In mid May near the time for finals of the Spring semester, my class and I got on our rafts and floated forthrightly to the country of England as we were required to eat the trees of England for our final grade.

I thought it was an ideal time to visit my British friend Iguanodon, who was excited to hear of my arrival in his land. I did not visit with him at first, feeling obligated to take care of my studies with my classmates. Together we found a nice grove of Frangula alnus which we all enjoyed, though we were disappointed to be there too early to enjoy the fruits the trees bear in the later months of the summer. We were however, just in time to enjoy the delicious flowers that precede them. We have some of these trees in North America, introduced by mammals, but it is not common. My cousin Wuerhosaurus knows of it as it grows in parts of China; but my class and I found our grove in a lovely Sussex bog not far from the home of Iguanodon.


Next we stomped around until we found a flowery grove of Fraxinus ornus, a favorite treat of my cousin Kentrosaurus, who never fails to remind me of the reference the tree has in his Bible.

I will say that the manna advertised in that Bible is quite wonderful to eat, as well as the tree's numerous flowers. I was going to be content to reach for the lower branches, perhaps standing on my hind legs briefly to reach a select few higher up; but that was the extent to which I was willing to go. But then, one of my classmates decided to knock down a 49 foot tree with his cool, spiky tail, and we all joined in after eating the leaves and flowers that fell from the tree when it hit the ground. I decided I had to come back here with Iguanodon and share some of this Fraxinus ornus with him. I wondered how it would taste combined with Citrus bergamia. As it turned out, we all did get a few points marked off for knocking down the tree, but I admit it was worth it; that was one delicious tree.

The last tree that my class and I were required to find was one of my favorites; it was Chamaecyparis lawsoniana, which I enjoy so much because as a conifer, it reminds me of some of the extinct trees of my youth, when I was barely out of my shell. It was also introduced to the British Isles by mammals sometime last week, or perhaps around 1854. The goal for the class was to find an American tree which had been introduced in Europe, and we were successful !! The Chamaecyparis lawsoniana is native to the Western United States, being parts of Washington State and California. Now sadly this wonderfully delicious tree is under threat by Phytophthora lateralis, a terrible root disease, and my hope is that when I graduate with my Doctorate in tree disease I will be able to keep this species of tree alive.

Now we could go home to Colorado, but I wanted to visit Iguanodon, and upon hearing of my plan, my classmates asked to be sure of my location so that I would not be left behind. We all wanted to leave England together.

Thus, I did not depart England on schedule; but instead left our swamp in search of Iguanodon. It had been a while since I had visited with him, but we put our small brains together, and made an educated guess as to his location. While my classmates decided to remain behind and eat some more, I went on to the city of London, particularly the borough of Bromley where there are some monuments to dinosaurs, erected last week, or maybe just after the mammals discovered us. These are known as the Crystal Palace Dinosaurs, and the place is sometimes called Dinosaur Court. I know for a fact that Iguanodon frequents that place since it was declared off limits to mammals in recent years.

I did find him indeed, grazing by his quite inaccurate Momument; If mammals see us, we will just stand very still, and they will, in spite of their larger brains, think we are one of the statues.

"Hail, Iguanodon! It is I, Stegosaurus! How goes things for you?"

"Stegosaurus!" exclaimed my fellow herbivore. "What a nice surprise! It has been so long since I have seen you!"

"Yes, indeed! I apologize for taking so long to visit you, old friend !! I hope I find you very well! I am here with my college class studying our finals and thought I'd take an opportunity to visit with you."

" How kind of you to travel all the way from Colorado USA, " said Iguanodon. I am in one of my favorite spots, next to a Monument that a nice mammal, Benjamin Waterhouse Hawkins sculpted for me in the year 1854."

"It does not look anything like you," said Stegosaurus.

"I know, but it is still quite charming, and I do like it very much," rejoined Iguanodon. "It is very unfortunate you are not represented here."

"Ah, but I was not yet discovered by mammals in 1854; and I have many Monuments in my native land of Colorado. I was discovered early enough that the mammals consider me a "classic" dinosaur, whatever that means; but you and the others represented here, you are the real trailblazers. "

I told my friend of the trees that my classmate and I had already consumed. We both expressed concern over the root disease afflicting the Chamaecyparis lawsoniana, and I asked him what trees and foliage he had enjoyed lately.

