Salut, je m'appelle Lexovissaurus !!!
Quand ma charmante épouse est revenue de la Chine, elle est partie en vacances pour se retrouver et nous avons passé les vacances ensemble à la maison en France.
Une fois la saison des fêtes terminée, je lui ai de nouveau adressé la question de ma non-existence.
"Cher Loricatosaurus," dis-je, "Que diriez-vous d'une belle visite prolongée de nos amis nomen dubium Agathaumas et Trachodon ? Je pense qu'il pourrait être bénéfique pour moi d'être nouvellement inexistant, de passer plus de temps avec d'autres dinosaures qui sont nomen dubium aussi. "
"Je pense que c'est une excellente idée, mon amour", a-t-elle dit, " Tu vas découvrir après tout qu'être nomen dubium n'est pas si différent que d'être éteint et tu vas pouvoir tout aussi bien vivre dubium nomen heureux et plein de vie que tu pourras être éteint. "
"Et, cela peut aussi t’être avantageux, si un jour la science décide que tu n'existais pas non plus,"
"Vraiment. Pourquoi ne les invitons-nous pas à brouter dans la forêt que Kentrosaurus et vous avez plantée pour moi ? Je suis sûr qu'ils apprécieront, étant également des herbivores."
"Une excellente et très généreuse idée."
Et c'est ainsi que nous avons envoyé les invitations, qui ont été acceptées avec plaisir et nous avons commencé à préparer pour les invités. Tout d'abord, depuis la fin de la saison, nous avons mangé les décorations vertes de Noël (Stégosaurus Claus, avait bien sûr mangé notre arbre), puis nous sommes allés dans la forêt de Loricatosaurus et inspecté les arbres là-bas pour nous assurer qu'ils étaient sains et comestibles.
En l'espace d'un mois, Agathaumas et Trachodon sont arrivés en France en radeau et nous ont salués joyeusement.
"Ravi de vous rencontrer tous les deux", a déclaré Agathaumas, "Vous êtes le cousin français de notre ami Stégosaurus, n'est-ce pas ?"
"Oui en effet," dis-je. "Nous avons entendu des choses si favorables de la part de notre cousin, et avec la nouvelle que je suis devenu nomen dubium, nous avons pensé que ce serait bien de pouvoir passer du temps ensemble, se connecter, et passer du temps avec des dinosaures partageant les mêmes idées pendant un certain temps. Vous pouvez rester ici dans mon merveilleux pays de France aussi longtemps que vous le souhaitez, nous pouvons vous emmener visiter des sites d'intérêt pour les dinosaures, les mammifères et des endroits particuliers importants pour nous deux. "
"Nous sommes tous les deux d'accord", a déclaré Loricatosaurus, "Soyez les bienvenus et acceptez notre hospitalité."
"Je suis sûr que nous apprécierons notre temps ici", a déclaré Trachodon. "S'il vous plaît, n'hésitez pas à poser à Agathaumas ou à moi-même toutes les questions que vous pourriez avoir sur le nomen dubium. Nous ne connaissons vraiment pas toutes les réponses à ce sujet, mais nous sommes bien expérimentés et pouvons vous apprendre comment vous adapter et ce que vous pouvez faire pour passer le temps de façon créative et productive. "
"Comme c'est gentil à vous deux", a déclaré Agathaumas.
"Nous sommes reconnaissants", a déclaré Trachodon.
"Nous vous demanderons si vous souhaitez rester dans cette belle forêt que j'ai récemment plantée au profit de ma femme, par souci de ma récente désignation de nomen dubium", ai-je dit.
Mais avant que nos invités ne puissent parler, Loricatosaurus a dit : "Je sais que c'est mon idée, et je suis toujours en faveur, mais pourrais-je suggérer une visite touristique pour nos invités lors de notre première nuit ?"
"Qu'as-tu en tête ?" J'ai demandé.
"Je suggère que nous sortions tous pour brouter dans le jardin des Tuileries ce soir", a expliqué Loricatosaurus.
"Une belle suggestion, mon cher !" J'ai dit : "C'est ici que nous nous sommes mariés et c'est un endroit très spécial pour nous."
