On January 7th 2026 Iguanodon arrived at the Woolly Mammoth Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival, surprised to find Woolly Mammoth was not inside the Church or in his office. When he checked the prayer garden he found Kentrosaurus at work eating the lawn.

“Greetings, Kentrosaurus, my brother in Christ!” Iguanodon called out.

Iguanodon!” exclaimed Kentrosaurus. “God love you! What brings you to South Africa and how are things in lovely Maidstone?”

“Things are fine in my beloved hometown, thank you for asking. I came here to speak with Woolly Mammoth, but I see him not about.”

“True, my friend. Woolly Mammoth has left me in charge of the Church for the time being. He has gone to the city of Tannis for a meditation retreat, as the mammals have begun fighting in Nigeria and he hopes that prayers to God will end the conflict peacefully.”

“We should all pray for peace,” said Iguanodon.

“Come, my friend, help me eat the lawn, and then we shall both meditate for peace right here in the prayer garden.” said Kentrosaurus.

“You know, “ he then continued, “You are the second guest the Church has received since Woolly Mammoth departed for Tannis. “The other visitor is a hadrosaur named Edmontosaurus. He stopped by two or three days ago, on a visit from Colorado USA, the home of my cousin Stegosaurus.”

“Was he seeking the Lord Jesus?” asked Iguanodon.

“Naturally, I spoke to him about Jesus. He told me he will return to the Church with his family and I pray for another soul to accept the Lord.”

“I hope to meet him someday when I am here. I hope someday you will be able to visit me and my family as well as my Church in Maidstone, where I am a deacon.”

“He knows Woolly Mammoth is in meditation at Tannis but I encouraged him to return this Sunday and he said he would.”

It was then that Iguanodon and Kentrosaurus began the work of eating the lawn, and when they were full they followed the example of Woolly Mammoth and then began to pray and meditate together for peace around the world. They were in such a state remaining in the prayer garden until early morning of January 11th, when Kentrosaurus began to prepare for the week’s sermon which he had already planned and prepared as a sermon on St. John 16:32 -33.

Iguanodon departed at this time, in order to bring his family back to Church for the sermon.

After bidding a farewell to Iguanodon, Kentrosaurus turned his attention again to his sermon.

Taking a break for dinner, at dusk Kentrosaurus returned to the prayer garden, and as he serenely exhibited the 8th point of similarity with Brother Horse, Kentrosaurus was surprised to be visited by Ms. Giraffe.

“I know it is late, Kentrosaurus. I hope I am not disturbing you,” she said.

“Not at all, Ms. Giraffe. Welcome to Church. If you are seeking Woolly Mammoth he is not here at present.”

“That is okay, I heard that he is in Egypt presently, and was just wondering if you were giving a sermon in his stead this Sunday.”

“Yes, I am,” confirmed Kentrosaurus. “It is upon the Gospel of St. John 16:32-33. I hope you are well and not distressed.”

“I am well, but very concerned about the future since the mammals began fighting here,” confessed Ms. Giraffe. “I’m already endangered, and there are not as many of us living megafauna as there used to be,” she said, “I don’t want to become extinct.”

“Woolly Mammoth has gone to Tannis to pray,” said Kentrosaurus. “...and I pray that you will come to Church on Sunday, hear my sermon, and your fears be healed. Blessings be upon you.”

“I am glad to hear that there will be a sermon,” said Ms. Giraffe. “I will come to Church on Sunday. Good night, and God bless.”

“Thank you Ms. Giraffe.” said Kentrosaurus. “I look forward to seeing you on Sunday. Go in peace, surrounded by the love of Christ.”

Ms. Giraffe departed to her home on the African plain, and Kentrosaurus finished his dinner, having not confessed his own nervousness about the situation. He too was concerned about war, and the destruction it causes, also, this was the first time he had been asked to give a sermon during one of Woolly Mammoth’s absences. He tried to trust in the Lord, but could not help being nervous, especially with so many counting on him, from Ms. Giraffe, to the loyal Iguanodon family, and the reported newcomer to the Church, Edmontosaurus. He said a silent prayer to God as he blew out the candle in his study and prepared to sleep.

In the early Sunday morning January 18th Kentrosaurus gathered the pages of his sermon together and nervously looked over them before leaving his office and entering the narthex of the Woolly Mammoth Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival to greet the arrival of his friends and neighbors who had come to hear the word of the Lord. He saw Iguanodon and his whole family arriving; it was nice to see the loyal Iguanodon family whenever they ventured into Africa from their native England; Kentrosaurus noticed Edmontosaurus arriving behind Iguanodon and decided that after his sermon he would be sure to reach out and introduce himself to Edmontosaurus, who had come all the way from Colorado, United States.

