"As of June 1st, It seems I have reached another birthday!" exclaimed Stegosaurus. "140 Milliona and 19! Wow! How delighted I am to share my 140 Million and 19 years of wisdowm with all the world. If only my brain were larger I'd remember at least a witty saying or two. Maybe three. I will certainly reflect once again, as I do every year how pleased I am to be here with you having adventures year after year even though part of me longs for the days when I was just out of my shell, I look forward to every new day and new experience. This year was a milestone year for me as I graduated college with a doctorate in tree diseases, which goes to show that no matter how old you are there is always room for learning something new.

Although I enjoy and relsih new experiences, I have a great deal of respect for the old traditions, and one of these things I respect is cake. Especially when it comes to birthdays as birthday cake is a long standing tradition.

My advice to you this year is firstly to stomp forthrightly everywhere you go. Do it with purpose! Whatever you do, keep learning. A mammmal's education is not complete until he or she becomes extinct.

Always be kind; it costs nothing to be kind. Only use your cool spiky tail in your own defense or the defense of those you love, your family your siblings whom you came out of your shell with; your immediate family. Remember where you came from so that you know where you are going, and do not be distressed. Worry only makes things worse so do what you can to prepare for the unknown but do not obsess over perfection that never was and never will be. Enjoy the moment, and you are sure to have many more relaxing moments in your future."

"Although the rest of my class departed for their own homes and families when finals concluded I decided to remain in Kentucky and celebrate my 140 Million and 18th birthday by eating a cherry pie ( not pictured; it was so good to eat I ate it before pictures were taken ! ) and a cake as seen here. When mammals and other creatures who are friends of mine realize that I am 140 Million and 18, they start to ask me for advice on living a long time. I am frequently asked, 'Stegosaurus, what is your secret? What can I do to live like you do, with such grace and joy in my life?"

"I always say the same thing, or a variation on it; I remind them, as the song goes, 'Don't you know it is worth / every treasure on earth / to be young at heart?' and I also say, most emphatically, that '...if you should survive / to 140 Million and 18, / think of all you'll derive / out of being alive!' Then the original question is forgotten, as mammals are sruprised to encounter a Stegosaurus, and a talking one at that ! who knows The Great American Songbook so clearly. I am a dinosaur of many talents. After 140 Million and 18 years you gather many talents.

When you reach 140 Million and 18 I can also recommend the Commonwealth of Kentucky as a place to spend your birthday. I fully expect to keep on living, barring an accident, such as Brother Allosaurus finally catching and eating me, or Heaven forbid, a Giant Meteor 2024 strike. Avoid these things, approach each day with a sense of childlike wonder, like you just came out of your shell and you'll find yourself living a most pleasant life! This is my advice to all of you, given with the deepest regard for you, your future and with love."

Stegosaurus returned from New Zealand in time to enjoy his birthday at home in Colorado USA.

" As of June 1st, I am now 140 Million and 17. Seems like only yesterday, or maybe it was last year, when I was 140 Million and 16," said Stegosaurus.

"Well, no matter how old you are always be sure to enjoy your life. After over 140 Million years, it does seem like life goes on forever at times. My advice is to enjoy and be thankful for every moment you are given. For you never know when meteors may fall from the sky. One day you're just minding your own business eating a nice grove of Cycadaceae, and next thing you know you're on display, standing around a museum in your bare bones."

"I have been very fortunate, my friends to still be stomping around having adventures. Why don't we have some adventures together? If you come visit me soon, I will share my birthday cake with you. I really hope you like Coconut as much as I do !!"

"What adventures would you like to have? We could garden, and use our cool, spiky tails as a plow; We cold eat a nice meal of Cycadaceae, for now that I've mentioned them, I have a craving to make them my lunch; We could dance the lindy hop. It is great exercise, and perfectly celebratory for a birthday; We could sing grand opera duets together; wouldn't that be fun?

Really, the possibilities are endless and could actually go on for days; I really enjoy meeting new friends and celebrating birthdays."

"My birthday has come around again," observed Stegosaurus. On the last day of May as I was bidding farewell to the Moa Birds as they returned to New Zealand, one of them humbly asked if they might remain guests in Colorado at my cave to help me celebrate my 140 Million and 15th birthday. Of course I agreed, and was delighted to have someone to spend time with and celebrate my birthday.

The Moas tried my cake, as seen in the photo, but they did not care for it as much as they do the leaves of plants, the roots of trees, or that fairly new invention known as grass. I explained to them the tradition of cakes on birthdays, and they then understood more than it seemed before, but they still didn't like it much. I am well known to prefer trees, leaves and roots myself, but once a year I eat cake, and so be it, I had more for myself. Perhaps next year I shall have a birthday pie, and see what the Moas think of birthday pie.

