"I've been out in California studying trees of the Pacific Coast for college," said Stegosaurus. Wonderful pines, like pinus abicaulis, pinus aristata, and pinus pungens. Not to mention the delicious Pinyons...

Since I've become an arborist I've really come to care about trees not just because they are delicious but because they are unique and beautiful in their own way.

It is on this principle that I've decided I can no longer eat any of the Ginkgoaceae, or the Juglandaceae.

This is a decision which disturbs my poor cousin Lexovissaurus, who when he heard of my decision wrote to say,

"Que-es-ce que tu as?!? Premièrement tu es tombé en amour avec la mammifère Marilyn Maxwell et tu ne considère pas avoir un rendez-vous avec une de ton espèce, et maintenant tu ne veux pas manger certain arbres!?!
Les arbres Ginko sont délicieux, et ils y ont toujours été! Pourquoi tu te réveillerais un matin et décide de ne pas les manger parce que cette espèce d’arbre était là avant que tu laisse ta coquille , c’est au-delà de ma compréhension! J’admets, que ma compréhension est limité, mais qu’en même …… et des noyers! Et que-ce qu’il y a de mal avec des noyers?!! Ils sont délicieux même sans du fromage! Je jure, si tu n’étais pas mon cousin je te frapperais sur la tête avec ma cool, tranchante queue! Cela pourrait mettre du bon sens dans ta tête!"

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"I have been quite busy in my first semester of graduate school," said Stegosaurus. "It's been tough. My first test was on conifers, and I got nervous and overconfident...I thought I'd do a lot better because I've been eating conifers since I came out of my shell...but I got so nervous that I confused the Eastern White Pine ( pinus strobus) and an introduced species, the Austrian Pine, or ( pinus nigra ). It was very embarrassing. My research was faulty, even after more than 140 million years.

Also, my class went on a field trip to identify some gymnosperms, and we identified the Ginko biloba from the Ginkgoaceae ;

Many thought they were delicious, and in my youth I remember them as being quite so; but these days I can't eat them out of principle. I have a lot of respect for a tree species 10 million years older than I am."

At 2,500 Pounds And 43 Feet, Prehistoric Snake Is Largest On Record

Stegosaurus held a press confrence on Wednesday to announce his endorsement of the Fabri-Kal company. "I have started my second job as an arborist," said Stegosaurus. "....and as a steward of the environment I feel it is important to endorse those corporate entities who share my vision of a clean and green America. I am proud to endorse the Fabri-Kal company for its commitment to environmentally concious products that help reduce waste and preserve trees for future generations of Americans to enjoy and for future generations of hungry Stegosaurids to eat."

"My New Year's resolution for 2008 was successful!" exclaimed Stegosaurus happily. "I've lost the last half ton! I feel great! I'm a fit and trim 6,800 tons now! Just where I want to be!"

"The economic situation in the country today has caused me to look at going to medical school," Stegosaurus continued. "It's hard for a Stegosaurus to make a living just in Horticulture Consumption or Hokie Bird Protecting so I am looking to expand my horizons at the Asplundh Tree Management Services Company. Wish me luck!

"The popularity of my performance as Count Drosselmeyer in Tschiakovski's The Nutcracker has necessitated the addition of dates through the holiday weekend, so I am still in New York," said Stegosaurus.

"I got Christmas cards from my cousins. Lexovissaurus' card just said Joyeux Noel!, but Kentrosaurus had a lot of news to relate.

He told me that he'd applied to march in the Innaugural Parade for US President Barack Obama, and he thought certaintly that he'd be accepted.

He's from Kenya, and the President - elect has family in Kenya. He also thought that his status as a World War II veteran ( he served in the little known Battle of Humboldt Museum ) would elevate his chances.

But unfortunately apparently the President - elect's transition staff did not take his application seriously and declined it.

He's always felt the world did not appreciate his service in the second World War, since he was so severely injured in the Battle of Humboldt Museum, and never recieved a Purple Heart. Now this happened so he was very sad about the rejection. I told him I was very proud of his time spent in the military; I spent most of my time during the War Years on the Homefront trying not to eat my victory garden. Kentrosaurus always has been braver than I am.

Kentrosaurus is planning to invite our sister Quagga over for Christmas dinner --- She is also a veteran of the Battle of Humboldt Museum -- and he said he's felt inspired by the generosity of the season to invite our friend Spinosaurus, if he promises to be a good dinosaur and not eat them all. Kentrosaurus would like to have a nice veteran's reunion.

I have to run now I'm on the stage in 15 minutes! There's a lot of work to do before Stegosaurus Claus comes tonight!"