Kentrosaurus saw some of the megafauna he expected to see, such as Widow Ground Sloth and her son Junior; Woolly Rhino and Western Black Rhino; He didn’t often see Spinosaurus in Church, but really didn’t expect it this week as the aquatic apex predator was probably resting from his recent trip around the world with Stegosaurus Claus; and he might also be particularly hungry and unpredictable since he undoubtedly had spent Christmas Eve being good and not eating the mammal children, or Stegosaurus Claus himself. Kentrosaurus also rarely saw Sister Quagga, who actually was arriving. As a well known devout atheist, she rarely remained in the Church for a sermon, but she sometimes visited the Church early before the sermon to visit with her friends, and then quietly and respectfully leave before the sermon began. Kentrosarurus hoped someday she’d stay to listen, and he prayed often for her soul. He appreciated that sometimes he’d go to the prayer garden after one of Woolly Mammoth’s sermons to find that she had trimmed the lawn of the prayer garden; she was such a kind and courteous animal and he always hoped for her the best. She was speaking with Ms. Giraffe, whom Kentrosaurus had been praying for since the visited his office at dusk.

Once everyone was settled, Kentrosaurus nervously cleared his throat and said, “Good morning, everyone, I am your groundskeeper here at the Woolly Mammoth Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival. You may have heard the news that the Mammals are fighting amongst themselves here in Nigeria, the United States feels it needs to be involved to protect the lives of Christians, and while this seems like a worthy cause on the surface, we know that all war leads to suffering and to help mitigate this, Woolly Mammoth has traveled to the Egyptian city of Tannis, where he has entered a state of deep meditation, praying for peace here in Africa, and in his absence, he has left me in charge of the care of the Church. I am used to this as he has done this very worthy act before, but this time there was something new, Woolly Mammoth asked me to give a sermon this morning on peace. I have been nervous, as this is my first time, so I hope you will be inspired by the verses I have chosen to speak on today, and go out into the world as you came here today, in a state of hopeful peace. There are a few of you who have come to me recently expressing fear and concern about the future. And I confess that a country such as ours, in a state of war as it is, as always frightening and leads to much uncertainty. But I advise you to lay aside your fears and give them to the Lord Jesus Christ, He will bear them, and be your comfort and peace in these dark and difficult times. Let me begin my sermon today on the Gospel of St. John 16:32-33, which I hope brings you peace and inspires to draw around you the love of Christ Jesus. “

“Brothers and Sisters in Christ, let us turn to the Lord Jesus and give Him our burdens. Peace is with you if you are with Jesus. We are told in the Gospel of St. John that these difficult times would come upon us, that the day would come when believers in Christ Jesus would face difficult times. John tells us plainly, “They will put you out of the synagogue; in fact, the time is coming when anyone who kills you will think they are offering a service to God. They will do such things because they have not known the Father or me.“

The Lord told us this, so that when we see these things in the World coming to pass, we would recall that He had, in his wisdom, warned us that these days would come. Furthermore, He said we would be filled with fear and grief at the news of this dire, dark time such as we are living through now. We have seen worse; meteors and comets come to mind, but our present age is also an age growing equally as dark, and we must remember that any age which has a beginning must also have an end. Focus upon the Lord Jesus, and know that though His warnings fill us with fear and uncertainty, we must also know that following Him will restore His peace to us. St. John says it is well that the Lord has departed from his disciples, as this will set into motion events that will bring our Advocate to us.

“When he comes, he will prove the world to be in the wrong about sin and righteousness and judgment: about sin, because people do not believe in me; about righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer;  and about judgment, because the prince of this world now stands condemned."

So, be not afraid, but be steadfast in your faith. This dark age will come to an end, and we must ever be vigilant in waiting for His return so that we will be ready to come when He calls us to Him. Fear not what others may think or say; if you are a believer and you have lived your ideal, and become the example that Jesus gave us, to hasten that day when He returns and restores Peace to the Nations in all the World. The Advocate will guide you to the Lord Jesus, and the Advocate will glorify Him, because it is from the Lord Jesus Himself that he receives the Good News which will lift the burdens from your hearts. You may weep and mourn now, while the rest of the World revels in its Worldly pleasures and delights in your pain. But, I assure you that your grieving will be transformed to joy. At first, you may not understand what others do, what they hear or see, but at the appointed time through Christ Jesus the Advocate will make all known. St. John gives us this example:

“A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy”.

A time will come, we are warned, when we shall not be near but scattered far from these lands and each other. When the Lord shall be alone; but God the Father is with Him, and at the appointed time, when Jesus returns to us, to bring Peace, we too, will be with God the Father. When this peace comes we will know all that we have come here to learn:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

So, fear not, Brothers and Sisters, for the Lord is with you even in your times of trial. He will shield you and give you strength and peace. I know these are difficult times in which we live, but when we accept the Lord Jesus Christ, he will be our protector and advocate before the throne of God. Whatever the wicked of the world inflict upon us, remember that we have accepted Jesus Christ and He will never leave us. Go in peace, this day, and make the world a better place for any and all of God’s creatures which you may encounter. Be that shining example, and it will manifest the peace you seek, and bring the light to combat the darkness around us all.”

Kentrosaurus knew his sermon was not even remotely close to the skill and conviction which Woolly Mammoth often portrayed, but he did the best he could and hoped that he had brought everyone in the Church closer to God in every way. At this point, Kentrosaurus sought to greet Edmontosaurus and hurried to the back row of pews to catch up with the duck billed dinosaur before he left the Church.