Ainsi, nous avons décidé de tailler les arbres et les buissons au Grand Couvert des Tuileries Nous nous sommes installés sur la partie la plus contemporaine du jardin qui coupe les arbres autour de la sculpture Brushstroke Nude de Roy Lichtenstein, chez Force et Tendresse d'Eugène Dodeigne, et l'Arbre des voyelles, de Giuseppe Penone ; celui-ci est un peu déroutant car il ressemble presque à un vrai arbre. Un arbre qui est tombé. J'aurais été dupe au début, si ce n'était de ma femme diplômée de l'université. "
Le soir, nous sommes tous rentrés du Grand Couvert des Tuileries avec nos invités en remorque. Comme nous avons tous digéré ce merveilleux repas, nous avons discuté de certaines choses sur la vie en tant que dinosaure nomen dubium qui m'ont beaucoup intéressé.
"Naturellement, vous avez entendu parler de l'Agence de secours en cas de catastrophe de votre cousin Stégosaurus ...", a déclaré Agathaumas.
"Oui, bien sûr." J'ai répondu.
"Avez-vous déjà pensé à aider lors d'une catastrophe ?"
"Je ne l'ai pas fait, mais je ne serais pas opposé à l'idée."
"Il y a beaucoup de choses qu' Agathaumas et moi faisons pour l'Agence de secours, à l'insu des personnes dans le besoin et des autres membres du grand public. C'est parce que nous n'existons pas, mais cela nous donne aussi une bonne impression de pouvoir faire quelque chose de si important sans attente d’émolument. " dit Trachodon. "De plus, le fait d'être inexistant ne change pas vraiment votre vie par d'autres moyens ... par exemple, vous pouvez toujours sortir et manger des arbres dans un jardin national bien-aimé. Merci à votre cousin il y a quelques années, nous avons même été reconnus par Stégosaurus Claus et nous allons recevoir des cadeaux pour Noël. "
"Tout le monde aime les cadeaux, même l'humble dubium nomen", a déclaré Agathaumas.
"Vous pourrez toujours voyager avec moi, quand je me chercherai, et si la science détermine un jour que nous n'existons pas tous les deux, nous serons toujours ensemble. Nous vivrons ensemble dans la forêt que vous avez plantée pour moi."
"Tu as raison. Peut-être qu'être inexistant n'est pas si mal ; Ce n'est pas comme si un météore est tombé du ciel, après tout."
Et c'est ainsi que la toute première nuit où nos invités nous ont rendu visite, ils m'ont donné une tranquillité d’esprit et j'ai commencé à comprendre que ma femme avait raison dès le départ, ce qu'elle est habituellement.
Je suis heureux de reconnaître enfin que la fin n'est PAS proche. "
Sunday, January 19, 2020
Wednesday, December 25, 2019
At Christmas time, Stegosaurus stomped forthrightly to Culver City, California in order to visit his elderly friends Dimetrodon and Nyasasaurus for the holidays.
"I really feel it most prudent to check up on the welfare of our elderly, throughout the year of course, but especially at Christmas time, when they may feel the most lonesome," said the kind, altruistic plate lizard. "This visit will be a complete surprise to my friends as I usually visit my own cousins or they visit me, over the holidays. But, this year I want to do something different, something special for my friends. It is an added benefit that I will be in the warmer climate of California. The weather of California is much more suitable than Colorado in the Christmas season."
When Stegosaurus arrived at the Dinosaur Retirement Home complex of caves Nyasasuarus was outside , and indeed surprised when he saw Stegosaurus arriving.
"What a surprise to see you, Stegosaurus! " exclaimed Nyasasuarus. "What brings you to visit? I hope you are well .... I hope you have good news!"
"I am not the bearer of bad tidings, friend! Indeed, I have come for a surprise, and my cousins all agreed that I should do it, and that was to stomp by and wish you and Dimetrodon, and, well, everyone at the Dinosaur Retirement Home community a blessed Holiday Season."
"This will get you some well earned points from Stegosaurus Claus," said Nyasasaurus.
"Perhaps so," said Stegosaurus, "But that alone is not the reason for doing it. I am genuinely concerned for you and the welfare of the good dinosaurs who live in this community."
"How kind you are," said Nyasasaurus. "Please come in, Dimetrodon is inside his retirement cave now. I'm sure he'll be glad to see you and wish you a Merry Christmas."
"Thank you," said Stegosaurus.
"Now I can tell you we have a surprise for you as well." said Nyasassaurus.
" How nice !! I will be content to rest my weary claws and visit with my friends."
Stegosaurus entered Dimetrodon's cave and was indeed immediately surprised.
"Hello, Dimetrodon! Are you surprised? I wanted to surprise you with a visit at Christmas time."
"Hail, Stegosaurus ! Nice to see you! However I feel the surprise is on you, for I am not Dimetrodon, though I look like him a lot !!"
