."

"We want to help the mammals, the environment, and ourselves by advancing science. If we can do this, perhaps we don't have to become extinct," said Stegosaurus.

"We already are extinct, Stegosaurus. Maybe you missed the worst part of it, the meteor, but we're still extinct." said Congresssaurus Triceratops.

"Sigh," said Stegosaurus.

"You must both understand that this book, this very famous book is a satire. Much of it is a joke. It wasn't til recently that I encountered talking horses; I would never have believed that. Even if horses can talk, I'm pretty sure that it is not possible to extract sunlight from cucumbers," explained Steve.

"Sister Quagga proves horses can talk," said Stegosaurus. "Or that they can be heard by the animal they are addressing at the time they need to be heard in a language that listener understands. "But I was hoping that there was some way that sunlight bearing cucumbers may also be a part of reality."

"I'm sorry to tell you they are not," said Steve sympathetically.

"Well, drat !" said Congressaurus Triceratops, stomping his foot in frustration. "I guess there's no hope for me now but to become a lobbyist like other retired politicians; how drab."

"Do not lose heart, Congresssaurus Triceratops," said Steve. "I can help you there. There are lots of options for someone of your skill set."

"I want to hunt down this Johnathan Swift and stab him with my horns, but that would surely violate the 8th Amendment. If there is one thing I cannot tolerate it is a liar."

"I understand the frustration, but let us not talk of terrible deeds, even if Mr. Swift is long extinct. There are lots of lucrative options besides being a lobbyist for someone of your skill set. Give me an idea of what you'd like to do, and maybe I can still help you. Perhaps you could make some extra money playing extinct in a museum." Steve suggested.

"I've done that !" exclaimed Stegosaurus. "I do that all over the United States and more recently, in other parts of the world."

"It is very lucrative," said Congresssaurus Triceratops. " But I already do that. Have been for quite a while. But I want to do more than do well financially. I just want to do something that will be good for society. I want to be useful in my retirement years. I could live a few million more years yet, unless another meteor strikes."

"I like eating plants," said Congresssaurus Triceratops. "I even remember when grass was invented."

"Well, here's a thought." said Steve. "Have you ever tried growing plants? Maybe you could grow some plants and then open a greenery or garden center. If you can control your appetite and not eat your stock you could do very well. Lots of mammals like plants, and there are lots of mammals to sell plants to. "

"Now this is an interesting thought," said Congresssaurus Triceratops. "If you cannot extract sunlight from cucumbers, can you teach us how to grow our own cucumbers?"

"This I can do," said Steve.

"Capital!" said Congresssaurus Triceratops.

"It is still sad and frustrating that we cannot extract sunlight from cucumbers," said Stegosaurus. "I once thought we were so close!"

"I know," said Steve. "But, running a greenery, you could attempt several kinds of hybrid vegetables, and perhaps create a new vegetable, to the benefit of science and animals everywhere. I have been thinking of this myself for some time."

"I'm glad we have made the acquaintance of this mammal," said Congresssaurus Triceratops to Stegosaurus, "He is indeed very smart. " ..... and then to Steve, " I am very pleased to meet you, Steve Beaver. Thank you for helping an old politician dinosaur find a new path in life."

"You're welcome," said Steve.

"What a great day," said Stegosaurus. "Let us all break from the heavy work of thinking and eat a nice meal of Avocados."

"An excellent choice!" said Steve.

The meal and conversation about Avocados and the versatility of other vegetables continued well into the night. The adventure was just beginning.

In mid July, Congresssaurus Triceratops was still in Colorado visiting Stegosaurus when he heard the news from Washington, DC that he had been cleared of collusion with Russia by the United States Congress.

"I'm glad to hear this, friend Congresssaurus Triceratops," said Stegosaurus.


"Me too; the accusation was groundless .... I was only attending a local production of Finian's Rainbow; and of course I spoke to Londonderry Birds on my way home .... there was never any connection to Russia ........ just power mad mammals who saw what they wanted to see."

"Their concern isn't the welfare of the country; what they are doing is only for the short term gain of their party; not a one of them stands on any thing even remotely resembling honor or principle. There is no integrity to be found in the Halls of the US Congress."

"Will you be returning to Congress, then?" asked Stegosaurus. "It looks like they need your sense of honor and integrity."

"No, no, no. It took me a while to embrace the idea of retirement; I've been in public service for the better part of 70 million years. I've spent years of public service in Greece; in Rome; in Europe; and the United States. Not only has the political climate discouraged me ( as I have seen it so many times before. ) and if the mammals' shenanigans or a meteor falls from the sky and ends it all, I should like to spend some time in my life in the pursuit of more peaceful endeavors that may help both dinosaur and the race of mammals in other ways."

"The pursuit of science is my newest endeavor; and with my remaining years I shall shed light and bring hope to the future by helping you to extract Sunlight from cucumbers."

"Let us prepare a nice mid afternoon snack, and we can compare notes on our progress when I return," said Stegosaurus.

"I have a couple of cucumbers I'd like to show you; while you were away meeting with your accountant Corythosaurus, I think there has been a great stomp forward. I may have been successful in something mammals have been trying for, trying to succeed at since the year 1726. I think I have extracted sunlight from cucumbers!"

"That's great," said Stegosaurus. "I knew that having your larger brain around would be an advantage to the cause. I will return in a moment."


"How about some leftover Austrian Pines? They're leftover from Corythosaurus' visit."

"That would be great."

"I'll add some vegetables from the garden too."

"Some tomatoes would be nice."

Stegosaurus returned with a nicely prepared meal of Austrian pines and cucumbers for two.

Stegosaurus and Congresssaurus Triceratops dug into their meal right away and ate heartily. Before too long, they had finished.

"Well now that was a very good meal. Remain here, and I shall retrieve my cucumbers to show you the scientific advancement to which the mind of dinosaurs have contributed. They laughed at us in the realm of science; they said because we were dinosaurs we were too slow witted to understand the complexities of science. Why, for science, they said, you need a mammal brain !! But I, but you and I have proved them wrong today!" declared Congressaurus Triceratops.

"I know how it is. Sometimes I think they never acknowledge the fact that we aren't slow and slow witted cold blooded swamp monsters. I will await news of your exciting discovery!" said Stegosaurus.

However before too long a time, Congressaurus Triceratops returned distressed. "Where are the two cucumbers I set aside while you were meeting with Corythosaurus?"

"On the rock ledge to the left," said Stegosaurus. "That's where I keep stuff I've harvested from the garden."

"I see no cucumbers there; only tomatoes. Wait.... were we not supposed to have tomatoes with our meal?"

"Yes, but I saw some cucumbers there and I thought that might be better for lunch and we could save the tomatoes for dinn .... um, oops."

"Oh Stegosaurus, Stegosaurus ....."

"Oh dear. I hope we can still be friends .... I didn't mean to ..... will you still stay in Colorado? Can't you repeat your experiment? I'll help you in any way I can. I am really sorry."

"Of course we can still be friends, and I will remain in Colorado as long as you will have me ..... I will just have to start over again. I sure hope I can remember all the complex steps."

"I'm really sorry, Congresssaurus Triceratops. Really."

"Don't worry. I'm just as guilty of eating them as you are ... also, I've served in Congress I'm used to such setbacks and having to go back to the drawing board, to use a mammal expression. What we did once, we can do again, science has been waiting a long time for this breakthrough, it will just have to wait a little bit longer."