I didn't want to disappoint my well meaning friends, so when I finished my cake I went out with them out of Boulder and to the town of my birth, Morrison, Colorado, where we dug for roots with our claws, and I enjoyed eating grass with them, until an angry mammal came out of his cave and told me in no uncertain terms, "I don't care if you ARE the State fossil, get off my lawn, you and your big bird friends !!!"

It was only because it was my birthday and I am mild mannered that I did not use my cool, spiky tail. Refusing to let the experience cloud the enjoyment of my birthday we climbed the hills and mountains til we found a nice stand of Pinus aristata; the delicious nature of that good food lifted our spirits and restored our good humor. I am blessed to have so many good friends who enjoy going on adventures. Having adventures with good friends makes life fun, exciting and interesting. I hope your life is as fun, exciting and interesting when you are yourself 140 Million and 15 years old. Cheers to another blessed year !!"

"June 1st marked my 140 million and 12th birthday," said Stegosaurus. "I remained in Africa and observed it there with all my friends including Ms. Giraffe. The observation was held at Woolly Mammoth's Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival; the traditional cake was made for me, but I also broke with my diet and had the non low fat ( regular ) Pteridophytes for just one day, because its not every day you turn 140 million and 12.

"I wish you the absolute best on this most significant day, good cousin!" said Kentrosaurus.

"I hope you enjoy your cake," said Sister Quagga. "I am sorry for getting you one that had walnuts on it, I clearly was not thinking."

"Don't worry," said Stegosaurus. "No harm done. Sometimes you just have to face your fears, even on your birthday."

"Happy Birthday, loyal friend Stegosaurus! I am so glad to be a part of this day with you and grateful for your friendship," said Western Black Rhino.

"You are very welcome," said Stegosaurus.

"If I knew how to dance, I would dance a jig on your birthday," said Nigersaurus.

"Thank you friend. Shortly you and I shall go to Cuba and you will learn much in the way of dancing at my School of Dance," said Stegosaurus.

"I appreciate this so much," said Nigersaurus. "You are a true friend."

"I do not understand the significance of cakes on birthdays," said Widow Ground Sloth, but I hope you have many more birthdays to come. Your friendship is a treasure to me and Junior."

"How very kind of you to say," said Stegosaurus. "Thank you." After which, I allowed Junior to jump up on my back and lounge about ( as Sloths do ) among my spiff, sexy plates. It won't be long before he is too large for this, but as of now he is small enough that it isn't harmful.

"I am very glad to host your birthday here at my Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival." said Woolly Mammoth. "May the blessings of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you for millions of your years yet to come."

"Thank you, Woolly Mammoth. Your kindness and generosity is appreciated." said Stegosaurus.

"Now where has Ms. Giraffe gone? I see her nowhere at the moment," said Woolly Mammoth.

"My understanding is that she has gone to Uganda for the moment. She shall return within the hour. I am sure she did not mean to slip away and enjoys the company of all of her friends here," said Kentrosaurus.

In a short time Ms. Giraffe did return to Woolly Mammoth's Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival, with Spinosaurus and another friend in tow.

"Welcome, Ms. Giraffe, thank you for returning! And greetings Spinosaurus! How nice to see you ! I really hope you are on good behavior!" said Stegosaurus.

"I am! If I were not, I would have eaten Ms. Giraffe and her little friend here!" said Spinosaurus.

"Who have we here?" asked Woolly Mammoth.

"I took a quick trip up to Uganda just now; I was going to bring Stegosaurus some nice Moringa oleifera leaves for his birthday when I met Spinosaurus here silently watching and waiting for something. At first I was scared for my life, but he did not attack me as I expected. Instead he insisted I wait with him and be quiet," said Ms. Giraffe.

"What is it?" Ms. Giraffe asked.

"Shhhh .... " said Spinosaurus.

Shortly along came two mammals; one carrying a large machete used to hack a path going their way and the second following and carrying a sack over his shoulder. When the two mammals came away from the forest and into a natural clearing, the beginning of the plains, Spinosaurus burst from cover and roared loudly at them. The first one, holding the machete dropped it in surprise but had no time to scream as Spinosaurus immediately ate him in one gulp.

The second mammal ran away as fast as he could, carrying the sack.

"Chase down that mammal!" said Spinosaurus; "Make him drop that sack!"

I did not question Spinosaurus, even though I did not entirely know what was going on, or what was in the sack.

I ran very fast, and caught up to the mammal; when I was in front of him he dropped the sack in surprise; I took it up in my mouth and ran back to the edge of the plain.

The second mammal ran after me, yelling something, but I did not stop to hear exactly what it was. As I was running I recognized these two mammals as poachers and I began to run faster in case the surviving one got any ideas about poaching ME.

I had little to worry about in this regard, as shortly Spinosaurus ran past the two of us, and as soon as he could safely do so, stomped on the second mammal forthrightly.

Then, Spinosaurus stomped up to me and said, "Open the sack."

And thus, we were introduced to our friend here, African Ground Pangolin.

"Hello, everyone!" said African Ground Pangolin.

"Thank you to Ms. Giraffe for rescuing me, and to Spinosaurus, who it seems, has developed a taste for Pangolin poachers. I am forever in your debt."

"Hi there, little friend, pleased to meet you. I am Nigersaurus," said Nigersaurus. "If you don't mind my asking, can you tell me what you are? You look like a cross between an anteater and a good friend of mine, Ankylosaurus."

"I have been known to be confused with prehistoric beasts," said African Ground Pangolin; "But the truth of the matter is that my species is only about 45 million years old."

"African Ground Pangolin, like me, is an endangered species," said Ms. Giraffe. "I thought we could make friends and bring him here so that he'd have a support network of like minded creatures to help him through the difficulties of being endangered."

"What a delightful idea!" exclaimed Stegosaurus. " I am so glad to meet you, African Ground Pangolin."

"Likewise, Stegosaurus," said African Ground Pangolin.

"I am certainly glad to have recently developed an interest in the cuisine of poachers," said Spinosaurus. "It is helping the endangered and improving my reputation among those who fear me because I am a large meat eating predator."

"Welcome to my Church, and the brotherhood of the Lord Jesus Christ," said Woolly Mammoth to African Ground Pangolin. "I am Woolly Mammoth, and this is my Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival. Please be welcome in the love of Christ."

"Thank you, Woolly Mammoth." said African Ground Pangolin.

"And thus, we politely endured another sermon by our zealous woolly pachyderm, and were introduced to a wonderful new friend who spent the evening of my birthday endearing us to his kindly, laid back demeanor and explaining himself and his species traits and habits.

I really have the best life and best friends that any Stegosaurus anywhere could ask for," said Stegosaurus.

"Another year has passed, and I am now celebrating my 140 million and 10th birthday," said Stegosaurus. "Where has all the time gone? It seems like only yesterday that my mother found me while she was eating a cabbage patch, and I just came out of my shell."

"I had a very nice time last Wednesday June 1st. I was given a cake, and a special birthday button, and then I went to out to eat at a fine tavern called The Four Seasons Courtyard. I enjoyed it so much I had to apologize to the management. I think they'll be closed now until everything grows back in the spring next year. It was so delicious I just couldn't help myself!"

"How can I manage to be so serene after these many millions of years you ask? The answer is simple, friends. Simple. I watch the sky for meteors with vigilance, but other than that I let nothing stress me. I stomp forthrightly everywhere I go, because fossil fuel is murder so I get lots and lots of exercise. I am a vegetarian, and we vegetarians are very mild mannered and easy going. The thing I use my cool spiky tail for is mostly plowing in my garden; I know how to defend myself if I have to, but I don't instigate many fights, and avoid any that do come up if I can. I am a peaceful creature that hopes to live by example. I wish everyone reading this the best, and hope you will join me on my many adventures this summer!"



My birthday cake.

"I have been having cakes on my birthday since cakes were invented," observed Stegosaurus.

My birthday button.

"When you turn 140 million and 10 I hope someone gives you a shiny button as nice as this one," said Stegosaurus.

Enjoying the cuisine at The Four Seasons Courtyard.

"This was a fine tavern. I hope they don't mind my voracious appetite; I'd like to return there again," said Stegosaurus.

"Can you believe it? Another year has gone by and I recently celebrated my 140 million and 9th birthday. It seems like only yesterday that I was 140 million and 8. Here I am with my cake. Birthday cakes are a tradition on birthdays started by mammals."

"Every year my birthday wish is the same: That the world would once again become devoid of polar ice caps, just as it was in my youth, when I was just out of my shell. That may not be good weather for a mammal, but its perfect for a Stegosaurus."

"Even better than a cake this year was the gift of an aloe plant! Whenever I get nervous I always consume aloe plants because of their soothing properties. How very delicious! Its not every day a dinosaur turns 140 million and 9, so I stomped out forthrightly and properly celebrated the day of my birth by eating at one of my favorite dining establishments: The Community Garden Center."

"We are on the cusp of summer! Let us go and see what kind of grand adventures we can have together!"

"I continued to have a nice visit in Australia during all of May," said Stegosaurus. "Platypus is a very generous and hospitable fellow. My old friend Thylacine even dropped by for tea one afternoon, always a jovial fellow amused at the idea that there are some mammals who haven't yet figured out he's extinct."