"Well, I am pleased to meet you ~~ you look like a Dimetrodon, so the surprise is indeed on me. Who might you be?"
"I am Dimetrodon's slightly younger cousin Edaphosaurus. I am about 303 Million Years old, and because of what you did for Dimetrodon, the Dinosaur and Mythical Creature Screen Actor's Guild Local 14065 has allowed me a cave in the Retirement Home, just as they did for Dimetrodon's friend Moschops. We are so grateful to you for what you've done for us."
"It was the least I could do," said Stegosaurus. "Now if you are not Dimetrodon, where is Dimetrodon? I hope he is well."
"He is," said Edaphosaurus. "He has gone with Moschops to the beach. He enjoys the beach life, and since his retirement, dining on a surfer or two."
"Oh, that's nice. I can't say I share that particular interest, being a herbivore. But I have been to the beach and had some interaction with surfers in the past. I find them to be nice mammals, and I hope you will not hunt them to extinction."
"Fear not for surfers," said Edaphosaurus. "There are many of them, and Dimetrodon, Moschops, Nyasasaurus and I have not made them a steady diet."
"May I suggest that we all stomp down to the beach and visit with Dimetrodon and Moschops?"
"What a good idea! I would love to join you," said Nyasasaurus. "But I want you to go with Edaphosaurus while I work on surprise for you, in honor of your Christmas visit."
"You are too kind, Nyasasaurus," said Stegosaurus.
"It is the least I can do, in gratitude for all you have done for us."
As Nyasasaurus remained behind, Stegosaurus and Edaphosaurus stomped forthrightly to Marina del rey Beach. It was easy to see Dimetrodon and Moschops when they got there; it is hard for animals so large to hide, of course. "Hail !! Dimetrodon!" said Stegosaurus.
"Hail, cousin!" said Edaphosaurus.
"Greetings, Edaphosaurus!" said Dimetrodon.
"Stegosaurus !! What a nice surprise! Happy Holidays to you!! What brings you to sunny California ?"
"I come to visit my friends this Christmas Season. So nice to see you!!"
"A pleasure," said Dimetrodon.
"I was told there were surfers. Where are the surfers?"
"We ate them. I'm sorry," said Moschops. "Come, let us rest our claws in the water."
Stegosaurus and his synapisd friends went into the water and there happily rested.
"So, Edaphosaurus, tell me about yourself. Where are you from, originally?" asked Stegosaurus.
"Originally I was discovered by Professor Cope in Texas in 1882; but I have also been found in Ohio, West Virginia, and parts of Germany. Not sure how I ended up in Germany, but I do enjoy that place quite much. My name means "Pavement Lizard."
"You say you were discovered by Professor Cope?"
"Yes, I know the great rival of your father Professor Marsh."
"Fear not; I will not treat you with animosity. As a general rule of their nature, mammals thrive on competition; such has always been the case. I hold it not against you."
"How kind," said Moschops. "You have always included us and been socially tolerant of our differences."
"Stegosaurus is very kind. He is among the kindest of dinosaurs." said Dimetrodon. "He does much for his friends and is the most altruistic I know."
"My friends .... you will swell my horse sized head much beyond the size of brother horse's." said Stegosaurus.
"It looks like we have scared away the surviving surfing mammals," observed Dimetrodon.
As if on cue, Moschops burped. "Excuse me," he said. "It is a shame; I meant to save one and bring it home for Nyasasuaurus."
"Let us return to Dimetrodon's cave, and see what surprise that Nyasasaurus has for our generous visitor." said Edaphosaurus. "I'm sure he's prepared and is ready for our return now."
"Agreed." said Dimetrodon.
Stegosaurus and his friends left the beach and returned to Culver City.
"Welcome back!" said Nyasasaurus. "Come in, Stegosaurus. I have prepared a surprise for you. Just for Christmas."
To Stegosaurus' great surprise, Nyasasaurus had gathered for his visiting friend a nice helping of Marina arbutus, Albizia julibrissin, Bauhinia variegata, and Calocedrus decurrens.
"Enough to last you through the weekend, should you choose to visit us that long. And if you'd like to stay til the New Year, I do not mind going out to find more for you."
"One kind deed deserves another," observed Dimetrodon. "We here at the Dinosaur retirement home wish to show our gratitude to you for your help and kindnesses, especially in this most sacred Season and Holiday."
"You came here to surprise us, and we are so happy to see you that we wanted to surprise you and give you a gift in our own way." said Nyasasaurus.