“Hail, Edmontosaurus!” Kentrosaurus exclaimed joyously. Edmontosaurus was with Iguanodon and his family, and both were intent upon leaving, but Edmontosaurus turned when he heard his name being called, and Iguanodon, who of course recognized Kentrosaurus’ voice, turned his head as well, and since he knew Kentrosaurus was particularly alert.

“Ah! Kentrosaurus! Let me introduce you to my friend Edmontosaurus. He’s glad to be here!” said Iguanodon. As Kentrosaurus approached, he gave warm greetings to the Iguanodon family, and to Edmontosaurus he said, “Greetings, It is Kentrosaurus, the groundskeeper and today, substitute preacher for the Woolly Mammoth Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival. I am sure you recall our previous discussion a few weeks ago when you first visited; I hope you enjoy your visit this morning, and greet you warmly in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. “

“A pleasure to meet you again, Kentrosaurus. I am glad to meet you as I have heard so much about you from our mutual friends, the Iguanodon family. I do find your sermon to be uplifting, you convey well Christ’s promise to us, the hope of salvation through His blood.”

“Thank you for saying that, brother. I hope you will return, to hear the Word again, and in time, Woolly Mammoth will return from his meditation retreat in the ancient city of Tannis, and with his skill the Word of God will be brought to you by a true student of his Word, Woolly Mammoth himself. He is very modest and God fearing; I know you will like him but in the meantime please be glad to accept my own hospitality. Let us meet in the prayer garden in a moment, once the crowd thins out here and you can tell me all about yourself.”

“I would like that very much,” said Edmontosaurus.

Kentrosaurus then mingled with the congregation, greeting them and wishing them a very well Sunday morning as they all departed to their homes, mostly somewhere on the African plain.

It was early afternoon when Kentrosaurus ventured to the prayer garden, and found Edmontosaurus in prayer. He did not disturb his new Hadrosaur friend, instead as hce had earlier with Iguanodon, he said a prayer for peace and followed the example, entering a state of meditation. Both dinosaurs woke from their meditative state at the same time, and Kentrosaurus said, “It has been a pleasure to meet you and to meditate with you here in our prayer garden. “

“The pleasure is mine. I am glad to be here,” said Edmontosaurus. “I will be happy to tell you all about me. I am pleased to make your acquaintance.”

“Feel free to tell me your story, and I will listen,” said Kentrosaurus.

“I am a Hadrosaur originally Anatosaurus meaning Duck Lizard, but was reclassified as Edmontosaurus meaning “Lizard from Edmonton”. Edmonton is in Canada, but I have also been found mummified in North Dakota, you know, so I spend most of my time in my adopted America, particularly North Dakota. I was discovered by Professor Lawrence Lambe ( 1863 ~ 1919 ) in 1917. On average I am 39 feet long and weigh 6 short tons. I am distinctive by the fact that unlike many of my species, I was not born with a really cool looking head crest like other Hadrosaurs, such as Corythosaurus. I am from the late Cretaceous Period roughly 66 million years ago. Aside from being found in places like Edmonton, Alberta , Canada, North Dakota, Colorado, even Alaska. I have lived all over the place, and had many names. Anatosaurus and Edmontosaurus are two examples but I was also once classified as Trachodon, though once my name changed Trachodon became nomen dubium and joined the ranks of those who don’t exist, the nomen dubium. I am proud of his accomplishments and gregarious attitude. He also understands the value of public service, having worked for so long with the Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency, if I could be anyone else, it would be him, and not just because I once was him.”

“It is understandable, Hadrosaurs, like Stegosaurs, are very social creatures as you know we all travel in groups of like animals of many ages," said Kentrosaurus.

"Again, I say, I am very pleased to meet you,” said Edmontosaurus. When ever I visit South Africa I will stop by and listen to your inspiring sermons. You can find me all over the place as you know. Sometimes I am here in America and sometimes in Canada but if I am aware that you are looking for me, I will come here to the Woolly Mammoth Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival and pay yo a visit.”

“We will be very pleased to see you again, by friend. Stay here as long as you please, a guest of the Church, and when called away to any other place in the world, carry the light of the Lord with you and know that when you come back here, no matter where else you call home, you will always have one here.”

“Thank you, Kentrosaurus,” said Edmontosaurus. “You are an exceptional preacher and a wonderful host.”

Edmontosaurus remained in South Africa at the Church through the remainder of January, departing for a visit with Styracosaurus in Canada, where he spent the first two weeks of February.

Kentrosaurus was delighted to have made a new friend and could not wait to introduce him to his cousin Stegosaurus.

On December 5th 2025 Stegosaurus Claus was at his workshop in Brazil preparing to float forthrightly on his raft to pick up Spinosaurus in South Africa so they may proceed on their annual trip around the world bringing presents, joy and goodwill to all the world. This is a routine he was very much used to as he had agreed to this arrangement with Spinosaurus for several years now.

