It was a bright midsummer day at the Woolly Mammoth Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival when Mammoth, recovered from his bout with laryngitis announced to Kentrosaurus his plans for summer vacation.

"I have been very impressed with how you handled care for the Church when The Lord saw fit for a time to deprive me of my voice," he said. "Thus, I feel it will be safe to leave the Church in your care as I spend mid August to mid September in Meditation retreat at the ancient Egyptian city of Tannis, known to our Bible as the glorious city of Zion."

"I am honored that you see fit to entrust me with something so important," said Kentrosaurus. "I will do my very best to care for the Church."

"If you do as well as you have during my illness, you will do fine. Ask the Lord to guide you as you stomp about your daily tasks; No day should begin any undertaking without a prayer of intercession to The Most High. Remember this, and you cannot fail. I have faith in you."

With these words, Woolly Mammoth set off for Egypt with such resolution of purpose that he did not look back; such was his faith in the care Kentrosaurus would give the Church.

Kentrosaurus, however was more than a little nervous; moreso than when Mammoth had laryngitis for Mammoth was still at the Church even though he could not speak and his illness was much shorter than his meditation retreat vacation would be. He thought he might visit Widow Ground Sloth and her son Junior, but they were happily in the shade of the forest that he had planted for them; being delighted that his gift had given them such joy he chose not to disturb them and decided to start trimming the grass in the Meditation garden. It was in this activity he was engaged when he received a visit from both Western Black Rhino and Woolly Rhino.

Since the formation of the Cold Weather / Megafauna DIsaster Relief Agency, ( cold weather disaster unit of the Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency ) lonely Western Black Rhino, who has had difficulty in adjusting to a life of extinction, finally found a good friend in Woolly Rhino, who had some 8 to 10 thousand years' experience in being extinct.

"Hail, Kentrosaurus!" said Woolly Rhino. As Kentrosaurus heard the rhinos approaching he came from the Meditation Garden to discover what they wanted; naturally, he began to think of Bible verses he could give a sermon on; he was hopeful that the way he delivered the Word of the Lord God would save some souls today.

"What can I do for you today?" he asked.

"We are passing through on our way to the African Plain in order to visit with Sister Quagga and graze there with her; we thought we might stop for a moment and seek the shade, some water, and your company for a bit, if you are not too busy." said Western Black Rhino.

"But whosoever drinks the water I give will not be thirsty; the water I give will become as a spring gushing up inside that person; giving eternal life.' Gospel of St. John, 4:14," said Kentrosaurus as he led them in the direction of the stream in the Meditation Garden.

"Thank you kindly," said Woolly Rhino, though he thought immediately afterward, 'Alas !! But we are already extinct !!'

"Have you been busy with the Megafauna Disaster Relief Agency?"

"We are at the ready," said Western Black Rhino, "But there is not much call for snow in South Africa, so we have not yet in all this time, been deployed to where we might do good."

As the rhinos drank of the water offered, Kentrosaurus observed, " The time will come, when it is the will of the Lord God."

When the rhinos had had their fill of water, and of politely tolerating Kentrosaurus' recitation of various Bible verses, they said "Thank you." and bid him farewell, leaving the Church and stomping onto the African plains in search of SIster Quagga. They found her where they expected to, in the tall grass where she was most content.

"Greetings Sister Quagga !!" said Western Black Rhino.

"Western Black Rhino ! Woolly Rhino !! How nice to see you both! It is so nice to see you making friends, Western Black Rhino. I know how hard it is adjusting to extinction the first few years."

"Extinction isn't something you get over, you just learn how to live with it and build a life around no longer having a life." said Western Black Rhino.

"And I have a new friend after I have been extinct for 8 to 10 thousand years," said Woolly Rhino. "We have so much in common!"

"Would you mind if we helped you graze and trim the grass of the plains?" asked Western Black Rhino.

"I would be delighted for the company," said Sister Quagga; "Please do! Let us make this a festive occasion !!"

"Sister Quagga is always so festive, " Western Black Rhino told Woolly Rhino.

"I must keep the plains trimmed; their true festive glory shines through when the grass is trimmed and you can see for miles," said Sister Quagga.

The three friends set to their task, and before long came upon a tree, which had African Ground Pangolin hanging by his tail from one of its branches.

"Hello, there!" said African Ground Pangolin.

"Hello, African Ground Pangolin," said Sister Quagga. "How are you this fine day?"

"I am very well ! In fact, I think I should live up to my name and come down from this tree," said African Ground Pangolin, who subsequently let go of the branch he was on, grasped the tree trunk, and clambered down the tree to the ground.

"I recognize Western Black Rhino," said African Ground Pangolin, "But who is his Woolly Friend?"

"I am named Woolly Rhino, and I am pleased to meet you, little fellow."

"How apt," observed African Ground Pangolin. "I am pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Here we are trimming the African Plains, having a relaxing evening just passing through. I hope we have not disturbed you," said Woolly Rhino.

