Feeling fully rested from my unexpected trip to Tibet, and after a very nice visit by my loyal accountant Corythosaurus, by February 2nd I decided to stomp forthrightly to Wyoming to visit with my old friend Congresssaurus Triceratops and also visit with his business associate, Steve Beaver. Having recently discovered my good fortune I had no financial concerns, but being humble and frugal I did not make any show of my wealth and traveled as I usually do, by stomping forthrightly everywhere I go. Fossil fuel is murder, you know.

Arriving in Wyoming I greeted Congresssaurus Triceratops outside his own cave.

“Hail, Triceratops! How nice to see you. It has been a while!”

“Glad to see you!” rejoined Triceratops.

“How have you been?” asked Stegosaurus.

“Retirement has been good to me. I care not to follow current events, but stomp about in peace eating ferns and cycads when I can find them. And that new invention grass. Grass sure has proliferated since I first came out of my shell. It is remarkable, and remarkably delicious.”

“We will have to go searching for some grass and enjoy it together. I agree it is a treat,” said Stegosaurus. “But first, do tell me, how is your greenery shop doing? I have not seen your associate our mammal friend Steve Beaver in some time. “

“Business is doing well, at the greenery,” said Triceratops. As for Steve, he's been growing cycads in the greenhouse for me; you know they can't grow in the present climate of Wyoming, so I have them grown in our greenhouse; Steve also plants a few cactus, the Saguro, and few lesser known varieties. Also, an avocado grove, and most amazingly some very interesting hybrid gourds in an attempt to create a new variety.

“Steve is a fascinating mammal,” said Stegosaurus. “He's so smart. Not every mammal is as smart as he is; I have always been amazed by all the adventures he has had."

“He happens to be here at the moment. I knew you were coming so I stomped forthrightly to my cave to greet you; but Steve is presently in charge of our greenery and if you'd like we can stomp forthrightly to the greenery and say hi to him.” said Triceratops. “I am sure grateful to him that he informed us about the true nature of cucumbers. I would have felt silly if I spent any more time thinking that sunlight could be extracted from cucumbers.”

“Me too,” said Congresssaurus Triceratops.

So Stegosaurus and Triceratops set off from Triceratops' cave for the greenery which Triceratops had opened in his retirement. It was only a very short stomp from his cave.

Shortly they arrived at the greenery which was a very large building with an attached greenhouse and a large Oak tree providing shade on the left side. Steve Beaver saw the dinosaurs coming, and met them at the door.

“Welcome back, Triceratops! What a nice surprise to see you, Stegosaurus!” he said.

“How has business been today, Steve?” asked Congresssaurus Triceratops.

“Excellent,” said Steve. “We're in the black today and things look good for the future. A lot of people, er, mammals, are interested in buying plants today. This time of year it seems the indoor plants are selling well. We're making a killing on succulents.”

“I will order some more,” said Congresssaurus Triceratops, and look at my personal stock and see if we can sell some; I'd rather do that than eat them.”

“How is the avocado tree grove doing?” asked Stegosaurus.

“Very well, Stegosaurus. Thank you for asking. As you remember, they are very popular with our friends the Ground Sloths, and avocado trees are indeed my specialty though I seem to have a talent for growing most anything.”

“I see from the greenhouse windows that your cactus is growing well. You really have an exceptional green thumb,” said Stegosaurus. “Tell me, what kind of hybrid gourds are you attempting to bring into existence today?”

“Thank you, Stegosaurus. I appreciate the compliment,” said Steve. “I have in my garden laboratory three different kinds of unusual plants which have not yet been widely seen by mammal or dinosaur. I am not sure if they'll end up taking off as I'd like, but I am determined to try, you know. I want to create a new kind of gourd, if not multiple kinds of new gourds and put my name on the map and earn a plant patent or two. I am presently crossbreeding Speckled Swan gourds with Acorn Squash.”

“How is that working out?” asked Stegosaurus. “Are they delicious?”