This is why he was genuinely surprised to see Spinosaurus arrive at the door of his Workshop just as he was about to stomp forthrightly out of the door.

“Hello, there, Stegosaurus Claus,” said Spinosaurus, barely able to fit his head through the window.

“What are you doing here, Spinosaurus? I was just about to stomp forthrightly to my raft, and float forthrightly to South Africa to make sure you could accompany me on my annual trip around the world.”

“This year I decided to surprise you and show up on your doorstep to show gratitude for your continued trust in me these last few years. I know it is hard for a plant eater like you to trust a meat eating apex predator like me.”

“I know it must be hard not to let nature take its course,” said Stegosaurus Claus, “I appreciate your honesty and genuine restraint. May the blessings of the Holy Time of Christmas be with you, my friend. I look forward to our annual adventure of traveling together, provided you always remember the rule about not eating me or the mammal children.”

“I will, but before we go I must find something I can eat; something that will stick to my ribs to fortify me before our long journey,” said Spinosaurus.

“It may seem odd for a plant eater to make this recommendation, but as we are friends I will do you a kindness. May I suggest helping the mammals of Brazil to thin the herds of wild boars? It would be very helpful as the species has become invasive here.”

“A fine suggestion! A good meal, and a public service in the Spirit of the Christmas Season,” said Spinosaurus. “Pork is, after all a very traditional Christmas meal.”

“I shall return to your workshop within ten days ready to embark on our annual adventure of Peace and Goodwill. ”With that, Spinosaurus departed, and Stegosaurus Claus smiled, thinking about how domesticated Spinosaurus acted every Christmas Season. He knew better to think that Spinosaruus was perpetually changed; his nature was to eat meat, but over the last 19 years he had learned restraint in honor of the Christmas Holiday.

Stegosaurus Claus accepted Judaism as his religion, but he also kept an advent wreath beside his menorah and treated any other religion of honest faith in Goodwill this time of Season with kindness.

As he paused in reverence before his Seasonal display, he was surprised by another visitor.

“Season’s Greetings, Stegosaurus Claus!” said Tyrannosaurus Rex.

“Tyrannosaurus Rex! What a Surprise!” exclaimed Stegosaurus Claus. “Please, do not eat me, I beg of you, to recall that this is a Season of love and charity and there are many millions of dinosaurs, megafauna and mammals looking forward to my annual visit this year. I don’t want to let the mammal children down by becoming your dinner.”

“Fear not, I ate a few wild boars on my way over here; I am not planning to eat you or anyone else at the moment.”

“May I ask what brings you to Brazil during my busiest time of year?” asked Stegosaurus Claus.

“Well, honestly, I was hoping I had stomped here early enough in the Advent Season to ask you if I might accompany you on your annual journey around the World. I want to spread goodwill, cheer and love to all. I feel so moved this time of year to prove to the World that I may be a very large and dangerous predator who rules the late Mesozoic, but in spite of my reputation I want to prove that the Christmas Season’s message has a positive effect on everyone, even me.”

“Tryrannosaurus Rex, I am sincerely moved….” Stegosaurus Claus began, but the conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Spinosaurus carrying a decaptated boar in one claw, with its head in his other.

“Stegosaurus Claus!” Spinosaurus exclaimed loudly. “I know you’re a vegetarian; have you any Bay leaves or Rosemary? I’ve got a Boar’s head, and I want to make a traditional Christmas dinner.”

Then Spinosaurus saw Tryrannosaurus Rex, and he stopped stomping abruptly, dropping the Boar’s head.

“Oh. Hello, Tyrannosaurus Rex. Happy Holidays! How are things in Montana this time of year?”

“What a surprise! Glad to see you Spinosaurus. It has been a while. I haven’t seen you since you defeated me in Jurassic Park III !! Montana is a lot colder than it used to be 70 million years ago; the climate is a bit more like it used to be here in Brazil,” said Tyrannosaurus Rex. “I am actually seeking warmer weather, one of the reasons I am here.”

“I hope that in the Spirit of Christmas you will forgive me for winning our fight filmed in Jurassic Park III. Please join me for Christmas dinner, I am having a Boar’s head, and probably the rest of the Boar too.”

“Our Battle Royale was the one scene that made it worth doing the film. We’ll have to have a rematch, but after Christmas.” rejoined Tyrannosaurus Rex.

“Please, no fighting during Christmas,” begged Stegosaurus Claus, worried that the natural inlcination of the two apex predators would override any Christmas sentiment they had promised him due to this unexpected meeting of the two rivals.

“To answer your question, Spinosaurus, yes I do have Bay leaves and Rosemary in my garden. You may have some, but please don’t eat your Boar in my workshop. There is plenty of time for you to enjoy a Christmas dinner with Tyrannosaurus Rex before I must go on my annual trip around the world.”

“Will you not answer my request?” Tyrannosaurus Rex asked Stegosaurus Claus.

Although Stegosaurus Claus was not even remotely a violent Spirit, he readied his cool, spiky tail in case Tyrannosaurus Rex took the response to his question in a negative way.