"Carnivores also have a reputation of cruelty that herbivores do not share; We want to be sure that we break that stereotype today. Not just because of the significance of this Sacred Day; not just because it will put us on good terms with Stegosaurus Claus; but rather even in spite of our fangs and tendency to eat meat, we are also capable of kindness and gratitude," said Edaphosaurus.
"What an exemplary example of Christian Charity," said Stegosaurus. "I thank you most kindly, you did this for me even though you are not plant eaters. Bless you all."
"God bless us, everyone," said Edaphosaurus.
"I really feel it most prudent to check up on the welfare of our elderly, throughout the year of course, but especially at Christmas time, when they may feel the most lonesome," said the kind, altruistic plate lizard. "This visit will be a complete surprise to my friends as I usually visit my own cousins or they visit me, over the holidays. But, this year I want to do something different, something special for my friends. It is an added benefit that I will be in the warmer climate of California. The weather of California is much more suitable than Colorado in the Christmas season."
When Stegosaurus arrived at the Dinosaur Retirement Home complex of caves Nyasasuarus was outside , and indeed surprised when he saw Stegosaurus arriving.
"What a surprise to see you, Stegosaurus! " exclaimed Nyasasuarus. "What brings you to visit? I hope you are well .... I hope you have good news!"
"I am not the bearer of bad tidings, friend! Indeed, I have come for a surprise, and my cousins all agreed that I should do it, and that was to stomp by and wish you and Dimetrodon, and, well, everyone at the Dinosaur Retirement Home community a blessed Holiday Season."
"This will get you some well earned points from Stegosaurus Claus," said Nyasasaurus.
"Perhaps so," said Stegosaurus, "But that alone is not the reason for doing it. I am genuinely concerned for you and the welfare of the good dinosaurs who live in this community."
"How kind you are," said Nyasasaurus. "Please come in, Dimetrodon is inside his retirement cave now. I'm sure he'll be glad to see you and wish you a Merry Christmas."
"Thank you," said Stegosaurus.
"Now I can tell you we have a surprise for you as well." said Nyasassaurus.
" How nice !! I will be content to rest my weary claws and visit with my friends."
Stegosaurus entered Dimetrodon's cave and was indeed immediately surprised.
"Hello, Dimetrodon! Are you surprised? I wanted to surprise you with a visit at Christmas time."
"Hail, Stegosaurus ! Nice to see you! However I feel the surprise is on you, for I am not Dimetrodon, though I look like him a lot !!"
"Well, I am pleased to meet you ~~ you look like a Dimetrodon, so the surprise is indeed on me. Who might you be?"
"I am Dimetrodon's slightly younger cousin Edaphosaurus. I am about 303 Million Years old, and because of what you did for Dimetrodon, the Dinosaur and Mythical Creature Screen Actor's Guild Local 14065 has allowed me a cave in the Retirement Home, just as they did for Dimetrodon's friend Moschops. We are so grateful to you for what you've done for us."
"It was the least I could do," said Stegosaurus. "Now if you are not Dimetrodon, where is Dimetrodon? I hope he is well."
"He is," said Edaphosaurus. "He has gone with Moschops to the beach. He enjoys the beach life, and since his retirement, dining on a surfer or two."
"Oh, that's nice. I can't say I share that particular interest, being a herbivore. But I have been to the beach and had some interaction with surfers in the past. I find them to be nice mammals, and I hope you will not hunt them to extinction."
"Fear not for surfers," said Edaphosaurus. "There are many of them, and Dimetrodon, Moschops, Nyasasaurus and I have not made them a steady diet."
"May I suggest that we all stomp down to the beach and visit with Dimetrodon and Moschops?"
"What a good idea! I would love to join you," said Nyasasaurus. "But I want you to go with Edaphosaurus while I work on surprise for you, in honor of your Christmas visit."
"You are too kind, Nyasasaurus," said Stegosaurus.
"It is the least I can do, in gratitude for all you have done for us."
As Nyasasaurus remained behind, Stegosaurus and Edaphosaurus stomped forthrightly to Marina del rey Beach. It was easy to see Dimetrodon and Moschops when they got there; it is hard for animals so large to hide, of course. "Hail !! Dimetrodon!" said Stegosaurus.
"Hail, cousin!" said Edaphosaurus.
"Greetings, Edaphosaurus!" said Dimetrodon.
"Stegosaurus !! What a nice surprise! Happy Holidays to you!! What brings you to sunny California ?"