“They aren't ready for eating yet, but once they are I will invite you over to try them,” said Steve.

“Why don't we take a tour of the greenhouse? You can see all the plants we're grown there.”

“I would like to, let's go,” said Stegosaurus.

“I shall remain behind and watch after the greenery,” said Congresssaruus Triceratops as Steve and Stegosaurus set off, though they did not have far to go.

The greenhouse of course, was very large. It contained a lot of plants, and also had to be large enough to fit Congresssaurus Triceratops in it; because of the climate in the greenhouse, things that could not grow outside in the climate of Wyoming were thriving in the greenhouse.

“Look at our Saguaro cactus!” exclaimed Steve. “I have family in Arizona and I really appreciate cactus. They need to live in a greenhouse here in Wyoming, you know, but with the proper care they can thrive.”

“I am impressed,” said Stegosaurus. “And there is your specialty, a grove of avocado trees. Widow Ground Sloth and her son Junior really appreciate the fact that you replanted their avocado grove in South Africa.”

“I am delighted to hear it and glad I could be of assistance,” said Steve.

“Most of these, except my gourd experiments, are for sale in our greenery,” said Steve. “Let me show you what else we have here.”

“Here's the collection of succulents that Triceratops and I were talking about earlier,” said Steve, pointing out a very large collection of small potted plants on a top shelf under grow lights. “They're selling very well right now. Over there in the corner to the right is a grove of your old favorite standby, the cycad. I know you will appreciate that.”

“I do,” said Stegosaurus. “Aside from that, I also see a beautiful field of flowers in the back getting closer the more we stomp! This was worth the trip to Wyoming! I love the new invention of flowers, even though they attract insects that don't like me and get in my eyes and under my scales. How many flowers are there?”

“Several hundred.” said Steve. “I've planted a respectable looking field.”

“Here we have in the back of the building, where natural sunlight comes in from skylights, and these large casement windows that shine sunlight down on a field of sunflowers.”

“Oh! Triceratops and I would have a nice meal of those delicious flowers!” exclaimed Stegosaurus.

“Please wait until I show you the cactus and the poinsettia plants that I have been growing.” said Steve.

“Will you show me your experiment gourds?” asked Stegosaurus.

“To be honest, Stegosaurus. I know you and your appetite. I am concerned you will eat my gourds before they are finished growing. I apologize.” replied Steve, with patient and kind sincerity.

“I respect your honesty,” said Stegosaurus. “You know me too well.”

The tour continued, as Steve described row after row of every plant, every cactus, every flower, every blade of grass. This made Stegosaurus very hungry, but he was also patient and waited until he could get outside of the greenhouse and speak with Triceratops. Stegosaurus knew that Triceratops possessed more restraint and he could eat the sunflowers with him if he were there to remind him not to eat everything just because he saw it before him. He also respected Steve Beaver and didn't want to hog all of Steve's hard work for himself.

Stegosaurus had never seen such a large greenhouse so well stocked before in all of his 140 Million and 18 years, it was the best dining establishment he had ever seen! He would eat well tonight, and he was so proud of Steve and Congresssaurus Triceratops for not giving up and making the effort to reach for and achieve their dreams. They deserved all the success in the world.

https://www.almanac.com/ty'pes-gourds

Stegosaurus returned from Tibet on January 8th, very tired from all of his recent travels. He welcomed the return to his cave in Boulder, Colorado, his favorite place to rest his weary claws. He didn't even eat anything as soon as he got home ( except of course, his raft ), he simply returned to his cave and slept.

At one point, he woke up, went outside to his yard, and fell asleep again in the sun. It was in this way that his loyal accountant Corythosaurus discovered him, on the morning of January 18th. Stegosaurus was at first startled, since he'd forgotten that January 18th was the day they had set aside for Corythosaurus to discuss the results of his 2024 tax filing.

“Good morning, Stegosaurus,” said Corythosaurus. “I hope I didn't wake you. I have some important news to tell you. It is good news, too ! I'm pretty sure you won't believe me, but it is all quite true!”