“Tyrannosaurus Rex, I sincerely hope that you will not take this news badly, but Spinosarus has arrived here early for the first time ever. Usually I travel to South Africa to pick him up, but here he is already arrived, and I would hate to discourage him by asking him to stomp aside.” said Stegosaurus Claus.

“I will not put you on the spot, Stegosaurus Claus, but in the Spirit of the Season, I will make Tryranosaurus Rex a promise: If you let me travel with Stegosaurus Claus this year, I will remain in South Africa next year, and you can travel with Stegosaurus Claus on his annual trip next year.”

“How generous of you,” said Tyrannosaurus Rex.

“You aren’t afraid of Tyrannosaurus Rex, are you, Stegosaurus Claus?” asked Spinosaurus.

“Because of your generous offer, Spinosaurus, I will let Tyrannosaurus Rex travel with me in 2026.

“Tyrannosaurus Rex may be the King of Tyrant Lizards, but he also knows that I wield a cool, spiky tail, that I will use, to defend my life. I must defend myself for the sake of the young mammal children around the world who expect me to give them presents. It would break with my character to be violent, but I am thinking of the children.”

“I would cross my heart if I could reach it with my tiny hands,” said Tyrannosaurus Rex.

“Very well, it is settled!” declared Stegosaurus Claus, as he stomped into his Workshop to work on toys he was bringing on his trip this year.

Tyrannosaurus Rex pulled Spinosaurus aside and asked him in confidence, “Spinosaurus, may I ask if you can share some confidential information.”

“I am not sure,” said Spinosaurus.

“Well it can’t hurt to ask. I was wondering if you could tell me if you know what I am going to get for Christmas. I hope it isn’t another set of arm extenders. You have no idea how many of those I have.”

“You don’t want to be surprised?” asked Spinosaurus.

“Don’t be fooled by the fact that I am 30 feet tall and have teeth between 9 and 12 inches. I may be an apex predator like you, but when it comes to Christmas I assure you I am as giddy and excited as a small mammal child.”

“Okay, well, as long as you promise to keep this secret.” said Spinosaurus.

I would cross my heart if I could reach it with my tiny hands,” said Tyrannosaurus Rex.

“I have it on good authority, from the Jolly old Stegosaurus Stenops himself that all dinosaurs this year will be getting a meteor insurance policy, and the Ice Age Megafauna will be getting a comet insurance policy.”

“Oh how exciting! I need my policy for meteors renewed! I wonder how Stegosaurus Claus knows,” pondered Tyrannosaurus Rex, trying his best to look pensive.

“If there’s one thing I have learned these last few years,” said Spinosaurus, “Stegosaurus Claus knows. It’s his job to know; he always knows.”

“I shall leave you to your dinner, and head back to Montana to wait for my turn next year,” said Tyrannosaurus Rex.

“Before you go, please do dine with me, The boar you see here isn’t the only one I have; I have been hunting.“

“You mean, you would share with me?” asked Tyrannosaurus Rex.

“In the name of Christmas, I will,” said Spinosaurus.

“God bless us, everyone!” said Tyrannosaurus Rex.

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Stegosaurus built a raft and left Colorado, USA on November 1st, with a plan to float forthrightly to New Zealand to spend time watching his friends, the Moa Birds. He was a little bit concerned, because he knew his good friends were among those who usually took part in his Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency, and yet they did not answer the call at all this summer, for the trips that the Agency took to Pennsylvania, OR Texas. With deep concern, and yet hoping for the best, he floated as fast as he could ( that is, forthrightly ), to the land of New Zealand.

When he arrived in the steep, mountainous upland hills of one of his favorite bird watching spot, he did not see the usual herd of Moas in their accustomed spot; he did observe a Haast's Eagle circling the sky above, but it was too far away to notice him and engage in conversation. He paused to eat two or three Podocarpus totara which hit the spot as he had not eaten since leaving Colorado, and in his concern for his friends he'd left abruptly, not bringing any food for travel. The totara were delicious, he had to admit, even though his mind was occupied with concern for his friends. He began to search up and down, far and wide calling out for the Moas, and it was not until he returned the upland hills in which he'd started and first arrived late on the 4th day, when he found the usual herd of upland Moas in their usual grazing spot, and he called out a hearty greeting in relief at the sight of his friends.

“Hail! My friends, the Moa Birds!” Stegosaurus called. I am so glad to see you!”

“Stegosaurus! Nice to see you again! Come graze with us, upon the upland hills!” the Moa called back heartily.

Stegosaurus stomped closer so that he didn’t have to shout, and asked the leader of the Moa herd.

“I was worried about you this summer. You did not answer the call when the Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency went into action in Pennsylvania and Texas."

“Yes, I know, Stegosaurus, “ said Moa,

“I am so sorry, but we had some important business to attend to with the mammals at Colossal Biosciences. As you are aware, we Moa have been extinct for 600 or so years, somewhere around 1445 AD and when we heard that Colossal Biosciences was planning to de-extinct us, we thought it best to contact them and offer some fresh DNA to bring their project some success. We are really excited about the prospect of becoming de-extinct.”

