Bonjour, je m’appelle Lexovissaurus!

Lorsque j’ai entendu parler que mon cousin Stégosaurus allait faire venir la production du Nutcracker de l’École de Dance de Stégosaurus à Londres durant les fêtes, j’ai dit à ma jolie épouse Loricatosaurus que nous devions aller voir cette production et nous devions passer les fêtes à Londres. Elle était d’accord parce qu’elle était déjà là à Oxford, étudiant pour ses examens pour le semestre. Croyez-le ou non, c’était la première fois que nous avions vu Stégosaurus dans sa production annuelle de cette charmante fable des fêtes. Mon cousin Américain a vraiment fait du rôle de Count Drosselmeyer, son rôle personnel. Il est devenu un expert de bonne grâce à travers les années en faisant pars de cette annuelle production durant beaucoup d’années.

Loricatosaurus a vraiment aimé la perruque de Stégosaurus et elle essaie de me convaincre d’en acheter une pour moi-même. J’hésite à cette proposition, mais je vais y penser de plus. Loricatosaurus est très convaincante.

Après nous avons rencontré Stégosaurus et son entourage pour un délicieux bol de Smoking Bishop et un bon repas de marronniers. Le Smoking Bishop est une tradition à Oxford depuis le début du 19ème siècle, et ceci est de longue date pour les mammifères. Le matin suivant nous avons tous regretter d’avoir bu tant de Bishop, et l’entourage de mammifères du Nutcracker qui a fait le breuvage pour nous nous a envoyé leur excuses, en disant qu’ils avaient oublié de justifier pour nos petits cerveaux ; lorsqu’ils ont préparé le breuvage pour nous. Ils sont pardonnés, mais mon épouse et moi ainsi que Stégosaurus, nous allons nous abstenir de cette tradition d’Oxford à l’avenir.

La veille de Noël nous avions recouvert en tant pour recevoir la visite de Kentrosaurus. Nous avons passé une très belle soirée, parce que Spinosaurus cette année voyageait avec Père Noël Stégosaurus, il n’était pas avec nous pour le repas et nous étions moins nerveux que les années précédentes. Kentrosaurus avec joie a déclaré les mots de Charles Dickens un vrai manifeste, que c’était le temps où la cité et même le monde entier " ....... acceptait d’ouvrir librement leur cœur qui était fermé, et de penser l’un à l’autre et pas à la race de créatures destiné aux autres parcours."

"Que Dieu nous bénisse tous!" déclara Stégosaurus.

(click to enlarge )

"The popularity of my performance as Count Drosselmeyer in Tschiakovski's The Nutcracker has necessitated the addition of dates through the holiday weekend, so I am still in New York," said Stegosaurus.

"I got Christmas cards from my cousins. Lexovissaurus' card just said Joyeux Noel!, but Kentrosaurus had a lot of news to relate.

He told me that he'd applied to march in the Innaugural Parade for US President Barack Obama, and he thought certaintly that he'd be accepted.

He's from Kenya, and the President - elect has family in Kenya. He also thought that his status as a World War II veteran ( he served in the little known Battle of Humboldt Museum ) would elevate his chances.

But unfortunately apparently the President - elect's transition staff did not take his application seriously and declined it.

He's always felt the world did not appreciate his service in the second World War, since he was so severely injured in the Battle of Humboldt Museum, and never recieved a Purple Heart. Now this happened so he was very sad about the rejection. I told him I was very proud of his time spent in the military; I spent most of my time during the War Years on the Homefront trying not to eat my victory garden. Kentrosaurus always has been braver than I am.

Kentrosaurus is planning to invite our sister Quagga over for Christmas dinner --- She is also a veteran of the Battle of Humboldt Museum -- and he said he's felt inspired by the generosity of the season to invite our friend Spinosaurus, if he promises to be a good dinosaur and not eat them all. Kentrosaurus would like to have a nice veteran's reunion.

I have to run now I'm on the stage in 15 minutes! There's a lot of work to do before Stegosaurus Claus comes tonight!"

"After I lost my bid for the Colorado Senate I consoled myself by eating a couple forests," said Stegosaurus. "Then I walked to Cuba to practice ballet at the Stegosaurus School of Dance, which was the dance of the month in November. I'm practicing for my gig as Count Drosselmeyer in Tschiakovski's The Nutcracker at New York's Radio City Music Hall in December.