"Not at all, I am very happy to have the company." said African Ground Pangolin. "If I don't feel up to visiting, I will simply curl into a ball and hide. You will never see me when I am camouflaged."

"How fare you of late, good friend?" asked Sister Quagga.

"Personally, I am very well," said African Ground Pangolin. "I am overall concerned about still being a critically endangered species; I do not want to become extinct such as you are, ( no offense ), so I am trying my best and hanging in there. That's why I as hanging from that tree just now."

"I see," said Western Black Rhino.

"Have you seen our friend Spinosaurus, who saved me and our friend Ms. Giraffe from the poachers ?"

"We are very careful around Spinosaurus," said Sister Quagga. "I know he helped you out, and he served with me in the little known Battle of Humboldt Museum, but he is the largest land predator in prehistory, so we are very careful because we never know when his natural instincts may take over, and we may become his lunch. A prospect I don't fancy, even if I am already extinct."

"Understandable," said African Ground Pangolin.

After this point, African Ground Pangolin asked Woolly Rhino if he might climb up and rest upon his back while he grazed with his friends.

"Of course you may," said Woolly Rhino.

Thus, until late in the day, the three friends grazed on the African Plains. Woolly Rhino and Western Black Rhino took their leave of Sister Quagga and returned to the Woolly Mammoth Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival; African Ground Pangolin jumped from Woolly Rhino's back onto the back of Sister Quagga where he continued to relax, in time she returned him to the tree where he was found, and he slept in his nearby burrow after a nice meal of ants.

Western Black Rhino and Woolly Rhino again enjoyed the company of Kentrosaurus, who, expecting their return had gathered a meal for them all to enjoy, and they remained in such repast through the night, enjoying each others' company.

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"What is this?" asked Stegosaurus. "Why, this looks like a cake! It must be my birthday again; it is the only time I see a cake about. This year I am 140 Million and 14 years old. Cakes are not as good as Picea pungens, or a nice aloe plant, but they are a birthday tradition; I remember when they were invented, too. Cakes are an odd invention; it takes no plants to make a cake, really. In many ways I prefer pies ... pies often have fruit in them a lot more often than cakes do. BUT, especially at 140 Million and 14, I am a creature of tradition set in all my ways. So, knowing that cakes are traditional, I always default to the most widely known birthday tradition, and that tradition is cake."

"I hope you are having as great a day as I am; I am in my cave resting my claws after my long trip to England, so I have nothing to do today except celebrate my birthday. I hope you take the time to celebrate and appreciate your birthday. I am very skilled in the celebration of birthdays; I have done this celebrating well over 140 million times, so I know how to do it. It isn't hard to forget how, even with a brain the size of a walnut. If you are in town please stop by my cave and say hi. I am always open to visitors and meeting new friends. We are sure to have many adventures together!"

In mid May near the time for finals of the Spring semester, my class and I got on our rafts and floated forthrightly to the country of England as we were required to eat the trees of England for our final grade.

I thought it was an ideal time to visit my British friend Iguanodon, who was excited to hear of my arrival in his land. I did not visit with him at first, feeling obligated to take care of my studies with my classmates. Together we found a nice grove of Frangula alnus which we all enjoyed, though we were disappointed to be there too early to enjoy the fruits the trees bear in the later months of the summer. We were however, just in time to enjoy the delicious flowers that precede them. We have some of these trees in North America, introduced by mammals, but it is not common. My cousin Wuerhosaurus knows of it as it grows in parts of China; but my class and I found our grove in a lovely Sussex bog not far from the home of Iguanodon.


Next we stomped around until we found a flowery grove of Fraxinus ornus, a favorite treat of my cousin Kentrosaurus, who never fails to remind me of the reference the tree has in his Bible.

I will say that the manna advertised in that Bible is quite wonderful to eat, as well as the tree's numerous flowers. I was going to be content to reach for the lower branches, perhaps standing on my hind legs briefly to reach a select few higher up; but that was the extent to which I was willing to go. But then, one of my classmates decided to knock down a 49 foot tree with his cool, spiky tail, and we all joined in after eating the leaves and flowers that fell from the tree when it hit the ground. I decided I had to come back here with Iguanodon and share some of this Fraxinus ornus with him. I wondered how it would taste combined with Citrus bergamia. As it turned out, we all did get a few points marked off for knocking down the tree, but I admit it was worth it; that was one delicious tree.

The last tree that my class and I were required to find was one of my favorites; it was Chamaecyparis lawsoniana, which I enjoy so much because as a conifer, it reminds me of some of the extinct trees of my youth, when I was barely out of my shell. It was also introduced to the British Isles by mammals sometime last week, or perhaps around 1854. The goal for the class was to find an American tree which had been introduced in Europe, and we were successful !! The Chamaecyparis lawsoniana is native to the Western United States, being parts of Washington State and California. Now sadly this wonderfully delicious tree is under threat by Phytophthora lateralis, a terrible root disease, and my hope is that when I graduate with my Doctorate in tree disease I will be able to keep this species of tree alive.

