"Hi, my name is Stegosaurus Claus!" said Stegosaurus Claus.

"Yes, it is that time of year again, when I leave my cozy workshop in Brazil to bring toys to all the good little girls and boys of the world! I've been watching the news lately, and decided that I might need a companion to protect me from any troublemakers I might encounter on my long journey around the world. After careful consideration, I took a stop by Nigeria and picked up Spinosaurus, who agreed to accompany me in case I should discover any children who have been very naughty this year."

"Hi, my name is Spinosaurus!" said Spinosaurus. "You had better be nice and bring peace and goodwill to all the earth, otherwise I will surely eat you alive in one bite! Don't think that you can hide in the water either! Now that science has determined I can swim, I'm even more dangerous..."

"Wait, wait, wait," said Stegosaurus Claus. "I never said anything about eating anyone. Not in one bite or two, or any bites! I told you that you could whack naughty children with your tail. Constructive lesson, not extinction."

"But, but but..." said Spinosaurus.

"No buts. The last time I checked the wisdom of Thesaurus there was nothing even remotely goodwill about eating children alive. I want you to promise me before we go any further tonight that you will not eat anyone alive."

"But my tail isn't cool and spiky its just...."

"I don't care! Its still the closest thing you have to a whipping rod, and ...."

"There are some dinosaurs that can live on Christmas trees, and dine on Pear trees 12 at a time and even tree shaped cookies," insisted Spinosaurus. "But there are some of us that need more sustenance than that...."

"I'm sorry," said Stegosaurus Claus with a hint of sympathy. "Its just that I can't trust a fellow plant eater with this task and I need a Krampus type to protect me these days. Have you seen the news lately? I mean, come on now. Be reasonable."

"I can't help it! It's my nature really..."

"Control yourself! If I catch you eating even one child alive this Christmas Eve you won't get any more presents for millions of years, maybe never ever again!"

"Aw gee..." said Spinosaurus. "I suppose I'll play along after all."


"Good, because there's a Christmas ham in it for you, if you make it to midnight without eating anyone. Tyrannosaurus Rex really wanted to go, but I knew you already had a reputation of manners by not eating anyone at Lexovissaurus' wedding, or that one year that Kentrosaurus invited you for Christmas dinner. I know you've got courtesy in you, so don't let me down, okay?"


"I'll try my best!" said Spinosaurus. "Peace on Earth to Mammals of Goodwill. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"