“Greetings, friend Corythosaurus!” said Stegosaurus. “Always nice to see you, but please don't keep me in suspense! Tell me, what makes this year so much more exciting than any other year?”

“This year, the year 2025 is your year, Stegosaurus !!” insisted Corythosaurus.

“I have filed your 2024 tax return, and after crunching all the numbers I've discovered that you, beloved by children, studied by mammal scientists, celebrated in film and comic book, both serious and comical, you, you narrow faced roof lizard, Mr. Stegosaurus, you are a millionaire worth 44.6 MILLION dollars !!”

“What ?!?” Stegosaurus exclaimed incredulously. “How did that happen?!?”

“I am not entirely sure, my first immediate thought is it is a result of you being so humble and frugal, but then I thought some more for something told me that there was more to the story, more than meets the eye.”

“Tell me, don't be so dramatic. Has there been an inheritance? A long lost relative perhaps? I haven't read the news, I've just returned from visiting cousin Wuerhosaurus in Tibet and I am totally out of the loop. How in the world could I possibly be a millionaire ?”

“I have discovered that you have an inheritance, Stegosaurus. One we didn't know about until now. It seems that your mother made an early investment into broadleaf trees, just about the time you had come out of your shell, and the success of broadleaf trees over the last 140 Million years or so, since the early Cretaceous period has put you into another tax bracket. “ explained Corythosaurus.

“Well, isn't that something! I had no idea my mother was so concerned about my future.

Her prescience as an investor is impressive. We dinosaurs, you know, we aren't so good usually at thinking ahead. I know a lot about my father, Professor O.C. Marsh, but I don't know too much about my mother. All I can remember is that she found me one day while she was eating a cabbage patch.

I guess this means that I should be hanging around with rich people like Elon Musk, Bill Gates or Warren Buffett. I don't know, do you think Bill Gates would let me eat trees? He seems overly concerned about the environment. I also know that Elon Musk has made a lot of money making the mammals' transportation devices electric, and as we well know I am a fan of alternative fuel sources, but I am not sure given recent news that he and I would see eye to eye on a very many key principles. He does not strike me, suddenly as a supporter of my favorite candidate Eugene Victor Debs.

Maybe Warren Buffett would be more my style. We have in common the fact, for example, that we're both very old. I like finding common ground. I am not sure how old he is, but he looks like he is 140 million years old”.

“Maybe I'll buy an island, or a country, such as Greenland, or Canada. It would be great to establish the funding for a meteor detection system in this country to prevent the destructive extinction we experienced in the past.” said Stegosaurus.

“I advise you not to let your newfound riches go to your head”, said an amused Corythosaurus. “Remain the humble, altruistic, kind and gentle Stegosaurus we all know and love.”

“You're right, Corythosaurus. I appreciate your advice. There is much wisdom in what you say.”

“Let us go eat some broadleaf trees now, and we'll discuss ways in which I can use my wealth to help others as well as myself. I can think of a few honorable charities to which I'd like to donate my money and my time. There are so many causes I feel so passionately about.”

“I also advise you to be frugal and careful about how, when, and to whom you are charitable. Don't let anyone, mammal, dinosaur, or megafauna take advantage of your generosity.”

“Again, good advice, Corythosaurus. Thank you. I find it hard to think in the long term sometimes, with a brain the size of a walnut. Thank you for keeping my head out of the clouds.”

“This is my job, not just as your loyal accountant, but as a friend.” said Corythosaurus. “Now shall we go and dine?”

“Yes, indeed, let us go. I think there's a grove or two of Maples and Oaks just over the next hill.” said Corythosaurus.

The two friends then set off over the hills and enjoyed a delicious meal of Maples, Oaks, and homemade bread with Diet Coke.

Everyone in the forest lived happily ever after.

Kentrosaurus was delighted.

Woolly Mammoth was returning to The Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival after 2 years of meditation in the remains of the city of Tanis in Egypt.