I've also been helping the Cubans rebuild after Hurricane Paloma. The damage to the Stegosaurus School of Dance was minimal; I've done more damage to the School inadvertently while dancing the lindy hop, so we were lucky there. The Cubans are resilient and brave people.




Please be sure to come to New York in December and see me ballet! There are two performances:

December 13th 7:30pm; and December 14th 2:00pm.

As always, being practical I accept payment in trees.

From now thru February 15th,Square Dance lessons ( the official dance of Colorado ) are half off at any and all locations of the Stegosaurus School of Dance !

Stegosaurus accepts payment in trees.

Since I posted on this blog the story of my illustrious movie career last month where reference was made to The Stegosaurus School of Dance, many people have asked me about it and how it came to be. Well take a rest a bit. Have some fresh Adder's Tongue ( ophioglossum vulgatum ) on me. It's right from my garden and the last of the season... I'll be glad to tell the tale.

In 1933 as I said I filmed dancing scenes for the RKO film Flying Down To Rio, scenes which were sadly removed from the final cut of the film. However, during this time no less a talent than Mr. Fred Astaire himself gave me compliments on my dancing technique. I was so proud that I blushed; possibly even more than the time that Ginger Rogers kissed me.

You'd think I'd have taken up dancing right away. Why did it take me almost a decade to create the Stegosaurus School of Dance, you ask ? Well let me tell you. It was such a disappointment to me when my scenes were cut that it was some time before I could think of dancing again. Or maybe I just forgot. Since my brain is the size of a walnut I don't have much of a hippocampus. Anyhow, in the 1940's and '50's I was a frequent visitor to the island nation of Cuba. I would visit my friend Fulgencio Battista, who was at that time the President of the Cuban Republic. President Battista was a great man; we'd smoke fine cuban cigars together and discuss socialist and communist ideals. I was always a welcome guest in his home. His lovely wife Marta Fernández de Batista,used to bring me palm fronds to eat; she was such a sweetheart.

On one of my several visits to that island nation, I had the pleasure of also making the aquaintance of the legendary Madame LaZonga and her two latin daughters. It was 1943, and I was given Six Lessons With Madame Lazonga where I developed my hips and my knees. And by the way, she liked me, so the lessons were free.

Her confidence, and the confidence of her lovely daughters re ignighted my love of dance, and I quickly learned the seductive salsa. It was very effective in flirting with Ms. LaZonga's two latin daughters, who were quite adorable, let me tell you. They also taught me the flamenco, the tango, the rhumba, and the new la conga.

After that, through the kindness of President Battista I was given a plot of land where I founded The Stegosaurus School of Dance. It has now been in existence for over 60 years, which isn't very long by the way Stegosaurids measure time, but is very impressive for homo sapiens, apparently. There are satellite locations of my School based in Paris France, ( where my cousin Lexovissaurus lives, ) London England,Vienna Austria, Tokyo Japan, Quebec and Toronto, Canada, and the US States of New York, Virginia and Kentucky. I am on the cusp of opening a location in my native state of Colorado, which I am proud to say will be my first location in the Western part of the US. After that location opens in Boulder, I am looking to expand to Utah, Montana and California as well. It's possible that a location may appear in Portugal; that is being negotiated as we speak.

These are the dances that I teach at the Stegosaurus School of Dance :

All the above mentioned dances, as well as The Lindy Hop, which I love; It's my favorite. Also its derivative The Jitterbug, The Foxtrot, The Waltz, and Ballet.
The Polonaise, The Mazurka, The Galop, The Tarrantella, among others. To stay current I also teach The YMCA dance, and a little bit of improvisational " Rave Dancing ". I do not teach belly dancing, which I have decided to leave to the female Stegosaurids, or the Chicken Dance, which I feel is best left to the specialty of animals known as birds. I like birds and birdwatching, which is why I leave it to them. The Lindy Hop is my favorite dance because I like the idea of flying. I'd really like someday to grow wings and soar away, but I know that will probably never happen.

So that's the tale of the beginnings of the Stegosaurus School of Dance. If you ever decide to take up dancing, let me teach you; we'll have a grand time together !