In the final week of May Stegosaurus stomped up to Washington DC at the behest of his good friend Congresssaurus Triceratops, the long respected leader of the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus. The three horned faced Congresssaurus declared the matter most urgent and requested Stegosaurus come to him at his earliest convenience. Stegosaurus was perplexed and concerned; he had spent so much time in Florida this Spring that he had not been following the news. The two dinosaurs met outside the Smithsonian's Natural History Museum. They could not go inside, because the Dinosaur Hall is still under construction.

"Thank you for coming, friend Stegosaurus," said Congresssaurus Triceratops, appearing slightly distressed. "I am glad to see you. This matter is most urgent, and I must speak with you about it at once."

"What is it?" asked Stegosaurus, concerned. "Are you well?" he asked, thinking, "I hope he won't ask me to run for office again; I am happy at home in the tranquil pursuit of gardening and science; I have no ambition to govern mammal or dinosaur."

"Be at ease," assured Congresssaurus Triceratops. "I am well, the matter has nothing to do with my health."

"I am so glad to hear it," rejoined Stegosaurus. "Obviously, though, something is amiss. You do not look at ease yourself."

"I am not," conceded Congresssaurus Triceratops. "Let me begin at the beginning. On the first of this month I attended a local production here of the Broadway show Finian's Rainbow, and left the theatre humming the tune "How Are Things In Glocca Morra?" to myself. Stomping back to my Senate chamber, I then stopped and some birds in the trees spoke to me, you know they're my descendants."

"They're mine, too", observed Stegosaurus. "I'm even bird - hipped!"

"You may have noticed that the mammals of Washington DC are investigating each other for suspected ties to Russia of late," said Congresssaurus Triceratops.

"I may have heard something about that before leaving for Florida," said Stegosaurus. "An unfortunate situation. They should spend more time helping each other."

"I know," agreed Congresssaurus Triceratops, and then he continued: "The mammals are so rabid to find connections to Russia everywhere and in everything that some anonymous source has informed me that another anonymous source will investigate me for serving as a Soviet spy because I attended that particular play, which references birds, and because I spoke to birds on Government property."

"That is absurd," said Stegosaurus. "Are you sure these mammals are using their larger brains?"

"Somehow I doubt it," said Congresssaurus Triceratops. "If it were just that, I'd weather the storm as I did the year that Congress denied my very existence. But this time there's more."

"More? You're kidding!" said Stegosaurus.

"Sadly I am not. A third anonymous source told my second anonymous source that told my first anonymous source that the mammals want
my monument at the National Zoo taken down."

"The mammals in this city have lost their minds!" observed Stegosaurus. "I am so glad to have lost my Senate bid in 2008. What has your monument to do with Russia? I thought the mammals were done with their Cold War in 1991."

Congresssaurus Triceratops continued, "The triplicate anonymous source heard from a fourth anonymous source that a group of mammals were marching around my monument the other night carrying torches and chanting that 'Russia is our friend!' and subsequently it has been branded a gathering place for racists and it is hard for me to accomplish anything now."

"Does anyone do anything under their own name in this town, or is everyone anonymous?" asked Stegosaurus.

"Increasingly I think not," said Congresssaurus Triceratops, tears welling in his eyes. "I've served in a public capacity for over 70 million years though many forms of mammal government, and even before mammals were on the scene .... but I have not seen things this polarized since I was in the Roman Senate some 500 years ago. If the mammals stopped being anonymous around here and put their names to their actions, they'd have to actually be nice, and then they might accidentally solve a problem. For example it will cost $700,000 dollars to move my monument; money that would be better used repairing and improving public roads and services. They could donate money to a homeless shelter or orphanage. They could give money to universities that aid the education of their minority groups. They could stop believing every bit of propaganda they hear and read a book about me so that they know the good things I have accomplished in all my years of public service, and all that science has learned about me since I was discovered in 1889 by Professor Marsh. But maybe that's too much to ask."

"I am so sorry," said Stegosaurus. "Removing a monument is a disservice to the educations of millions of future citizens. What are you going to do about it?"

"I just don't think I'm going to run for re election in 2018," said Congresssaurus Triceratops. "I think I could accomplish much more outside these corrupt marble halls. Maybe I will join you in the pursuit of gardening and science. Have you extracted sunlight from cucumbers yet?"

"No, that I have not," conceded Stegosaurus. "Come help me anytime. I'm sure that if the two of us put our heads together we can solve the problem. I think if I could extract sunlight from cucumbers it might benefit the environment considerably. What will happen to the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus? Who will lead it?"

"I have not yet discussed my leaving with them; I have only told you. The new leader will be a choice for them to make at some point in time down the road," rejoined Congressaurus Triceratops. "Now speaking of roads, I must stomp over to Wyoming and visit with my constituents in June. I will, if you'd like stomp by Colorado and visit you on your 140 million and 11th birthday. Then, we may discuss the extracting of sunlight from delicious, delicious cucumbers."

"You are welcome to visit," said Stegosaurus. "You will find gardening and science much less stressful than mammal politics in Washington DC. This I know to be most certain."

It was so observed in the Spring that Dire Wolf kept his word and traveled from the La Brea Tar Pits in California USA to Johannesburg South Africa in order to visit Woolly Mammoth's Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival as he had promised in August, 2016.

Kentrosaurus was outside trimming the hedges, ( but not eating the flowers ) when Dire Wolf arrived on Sunday, May 14th inst.,

"I am so overjoyed to see you!" exclaimed Kentrosaurus. "I rejoice that you have kept your word and come all this way to hear the Word of the Lord."

"A long journey have I made, Kentrosaurus, a very long journey. A pilgrimage it was just as in the Medieval age of mammals."

"Indeed! Welcome!" said Kentrosaurus. "Make yourself at home, brother Dire Wolf; I shall return anon with Woolly Mammoth. He shall rejoice to see thee, and I am sure provide a sermon for thy Spiritual well being."

Woolly Mammoth was at the rear of the Church, in the Prayer Garden, washing statues of Jesus and Saint Francis of Assisi with his trunk.

several varieties of song birds were chirping gaily, so accustomed to the presence of Woolly Mammoth that they were in no ways afraid of him.

The sun was shining, and there was not a cloud in the sky; a light, warm, pleasant breeze moved through Woolly Mammoth's wool, and he rejoiced in the late Spring harbinger of a delightful Summer and the joy the Season would bring.

"Woolly Mammoth! I must speak with you!" said Kentrosaurus.

"Of course, Kentrosaurus. What can I do for you, this fine day? I do hope all is well, canst thou hear thy relatives, the birds? How wonderful they sing, only the angels of the Lord may be more of a divine choir."

"Indeed, sir. Indeed. I ask if you recall Dire Wolf from our revival last summer in California at La Brea."

"Indeed I do recall him. I do think we saved his soul."

"You will rejoice to know that Dire Wolf is a wolf of his word. He promised to come to South Africa to see thee, and behold! He is here in the front yard, having traveled all the way from the United States."

"Bless the Lord Jesus. Our work has borne fruit. I have saved a soul."

"I know the morning sermon has passed; but will you provide some word from the Holy Book for him? He has come such a long way."


"Of course I will. At once."

And at once Woolly Mammoth and Kentrosaurus went to the front of the Church where Dire Wolf waited.

"Greetings brother Dire Wolf! I understand you have come a long way to see me and hear the Word of the Lord. Welcome to my home, and the Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival."

"Yes I have made a mighty pilgrimage, Woolly Mammoth. I felt compelled by your sermon last summer to seek the light of the Lord Jesus Christ, King of Kings."

"Come to the garden with me. