National Public Radio, Sunday, May 18th. 2008. "Morning Edition":
Andrea Seabrook: We turn now to our senior news analyst Daniel Schorr, with some insight on the senate race in Colorado. What do you think, Dan, of the rise of Congressional candidate Stegosaurus?"
Daniel Schorr: Well, Andrea, Its amazing because he started off on such a bad foot, er, claw. He was really down in the polls, and it was more than his penchant for eating trees that was hurting him.
AS: Yes, the popular insult is for at least a senior Senator to be referred to as a dinosaur, and of course Stegosaurus is one.
DS: He is indeed. He is the epitome of big government, and has expressed some big government ideas, when he isn't too hungry and eats the paper they've been written on. As has been noted, Stegosaurus has a love of eating trees which makes him unpopular with the environmental wing of the Green Socialist Party. but his recent embrace of the alternative fuel HHO, invented by Denny Klein has given him a boost that really puts his candidacy in contention.
AS: It seems contradictory, but that's usual for a politician I think.
DS: It is this honesty, Andrea, I agree, that is connecting with the voters.
AS: Plus Stegosaurus is pulling in a lot of celebrity endorsements, such as Whoopi Goldberg, Barbara Striesand, and Jane Fonda.
DS: Yes, they are acting like small children! If small children could vote, the election would already be over. A guaranteed landslide for Stegosaurus. There are already some people looking at ways that the Senate Chamber of the Capitol building can be expanded to accomodate him.
AS: Wow, well, what do you think Ken Salazar can do to stand a chance in the election??
DS: Well, he needs to stick to his message, and his record. Ken Salazar is a very popular senator and he could well pull ahead of Stegosaurus before the election even happens. He has a record to stand on. All Stegosaurus has is some spiff plates and a cool spiky tail.
AS: All right. That's NPR's senior news analyst Daniel Schorr, who joins us for analysis of the days' events. Thanks, Dan!
DS:Thank you, Andrea.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
" I have been in Colorado lately shaking claws for my senate campaign, and the campaign is going very well. Picking up lots of momentum. But, I am very sad today. I did something I wish I didn't do, and I am very sad." said Stegosaurus.
"I had been corresponding for the last several months with a fellow from Kansas named The Flying Spaghetti Monster. He seemed like such a nice guy. Finally this afternoon, we agreed to meet for lunch. He travelled all the way from Kansas to Colorado at great expense. We hit it off really well at first, but you know my appetite .... HE was lunch.
Well, I didn't mean to, but I ate him.... all of him... except the part of him that was made out of meat-balls, I tried them but they didn't taste good. Overall he was delicious, but rather starchy and bad for my diet. Now I am so sad because he was such a good friend to me and he's gone forever.
*sigh*
"I had been corresponding for the last several months with a fellow from Kansas named The Flying Spaghetti Monster. He seemed like such a nice guy. Finally this afternoon, we agreed to meet for lunch. He travelled all the way from Kansas to Colorado at great expense. We hit it off really well at first, but you know my appetite .... HE was lunch.
Well, I didn't mean to, but I ate him.... all of him... except the part of him that was made out of meat-balls, I tried them but they didn't taste good. Overall he was delicious, but rather starchy and bad for my diet. Now I am so sad because he was such a good friend to me and he's gone forever.
*sigh*
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Today Stegosaurus announces the release of his widely heralded and long awaited excercise video, Exercise with Stegosaurus.
"About a month ago I realized that I had gained some weight," said Stegosaurus. "I guess I had done too well on 2007's New Years' Resolution, because I'm about one ton overweight. I'd like to lose about one ton.
To help myself and others in my situation I have recorded an exercise video, Exercise with Stegosaurus, which is especially designed for those of us with cool spiky tails.
I'm not leaving the mammals out, I want to assure you. This video will benefit everyone regardless of species. It's just that there will be a special focus on healthy cool spiky tails. "
"About a month ago I realized that I had gained some weight," said Stegosaurus. "I guess I had done too well on 2007's New Years' Resolution, because I'm about one ton overweight. I'd like to lose about one ton.
To help myself and others in my situation I have recorded an exercise video, Exercise with Stegosaurus, which is especially designed for those of us with cool spiky tails.
