Bonjour je m’appelle Loricatosaurus!
C’est maintenant le temps pour les Vacances du Printemps ici à l’Université d’Oxford, et pour moi un repos de mes études de paléontologie, J’ai décidé d’aller à Londres pour une soirée entre filles. J’ai invité sœur Quagga, qui est venu de Nigéria, et Dame Rhedosaurus, qui est entrée en piétinant de New York City, aux États-Unis.
J’ai rassemblé mes filles et leurs aient demandé "Où allons-nous allez? Nous allons avoir du fun dans la Grande Ville de Londres, en Angleterre!
"Je veux visiter Scotland Yard!" a déclaré Dame Rhedosaurus.
"Et le Centre des Zones Humides de Londres ?" demanda Quagga.
J’ai suggéré " Les Jardins Botanique Royal et les Jardins Kew".
"Oh" dit Quagga, " J’espère que nous n’allons pas rencontrer Jack The Ripper!"
"Je leurs est dit que je croyais que nous étions en sécurité, parce qu’il n’attaque que des humains mammifères,
"Où allons nous allez premièrement ?"
" J’ai faim, après avoir galopé des plaines Africaines, je suis affamée." dit sœur Quagga
"Si je vois Jack The Ripper je vais le mangé, mais je veux visiter Scotland Yard avant!!" dit Dame Rhedosaurus.
J’ai suggéré "Premièrement aller aux Zones Humides de Londres, et puis aux Jardins Kew, et après on improvisera."
"Pouvons-nous aller à Scotland Yard?" demanda Dame Rhedosaurus.
"Pourquoi Scotland Yard?" demanda Quagga.
"Mais à cause de la Police Métropolitaine de Scotland Yard!" déclara Dame Rhedosaurus.
"Ma chère Dame Rhedosaurus, vous savez que nous aimons votre compagnie. Mais vous ne pouvez pas manger des agents de police. Ça ne se fait pas et cela endommage votre réputation." Je lui ai dit.
"Eh bien, les agents de police SONT délicieux, je ne peux pas m’en empêché. Mais ils peuvent nous aider. Peut-être ils peuvent nous donner des conseils pour éviter Jack The Ripper."
"C’est vrai," dit nerveusement Quagga.
"Eh bien, rappelez-vous ce que j’ai dit, je crois qu’il attaque seulement les humains mammifères. Nous sommes en sécurité." Je leurs ai dit de nouveau.
"Loricatosaurus a une superbe queue piquante et des épaules piquantes, et j’ai des dents qui ont été conçues pour manger les agents de police, Et les meurtriers." A dit Dame Rhedosaurus. "D’accord, peut-être nous pouvons visiter la Reine Victoria?"
"Ou peut-être la Reine Elizabeth II. Tu ne vas pas la manger elle aussi ?"
"Mais non, ma chère. Elle n’est pas un agent de police," a dit Dame Rhedosaurus.
"Merci pour le compliment, Dames Rhedosaurus. Allons faire la noce à Londres avec notre girl power!" j’ai dit.
Et nous avons décidé d’aller au Centre de Zones Humides de Londres !!
Nous avons sauté dans le marais du Peacock Tower où Dame Rhedosaurus et nous avons mouillé nos griffes; Quagga sait mouiller les sabots. Nous nous sommes bien amusées à batifoler dans l’eau. Je veux dire je suis un Stegosaurid et pas un animal de mer, mais je me suis bien amusé avec les filles. Nous avons vues de beaux s’oiseaux ! Le pâturage du marais, le lagon protégé et même un pèlerin.
"Allons-y !" a déclaré Dame Rhedosaurus.
"Oui, allons-y sans détours piétiné les Jardins Botanique Royal et les Jardins Kew " je leurs ai dit.
"Oui, allons-y!" déclara Quagga. Elle galopa immédiatement des marais et Dame Rhedosaurus et moi nous l’avons suivi.
Nous étions très désappointées de trouver que lorsque nous sommes arrivées là, que la Maison d’Évolution était fermée à cause des rénovations; il semblait avoir de délicieuses plantes dans leur serre.