Knowing this, he had prepared for months to prepare the church for Mammoth's return and his expected sermon. The Iguanodon family was the first of the guests to arrive at the Church, as Kentrosaurus expected but this time they brought someone with them that Kentrosaurus did not know.

He stomped forthrightly, to greet his friends, and introduce himself to the dinosaurs which had come with the Iguanodons to seek the Word of God.

“Hail, Iguanodon! Hello to you and your family. May God's love shine upon you!” “Greetings, good Kentrosaurus!” said Iguanodon. “My family and I are delighted to be here this morning and look forward to the return of Woolly Mammoth and his Christmas sermon.”

“I have been preparing for this Sunday with even more care than a normal Sunday,” said Kentrosuarus. “I am delighted to see you and your entire family here.” “We are blessed to be a part of this Church family.” Mrs. Iguanodon said to Kentrosaurus, as her children gathered round her and even snuggled close to Kentrosaurus whom they knew well and admired.

“Please do introduce me to your friend. Let me welcome this newcomer to the blessings of the Lord Jesus Christ.” “Oh, my apologies!” exclaimed Iguanodon. “This is our relative, recently discovered from the country of Argentina. Welcome Emiliasaura alessandrii from Northwestern Patagonia, Argentina.”

“Very pleased to meet you, good Kentrosaurus. I am recently discovered and named though I am about 138 Million Years old from the early Cretaceous period when that area comprised many Nations joined together and called Gondwanaland.”

“The Earth has changed a lot since our heyday,” observed Kentrosaurus. “But welcome to the Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival; come to hear the Word of God from Woolly Mammoth who returns to the Church after a 2 year meditation retreat.

“Welcome, and Christ be with you; if you need anything just ask me. I am, in humility your servant, and glad to have you here.”

Kentrosaurus then turned to welcome other guests to the Church. Among these some of the usual attendees such as Western Black Rhino and Sister Quagga had arrived. While delighted to see his friends return, Kentrosaurus also lamented that he'd never seen Dire Wolf or Smilodon at Church as they had promised years ago. He'd hoped they'd show up during Woolly Mammoth's sabbatical so he could show Woolly Mammoth that the Chruch had grown in his absence. But Western Black Rhino was here, beginning to feel adjusted to the fact that he was extinct; and coming to God was one of the factors that helped his mental state through this difficult process.

Kentrosaurus observed Widow Ground Sloth and her son Junior enter the Church. They were such delightful friends to him and Woolly Mammoth and were definitely sincere Christians. He knew they knew the way and followed in the footsteps of The Lord. The next guest, Kentrosaurus wasn't always sure of, but Spinosaurus was always welcome provided he never tried to eat anyone at Church. Especially not during the sermon.

Kentrosaurus was elated that he had helped to bring Western Black Rhino some peace to his soul. And Sister Quagga was here. She usually spent her time grazing upon the African plain; but she was a fairly frequent guest of the Church as she came there to visit with her neighbors. Kentrosuarus knew she was an Atheist, but he held out hope, especially on Christmas Day, that someday soon she would hear a sermon that would give her the epiphany which would save her soul.

Then Nigersaurus arrived; and being a sauropod he stomped into the prayer garden and stuck his head through the Church skylight. “Hello, there!” he said, “I heard that Woolly Mammoth is coming back, and will be giving a sermon this Christmas Morning.”

“It is true,” confirmed Kentrosaurus. “Welcome, Nigersaurus, I am so pleased to see you this morning.”

“Is Stegosaurus coming to the sermon?” Nigersaurus asked.

“Stegosaurus is not here; he is in Tibet with our cousin Wuerhosaurus,” replied Kentrosaurus.

“It would have been nice to see him,” rejoined Nigersaurus. “Next time you speak, please send him my regards.”

“I will,” promised Kentrosaurus.

Woolly Rhino was next to arrive, giving greetings to Western Black Rhino, who met him in the narthex.