"Sometimes I dine at Epppings Forest or Oxley's Wood; at times I stomp over to Lincolnshire to visit the Bowthorpe Oak but I don't dare eat any of it out of respect for the fact that it is 1,000 years old."

"You have a lot of acres here, " observed Stegosaurus.

"Yes, 200 in fact," said Iguanodon. "Why, I can fondly remember when this area was nothing but Quercus dalechampii trees."

"Let us go stomp forthrightly to the Stambourne Woods and see if there are any Quercus dalechampii to eat. After mentioning the Bowthorpe I am really craving some oak, but like you don't want to eat THAT particular oak out of the deepest respect for its age."

Iguanodon and I went right away to the Stambourne woods, which are part of Crystal Palace Park and heartily ate some Quercus dalechampii we found there.

We ate some of the Fraxinus ornus I had been so excited about. We dined on Caprifoliaceae , Primula polyantha, and Lysimachia nemorum. I particularly enjoyed the varieties that I cannot readily find in the States.

I asked Iguanodon,

"You seem well set here, friend. How have things been of late? I apologize for not staying in touch more often."

"No worries, friend Stegosaurus. I take no offense to your absence though it is quite good to see you. I content myself to dine here at the Crystal Palace; sometimes I go to the swamp in Sussex, just North of here where you studied with your classmates. I've been taking a low profile in very recent years. It seems the paleo artists don't draw or paint me as much as they used to in years past. It bothered me at first, but I relaxed after a time and adjusted to my lower profile status. Sometimes I speak with other dinosaurs represented here if they feel so inclined to visit; particularly Megalosaurus, who in spite of being a carnivore is rather laid back and not as much a threat to me as one might think at first. I think the fact that he's still not fully discovered even though he was the first dinosaur discovered weighs heavily on him, and has given him a sense of humility not usually seen in our carnivore friends. I've really gotten into landscaping around here and it turns out that I really enjoy that line of work. So that is how I keep myself busy."

"I am so glad to hear it, and I promise to visit you more often henceforth, and I hope you will someday come to America and visit me in Colorado. It is now time, though, I am sorry to say for me to reconnect with my class and float forthrightly home; we've all agreed to depart together."

"Very well, my old friend," said Iguanodon. "I promise that I will visit with you, and we will eat some lovely Picea pungens together. It has been awhile since I have had Picea pungens and you know they go so well with Citrus bergamia. I am British, and I do love my tea."

Thus, I bid Iguanodon farewell, returned to the Sussex swamp where I met my classmates, and we all returned to the United States without any incident. I had a lovely visit, and as it turns out passed my final exam on the trees of England. We got some points taken off, yes, but it was also noted that I had observed the root disease of the Chamaecyparis lawsoniana, and I am content.

Au mois de février, Stégosaurus a décidé de passer du temps au Canada pour rendre visite à son ami Styracosaurus. Il a rappelé que son comptable Corythosaures avait remarqué l'été dernier que Styracosaurus l'avait invité au Canada pour manger des caféiers. En outre, Stégosaurus avait rassemblé une belle Acer negundo quand il était en visite en Géorgie, aux États-Unis pour la Thanksgiving, et il voulait la donner en cadeau à Styracosaurus.

Il est donc monté sur son radeau et a flotté directement au Canada où Styracosaurus l'a rencontré en Alberta.

"Salut et bienvenue, mon ami Stégosaure !"dit Styracosaurus avec exubérance. "Corythosaures m'a dit que vous comptiez me rendre visite bientôt et je suis tellement heureux de vous voir. Ça fait longtemps que j’ai trouvé ces belles plantes de café pour vous. J'espère que vous apprécierez votre visite au Canada. Nous allons avoir un grand temps."

"Je suis heureux d'être ici et heureux de vous voir", a déclaré Stégosaure. "J'ai passé la Thanksgiving en Géorgie et je t'ai apporté un cadeau. C'est un joli spécimen D'Acer negundo et j'espère que vous l'aimerez."

"Je suis absolument ravi, Stégosaure !!! Merci !!!!!! C’est gentil !"dit Styracosaurus.

"Voulez-vous manger maintenant ?"