Nous n’avions pas le cœur de manger les vergers de palmiers de Madagascar, parce qu’ils sont près d’extinction. Il n’y a rien de mal avec l’extinction ; beaucoup de mes amis sont disparu. Et nous n’avons décidé de ne pas manger le précieux et rare protea.
Nous avons mangé un bon repas d’une technologie moderne, de l’herbe ! Je suis toujours étonné qu’il y ait de nombreux champs qui poussent. Il y a des millions d’années ceci était très rare. Bien que nous ne pouvions pas entrer cette fois, nous avons visité l’étant des nénuphars, une charmante expérience. Dame Rhedosaurus a mangé des plantes carnivores qui étaient en exposition; Nepenthes truncata, N. rafflesiana, le 'croc' N. bicalcarata, N. vietchii et le récent décris N. robcantleyi,
"Où allons-nous maintenant??" Je leurs ai demandé après nous avions tous mangé à notre faim. Nous trois étions sur la pelouse, buvant près de la mare de nénuphars et nous avons décidé de finir notre excellente soirée en assistant à une performance du ‘’Songe d’une nuit d’été’’ au Théâtre Globe de Shakespeare.
Nous avons passé une très belle soirée ensemble et nous avons décidé de le faire de nouveau prochainement.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
"Yesterday I stomped forthrightly to Virginia Tech's Department of Large Animal Clinical Sciences for my annual check up," said Stegosaurus.
"Apart from a sore jaw, I have been very well, but I just needed a check up, I assure you. In addition to the usual, you know, its the season for de worming ... I also needed my teeth floated and what I really wanted was for the veterinarian to see if she could do something or anything about my weak bite."
" I spoke to my vet; I said, 'Oh, Ms. Virginia Buechner-Maxwell, I am sure you've seen the recent news about the study done on my bite. I am thoroughly upset with this revelation! Although it probably explains why my jaw is often so sore, I am really perplexed, since I was under the impression that my bite was a lot stronger than it has been for these last few million years. Is there anything you can do to improve it? Anything at all?"'
"I hate to be the one to inform you, Stegosaurus," said Buechner-Maxwell carefully. "But I have looked over all the studies and reports on the matter in the last few days and I can tell you exactly why your jaw is sore."
"You can? Can you help fix it?" asked Stegosaurus.
"Let me explain," said Buechner-Maxwell. "All the studies that I have read show me that you are a plant eater of the class which is concerned chiefly with low hanging vegetation. Sometimes you may stand on hind legs like brother horse to reach specific branches of a certain diameter, but there is nothing I can do. I shall not usurp the power of Nature itself. I cannot even if I wanted to. So my suggestion is, if you want to know what is making your jaw sore the reality is broadleaf trees. Yes, those trees which you so admire. I am sorry to be the one to bring it to you. You need to cut back on the bigger trees and keep focused and content on the low hanging branches, ferns, mosses and other foods for which your teeth are designed."
"This is profoundly disappointing," observed Stegosaurus glumly.
"In time you will find this corrects, and when it does you can treat trees as treats instead of a full diet," said Buechner-Maxwell.
I thanked the vet for her time and expertise and stomped home in a disappointed yet enlightened frame of mind. It will certainly bring a few unexpected and unwelcome changes to my diet. However, we are all given obstacles to overcome in life. I will succeed and adjust to this one in relatively no time at all. Especially with the love and support of such loyal and dedicated friends and fans."
"Apart from a sore jaw, I have been very well, but I just needed a check up, I assure you. In addition to the usual, you know, its the season for de worming ... I also needed my teeth floated and what I really wanted was for the veterinarian to see if she could do something or anything about my weak bite."
" I spoke to my vet; I said, 'Oh, Ms. Virginia Buechner-Maxwell, I am sure you've seen the recent news about the study done on my bite. I am thoroughly upset with this revelation! Although it probably explains why my jaw is often so sore, I am really perplexed, since I was under the impression that my bite was a lot stronger than it has been for these last few million years. Is there anything you can do to improve it? Anything at all?"'