He noticed the presence of Emiliasaura alessandrii and asked Kentrrosaurus, “Who is that?”

“This is our guest from Argentina Emiliasaura alessandrii, who is a relative of the Iguanodon family, and he was recently discovered. We're glad to have him here.”

“I shall introduce myself,” said Woolly Rhino, and to Western Black Rhino he asked, “Would you like to come with me? Let us make a new friend.”

“Wait,” said Kentrosaurus. “I note that the time has arrived for Woolly Mammoth to return and deliver the Christmas sermon. By all means, introduce yourselves after the sermon.”

“I look forward to it,” said Western Black Rhino.

The church was full of dinosaurs and megafauna expecting the return of Woolly Mammoth and his first sermon in 2 years, this fine, Christmas Morning.

As he entered the Church, Woolly Mammoth surveyed his beloved congregation and saw many familiar faces which warmed his heart. Then, he noticed Emiliasaura alessandrii there and was delighted as always, to see new faces at his Church. He felt called to introduce himself at once, immediately going to the far back corner of the Church, where Emiliasaura alessandrii was speaking to the Iguanodon family.

“Greetings, Iguanodon family !! May the Blessings of the Lord Jesus be upon you!”

“We are so pleased to see you here, Mammoth and look forward to your Christmas Day sermon.”

“I shall speak shortly, but I see you have a friend with you new to our Church. Who might he be?” asked Woolly Mammoth.

“A pleasure to meet you, Woolly Mammoth. I too, eagerly await your Christmas Day sermon. I am Emiliasaura alessandrii, a relative of the Iguanodon family, recently discovered in 2013, I am from Argentina.”

“Welcome to my Church, my Brother in Christ,” said Woolly Mammoth. Then, Mammoth noticed behind him the arrival of Western Black Rhino and Woolly Rhino.

“Ah!” exclaimed Mammoth. “Welcome, Emiliasaura alessandrii, and here is Western Black Rhino and Woolly Rhino. Have you met them? They are stout and loyal to the Church and our God.”

“A pleasure to meet you,” said Western Black Rhino. “I could not help but overhear your conversation with Mammoth, and I hear you were discovered the same year that the mammal scientists declared me extinct. We have something in common!!”

“So, we do, so we do,” said Emiliasaura alessandrii “A pleasure to meet you and your Woolly friend.”

“I am Woolly Rhino,” said Woolly Rhino as he introduced himself.

“A pleasure to meet you both,” said Emiliasaura alessandrii. “Please be welcome in our pew and listen to the sermon with me and the Iguanodons.”

“I shall go at once and give the Sermon on this Blessed Day,” said Woolly Mammoth.

The two rhinos agreed to remain with their new friend and Woolly Mammoth returned to the front of the Chruch and prepared to give his sermon, the entire congregation waited with breathless anticipation.

Woolly Mammoth returned to the pulpit, and said,

“Welcome one and all, dinosaur and megafauna, I am glad to see you all and glad to be back at my Church preaching the Word of God. Merry Christmas to one and all. This morning my sermon is on the 3rd verse of St. Paul's Epistle to the Colossians which was written around 60 – 61, AD. I know that all of us here are Children of the one True God, Jesus Christ, and knowing this, as we do, we should all set our eyes not upon things of this Earth, but upon the skies of Heaven and the World beyond and above us. Therein is the example that Christ came to earth to teach us, therein is the key to life eternal, a life of peace and true prosperity. For you take no earthly thing with you to the afterlife all that you have is that which you have given to others by your example, an example I pray is an example of God, Jesus in this earth.

Discard then anything that ties you to the physical world, and focus upon the future of your eternal souls. Reject any immoral act of the flesh, any desire that would not meet the approval of God or your higher, ideal self. Keep as an example that which the Lord gave to us when he sent his only Son into the World. For Jesus is the light that we all need to keep in sight. We cannot do that focused on the cares of this World; Jesus wants more for us all. He has provided the example and we must follow.