“I am not upset, but just concerned,” assured Stegosaurus. “What delightful news, I’ve heard how well De-extinction went for Dire Wolf.”

“I am glad you are not upset,” said Moa.

“Now please, come graze with us, you can watch us as you usually do, we will have a grand time, looking all bucolic, and all that.”

So Stegosaurus grazed together with his friends, sometimes stomping back to a distance, to watch his friends enjoy their meals and dream of day when he too, would be a bird, and even though the Moa could not fly, that he would someday soar among the Heavens, as he had seen birds do in the modern times. Oh, how he wished evolution would hurry up and make his dreams come true.

Stegosaurus followed as the Moa herd migrated to a slightly lower, swampy area. And he struck up a conversation, curious as to know the mammals’ motives for wanting to de-extinct the Moas.

“Can you tell me, if you know, what are the motives of the mammals who want to help you become de-extinct? Is there a specific reason that you have been chosen now, or is the decision entirely random?”

“The mammals want not only to help us, Dire Wolves and Mammoths, but they also have big grandiose plans for preserving the environment of the planet,” explained Moa. The details are rather involved and confusing to us, but we have our own reasons for wanting to be de-extinct; as you know being extinct is a real drag, and collectively we had the idea to help the mammals by giving them some of our DNA directly, rather than having them use one of our fossils, or mummies of our extinct brothers and sisters which may be found here in New Zealand caves and marshes which used to exist here like we did.” explained Moa.

“It is not just because of what health we might return to the planet’s ecosystem, repopulating the highlands and marshes here, not just what the return of the Dire Wolves and Mammoths might do, but also how existing endangered species of animals might be saved the indignity of extinction as the earth’s natural spaces are restored to their full, wild, natural glory and we thrive accordingly.”

“It is a bold effort,” observed Stegosaurus. “The mammals always have grandiose plans, and I admit many of them sound worthy and good. The things one can do with a larger brain!”

“The mammals have a lot of dreams and ambitions, and these ambitions can be easily distorted, and lead them astray if they are not careful. I know there are terrible consequences if this effort is derailed, but it also has so much potential for good, for us, for all animals and the Earth itself. We are all hopeful of the future, and know that you, as our friend, share this hope, that the plans these mammals plan, and the dreams these mammals dream come true just as they were concieved.” Rejoined Moa.

Stegosaurus relaxed and watched his Moa friends for a while, and then joined them in grazing on marsh grasses and they also ate more Podocarpus totara. Stegosaurus then brought the Moa Birds some aloe plants which he had stored on his raft for travel, which the grateful Moa Birds had never tried. They were delighted and thankful. After a restful few weeks with his friends in the beautiful country of New Zealand, Stegosaurus bid farewell to his friends who promised not to abandon the Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency when he called again. Stegosaurus wished them luck in their de-extinction efforts with Colossal Bio sciences, and then, slowly but surely floated forthrightly home. He was back at his cave in Colorado by November 16th.

Latest Project: Bring The Moa Back To Life!

Doctor Stegosaurus returned to his office Cave in Boulder Colorado on October 1st.

He had opened his practice in June, but as emergencies required the services of the Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency. He had not been at home long enough to see or treat any patients. Now he had a line of needy patients lined up outside the entrance of his Office cave, but this did not alarm him; being a socialist, Stegosaurus saw long lines as a normal feature of healthcare.

“My first patients in line were Widow Ground Sloth and her son Junior,” said Doctor Stegosaurus.

“What is wrong, Widow Ground Sloth, that you and Junior should come all the way from South Africa to see me?”

“Oh, Doctor Stegosaurus,” said a very worried Widow Ground Sloth, “Junior and I are very hale and hearty. We are just fine, but the problem is many of the trees in our grove! They are developing black spots on them! I wonder, is it safe for the tree? Will the trees so afflicted live or die? Are their leaves and bark safe to eat? I’m very worried about Junior; he’s a growing sloth, and I worry about the negative impact on his long term health! Please help!”

“Do you have a sample for me to inspect?” asked Doctor Stegosaurus.

“I do,” confirmed Widow Ground Sloth, a very distressed mother. “I didn’t eat any of it on the way here; I figured it would be useful for you to make an accurate diagnosis.”

“Good move,” affirmed Doctor Stegosaurus, who inspected the leaf intently upon its being presented by Widow Ground Sloth.

“Very interesting,” said Doctor Stegosaurus. “it appears that the trees of your grove suffer from a case of fungi, which may be a form of parasitic alga such as (Cephaleuros virescens).”

“Oh dear,” said Widow Ground Sloth. “This sounds fatal to our beloved grove. Are the leaves safe to eat, Doctor Stegosaurus?”

“Has it been cool and rainy in South Africa lately?” inquired Doctor Stegosaurus.

“Yes, it has,” confirmed Widow Ground Sloth.

“This is what has caused the fungus to grow and multiply so quickly. It is unsightly, but will not harm you or your son Junior. It will not kill any tree in your grove.”