"I hate to be the one to inform you, Stegosaurus," said Buechner-Maxwell carefully. "But I have looked over all the studies and reports on the matter in the last few days and I can tell you exactly why your jaw is sore."
"You can? Can you help fix it?" asked Stegosaurus.
"Let me explain," said Buechner-Maxwell. "All the studies that I have read show me that you are a plant eater of the class which is concerned chiefly with low hanging vegetation. Sometimes you may stand on hind legs like brother horse to reach specific branches of a certain diameter, but there is nothing I can do. I shall not usurp the power of Nature itself. I cannot even if I wanted to. So my suggestion is, if you want to know what is making your jaw sore the reality is broadleaf trees. Yes, those trees which you so admire. I am sorry to be the one to bring it to you. You need to cut back on the bigger trees and keep focused and content on the low hanging branches, ferns, mosses and other foods for which your teeth are designed."
"This is profoundly disappointing," observed Stegosaurus glumly.
"In time you will find this corrects, and when it does you can treat trees as treats instead of a full diet," said Buechner-Maxwell.
I thanked the vet for her time and expertise and stomped home in a disappointed yet enlightened frame of mind. It will certainly bring a few unexpected and unwelcome changes to my diet. However, we are all given obstacles to overcome in life. I will succeed and adjust to this one in relatively no time at all. Especially with the love and support of such loyal and dedicated friends and fans."
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
"I met with my old friend Dimetrodon yesterday," said Stegosaurus.
"You might remember him; he's not a dinosaur but he plays one on TV. Dimetrodon is enjoying his retirement, and has recently met a new friend that he wanted to introduce me to. Let me relate this meeting to the readers of my blog."
"Welcome to my retirement home, Stegosaurus. I'd like you to meet my new friend Nyasasaurus." said Dimetrodon.
"Pleased to meet you," said Nyasasaurus.
"He's younger than I am," began Dimetrodon.
"I'm a spry 245 million years old." concluded Nyasasaurus.
"He is the oldest of Dinosaurs yet to be discovered," said Dimetrodon.
"I'm very impressed and doubly pleased to make your acquaintance," said Stegosaurus.
"I live on a retirement pension too," said Nyasasaurus, "I am however very active for my age. At least now that I'm off the shelf."
"Very good," rejoined Stegosaurus. "Where are you from, originally?"
"I was found in Lake Nyasa, South Africa."
"Interesting! Very interesting! I have a cousin, Kentrosaurus in Nigeria. Have you met?"
"Not as of yet; though I met a fellow who claims to be a good friend of his. A sauropod named Nigersaurus."
"Nigersaurus is a swell fellow. You'll meet my cousin soon I expect; I was pleased to hear he got a new job with Wooly Mammoth recently now he'll have a new friend too!!
Speaking of other Dinosaurs you might meet, I think you will want to be wary of Spinosaurus. He means well but he's a meat eater."
"Well, I'm not too concerned," said Nyasasaurus. "Science is pretty sure I eat meat too and if not, my buddy Dimetrodon will protect me! He has my back!"
"That's right, I sure do," said Dimetrodon.
"Well, after that I felt just a little bit uncomfortable and thought it might be a good plan to politely exit and enjoy the company of fellow herbivores," said Stegosaurus.
"Still not wanting to be rude I remained amicable. Realizing I could use my cool, spiky tail for defense if I really had to, I said, "Nice to meet you Nyasasaurus! Please come by and visit me or my cousins anytime. And you too Dimetrodon! You already know how much we enjoy your company!"
"You might remember him; he's not a dinosaur but he plays one on TV. Dimetrodon is enjoying his retirement, and has recently met a new friend that he wanted to introduce me to. Let me relate this meeting to the readers of my blog."
"Welcome to my retirement home, Stegosaurus. I'd like you to meet my new friend Nyasasaurus." said Dimetrodon.
