A Simple Method For Determining The Sex Of Your Pet Stegosaurus
Are you confused about the sex of your pet Stegosaurus?
Well there is an easy method to use for determination that works at least 50 % of the time.
Watch the movie Champion with your pet Stegosaurus.
If your Stegosaurus swoons over Marilyn Maxwell, its a boy.
If your Stegosaurus swoons over Kirk Douglas, its a girl.
If your Stegosaurus swoons over both of these celebrites there is a good chance that your Stegosaurus is bisexual.
Determining homosexuality in Stegosaurids is much more difficult because as a general rule they believe in the don't ask don't tell policy.
This method works 50% of the time, since a majority of Stegosaurids are easily enamoured with celebrity pop culture. Once this happens, it is difficult ( but not impossible ) to get them interested in their own species again.
Good luck!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
"I've been out in California studying trees of the Pacific Coast for college," said Stegosaurus. Wonderful pines, like pinus abicaulis, pinus aristata, and pinus pungens. Not to mention the delicious Pinyons...
Since I've become an arborist I've really come to care about trees not just because they are delicious but because they are unique and beautiful in their own way.
It is on this principle that I've decided I can no longer eat any of the Ginkgoaceae, or the Juglandaceae.
This is a decision which disturbs my poor cousin Lexovissaurus, who when he heard of my decision wrote to say,
"Que-es-ce que tu as?!? Premièrement tu es tombé en amour avec la mammifère Marilyn Maxwell et tu ne considère pas avoir un rendez-vous avec une de ton espèce, et maintenant tu ne veux pas manger certain arbres!?!
Les arbres Ginko sont délicieux, et ils y ont toujours été! Pourquoi tu te réveillerais un matin et décide de ne pas les manger parce que cette espèce d’arbre était là avant que tu laisse ta coquille , c’est au-delà de ma compréhension! J’admets, que ma compréhension est limité, mais qu’en même …… et des noyers! Et que-ce qu’il y a de mal avec des noyers?!! Ils sont délicieux même sans du fromage! Je jure, si tu n’étais pas mon cousin je te frapperais sur la tête avec ma cool, tranchante queue! Cela pourrait mettre du bon sens dans ta tête!"
Since I've become an arborist I've really come to care about trees not just because they are delicious but because they are unique and beautiful in their own way.
It is on this principle that I've decided I can no longer eat any of the Ginkgoaceae, or the Juglandaceae.
This is a decision which disturbs my poor cousin Lexovissaurus, who when he heard of my decision wrote to say,
"Que-es-ce que tu as?!? Premièrement tu es tombé en amour avec la mammifère Marilyn Maxwell et tu ne considère pas avoir un rendez-vous avec une de ton espèce, et maintenant tu ne veux pas manger certain arbres!?!
Les arbres Ginko sont délicieux, et ils y ont toujours été! Pourquoi tu te réveillerais un matin et décide de ne pas les manger parce que cette espèce d’arbre était là avant que tu laisse ta coquille , c’est au-delà de ma compréhension! J’admets, que ma compréhension est limité, mais qu’en même …… et des noyers! Et que-ce qu’il y a de mal avec des noyers?!! Ils sont délicieux même sans du fromage! Je jure, si tu n’étais pas mon cousin je te frapperais sur la tête avec ma cool, tranchante queue! Cela pourrait mettre du bon sens dans ta tête!"
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
"I have been quite busy in my first semester of graduate school," said Stegosaurus. "It's been tough. My first test was on conifers, and I got nervous and overconfident...I thought I'd do a lot better because I've been eating conifers since I came out of my shell...but I got so nervous that I confused the Eastern White Pine ( pinus strobus) and an introduced species, the Austrian Pine, or ( pinus nigra ). It was very embarrassing. My research was faulty, even after more than 140 million years.
Also, my class went on a field trip to identify some gymnosperms, and we identified the Ginko biloba from the Ginkgoaceae ;
Many thought they were delicious, and in my youth I remember them as being quite so; but these days I can't eat them out of principle. I have a lot of respect for a tree species 10 million years older than I am."
Also, my class went on a field trip to identify some gymnosperms, and we identified the Ginko biloba from the Ginkgoaceae ;
Many thought they were delicious, and in my youth I remember them as being quite so; but these days I can't eat them out of principle. I have a lot of respect for a tree species 10 million years older than I am."
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Stegosaurus held a press confrence on Wednesday to announce his endorsement of the Fabri-Kal company. "I have started my second job as an arborist," said Stegosaurus. "....and as a steward of the environment I feel it is important to endorse those corporate entities who share my vision of a clean and green America. I am proud to endorse the Fabri-Kal company for its commitment to environmentally concious products that help reduce waste and preserve trees for future generations of Americans to enjoy and for future generations of hungry Stegosaurids to eat."
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
"My New Year's resolution for 2008 was successful!" exclaimed Stegosaurus happily. "I've lost the last half ton! I feel great! I'm a fit and trim 6,800 tons now! Just where I want to be!"
"The economic situation in the country today has caused me to look at going to medical school," Stegosaurus continued. "It's hard for a Stegosaurus to make a living just in Horticulture Consumption or Hokie Bird Protecting so I am looking to expand my horizons at the Asplundh Tree Management Services Company. Wish me luck!
"The economic situation in the country today has caused me to look at going to medical school," Stegosaurus continued. "It's hard for a Stegosaurus to make a living just in Horticulture Consumption or Hokie Bird Protecting so I am looking to expand my horizons at the Asplundh Tree Management Services Company. Wish me luck!
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