"I come to visit my friends this Christmas Season. So nice to see you!!"
"A pleasure," said Dimetrodon.
"I was told there were surfers. Where are the surfers?"
"We ate them. I'm sorry," said Moschops. "Come, let us rest our claws in the water."
Stegosaurus and his synapisd friends went into the water and there happily rested.
"So, Edaphosaurus, tell me about yourself. Where are you from, originally?" asked Stegosaurus.
"Originally I was discovered by Professor Cope in Texas in 1882; but I have also been found in Ohio, West Virginia, and parts of Germany. Not sure how I ended up in Germany, but I do enjoy that place quite much. My name means "Pavement Lizard."
"You say you were discovered by Professor Cope?"
"Yes, I know the great rival of your father Professor Marsh."
"Fear not; I will not treat you with animosity. As a general rule of their nature, mammals thrive on competition; such has always been the case. I hold it not against you."
"How kind," said Moschops. "You have always included us and been socially tolerant of our differences."
"Stegosaurus is very kind. He is among the kindest of dinosaurs." said Dimetrodon. "He does much for his friends and is the most altruistic I know."
"My friends .... you will swell my horse sized head much beyond the size of brother horse's." said Stegosaurus.
"It looks like we have scared away the surviving surfing mammals," observed Dimetrodon.
As if on cue, Moschops burped. "Excuse me," he said. "It is a shame; I meant to save one and bring it home for Nyasasuaurus."
"Let us return to Dimetrodon's cave, and see what surprise that Nyasasaurus has for our generous visitor." said Edaphosaurus. "I'm sure he's prepared and is ready for our return now."
"Agreed." said Dimetrodon.
Stegosaurus and his friends left the beach and returned to Culver City.
"Welcome back!" said Nyasasaurus. "Come in, Stegosaurus. I have prepared a surprise for you. Just for Christmas."
To Stegosaurus' great surprise, Nyasasaurus had gathered for his visiting friend a nice helping of Marina arbutus, Albizia julibrissin, Bauhinia variegata, and Calocedrus decurrens.
"Enough to last you through the weekend, should you choose to visit us that long. And if you'd like to stay til the New Year, I do not mind going out to find more for you."
"One kind deed deserves another," observed Dimetrodon. "We here at the Dinosaur retirement home wish to show our gratitude to you for your help and kindnesses, especially in this most sacred Season and Holiday."
"You came here to surprise us, and we are so happy to see you that we wanted to surprise you and give you a gift in our own way." said Nyasasaurus.
"Carnivores also have a reputation of cruelty that herbivores do not share; We want to be sure that we break that stereotype today. Not just because of the significance of this Sacred Day; not just because it will put us on good terms with Stegosaurus Claus; but rather even in spite of our fangs and tendency to eat meat, we are also capable of kindness and gratitude," said Edaphosaurus.
"What an exemplary example of Christian Charity," said Stegosaurus. "I thank you most kindly, you did this for me even though you are not plant eaters. Bless you all."
"God bless us, everyone," said Edaphosaurus.
Friday, November 29, 2019
"I spent Thanksgiving by stomping forthrightly down to Georgia and spending it with my college class," said Stegosaurus. We all agreed we should take on an extra credit assignment and identify and eat a couple of trees native to the State. First, one of my classmates found a nice grove of Acer negundo, commonly known as the Boxelder. In some circles they are considered invasive, as they grow very fast. Though originating in the deep South these hearty, resilient plants can grow in many other places. They have been introduced in South America, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, and Asia. Perhaps I will send a seedling to Wuerhosaurus for Christmas, to put outside his cave; he'd like that. And to my Canadian friend Styracosaurus, who would call it by its Canadian name, Manitoba Maple. They make better Christmas presents than a Chia Pet, though there are times that I've been known to eat those too. The first few plants of this type that my classmates found had Boisea trivittata on them, but that was of no real concern since they generally do no harm to the plant at all.
When we had eaten our fill of Acer negundo, and I had gathered that which I plan to give away as gifts to my friends, we all stomped around forthrightly until we found some wonderful specimens of Catalpa bignonioides. This tree is also a native of the Southern United States, but it too, can be introduced into Canada and other parts of the world and thrive. I learned in class that when a Ceratomia catalpae ate of its leaves, the leaves produced an excess of nectar, which attracted ants to defend it from Ceratomia catalpae. I was dared to test this theory on Stegosaurids by my classmates, my classmates knowing my distinct dislike of insects. For sure this was proven, and in very short time much to my irritation I had insects under my scales and trying to get into my eyes. This was of much amusement to my classmates, who are lucky I know how to endure a good joke from time to time. The Catalpa bignonioides is accordingly not my favorite tree to eat, but I will say that they are quite delicious, and also low fat. Something to keep in mind during the Holidays!"