"Je pense que j'aimerais le planter et le laisser pousser. Ils sont assez copieux et grandissent rapidement. Dans un court laps de temps, j'ai plus qu'un, je pourrais avoir un joli bosquet d'entre eux dans quelques années."

"J'admire votre retenue, Styracosaurus. Vous avez toujours été plus d'un défenseur de l'environnement."

"Viens, Stégosaure. Allons planter L'Acer negundo et ensuite nous commencerons avec un joli Pinus banksia na avant de passer aux plants de café."

Les deux bons amis ont trouvé un Pinus banksia na excellent et mature que Stégosaurus a trouvé tout à fait délicieux.

"Je devrais manger Pinus banksia na plus souvent. C'est vraiment bon. Vous savez vraiment comment faire pousser des arbres au Canada", a déclaré Stégosaurus.

Puis les deux amis ont continué à consommer leur plat principal de plantes de café, (que Styracosaurus avait fait importer de Columbia) et Stégosaurus a pensé à demander à propos de son comptable Corythosaures.

"J'ai invité Corythosaures à dîner avec nous", a déclaré Styracosaurus, mais il ne peut pas le faire pour le moment, car c'est la saison des impôts."

"Corythosaures est toujours si occupé. J'admire l'habileté avec laquelle il exerce sa profession. Il est vraiment intelligent, et il fait un bon pain."

"Je n'ai jamais eu de pain cuit par Corythosaurus. “dit Styracosaurus.

"Il ne fait pas toujours du pain, Mais quand il le fait, c'est très bon. dit Stégosaure. "Alors, comment les choses se sont-elles passées au Canada ?"

"Les choses sont très bien, Stégosaure. Je me suis concentré sur le bosquet de Pinus banksia na que nous venons de manger et les caféiers ; donc je n'ai pas du tout suivi ce que les mammifères font ici.

De mon observation il n’a pas de météores qui tombent du ciel ici, donc tout doit être bien", a déclaré Styracosaurus.

J'ai ensuite raconté à Styracosaurus la malheureuse mésaventure que Congressaurus Triceratops et moi avons eu avec les concombres.

"Très malheureux", dit Styracosaurus, essayant poliment de ne pas rire. "Je suis sûr que si vous l'avez déjà fait, vous pouvez le faire à nouveau. N'abandonnez pas !"

Ensuite, nous avons trouvé un joli bosquet D'Abies balsamea. Styracosaurus a dit : "Oh ! Regarde ! Abies balsamea !!!! Saviez-vous que l'Abies balsamea ne représente que 3% des résineux de l'Alberta ? Un vrai régal ! J'insiste, Stégosaure, les invités d'abord."

"Merci, Styracosaurus, c'est très gentil de votre part." J'ai observé en peu de temps" l'Abies balsamea est en effet assez délicieux. Merci bien."

"Rien de tel nulle part ailleurs dans le monde, mais ce n'est pas tout ce que nous avons ici."

"Allons-nous manger tous les arbres au Canada ?"

"Non, imaginez ce que cela ferait à la nappe phréatique. De plus ce serait impoli."

"Vous avez un point."

"Bien que planter des arbres à ce moment-là serait un excellent travail pour l’aide de l'agence de secours en cas de catastrophe, Stégosaurus."

Ensuite, nous avons divisé entre nous un couple de Corycus cornu ta."

"J'aime parfois manger le Corycus cornu ta avec des plantes de café", a déclaré Styracosaurus.

"Je préfère mes plantes de café droites", a déclaré Stégosaurus. "Mais c'est encore mieux que les stupides mammifères qui moulent et brassent les grains de plantes de café.

"Un mystère mammifère. “a observé Styracosaurus.

"Je pense toujours que mouler et brasser des plantes de café sera une mode de courte durée. Je pense que seulement une moule d'un million d'années."

"Nous avons terminé notre repas le premier jour avec un bon repas de Pinus contorta, qui représente 41% du stock de conifères en Alberta. Je plaisantais à propos de manger tous les arbres au Canada, mais il est vrai que ce que Styracosaurus et moi faisions est une faveur à la ville. L'un de mes emplois à la maison est la gestion forestière, et doit être bien fait, il est bon et sain pour la croissance de la forêt de ne pas la laisser envahir. Ce n'était pas ma seule visite. Styracosaurus m'a invité à profiter de son hospitalité tout au long du mois de février. Une invitation pour laquelle j’étais très heureux."