“Thank you Doctor Stegosaurus. I have had a long journey to get here, but this news and peace of mind is worth the long journey.”

“Fear not and be well,” said Doctor Stegosaurus, as Widow Ground Sloth and Junior departed happily back to South Africa.

Then, Doctor Stegosaurus called in his second patient, and it was Iguanodon, who had also come a long way, from Maidstone, England.

“Iguanodon!” exclaimed Doctor Stegosaurus. “Another visitor from a distant shore! You have traveled far! What malady brings you to the shores of America?”

“Ah, friend Doctor Stegosaurus, I am doing very well, and my family has been blessed by the grace of God with good health as well. The problem is with our hardwood trees within my wife’s garden.”

“What is the matter with them? Did you bring leaves for me to inspect?” asked Doctor Stegosaurus.

“Yes, I fear we will shortly have a less ornamental garden in our backyard if this disease is allowed to progress. Here they are, leaves of the Birch trees.

Iguanodon presented his leaves to Doctor Stegosaurus for inspection, and Doctor Stegosaurus peered at them closely and nibbled at one of the leaves after sniffing it.

“Hmmmm….” said Doctor Stegosaurus. “It appears your backyard’s trees are suffering from a fungal disease common to hardwoods known as Anthracnose. This disease primarily affects the leaves, but can also from time to time affect the tree’s stems. The damage may be moderate or severe, but in any case there is little we can do to save this delicious duo of trees in or near your yard. Brown spots and blotches are common and are also known by the name leaf blight.

While this is usually only a cosmetic issue, twig dieback may occur, and if allowed to progress in an extreme state, may be fatal to your trees. The remedy here may be eating of the leaves that have fallen, pruning back the dead twigs, and water your trees regularly. This disease is not fatal to you and yours; send my regards to your lovely wife, please, but fear not for her yourself or your children. Your family will not become extinct in eating of these leaves.”

"I am relieved, Doctor Stegosaurus. Thank you and God bless you.”

As Iguanodon left happily to return to his home in England, Doctor Stegosaurus awaited his next patient, which he found, much to his surprise, was his brother Allosaurus !!!

“Brother Allosaurus! What brings you here today?” asked Doctor Stegosaurus. “Please be kind and don’t eat me today!”

“Ah, Doctor Stegosaurus, for some reason you always think I am hungry and going to eat you but I am completely innocent and just stomped by to see how you are and congratulate you on your recent graduation and opening of your medical practice. I am innocent and a mere, humble, meat eating theropod just trying to get by in the world.” rejoined Allosaurus.

“In that case, I accept your compliment, but you have to understand your history and our longstanding sibling rivalry. It is hard to believe you when you have in your possession such sharp claws and teeth as you do. Remember, I may be a herbivore with only 64 teeth designed for roots and low hanging vegetation, “ but I do have a cool, spiky tail and I will not hesitate to use it if I feel I need to defend myself.”

“I heard how you became a millionaire, Doctor Stegosaurus. I am proud of you and your mother. Have you seen her or our father Professor Marsh lately?” asked Allosaurus.

“I have not seen my mother in some time. I know she loves me, though she left me a 44.6 million dollar trust fund, by being an early investor in broadleaf trees; our mutual father, Professor O.C. Marsh I have not seen at all since March 18th, 1899; I am not sure what he has been up to lately, but he must be very busy discovering dinosaurs and Ice Age megafauna.”

“Indeed,” said Allosaurus.

“You aren’t going to try and convince me that you have a problem with a grove of trees or ornamental shrubbery, are you? Because, being a skeptic after more than 140 Million years experience with you, I must say I do not believe you in all honesty.” said Doctor Stegosaurus.

“What can I do to convince you I am merely stopping by to wish you well?” asked Allosaurus.

“Eat less red meat,” suggested Doctor Stegosaurus.

“Awwwww, gee, but I don’t have the teeth for being a vegetarian. I’m innocent, I tell you. I won’t even have a mid life crisis and think about becoming a plant eater. I like meat too well.” rejoined Allosaurus.

“Don’t tell me your favorite meat is….Stegosaurus ribs.”

“How did you guess??”

“You are impossible!” exclaimed Doctor Stegosaurus. “Please, let me get back to my patients, Allosaurus it has been nice to see you and thank you for your good wishes.”

“Well, if I can’t have Stegosaurus ribs, can I at least have a Stegosaurus hip?”

“No, you may not! I’m proud of my ornithischian hips, they prove that someday I’m going to evolve into a Red Tailed Hawk, so I am sure to need all the bird-hips I can get. Sorry.”

“Well, okay, then. I guess I’ll go see if Brontosaurus will let me eat him for a while. Let me part by saying I am sure you won’t be a Red Tailed Hawk when you evolve you are more likely to be a band tailed pigeon.”

“I will take the high road and not be angry with you if you leave now and let me attend to my patients. If you see Brontosaurus, tell him I said hi.” said Doctor Stegosaurus

Thus, Allosaurus departed, and Doctor Stegosaurus spent the rest of the day treating the tree diseases brought to his attention.