I'm not leaving the mammals out, I want to assure you. This video will benefit everyone regardless of species. It's just that there will be a special focus on healthy cool spiky tails. "
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Stegosaurus announces a new friend, and scientific discoveries:
A Norwegian pliosaur
An update on the mummified Hadrosaur
Utah crater mystery solved !!
A Norwegian pliosaur
An update on the mummified Hadrosaur
Utah crater mystery solved !!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
"I'm visiting Africa at the request of my cousin Kentrosaurus," said Stegosaurus.
"His friend Nigersaurus wants some advice on landscaping and gardening because he wants to help feed his starving countrymen, even the mammals. I brought him an autographed copy of my New York Times best seller Gardening Tips With Stegosaurus. There is a little bit of difficulty since while Nigersaurus has a cool tail which is even longer than mine, it is not spiky. Because of that its harder for him to plow, but we'll find a way to work around that. He does have an advantage in harvesting that I do not with a shovel-shaped head and rows of rotating teeth.
I've just arrived yesterday, and all three of us are looking to have a great time planting gardens and eating them too. I like helping my fellow dinosaurs.
"His friend Nigersaurus wants some advice on landscaping and gardening because he wants to help feed his starving countrymen, even the mammals. I brought him an autographed copy of my New York Times best seller Gardening Tips With Stegosaurus. There is a little bit of difficulty since while Nigersaurus has a cool tail which is even longer than mine, it is not spiky. Because of that its harder for him to plow, but we'll find a way to work around that. He does have an advantage in harvesting that I do not with a shovel-shaped head and rows of rotating teeth.
I've just arrived yesterday, and all three of us are looking to have a great time planting gardens and eating them too. I like helping my fellow dinosaurs.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Congresssaurus Stegosaurus has been In Boulder, Colorado since February 1st shaking claws and looking for votes. He held a press confrence today to announce his backing for Denny Klein's HHO technology.
In a prepared statement with Mr. Klein standing beside him, Congresssaurus Stegosaurus said,
"I believe in the investement of alternative fuels, because even with a brain the size of a walnut I know that fossil fuel means extinction ! Not only extinction for dinosaurs, but extinction for the homo sapiens who fight for it in wars.
When it all comes down to it, I think a lot of money and lives could be saved if people just walked everywhere like I do. But, I understand that homo sapiens love their cars, and a good Congresssaurus represents all the people, not just his fellow dinosaurs. Therefore I pledge that if you elect me as your Congresssaurus I will work on a State Environmental Committee which will push for the fiduciary resources to invest large amounts of Federal money into this alternative fuel system.
Remember : fossil fuel is extinction ! Please vote Stegosaurus 2008 !"
A great cheer rose from the gathered populace.
Then, Mr. Klein spoke : " I enthusiastically look forward to expanding the use and knowledge of my HHO technology to the US and the rest of the world. With the influential backing of candidate Congresssaurus Stegosaurus I am sure we can save the lives of American soldiers and dinosaurs alike. Thank you. "
Hydrogen Technology Applications Incorporated
In a prepared statement with Mr. Klein standing beside him, Congresssaurus Stegosaurus said,
"I believe in the investement of alternative fuels, because even with a brain the size of a walnut I know that fossil fuel means extinction ! Not only extinction for dinosaurs, but extinction for the homo sapiens who fight for it in wars.
When it all comes down to it, I think a lot of money and lives could be saved if people just walked everywhere like I do. But, I understand that homo sapiens love their cars, and a good Congresssaurus represents all the people, not just his fellow dinosaurs. Therefore I pledge that if you elect me as your Congresssaurus I will work on a State Environmental Committee which will push for the fiduciary resources to invest large amounts of Federal money into this alternative fuel system.
Remember : fossil fuel is extinction ! Please vote Stegosaurus 2008 !"
A great cheer rose from the gathered populace.
Then, Mr. Klein spoke : " I enthusiastically look forward to expanding the use and knowledge of my HHO technology to the US and the rest of the world. With the influential backing of candidate Congresssaurus Stegosaurus I am sure we can save the lives of American soldiers and dinosaurs alike. Thank you. "
Hydrogen Technology Applications Incorporated
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