Stegosaurus decided that he was going to spend some time in China visiting his cousin Wuerhosaurus. When Kentrosaurus found out about the trip, he asked to come as well, since he had never been to China. Stegosaurus agreed to pick him up along the way, so he got on his raft and floated forthrightly to Johannesburg, South Africa to meet Kentrosaurus. When Stegosaurus arrived, Kentrosaurus said,
"Hail, good cousin! I am glad you are here and look forward to spending time with you and Wuerhosaurus in the Country of China! May God bless and protect us on our journey! Have you heard if Lexovissaurus and his lovely wife Loricatosaurus are coming?"

"I asked, " said Stegosaurus, "... and the answer was 'No.' This spring is Loricatosaurus' last semester at Oxford, and since she is studying hard she does not have time for travel. Lexovissaurus is reluctant to leave for China ... he said he'd rather visit England since his wife is there and he'd like to see her graduate. He said he would be likely to make it to China some year when his wife is there digging around looking for herself somewhere."
"I am sorry to hear that they will not be with us, I was looking forward to seeing them," said Kentrosaurus. "Let's get started on our journey. I have checked with Woolly Mammoth, and he knows of and has approved my time off at the Church."
"Very well, " said Stegosaurus. "We do indeed have a long way to go." And thus, the journey began. But they hadn't floated very far at all, when on the Niger River Delta specifically the Escravos River they saw their sauropod friend Nigersaurus.
"Hail, Nigersaurus!" exclaimed Stegosaurus. "I hope you are doing well!"
"I am, friend Stegosaurus, Kentrosaurus. I see you are floating on your raft; where do you travel? Stegosaurids are generally not seafaring types .... it must be important for you to get on a raft."
"We are headed to China to visit cousin Wuerhosaurus!!" said Kentrosaurus. "God be praised for protecting us on our long journey to the Orient!"
"Would you like to come with us, Nigersaurus?" asked Stegosaurus. "You are certainly more than welcome to come along."
"Thank you for the offer, but no. The sun is out and I'm really of a mind to stay in this Lazy River in the noonday sun, the Lazy, lazy River where I can linger in the shade of a kind old tree, and then later when I'm hungry eat the top off of it."*
"Very well! Best of the day to you, Nigersaurus! Enjoy your shade, your trees, and your body of water!" said Stegosaurus.
"I will see you when I return," said Kentrosaurus. "God be with you."

Stegosaurus and Kentrosaurus floated forthrightly on the water for a very long time afterward; after many days travel they arrived at Macau, China, the Western side of the Pearl River Delta.
"Here is China," observed Stegosaurus.
"The Lord Jesus Christ be praised; we have safely arrived!" Exclaimed Kentrosaurus with joy. Then, with a pause, "It looks much like any other populated city, but that the boats are slower."
"There's a lot more to it than that," assured Stegosaurus.
"Let us go at once to find Wuerhosaurus," said Kentrosaurus. "I am sure he will be willing to act as our tour guide."
"He is supposed to meet us here in Macau," said Stegosaurus.
"I am sure he will arrive anon," said Kentrosaurus. "In the meantime, look at these beautiful flowers I've just noticed on the side of the road. I'm famished after such a long journey; let us dine."
"That is the Nelumbo nucifera; you are right it has been along journey and we are both very hungry and tired as well, but we cannot eat this flower because..." Stegosaurus was then interrupted.
"That's right! You must not eat that flower!" some one exclaimed. The two hungry Stegosaurids looked up to see their cousin Wuerhosaurus.
"The Nelumbo nucifera is the official flower of the city of Macau. It is also the official State flower of the countries of India and Vietnam. It would be incredibly disrespectful to eat it," said Wuerhosaurus.
"I am sorry to greet you with such a stern warning, but it was important, I assure you. Welcome, cousins! It is so nice to see you both. I am pleased to see you have arrived safely. Come with me. I will give you something that you can eat with out offending the majority of the populace. You must be very hungry indeed after such a long journey."
"Cousin Wuerhosaurus! I am so glad to see you!" said Kentrosaurus.
"No offense taken." assured Stegosaurus. "You are after all native to this land, and know the local customs. Also, you are our guide and we will defer to you on matters of proper protocol."
"Come with me, " said Wuerhosaurus. "Visit my cave, and I will make you both a nice dinner. Yes, Kentrosaurus, you may say grace beforehand."
"Thank you, cousin," said Kentrosaurus.