When we had eaten our fill of Acer negundo, and I had gathered that which I plan to give away as gifts to my friends, we all stomped around forthrightly until we found some wonderful specimens of Catalpa bignonioides. This tree is also a native of the Southern United States, but it too, can be introduced into Canada and other parts of the world and thrive. I learned in class that when a Ceratomia catalpae ate of its leaves, the leaves produced an excess of nectar, which attracted ants to defend it from Ceratomia catalpae. I was dared to test this theory on Stegosaurids by my classmates, my classmates knowing my distinct dislike of insects. For sure this was proven, and in very short time much to my irritation I had insects under my scales and trying to get into my eyes. This was of much amusement to my classmates, who are lucky I know how to endure a good joke from time to time. The Catalpa bignonioides is accordingly not my favorite tree to eat, but I will say that they are quite delicious, and also low fat. Something to keep in mind during the Holidays!"
Sunday, November 17, 2019
One bright, clear Sunday morning at the Woolly Mammoth Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival Sister Quagga spoke with an excessively overjoyed Kentrosaurus.
"Why are you so happy today, Kentrosaurus?" asked Sister Quagga. "Today, Sister Quagga, is a very special day," he rejoined. "I have always been just the loyal God fearing groundskeeper here. But today because Woolly Mammoth is suffering from laryngitis and cannot deliver the Sunday sermon, the task falls to me."
"Good luck," said Sister Quagga. "What is your sermon going to be on this Sunday?"
"I have changed nothing from what Woolly Mammoth planned before his illness. Scheduled today is a sermon on Colossians 3:12 ~ 17."
"Where is Woolly Mammoth at the moment?"
"Resting in the prayer garden. He's also feeling kind of down because the mammal scientists have failed to revive his DNA in mouse eggs, which has been a real setback in his quest for de - extinction."
"Oh," said Sister Quagga sadly. "I hope he does not feel down too long. The mammals are smart, and they'll figure it all out eventually. Wait and see."
"I hope so."
"To change the topic, I have a question to ask of you."
"What is it?"
"I've met some nice friends on the African plains recently who have said they'd like to come to the Church for a sermon. Would you mind if my friends known as Ostriches come and visit for a sermon?"
"Of course they may come! All are welcome to hear the Word of the Lord."
"I shall gallop to the plains and bring them back here with me."
"Very well. I will make them welcome."
"You'll like them. The novel thing about Ostriches is, they are not yet extinct."
"Fascinating."
As Sister Quagga left, Kentrosaurus retrieved his Bible and opened it to the Epistle to the Colossians, in order to prepare for his sermon.
Then he received a visit from Western Black Rhino.
"Hello, Kentrosaurus," said Western Black Rhino.
"Why, hello, Western Black Rhino. What brings you to visit? I hope you will come to my sermon later today."
"I am indeed planning on it, friend. I have a question for you."
"What is it?"
"I have finally met an extinct friend with which I have much in common. I visited with Woolly Rhinoceros to see if he'd like to join the planned Cold Weather Disaster Relief Agency. Happily he agreed, and wants to speak with Woolly Mammoth about it. Is Woolly Mammoth available?"
"Woolly Mammoth is in the prayer garden but alas ! He is suffering from laryngitis and cannot speak at the moment, hence the reason why I am giving the sermon today at Church."
"Aha!" said Western Black Rhino. "Well, I have brought Woolly Rhino with me, perhaps he'd like to stay for the sermon."
"Of course Woolly Rhino is welcome. Bring him back in a week or so, when Woolly Mammoth has recovered. I am certain that Woolly Mammoth will want to speak to him."
"Thank you, Kentrosaurus, I look forward to your sermon later today."
"God bless," said Kentrosaurus. "Oh, and let me tell you that Sister Quagga was just here; she is bringing some Ostriches with whom she has made friends on the African plains. So he won't be the only new guest to the Church today."
"That's wonderful," said Western Black Rhino.
When Western Black Rhino left, Kentrosaurus resumed the study of the scripture.