"I floated forthrightly on my raft back home to America in three weeks, after thanking Platypus profusely for his many kindnesses. I made it back in time to celebrate my 140 million and 8th birthday on June 1st with yet another cake. I noticed this year that the internet has declared me to be vintage! I sure hope 140 million and 8 qualifies as vintage! I'm very lucky to be stomping around at this age you know; but I feel in great health and so I am sure yet to have many more adventures! Come with me, let's have them together!"

"I had myself a delightful 140 million and 7th birthday earlier this week," said Stegosaurus. "I spent the afternoon on a relaxing birdwatching trip with a flock of Passenger Pigeons and Carolina Parakeets. I also ate a nice meal of that miracle of modern technology, grass, and of course this cake. My sincere wish is that when you reach the age of 140 million and 7 you will have as great a day and as great a time in your life as I have had in mine."

"I don't want you to think my life has always been easy by any means. I very much dislike insects which annoy me considerably, and there was this one time that a meteor slammed into the Yucatán Peninsula, that was a pretty bad day. But overall for the last 140 million and 7 years my life has been blessed. I really can't wait to see what each day brings me; I have tons of fun where ever I go."

After semester finals in California, ( and a nice visit from Lexovissaurus,) I returned home to celebrate my 140 million and 6th birthday. Here's a picture from last Friday of me enjoying a Colorado sized slice of cake with my afternoon tea. Where has the time gone? It seems like only yesterday that I left my shell.

I am so lucky to have lived so long and experienced so much. I truly miss the days when the earth was one continuous land mass; that made travel so much simpler! That said, my goodness! How amazing technology has become! Why,the other day I stomped forthrightly to my local coffee shop for a nice meal of coffee plants and learned that they grind and brew coffee beans now! I still prefer the traditional method of eating the whole plant; after more than 140 million years one tends to get set in their ways... but a lot of mammals really enjoy drinking it.

How amazing things are today. What amazing things will happen in the next 140 million years? Stick with me; we'll find out together!

"Last Wednesday I celebrated my birthday. Well, here it is, I am 140 million and 5. Where has the time gone? I celebrated with my friends at WVTF Public Radio, and politely ate a cake. How nice of them to host my birthday every year, " said Stegosaurus.

"I really don't know what to say about my birthday anymore ; I am pleased to have had so many of them. I have seen a lot of amazing changes in my time though of all new technologies I think the most fascinating ( and delicious! ) is grass. I am really fond of it and think it is one of the finest new inventions of the last 35 milllion years. ( give or take a few ) Don't tell anyone that I like grass more than I like cake."

"I recently celebrated my birthday on June 1st, " remarked Stegosaurus happily. "I feel that I'm in really good shape and quite active for someone who has attained the age of 140 million and 4. It must be a combination of my diet and mild mannered demeanor which contrubutes to my longevity. Truth be told, I don't like cake too much, but the term "birthday conifer" doesn't have the right ring to it. Birthday cake is the established tradition. As an ancient animal, I am particularly fond of ancient tradition and don't change my ways easily."

My 140 million and 2nd birthday was June 1st, and do I feel great ! I don't feel a day over 17! What is funny is that people have been telling me that I actually look 17!! After all these years.....

A birthday party was held for me at the studios of WVTF public radio, where I recorded my double platinum wax cylinder Stegosaurus Goes Opera.

My cake was not as good as ferns in the early morning, but it had some nice flowers. The key to living a long time is to stay active, and I have been active for 140 million and two years. I'm a prime example of the health benefits of eating trees.

After a grand celebration I took a nice walk out to California where I was pleased to be honored with a lifetime achievement award granted by the Motion Picture Academy of Arts & Sciences. It was given to me to acknowledge my 140 million and two years success in playing extinct. How nice of them to notice me. I always try to be inconspicuous, but that's really hard when you're 9 feet tall and 30 feet long.

I was disappointed that Marilyn Maxwell had not yet returned from her USO tour; my dream is to someday actually meet her, but until then, as she says, It Doesn't Cost A Dime To Dream!

I was also very pleased to meet with my friends Issac Hayes and Stephen Spielberg, both of whom endrosed my run for the Colorado senate.

I also visited my friend Tony Bennett in San Francisco, who is still looking for his heart. I hope he finds it soon.

Yes, life has been absolutely delightful for 140 million and two years! I wonder what the next 140 million and two will bring?

" Today is a very special day, " said Stegosaurus. " Today is my birthday ! I am One Hundred, Forty Million and One ! There was a party for me held by my friends at WVTF public radio, where I recorded my platinum wax cylinder Stegosaurus Goes Opera !

Here are some pictures ! Life has been good to me I don't feel a day over One Million !"