So it was that the three Stegosaurids stomped to a nearby cave, where a hearty meal was prepared by Wuerhosaurus. "Enjoy," encouraged Wuerhosaurus. "This is not my home cave," said Wuerhosaurus. "Later we shall all travel by slow boat for my home in Tibet. I left my native land of Xinjiang years ago because the climate and temperament of the natives in Tibet agreed with me. No one bothers me coming or going into or out of Tibet; the problems that the mammals have created for themselves, the politics of the region do not affect me; I may come and go as I please."
"How very pleasant," observed Stegosaurus.
"Wuerhosaurus prepared a hearty vegetarian meal for his cousins which consisted of the popular vegetarian dish "Buddah's Delight"; a side dish of almond cake and ginger milk. The Buddah's Delight dish consisted of these main ingredients: Bamboo Shoots, Black Mushrooms, Water Chestnuts, Fried Tofu, Bok Choi, Snow Peas, Carrots, Wood ear, Wheat gluten, Peanuts, Napa Cabbage, Bracken fern tips, and Cauliflower. The Ginkgo nuts were not used, out of respect for Stegosaurus' reverence for that tree, but replaced with Chinese celery. When the food was presented, with permission Kentrosaurus began his prayer thus:

"Dear Lord Jesus, we thank you for this food which we are about to receive, which is but one of the blessings you have given us this fine day. Stegosaurus and I are grateful for the friendship and camaraderie of our cousin Wuerhosaurus who is a gracious host. We pray you bless this cave and its inhabitant, all of his land, and all of his life, and we are grateful for this day as any day on this wonderful world you have made and given us, upon which we have lived for millions of years. Amen, Amen, Amen."
"Thank you, Kentrosaurus," said Wuerhosaurus. "Now I will share with you the prayer that we Buddists pray before dinner."
With that, Wuerhosuarus chanted "Om, Ah, Hum" three times, took a deep breath, and then he said:

"Guru is Buddha, Guru is Dharma,
Guru is Sangha also.
Guru is the originator of all (goodness and happiness).
To all Gurus, I make this offering.

You, whose body was formed by a million perfect virtues,
Whose speech fulfils the hopes of all beings,
Whose mind perceives all that is to be known,
To the prince of the Shakyas I make this offering.

The supreme teacher, the precious Buddha,
The supreme practice, the holy precious Dharma,
The supreme guide, the precious Sangha,
To all of the objects of refuge, I make this offering.

May we and those around us, in all future lives,
Never be separated from the Three Jewels,
Continuously make offerings to the Three Jewels,
And receive the inspiration of the Three Jewels.

Om, Ah, Hum."

After which, the three Stegosaurids ate happily; and then after dinner Wuerhosaurus performed a short ceremony. Having gathered some water in a bowl, he said: "Cousins, if you'd like, please visualize with me, the deity Yeshe Karda above, flowing nectar from his body into this bowl of water." and then he recited the heart mantra of Yeshe Karda, "OM JNANA AVALOKITE SAMANTA PARANA RAMI BAWA SAMAYA MAHA MANI DURU DURU HRIH DAYA JALANI SOHA!" Then, Wuerhosaurus discarded the water in the bowl as an offering, gathered more water, and repeated the mantra seven times. Then, he recited the following prayer:

“This ocean of water appears as nectar to all the pretas that the omniscient mind sees. All the pretas see it as an ocean of milk, they drink it and are fully satisfied. It liberates them from all sufferings, including the specific sufferings of the pretas, causes of delusion, karma, and defilements. These are all purified and they actualize the whole path to enlightenment.”

"This is divine food," Wuerhosaurus continued; all who drink it, all who live in it are blessed and purified to achieve a higher rebirth. Each preta who receives this word will be blessed, and his or her hunger shall be fully satisfied; their rebirth shall be on a higher plane, their advancement secured."

"Excuse me for asking," said Stegosaurus, but what is a preta?"