"Pleased to meet you," said Nyasasaurus.
"He's younger than I am," began Dimetrodon.
"I'm a spry 245 million years old." concluded Nyasasaurus.
"He is the oldest of Dinosaurs yet to be discovered," said Dimetrodon.
"I'm very impressed and doubly pleased to make your acquaintance," said Stegosaurus.
"I live on a retirement pension too," said Nyasasaurus, "I am however very active for my age. At least now that I'm off the shelf."
"Very good," rejoined Stegosaurus. "Where are you from, originally?"
"I was found in Lake Nyasa, South Africa."
"Interesting! Very interesting! I have a cousin, Kentrosaurus in Nigeria. Have you met?"
"Not as of yet; though I met a fellow who claims to be a good friend of his. A sauropod named Nigersaurus."
"Nigersaurus is a swell fellow. You'll meet my cousin soon I expect; I was pleased to hear he got a new job with Wooly Mammoth recently now he'll have a new friend too!!
Speaking of other Dinosaurs you might meet, I think you will want to be wary of Spinosaurus. He means well but he's a meat eater."
"Well, I'm not too concerned," said Nyasasaurus. "Science is pretty sure I eat meat too and if not, my buddy Dimetrodon will protect me! He has my back!"
"That's right, I sure do," said Dimetrodon.
"Well, after that I felt just a little bit uncomfortable and thought it might be a good plan to politely exit and enjoy the company of fellow herbivores," said Stegosaurus.
"Still not wanting to be rude I remained amicable. Realizing I could use my cool, spiky tail for defense if I really had to, I said, "Nice to meet you Nyasasaurus! Please come by and visit me or my cousins anytime. And you too Dimetrodon! You already know how much we enjoy your company!"
Friday, February 22, 2013
Russian Meteor Largest In A Century: With Video
More Details of Russian Meteor Emerge
"I heard of the meteor that struck Russia last week," said Stegosaurus, "....and it frightened me so terribly that I hid under the bed all weekend!"
"Nothing could coax me out; not even a Marilyn Maxwell movie marathon. I have post traumatic stress from meteor strikes."
More Details of Russian Meteor Emerge
"I heard of the meteor that struck Russia last week," said Stegosaurus, "....and it frightened me so terribly that I hid under the bed all weekend!"
"Nothing could coax me out; not even a Marilyn Maxwell movie marathon. I have post traumatic stress from meteor strikes."
Sunday, January 27, 2013
"I am so proud today!" exclaimed Kentrosaurus. "With my sister Quagga's help, I have finally obtained an honest job! What joy it is, a blessing from the Lord, to finally be honestly and gainfully employed! No longer will I be attempting to earn money through fraudulent emails!"
"Now I am here in Johannesburg, South Africa, where Wooly Mammoth has determined to open a church: The Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival. Thanks to the intercession, advice and encouragement of my sister Quagga and the Will of the Lord, beginning on February 2nd I will officially be the church groundskeeper!"
"I must prepare a special thank you for my sister, who has helped me so much to see the light in regards to my future on earth, and to Wooly Mammoth, who assures my future in the hereafter. First let me relate to you how the interview went, I was more than a little nervous about it at first."
*************************************************
"Good morning, Kentrosaurus; welcome to my Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival. Blessings of our Lord Jesus be upon you," said Wooly Mammoth.
"Thank you sir, pleased to meet you," said Kentrosaurus.
"Now you are interested in the groundskeeper position, correct?"
"Yes, sir."
"Have you any experience ? What is your previous job record?"
"Well, sir, yes, sir. I am a Stegosaurid, and therefore by nature am a herbivore. I have a great deal of experience as a plant eater, and would, I feel, make an excellent groundskeeper for your church. I excel at trimming lawns and especially hedges."
"If I plant some flowers, will you promise not to eat them?"
"Yes sir, I will do my best, sir."
"Your resume here says that you are a veteran."