We cannot reject it and remain at peace while in the physical world. If we are ever to reach that high station that the Son of God provided as an example we must look above and turn within to find the voice of our Lord speaking to us, reminding us of what he taught, what he promised if we would just make the decision, to follow.

Can you see, as the scripture instructs, we must do this, or the wrath of God shall be upon us for rejecting Him and turning outwardly to our own selfish desires and needs. God wants you to be a part of Him, wants to give you that opportunity for eternal life.

Choose wisely and reject any thing that binds you to the earth. Any impurity, selfishness or greed, this is idolatry. Reject anger, rage, and malice from your hearts. Do not swear nor take the Lord's name in vain, do not lie to yourselves or each other as your old selves represent the life you left behind when the Lord came into your life.

Keep looking up, keep looking within, and you will see the Lord waiting for you. He is listening for your prayer. Embrace your new image the image of your God, within and without. All you have learned is an example and opportunity to learn more. To be more graceful, more kind, more gentle. I hope it is easier to do this time of year as we celebrate the birth of our Lord at Christmastide, but the example of Jesus is one we should always embrace and love as He loves us.

As the scripture reads, thus, “Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.”

Practice as a general rule, kindness, compassion, humility, gentleness and patience, and if you develop a grievance with your brother or sister, cast it aside and forgive it. Forgive it with love. Be one with God, in unity. Express your solidarity with Christ through such things that please the Lord. For example, sing psalms, hymns and songs of the Spirit. Spend some part of the day within, in meditation with the still, small voice of your soul. Do this every day, and the Gift that the Lord wants for you is yours and you are truly free. No matter what you do, give thanks onto the Lord Jesus Christ and be thankful you are here at this time to experience that which had been scorned and rejected by the Worldly of the World. Give thanks to God the Father through Him, Jesus almighty.

If you face difficulty and need help be not afraid to ask, be not ashamed. We all falter from time to time this is the unfortunate fact of our times but we can rise above, and the Lord Jesus points the way.

Now peace be with you, and if you need any help do not hesitate to ask me, I am here, your servant of the Lord, waiting and able to help if I am needed. Merry Christmas to one and all of any kind, where ever you came from near or far. God bless us, everyone."

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“On October 22nd, I received the sad news that Professor Dong Zhiming had become extinct.” said Stegosaurus. “He was the very nice scientist who discovered my Cousin Wuerhosaurus in 1973 and whom I met on my last visit to China in 2022.”

I knew Cousin Wuerhosaurus would want to know but as he was in transit via slow boat after visiting me, and only left my cave in early October. I knew that if I crafted a raft, I could float forthrightly to Tibet and get there before Wuerhosaurus. He does not have a yard outside his cave, but there are other things I can do to make his cave comfortable and I can return the favor he did to me while I was myself away this summer.

I arrived in Tibet on November 18th, climbing carefully up the mountain in which Wuerhosaurus' cave can be found. Wuerhosaurus lives simply in a very sparse environment and it is quite remote. This is beneficial to him because he spends so much time in meditation.

Thus, there was not much to do in his cave or directly outside it as it was so sparse and there was no grass growing that needed trimming. So, I remained in my cousin's cave waiting for his arrival hopefully my presence would soften the news of Professor Zhiming's extinction.

Wuerhosaurus arrived at his cave on November 19th, which is a little bit earlier than his usual arrival dates. He must have gotten swept up in a good tide that sped his arrival.

Wuerhosaurus was surprised to see me in his cave, of course I was not expected and he'd just visited with me in Colorado. So he asked If I had decided to enter a life of introspective meditation like my cousin Lexovissaurus and Loricatosaurus.