A Stegosaurus Meme

The Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency arrived in Kerr County, Texas on August 13th. Although the flooding had occurred in early July, July 4th & 5th, there was still plenty of work to be done, and mammals that needed help.

Stegosaurus and Ankylosaurus stood beside the Guadalupe River, which was still running higher than normal.

“It is important to consider, “ said Stegosaurus, “....that there are still mammals in need, even after their news

departments have moved onto other things.”

“I agree,” said Ankylosaurus, “I am so glad to have had this experience with you and the rest of the Agency. This has been hard work, but very uplifting.”

The Sauropods were in the river, quite happy, but also working to drink some of the water to reduce the flood conditions. Since they were large enough to do so they made bridges out of themselves where necessary, and all the while Nigersaurus was now singing “The Old Dun Cow.”

Brachiosaurus observed to Apatosaurus and Diplodocus that the Guadalupe River rose 26 feet in 45 minutes, and in this tragedy 135 mammals became extinct, including 20 children.”

“How very sad,” observed Stegosaurus, overhearing this grim statistic. “The children who love me so, for some reason. We must save and help whomever we can.” Stegosaurus began to work more quickly , appearing to become even more determined as he wept openly for the small mammal children.

“This river is too high yet, we must stop singing and drink more!” declared Nigersaurus.

“Along the Texas Hill Country area on July 5th the equivalent of 4 months of rain fell in one day,” observed Woolly Rhino. “How terribly tragic,” said Western Black Rhino. “I wish we had been here to save them.”

“What is done is done. Tragically, extinction is forever, but they are in a better place now with their God.” said Trachodon.

“A wise observation,” said Woolly Rhino. “Tonight we must pray for their souls to have found comfort in the arms of their Savior. We must also inform Woolly Mammoth and Kentrosaurus so they too, can pray for the souls of these lost mammals.”

Agathaumas and Trachodon proceeded together to the shore, where they helped Rhedosaurus and Lady Rhedosaurus carry dirt and sand in order to work on shoreline stabilization.

“We have come to help you,” called Agathumas.

“Glad to have you in on this project!” declared Lady Rhedosuarus. “Many claws make short work.”

“You’ll be proud of me,” Rhedosaurus told his beloved wife. “I got hungry before work, but I did not eat a policeman.”

“I am proud of you, my beloved.” responded Lady Rhedosaurus.

“Do you remember that armored vehicle we saw when we first entered the State of Texas?” asked Rhedosaurus.

“Yes,” his wife confirmed hesitantly.

“I ate the two armed guards, and they almost tasted like policemen. I felt it was a nice compromise.”

Lady Rhedosaurus sighed and shook her head.

Stegosaurus and Ankylosaurus climbed up on a hill beside the Guadalupe River where they rested and found a nice patch of Salvia pentstemonoides. Which they heartily dined upon.

“I thought the work we performed in Export, Pennsylvania was exhausting,” said Ankylosaurus but the work here is much harder and heartbreaking. Though I am certainly glad to be involved.”

“We’re glad to have you and hope you will return to help us when the emergencies of our times have need for our services,” said Stegosaurus.

“I will try to when I can, but when we have completed here I must return to Montana and my support group for partially discovered dinosaurs.”

“I understand,” said Stegosaurus. The work you do there is equally important.”

Then, Ankylosaurus exclaimed in surprise, "Stegosaurus, we've been here before."

"Why yes, I have visited Texas before," said Stegosaurus. "You sound alarmed, what is wrong?"

"I ma not alarmed, but rather, surprised. Look what I have found. Dinosaur Footprints. These are not recent, from our time here now, they are much older."

"Interesting," said Stegosaurus, who stomped over forthrightly to have a look.

"You're right," he confirmed."There are sauropod prints here, but these prints are not from Apatosaurus, Diplodocus, or any of the sauropods with the Disaster Relief Agency at the moment. These are about 65 - 70 mllion years old, before the metor fell from the sky."

"The mammals who study science tell us that we walked around the State of Texas a lot in the time before the meteor, and before Pangea split into multiple continents." rejoined Ankylosaurus.

Then Stegosaurus gasped.

"Look!" Stegosaurus exclaimed. "The prints of meat eating theropods!"

"Uh oh!" said Ankylosaurus, immediately assuming a defensive posture. "Do you think we are in any danger?"

"No." assured Stegosuarus.

"These prints do look like they might be prints of my brother Allosaurus, or maybe even Tyrannosaurus Rex, but they're also prints just as old as the sauropod prints that you found. We are likely safe, but if Brother Allosaurus shows up, or Tyrannosaurus Rex, we have our tails to protect us, and safety in numbers."

"I will go tell the mammals of our discovery, they like to preserve our ancient prints."

"...and since it happens to be muddy here," said Stegosaurus, "I will make some new prints for them to enjoy now or sometime in the distant future."

The Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency remained in Kerr County, Texas from mid August to the end of September, the mammals there were grateful to have received their help in their recovery efforts.