Now we could go home to Colorado, but I wanted to visit Iguanodon, and upon hearing of my plan, my classmates asked to be sure of my location so that I would not be left behind. We all wanted to leave England together.

Thus, I did not depart England on schedule; but instead left our swamp in search of Iguanodon. It had been a while since I had visited with him, but we put our small brains together, and made an educated guess as to his location. While my classmates decided to remain behind and eat some more, I went on to the city of London, particularly the borough of Bromley where there are some monuments to dinosaurs, erected last week, or maybe just after the mammals discovered us. These are known as the Crystal Palace Dinosaurs, and the place is sometimes called Dinosaur Court. I know for a fact that Iguanodon frequents that place since it was declared off limits to mammals in recent years.

I did find him indeed, grazing by his quite inaccurate Momument; If mammals see us, we will just stand very still, and they will, in spite of their larger brains, think we are one of the statues.

"Hail, Iguanodon! It is I, Stegosaurus! How goes things for you?"

"Stegosaurus!" exclaimed my fellow herbivore. "What a nice surprise! It has been so long since I have seen you!"

"Yes, indeed! I apologize for taking so long to visit you, old friend !! I hope I find you very well! I am here with my college class studying our finals and thought I'd take an opportunity to visit with you."

" How kind of you to travel all the way from Colorado USA, " said Iguanodon. I am in one of my favorite spots, next to a Monument that a nice mammal, Benjamin Waterhouse Hawkins sculpted for me in the year 1854."

"It does not look anything like you," said Stegosaurus.

"I know, but it is still quite charming, and I do like it very much," rejoined Iguanodon. "It is very unfortunate you are not represented here."

"Ah, but I was not yet discovered by mammals in 1854; and I have many Monuments in my native land of Colorado. I was discovered early enough that the mammals consider me a "classic" dinosaur, whatever that means; but you and the others represented here, you are the real trailblazers. "

I told my friend of the trees that my classmate and I had already consumed. We both expressed concern over the root disease afflicting the Chamaecyparis lawsoniana, and I asked him what trees and foliage he had enjoyed lately.

"Sometimes I dine at Epppings Forest or Oxley's Wood; at times I stomp over to Lincolnshire to visit the Bowthorpe Oak but I don't dare eat any of it out of respect for the fact that it is 1,000 years old."

"You have a lot of acres here, " observed Stegosaurus.

"Yes, 200 in fact," said Iguanodon. "Why, I can fondly remember when this area was nothing but Quercus dalechampii trees."

"Let us go stomp forthrightly to the Stambourne Woods and see if there are any Quercus dalechampii to eat. After mentioning the Bowthorpe I am really craving some oak, but like you don't want to eat THAT particular oak out of the deepest respect for its age."

Iguanodon and I went right away to the Stambourne woods, which are part of Crystal Palace Park and heartily ate some Quercus dalechampii we found there.

We ate some of the Fraxinus ornus I had been so excited about. We dined on Caprifoliaceae , Primula polyantha, and Lysimachia nemorum. I particularly enjoyed the varieties that I cannot readily find in the States.

I asked Iguanodon,

"You seem well set here, friend. How have things been of late? I apologize for not staying in touch more often."

"No worries, friend Stegosaurus. I take no offense to your absence though it is quite good to see you. I content myself to dine here at the Crystal Palace; sometimes I go to the swamp in Sussex, just North of here where you studied with your classmates. I've been taking a low profile in very recent years. It seems the paleo artists don't draw or paint me as much as they used to in years past. It bothered me at first, but I relaxed after a time and adjusted to my lower profile status. Sometimes I speak with other dinosaurs represented here if they feel so inclined to visit; particularly Megalosaurus, who in spite of being a carnivore is rather laid back and not as much a threat to me as one might think at first. I think the fact that he's still not fully discovered even though he was the first dinosaur discovered weighs heavily on him, and has given him a sense of humility not usually seen in our carnivore friends. I've really gotten into landscaping around here and it turns out that I really enjoy that line of work. So that is how I keep myself busy."

"I am so glad to hear it, and I promise to visit you more often henceforth, and I hope you will someday come to America and visit me in Colorado. It is now time, though, I am sorry to say for me to reconnect with my class and float forthrightly home; we've all agreed to depart together."

"Very well, my old friend," said Iguanodon. "I promise that I will visit with you, and we will eat some lovely Picea pungens together. It has been awhile since I have had Picea pungens and you know they go so well with Citrus bergamia. I am British, and I do love my tea."

Thus, I bid Iguanodon farewell, returned to the Sussex swamp where I met my classmates, and we all returned to the United States without any incident. I had a lovely visit, and as it turns out passed my final exam on the trees of England. We got some points taken off, yes, but it was also noted that I had observed the root disease of the Chamaecyparis lawsoniana, and I am content.

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