Stegosaurus Makes His New Years' Resolution

" I'd like to make a resolution to gain more weight in 2007, " said Stegosaurus recently. " I am actually below my average weight for a Stegosaurus and I'd like to gain about 800 tons, give or take a ton, in the coming year. "

Congressional candidate Stegosaurus has not released a statement on the assasination of Iraq's President Saddam Hussein.

The fact is that since he has a brain the size of a walnut, he lacks the capacity to formulate opinions on political matters.

Please note that this will not prevent him from doing a good job as a Congresssaurus representing the people of Colorado.

VOTE Stegosaurus for Senate : He'll really throw his weight around Washington !!

All 6,000 tons of me, and not a ton to spare, baby !

This message paid for by friends of Stegosaurus ....

I am Stegosaurus, and I approve this message !

Stegosaurus Claus loves all the good little children of the world

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World Google Video

Be good little girls and boys ... don't forget to hang your stockings, for Stegosaurus Claus comes tonight !!

Stegosaurus apologizes in advance to all the families who have / had live Christmas Trees.

Buy Now for Family Christmas Enjoyment the album the world has been waiting 140 million years for :

STEGOSAURUS GOES OPERA

Yes, Stegosaurus has now announced his plans to record an album of opera standards in hopes of gaining a chance to perform on the Metropolitan Stage in New York City....

With a voice reminiscent of both Mario Lanza and Louis Armstrong Stegosaurus entertains our discriminating ears with these guaranteed classics. He is backed up by the Vienna State Philarmonic Orchestra under the direction of the legendary James Levine. Don't miss Stegosaurus ' eagerly anticipated duet with Luciano Povarotti , who said, " I began my career when Stegosaurus was just a young fella, but I have always admired his ability to consume verdure and have eagerly anticpated the chance to work with him for years. I hope you enjoy our collaboration. "


1. Chi mi frena in tal momento ? Donizetti / Lucia De Lammenmoor
2. La Ci Darem La Mano W. A. Mozart / Don Giovanni
3. La Donna e Mobile Verdi / Rigoletto
4. Standchen / Schubert
5. Ave Maria / Bach / Gonoud
6. Vesti La Giubba / Leoncavallo / Pagliacci
7. I Know That My Redeemer Liveth / Handel / Messiah
8. E Lucevan le Stelle / Tosca / Puccini
9. Nessun Dorma / Tourandot / Puccini ( duet with Luciano Povarotti )

Album available now on vinyl LP in orthophonic stereo sound, and 8 Track Tape
LP guaranteed to play on all Philco Radio / Turntable combos !!

Order now, Visa, Mastercard, American Express, Discover, and Goombah Card accepted. Only $19.95 !!

But, wait ! There's more !! Order now within the next 30 minutes and recieve absolutely free this limited EP
available on wax cylinder of Stegosaurus performing American Broadway Standards !!

Here's what you get :

1. Tonight / Bernstien / Sondheim / West Side Story
2. Why Do I Love You ? / Hammerstien II / Kern / Showboat
3. If Ever I Should Leave You Lerner / Loewe / Camelot
4. Some Enchanted Evening / Rogers / Hammerstien II / South Pacific
5. Memories / A.L. Webber / T.S. Elliott / Cats
6. I Love Paris / Porter / Can Can

Act now ! Limited Time Offer Order Now To Avoid Holiday Disappointment !!

Congressional candidate Stegosaurus was this week photographed and videotaped engaging in a clear cutting operation raising questions as to his sincerity regarding issues of the environment.

When approached with the accusation that his environmental record was dismal, Stegosaurus admitted,

" I know it looks bad, given that I'm running on the Green Party ticket," ( Stegosaurus is Green, you know ), adding quote, " I'm sorry liberal hippie types. I love trees I really do. But they are so good to eat. "

What would you do if your Congressman was a Stegosaurus ?

If one were running, would you vote for him ?

VOTE Stegosaurus for Senate : He'll really throw his weight around Washington !!

:-)

All 6,000 tons of me, and not a ton to spare, baby !

This message paid for by friends of Stegosaurus ....

I am Stegosaurus, and I approve this message !


OHMIGOD I can't stop laughing ....


help.... :-)