As the time approached for the sermon, Kentrosaurus was glad to see Sister Quagga returned with her Ostrich friends, Western Black Rhino with Woolly Rhinoceros, and even Smilodon and Dire Wolf, who had long ago promised to return after being rescued from the tar pits. Widow Ground Sloth and her son Junior were there as well as Woolly Mammoth, in spite of the fact that he could not speak at the moment.
"Welcome, Brothers and Sisters, began Kentrosaurus.
"Today I am honored to give you a sermon due to Woolly Mammoth being ill today. May God bless him with a speedy recovery. I never dreamed that one day I'd rise above groundskeeper to give a sermon of my own. Thank you, Lord Jesus and Woolly Mammoth for the opportunity."
Woolly Mammoth silently acknowledged Kentrosaurus, and then the sermon began.
" I want to speak today on St. Paul's Epistle to the Colossians. You, my friends, Brothers and Sisters, are the Chosen People of God. One of the many places that The Bible makes this clear is verses 12 through 17 of the Epistle to the Colossians. ' Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.' These are increasingly hard times in which we are living. Maybe not as bad as the time a meteor struck the Yucatán Peninsula, or a comet smashed into Greenland, but it is a time that increasingly tests the faith and endurance of those who call themselves Christian. But you must keep the faith and stay the course, at the end of the trial you will be worthy if you follow this advice. 'Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.' Life is too short. If you are a dinosaur, or megafauna, a meteor may come for you; if you are a mammal, as we know, your life is short so you must not bear any grudge with your neighbor; You do not know the number of your days, so things must be made right in case you face your final days. So you may leave in clear conscience without regrets of any kind. Forgive, for when you forgive there is peace; when you give you will receive the same. Several times over, these are the things you can take with you. As the possessions of the mortal coil must crumble and turn to dust, or fade away, but the feeling of your heart and soul remains. This will be counted for righteousness. Can I get an Amen, Brothers and Sisters? An Amen, please?"
"Amen!" said everyone. Everyone except Woolly Mammoth of course, but he had a good excuse !!!
Kentrosaurus continued, "There is an expression of unity! You will have perfect unity! For as the scripture says, ' ' And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity'.
"Bound in the Word and in the Love of our Lord God, and his Son, Jesus Christ! Love is eternal; for only that which is good can survive. Only love lasts. through all time."
"Verily, I say onto you, again from the Good Book, 'Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.'
"For this, my brothers and sisters, is the Grace of God. The Grace of the Lord is given to those who dwell with him in peace and unity. Be humble and supplicant in your entreaty, with prayer it will be granted unto you if you believe. Be thankful not just for the food you eat, not just for your scales or your fur, that there are no meteors in the sky, but for the love you have given and received. It is evidence of God, it is evidence of His manifestation; the manifestation of Jesus Christ. Jesus , God Himself calls upon you to be the Word manifest into the world"
"Now again, we return to the Epistle, and it says, 'Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.'
"So we shall sing today upon the conclusion of this sermon, as the Lord asks of us, as the Lord desires, that we, through him, may express appreciation and thanksgiving for all that we have and all that we are. Bring about Heaven, be the peace, be the love, be the example of your ideal, such a life honestly lived cannot fail your body or your soul. One last time we return to the Word in this sermon, and it says unto us, ' And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him'.
"The Lord is our example and our template. Let me give you an example of someone making God manifest to help their neighbor. Before I had the landscaping job here, I used to supplement my military pension by sending out emails from Nigerian "Princes", but it was Sister Quagga who was an instrument of the Lord in talking some common sense into me and convincing me that I should seek more honest employment. Before I even knew it, she was guiding my way, even if she knew it or not, to this Church, this land of Johannesburg, to my benefactor, Woolly Mammoth, who had faith in me and gave me a chance of redemption. Sister Quagga had made the Lord Jesus manifest through her actions towards me, and I try to return this same to everyone I meet. I hope I have not embarrassed you Sister Quagga, but I want you to know the impact you have had on my life and that I am thankful and gracious of your actions towards me in my time of need. "
Sister Quagga did not speak out, but her friends the Ostriches gathered around her and were speaking to her privately. Since she is a humble and unassuming creature she had not told them of her good deed.
"This concludes the sermon," said Kentrosaurus. "Now go forth in unity and brotherhood, to right the wrongs you can when you see them, to extend a hand to your friend or your enemy as well, in times of need be as one in unity, for this is the path to enlightenment. Thank you."