"Yes, I am; my sister Quagga and I both served in the Battle of Humboldt Museum during World War II, in April, 1945. I lived on a military pension given to me after I survived the bombing of the Museum's East Wing, and then, in the 1990's I found employment to supplement that income."
"I understand the circumstances of that employment were less than honest, however."
"I have come to understand that myself through your teachings, sir. You have helped me see the light of honesty through the Word of Christ Jesus, and since I repent of my earlier choices, I pray you to give me consideration."
"It says, in the Good Book, Leviticus 19:36: "Just balances, just weights, a just ephah, and a just hin, shall you have: I am the LORD your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt." replied Wooly Mammoth; "Verily, if you have learned this lesson, it will be the better for you."
"I endeavor to prove I have learned my lesson by following the Wisdom of the Rock of Ages sir."
"Well, have you any references?"
"My sister Quagga is one of my biggest advocates; she helped me write up a resume; my cousins Stegosaurus, Lexovissaurus, and Wuerhosaurus would speak well of me, as well as my friend Nigersaurus .... even Spinosaurus said he'd put in a good word for me. Their contact information can be supplied upon request."
"Well, I have spoken to both Quagga and Nigersaurus recently, who spoke very highly of you and based upon their estimations of your talent and character, in addition to the honesty I have seen today, I believe that I will give you an opportunity here."
"Thank you, sir! Thank you! I appreciate it so much!"
"Very well! The job starts on February 2nd; if you can start then ...."
"Oh, yes, sir! Gladly!"
"Then let us go to lunch; we shall discuss benefits and pay rate over a nice meal."
*********************************************
"This is the story of the beginning of my new life as an honestly employed Stegosaurid," said Kentrosaurus. What joy and happiness I feel today! Through prayer the Lord has provided all that he has promised and all praise is due to the Lord Jesus Christ."
"Now I am here in Johannesburg, South Africa, where Wooly Mammoth has determined to open a church: The Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival. Thanks to the intercession, advice and encouragement of my sister Quagga and the Will of the Lord, beginning on February 2nd I will officially be the church groundskeeper!"
"I must prepare a special thank you for my sister, who has helped me so much to see the light in regards to my future on earth, and to Wooly Mammoth, who assures my future in the hereafter. First let me relate to you how the interview went, I was more than a little nervous about it at first."
*************************************************
"Good morning, Kentrosaurus; welcome to my Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival. Blessings of our Lord Jesus be upon you," said Wooly Mammoth.
"Thank you sir, pleased to meet you," said Kentrosaurus.
"Now you are interested in the groundskeeper position, correct?"
"Yes, sir."
"Have you any experience ? What is your previous job record?"
"Well, sir, yes, sir. I am a Stegosaurid, and therefore by nature am a herbivore. I have a great deal of experience as a plant eater, and would, I feel, make an excellent groundskeeper for your church. I excel at trimming lawns and especially hedges."
"If I plant some flowers, will you promise not to eat them?"
"Yes sir, I will do my best, sir."
"Your resume here says that you are a veteran."
"Yes, I am; my sister Quagga and I both served in the Battle of Humboldt Museum during World War II, in April, 1945. I lived on a military pension given to me after I survived the bombing of the Museum's East Wing, and then, in the 1990's I found employment to supplement that income."
"I understand the circumstances of that employment were less than honest, however."
"I have come to understand that myself through your teachings, sir. You have helped me see the light of honesty through the Word of Christ Jesus, and since I repent of my earlier choices, I pray you to give me consideration."
"It says, in the Good Book, Leviticus 19:36: "Just balances, just weights, a just ephah, and a just hin, shall you have: I am the LORD your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt." replied Wooly Mammoth; "Verily, if you have learned this lesson, it will be the better for you."
"I endeavor to prove I have learned my lesson by following the Wisdom of the Rock of Ages sir."
"Well, have you any references?"
"My sister Quagga is one of my biggest advocates; she helped me write up a resume; my cousins Stegosaurus, Lexovissaurus, and Wuerhosaurus would speak well of me, as well as my friend Nigersaurus .... even Spinosaurus said he'd put in a good word for me. Their contact information can be supplied upon request."