“No,” said Stegosaurus. I have for you some sad news which I learned not long after you left my humble abode. Your father, Professor Dong Zhiming has become extinct, as of October 20th”

“Blessings be upon him.” said Wuerhosaurus. “He was a good father; he discovered me and dug my fossil from the earth. He even named me, though I was and remain only partially discovered. What a generous thing to do, as my fossil did not remain in a box on a shelf for a mammal's generation; He took the time to do all these things for me, and many others, including some of our distant cousins. A dinosaur could not ask for more from such a mammal as was Professor Dong Zhiming. Let us enter into a state of meditation and prayer for his soul, and when we are called upon to return to the outside world we'll have a press conference held and make a statement to the public. “

Stegosaurus agreed that this was proper, and followed the example of his cousin, and they both remained in prayer and meditation for the rest of November and for the greater part of December; most of the rest of the year. Stegosaurus' first priority was to take care that his cousin had family nearby to help in this time of grief. He believed in taking care of his own first, above all others. This is, after all, the key principle of the Holiday Season, and they both found peace within.

Professor Dong Zhiming ( 1937 ~ 2024 ) A Tribute

My cousin Wuerhosaurus got on his slow boat and floated forthrightly, albeit slowly, home to Tibet in early October leaving me no guests to entertain or, at the moment, anywhere to go.

I had no lawn work to do, since my cousin had maintained my yard over the summer while I was in Kentucky. I needed to let the forest around me grow given how much my cousin and I had eaten during his visit. So, I rested my claws and caught some sun outside my cave while I thought about what to do. Thinking takes a while when you have a brain the size of a walnut, so it was October 30th before I decided what to do.

I have seen about this time of year when I visit the areas populated by mammals small mammal children dressed up in unusual costumes, some very outlandish, even a few that look like me.

They go from building to building gathering candies and trinkets in the early part of the evening.

It seems to be some part of an ancient ritual the mammals call Halloween. I don't care too much for sweets; I only have 64 teeth, and even though they grow back no matter how many times I might lose one, I still want to be cautious and take care of my teeth so I wouldn't eat chocolates but I wouldn't mind dressing up and wandering around downtown Boulder to see if any one recognizes me as a Stegosaurus or under my disguise. So the next step is to decide what I could disguise myself as.

My epiphany on this matter occurred when I considered what my father, Othneil Charles Marsh thought of the placement of my spiff, sexy plates when I was first discovered in the year 1877.

His initial thought was that they naturally lay flat upon my back, so that they looked like roof shingles.

All these years later, it gives some mammals the impression that I am a giant turtle.

Well, now, I wonder, could I make a convincing turtle? There was only one way to find out. I flattened my spiff, sexy plates over my back so in my mind at least, they looked like the shell of a turtle. Once this was accomplished, I set out to find a group of small mammal children on the evening of October 31st. I stomped forthrightly in the way I thought a turtle would stomp if the turtle weighed 6 tons and was 9 feet tall and 30 feet long. When I found the areas where mammals live, I happened upon three small mammal children. One shambling along behind his friends hunched over, a second dressed as what appeared a kind of soldier, and a third was dressed up as …... I think it was …. me.

“Look!” exclaimed the hunched over mammal child. “It's a Stegosaurus!”

The mammal children were amazed as I stomped up to them. The mammal child disguised as me was particularly excited.

“Ah no,” said Stegosaurus, “Can you not tell? I am a turtle! What are you?”

“I am a Hunchback!” said the hunched over mammal child.

“I am a Roman Centurion!” said the mammal child dressed as a soldier.

“I am YOU!” exclaimed the third mammal child who was, indeed dressed as me.

“I am a turtle!” Said Stegosaurus; “Do you think I make a convincing turtle?”

The mammal children were torn between being honest, and not wanting to hurt my feelings, I could see, by their hesitation and reaction to my question. Maybe I wasn't a convincing turtle, but was going to have fun anyway. I quickly changed the subject. I asked them, “What do you each have in the buckets you are carrying with you?”

“I have a Milky Way bar,” said the Roman Centurion.

“I have a peanut butter cup,” said the Hunchback.

“I have string cheese,” said the mammal child dressed as myself.

“Can we have a ride?” he asked.