"I will gladly explain to you the knowledge you seek," said Wuerhosaurus. "The pretas are the deceased; they are supernatural beings that cannot be seen on this plane except in certain cases where one's mental state is removed from this reality. They are, therefore for the most part invisible to us, but they suffer greatly the perils of metaphysical, or spiritual starvation. They are, without this blessing prevented from achieving knowledge of and advancement to the higher planes of existence."

"So, this is an effort to help them along their spiritual journey?" asked Kentrosaurus.

"Yes, cousin. Yes, it is." said Wuerhosaurus. Then he said, "Come, cousins. Let us enjoy the New Year festival. I have knowledge that a public parade is about to begin, and we can all take part in it. I am so glad you are come here to celebrate with me. February 8th marked the Chinese year of the Monkey, which, by our lunar calendar is the year 4714. Let us go out and mingle among the mammals; we'll fit right in at the Dragon festival I believe."

The three Stegosaurids stomped out of the cave where they had their repast til they arrived again at the city of Mancau. As night fell and the moon appeared in view, they then saw a parade of mammals coming anon down the street who were celebrating the festival of the Dragon, and as Wuerhosaurus predicted they fit right in. Accompanied by a fireworks display, they paraded down the street with some of the Macanese climbing up on their backs. A group of Macanese mammals danced as they carried the traditional Dragon made of paper and silk through the streets, even beside the Stegosaurids. It was very loud, but colourful, and everyone involved enjoyed themselves immensely.

The very next morning all three Stegosaurids got into Wuerhosaurus' slow boat and floated slowly, yet forthrightly to the land of Tibet, in order to visit Wuerhosarurus' adopted homeland. "Welcome to the largest port in all of Tibet," said Wuerhosaurus. "This is known as the land of Zham. From here the country exports goods to Nepal in India. I moved here because the climate is subtropical. I'm sure we all agree this situation is ideal." Stegosaurus and Kentrosaurus nodded.
When the boat reached land, the three Stegosaurids gladly exited the boat and then stomped up a fair bit of rocky hill side until they reached a small, unassuming cave roughly a mile up from the seashore.

"Welcome to my humble abode, cousins!" said Wuerhosaurus. "It isn't much, but I like it. I would be pleased if you'd accept some butter tea, which is a traditional drink of hospitality here in Tibet.

"Of course, we'd be honored," said Kentrosaurus, speaking for his cousin ... which Stegosaurus didn't object to, because it was polite, and besides that he was thirsty after the long, slow journey.
"I've been working on brewing this tea for the last half day," said Wuerhosaurus. "It should be ready about now, since I started this morning. After it was done steeping, I added some salt, strained it, added the butter, and churned it to the proper consistency. Then it was transferred to this copper pot here, and kept warm over coals."

"How long has this been the tradition in your country?" asked Kentrosaurus.

"Between the 10th and 13th centuries, which is a long time for mammals," observed Wuerhosaurus.
"I see some Juniperus, of the family Cupressaceae," observed Stegosaurus. "Do you mind if I eat some of it?"
"You may have some," said Wuerhosaurus. "..... but this wood has been gathered here in order that it be burned to please the God of the house. The God of the house is pho-lha, and he protects this abode." Thus, shortly the room was shortly filled with the pleasant smell of burning wood, and all three decided to enjoy a meal of Juniper with their butter tea as they relaxed and enjoyed the company of each other.


* lyrics to "( up a ) Lazy River" by Sidney Arodin and Hoagy Carmichael, 1930.

"At the end of another semester of college, as I was bidding my classmates farewell for another summer, I began to reflect on this amazing life I am living," said Stegosaurus. "I know it does not seem like it, but soon I will be 140 million and 8! 140 million and 8! What a long time to be stomping around, you know?"

"I got to thinking, of all the mammals and other animals that have been around the last few million years... they're really nice and all, but I'm really starting to feel lonesome for somebody I can talk to, who I can relate to that isn't also ..... extinct. Today's animals are interesting in their own way, but I really don't know anyone today who is odd and prehistoric like."

"It took me a few days of thinking, 'Where can I find any kind of animal that is that suitably weird?' ... and then, it hit me. I knew: AUSTRALIA. Thus, I got on my raft and floated forthrightly first to eastern Australia, and then to Tasmania. Once there, within a short time, I met a nice fellow by the name of Platypus."