"Well, I have spoken to both Quagga and Nigersaurus recently, who spoke very highly of you and based upon their estimations of your talent and character, in addition to the honesty I have seen today, I believe that I will give you an opportunity here."
"Thank you, sir! Thank you! I appreciate it so much!"
"Very well! The job starts on February 2nd; if you can start then ...."
"Oh, yes, sir! Gladly!"
"Then let us go to lunch; we shall discuss benefits and pay rate over a nice meal."
*********************************************
"This is the story of the beginning of my new life as an honestly employed Stegosaurid," said Kentrosaurus. What joy and happiness I feel today! Through prayer the Lord has provided all that he has promised and all praise is due to the Lord Jesus Christ."
Sunday, December 30, 2012
"After my final performance as Count Drosselmeyer in the Nutcracker at Radio City Music Hall, I met my college class in New York City, and as the Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency we assisted mammals still affected by Hurricane Sandy," said Stegosaurus.
"I was surprised to see Rhedosaurus and his wife Lady Rhedosaurus in town and welcomed their unexpected help," continued Stegosaurus. "Are you still assisting the mammals occupying Wall Street?"
"Yes, said Rhedosaurus. "We have a long term goal, and I've worked pretty hard to restore my reputation with the local police force. There was great success, until the day before yesterday when the policemen assaulted us without provocation and I ate six of them."
"I imagine that was a real setback," said Stegosaurus.
"It was, it was indeed. I don't really hold it against them; there's no sense in bearing a grudge. I wish I had been able to control my temper certainly, but hopefully when they see the good work I am doing with your Disaster Relief Agency, they'll forgive me for my natural tendencies," said Rhedosaurus.
"Good luck," said Stegosaurus. "It's hard to break an ingrained habit."
"Policemen sure are delicious," said Rhedosaurus.
"Following that exchange, The Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency, in conjunction with the Stegosaurus Construction Company and two Rhedosaurids in tow set off for the most distressed areas, and divided our time between Rockland and Westchester Counties. Gradually, things will return to normal, and it is a wonderful feeling to be part of such a positive effort, assisting those in need. Make sure to spend some time in your neighborhood, helping a cause that means something to you and benefits your fellow mammal. If you see a wrong, try to correct it by gathering like minded individuals united through voluntary association to solve the ills of your society. The beginning of the solution is only as far as your mirror. This may be the season of charity and giving, but you don't have to wait until December to express compassion, understanding and good will to each and all."
"I was surprised to see Rhedosaurus and his wife Lady Rhedosaurus in town and welcomed their unexpected help," continued Stegosaurus. "Are you still assisting the mammals occupying Wall Street?"
"Yes, said Rhedosaurus. "We have a long term goal, and I've worked pretty hard to restore my reputation with the local police force. There was great success, until the day before yesterday when the policemen assaulted us without provocation and I ate six of them."
"I imagine that was a real setback," said Stegosaurus.
"It was, it was indeed. I don't really hold it against them; there's no sense in bearing a grudge. I wish I had been able to control my temper certainly, but hopefully when they see the good work I am doing with your Disaster Relief Agency, they'll forgive me for my natural tendencies," said Rhedosaurus.
"Good luck," said Stegosaurus. "It's hard to break an ingrained habit."
"Policemen sure are delicious," said Rhedosaurus.
"Following that exchange, The Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency, in conjunction with the Stegosaurus Construction Company and two Rhedosaurids in tow set off for the most distressed areas, and divided our time between Rockland and Westchester Counties. Gradually, things will return to normal, and it is a wonderful feeling to be part of such a positive effort, assisting those in need. Make sure to spend some time in your neighborhood, helping a cause that means something to you and benefits your fellow mammal. If you see a wrong, try to correct it by gathering like minded individuals united through voluntary association to solve the ills of your society. The beginning of the solution is only as far as your mirror. This may be the season of charity and giving, but you don't have to wait until December to express compassion, understanding and good will to each and all."
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