“You can,” said Stegosaurus; “But tonight the rule is you have to pretend I am a turtle!”

The mammal children heartily agreed, and we had an evening of great fun, going from house to house and collecting candies for them. One very nice elderly mammal saw that I was not fond of candies and gave me a nice meal of aloe plants. In return, I ate the grass in her yard, which needed trimming.

When we had visited all of the nearby mammal homes, I announced my plan to return to my home cave and let the mammal children off of my back.

We parted most cheerfully, and I promised to return and visit again another day.

I returned to my home cave delighted with my evening adventure; I had a great time, but I think in the future I need to work on a more convincing turtle costume.

Stegosaurus stomped forthrightly home to Colorado in early September, knowing that he'd soon receive a visit from his Chinese cousin Wuerhosaurus. As he approached his home cave, he found his cousin kindly maintaining the lawn just outside his humble abode.

“Hail, Wuerhosaurus! Thank you so much for trimming my lawn; it must have overgrown while I visited the Commonwealth of Kentucky.”

“It was very tall,” admitted Wuerhosaurus. “I have been here since August 2nd and now have things under control.”

“What brings you to Colorado, USA?” asked Stegosaurus.

“I have news for you regarding your cousin of France, Lexovissaurus and his lovely wife Loricatosaurus.“

“Is everything okay?” asked Stegosaurus. “Are they extinct? I have not heard from either of them in more than a year!”

“They are fine; I have spoken to them personally.” assured Wuerhosaurus.

“It seems they have disappeared just like Apu,” rejoined Stegosaurus

“I know,” said Wuerhosaurus with sympathy. “The truth is that upon leaving Japan, Loricatosaurus decided to seek the unknown of her existence as I myself do, through meditation within. Accordingly she and her husband came to my home in Tibet and asked me how to become Buddhist. Her adoring husband who has long suffered the psychological effects of being nomen dubium agreed also, just for the sake of his love for his wife. He had taken an oath never to abandon his wife in her most dire time of need, and as proud as he was of his homeland France, he knew his wife was the only thing more important and he should never stomp away, avoiding his responsibility as her caregiver and companion. He understood the value of an oath, even with a brain the size of a walnut, unlike some mammals which could, but will not, be named.

“Sigh,” said Stegosaurus. “They are both good dinosaurs and will be missed immensely.”

Then, after a pause, Stegosaurus asked, “What other news do you have? Anything good? I find myself in sudden need of good news,”

“In the long run, the news is good for them,” answered Wuerhosaurus. “If they truly exist, complete fossils will be found; otherwise they will fade away; in the short 51 years since I was myself unearthed I have gained much spiritual peace and understanding. All partially discovered and nomen dubium dinosaurs deal with this and excel quite well. Be prepared for the peace, it will come when needed. Fear not.”

“This is good news,” admitted Stegosaurus. “Now let us leave my cave to dine in the woods. I learned of many tree species in class this year. I met a couple of trilobites in my travels and wish to tell you all about it.”

“I will be delighted to learn. Let us go to dine at once. I could give a break from that marvelous invention grass for a good tree or two.” And, so it was that Stegosaurus learned the fate of the French branch of his family, and the whole time he was in Colorado, his cousin Wuerhosaurus never mentioned them again. They entered the age of legend, and Stegosaurus was consoled by his many happy memories of his proud, Nationalistic cousin and his strong, resourceful, intelligent wife. Very briefly they appeared, simply because they were thought of, but stood silently without saying a word. Stegosaurus waved to them, with a tear in his eye.

Wuerhosaurus was practiced in peace, and sure in his path so he did not cry, but he did try to comfort Stegosaurus as Lexovissaurus and Loricatosaurus faded away, disappearing as quickly and suddenly as they had appeared.

“They may someday waken and return from Tibet, or fade into nothing in time,” said Wuerhosaurus. “What will be cannot be seen; but what you and I can do, Stegosaurus is pray for peace and remember fondly our cousins with full love in our hearts.”