Platypus waddled up from the river to the shore in order to converse with Stegosaurus. He said, "G'day, friend Stegosaurus! What brings you all the way to Australia?"

"I got to reflecting," said Stegosaurus, "I thought as much as somebody who has a brain the size of a walnut can think, and concluded that I really hadn't talked to anyone who was odd and prehistoric like in a long, long time."

"Well, I am glad that you came to visit me," said Platypus, but you have yet some odd animals in America. What about the Horseshoe Crab? Or in the Indian Ocean, the Coelacanth? They're both older than you, I'd daresay, mate."

"True, true," conceded Stegosaurus. "But alas, they are seafaring animals to such an extent that they aren't around much for conversation."

"I see," said Platypus.

"While you yourself spend some time in water, you are also quite capable of living on land. Can't say that of Coelacanth, particularly. Are you suitably weird and prehistoric like? I hope so!" said Stegosaurus.

"It so happens that I pride myself on being quite odd," said Platypus. "Truth be told, my oddness seems quite normal to me. Perhaps other species of animals are weird and I'm normal."

" A very good point, Platypus," said Stegosaurus. "I suppose I really shouldn't point claws, being a Stegosaurus."

"No offense taken, friend Stegosaurus," said Platypus. "Let me tell you about my characteristics."

"Now when I do swim, I swim with my eyes closed, and use my bill to sense the location of other animals. It has electro - receptors which pick up the movements of those around me. This is a characteristic which is exclusive to me and my friend Echinda; we're a type of animal referred to as monotremes. If you'd like, I can introduce you to him. He's quite the pleasant chap. Another difference that monotremes have from other mammals is that My jaw structure and ear structure is different from other mammals as well."

"I usually dine on things like worms and shrimps. They are very delicious, I think, but I never dine underwater. I gather them in my cheeks, and then surface to eat my meal. My feet are webbed, like a duck's, but when I walk on land, I have a lizard's gait, not unlike you. I have some spurs on my back feet that contain a very strong venom. I don't kill large mammals with it, its just meant to hurt a lot. So don't upset me, otherwise you could be in a lot of pain for several months."

"I'll try not to," said Stegosaurus. "You give me the impression that you are quite mild mannered."

"Generally, I am, you just won't like me when I'm angry," said Platypus.

"Now us male Platypus have these venom spurs, but the females do not. Don't ask me why, they just didn't evolve that way. Our mating season is June through October, and the female is in charge of laying eggs and taking care of the young, which she cares for roughly four to six months. After two years, a Platypus is considered mature."

Then, Platypus paused for a moment and said, "Perhaps you remember my relatives from the Mesozoic, Steropodon, Kollikodon, and Teinolophos, We've been around for quite some time."

"The names sound familiar; I'm sure we've crossed paths at some point," observed Stegosaurus.

"Let me tell you something odd, I'm sorry to say that we Platypus don't care much for your native land America. We have a difficult time in captivity, and haven't really survived well outside of Australia. Nonetheless, there is a holiday started for us in America known as International Platypus Day. I don't have any clue as to why an American would do this, but let me tell you I'm quite flattered by it."

"I think we can agree that mammals are silly a lot of the time," said Stegosaurus. "We're going to get along quite well. You are perfectly odd and prehistoric like! I'm so glad to have made your acquaintance!"

Stegosaurus was so happy to meet an animal that was odd like him, that he decided to spend his summertime in Australia exploring and meeting new friends.

"We all know Fossil Fuel is murder, " said Stegosaurus. "That's why you should save a dinosaur and stomp forthrightly everywhere you go. But if you absolutely have to travel by motorcar, buckle up and drive safe!"

"After my class and I unsuccessfully tried to topple a Sequoiadendron giganteum ( they were just too tall, even for four of us. ) We left California and all stomped up into Canada to dine on some pinus contorta and to visit with my Canadian friend Styracosaurus," said Stegosaurus.

"We celebrated the holiday sacred to herbivorous dinosaurs everywhere: Arbor Day. Though he was glad to see me, Styracosaurus chastised me for missing out on the annual King Kong Dinosaur Cast Reunion this year. There's no doubt about it....! The life of a Stegosaurus, ( especially if he's in graduate school. ) is very busy indeed."