Thursday, October 24, 2019
Mysteriously Intact T. Rex Tissue Finally Explained
The Lost Giants That Prowled The Australian Wilderness
New Discovery Explains How T. Rex Became The Giants Of The Dinosaur World
Cellular Reprogramming Has Been Used to Reverse Aging in Living Animals For The First Time
Dinosaur Eggs May Finally Solve Mystery Of Why They Died Out
Researchers Plan To Bring The Caspian Tiger Back From The Dead
Saturday, September 21, 2019
"I feel bad for Congresssaurus Triceratops after getting so close to extracting sunlight from cucumbers," said Stegosaurus. "They sure were delicious cucumbers, though. I'm sure we'd have gotten some great sunlight from them! In the interests of being helpful, I thought I'd read this magazine with vegetarian recipes in it; surely I thought the answer would be right under my snout !! But no luck !! There are recipes that involve the use of cucumbers, but not any that tell you how to extract sunlight from those cucumbers. Sigh.
We found the answer once, and we can find it again! No matter how long it takes we will succeed !!! For the benefit of dinosaur and mammal alike, science will advance !! We'll save the environment and increase the life of the sun by extracting sunlight from cucumbers !! We'll also show those smug mammal scientists with their larger brains how smart a dinosaur can be!"
Thursday, August 15, 2019
In August Congresssaurus Triceratops returned to his native Wyoming for a time, and so Stegosaurus decided to take a trip himself as he had not left his home for a while. He decided upon visiting Washington DC, because he had heard that his home at the Smithsonian Institution was reopened there. Newly renovated courtesy of the Koch Brothers.
"I'm pleased to stomp there for the first time since the museum closed my home for renovation in 2014," said Stegosaurus.
"The mammals have updated their science which is to be expected; they've learned a lot about us in the last 40 or 50 years. Or, maybe it was the last few weeks. It wasn't that long ago. I am however still kind of disappointed to find that I don't have feathers yet. That was something I really had my heart set upon, but the time has not yet arrived. Nonetheless, I found all my friends to be very much more active in their general manner than I had remembered from previous visits."
"I was able to sneak by Tyrannosaurus Rex as he was occupied with Triceratops, ( I was sure Triceratops had gone to Wyoming, but I didn't stop to ask ... it looked like a bad time. ) I also knew that I had to keep a wary eye out for Ceratosaurus, a meat eating theropod with a demeanor and appetite very similar to my brother Allosaurus. Indeed, instead of greeting me in a civil manner like most of my herbivore friends do, he sneakily tried to eat me. So I taught him a lesson, fortunately I was quick and knocked him down with my cool, spiky tail. Now he will think twice before attacking me again!"
"All in all, the Koch Brothers have done a fine job with my new home; and it isn't just my Mesozoic contemporaries that I get to visit with: as before my friends from the Pleistocene are there too. I heartily encourage you to visit and learn from my newly renovated home. I frequently come to museums to make a few extra dollars. It is easy work as long as you don't mind standing still for long periods of time and pretending to be extinct. Won't you visit? I'd love to see you."
Amid All the Fossils, Smithsonian’s New Dinosaur Exhibition Tells the Complex Story of Life
"I'm pleased to stomp there for the first time since the museum closed my home for renovation in 2014," said Stegosaurus.
"The mammals have updated their science which is to be expected; they've learned a lot about us in the last 40 or 50 years. Or, maybe it was the last few weeks. It wasn't that long ago. I am however still kind of disappointed to find that I don't have feathers yet. That was something I really had my heart set upon, but the time has not yet arrived. Nonetheless, I found all my friends to be very much more active in their general manner than I had remembered from previous visits."
"I was able to sneak by Tyrannosaurus Rex as he was occupied with Triceratops, ( I was sure Triceratops had gone to Wyoming, but I didn't stop to ask ... it looked like a bad time. ) I also knew that I had to keep a wary eye out for Ceratosaurus, a meat eating theropod with a demeanor and appetite very similar to my brother Allosaurus. Indeed, instead of greeting me in a civil manner like most of my herbivore friends do, he sneakily tried to eat me. So I taught him a lesson, fortunately I was quick and knocked him down with my cool, spiky tail. Now he will think twice before attacking me again!"
"All in all, the Koch Brothers have done a fine job with my new home; and it isn't just my Mesozoic contemporaries that I get to visit with: as before my friends from the Pleistocene are there too. I heartily encourage you to visit and learn from my newly renovated home. I frequently come to museums to make a few extra dollars. It is easy work as long as you don't mind standing still for long periods of time and pretending to be extinct. Won't you visit? I'd love to see you."
Amid All the Fossils, Smithsonian’s New Dinosaur Exhibition Tells the Complex Story of Life
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