"I'm visiting Africa at the request of my cousin Kentrosaurus," said Stegosaurus.

"His friend Nigersaurus wants some advice on landscaping and gardening because he wants to help feed his starving countrymen, even the mammals. I brought him an autographed copy of my New York Times best seller Gardening Tips With Stegosaurus. There is a little bit of difficulty since while Nigersaurus has a cool tail which is even longer than mine, it is not spiky. Because of that its harder for him to plow, but we'll find a way to work around that. He does have an advantage in harvesting that I do not with a shovel-shaped head and rows of rotating teeth.



I've just arrived yesterday, and all three of us are looking to have a great time planting gardens and eating them too. I like helping my fellow dinosaurs.

"I have been away from my blog for some time because I have been on vacation, " said Stegosaurus. " I spent two weeks in Africa visiting my cousin Kentrosaurus, and now I am half way through a visit with my cousin Lexovissaurus in Paris, France.

He would like to have a word with you, so I am going to let him post to my blog. He's a cheese eating surrender dinosaur, but he's my cousin, so I love him. Ladies and Gentlesaurs, I give you Lexovissaurus !"

Bonjour, mon nom est Lexovisssaurus !

Mon cousin Stegosaurus me rend visite des Etats-Unis, et jusqu’à présent nous avons eu une merveilleuse visite. Il m'a invité à signaler sur son blog et me voici.

Nous avons jardiné ensemble, chanté l'opéra français, engagé dans la consommation d'horticulture, et discuté de la politique ; un sujet sur lequel nous sommes assez d'accord.

Je suis très fier des accomplissements de Stegosaurus, et je dois dire que nous avons un sort en commun. Nous apprécions l'opéra ; il préfère l'Opéra Italienne, et moi comme je vous ai dis l'Opéra Française.

Le Français de Stegosaurus a l'accent du Colorado des Etats-Unis, mais il parle assez bien pour un Américain.

Il est beaucoup plus grégaire que moi et il a accompli un sort de plus que moi, mais nous cultivons tous les deux les jardins, et avons une queue en épi. Nous sommes aussi, beau en frôlant.

Il aime le jazz Américain, et je sais qu'il a sélectionné Bennie Moten pour écrire sa chanson de thème, Le chiffon de rue de Kater. Moi je dois indiquer que je suis plus raffiné, je choisis la fanfare du Rondeau de Mouret de sa Suite de Symphonies.

Je n'ai pas voyagé aussi loin et aussi sauvent que mon cousin, mais j'en n'ai pas besoins ? J'habite à Paris ! !

J'ai essayé de le convaincre d'abandonner L'Américaine Marilyn Maxwell et de lui trouver une gentille femelle Lexovissaurus d’ici à Paris en France. Mais il est trop amouracher d’elle pour écouter la raison. Ah, que vais-je faire avec lui ?

Pour son cadeau d’anniversaire, j’ai payé la moitié d’un billet avec mon cousin Kentrosaurus d’Afrique et nous avons obtenu une fuite de station thermale dans la ville Américaine de Pittsburgh. Peut-être après son séjour là, il pourrait être plus attirant à une Lexovissaurus femelle ou peut-être à une Stegosaurus femelle en Amérique. Kentrosaurus espérait lui trouver une Kentrosaurus femelle en Afrique.

J’ai dit à notre cousin, qu'il n’écoutera pas personne. Je suis sûr qu’il apprécie le geste de son cadeau d'anniversaire. Vous devez faire quelque chose de gentil pour quelqu'un quand il célèbre une étape importante telle que 140 millions et un an. Il a suggéré que moi-même je devrais faire une fuite thermale, mais je n'ai pas besoin de ça. Je suis français et toujours beau, l'ambiance de la France ma préservé.

Mon cousin, il ne considérera pas même trouver une autre de son espèce parce qu'il est passionné par cette Marilyn Maxwell. Si j’étais d'années humaines et quelques millions plus jeune, moi-même, je la poursuivrais, mais je suis heureux d'être qui je suis. Nous, c'est-à-dire, Kentrosaurus et moi sommes très inquiet de lui.

Bon, maintenant je dois allé manger mon petit déjeuner, une omelette au fromage. Au revoir.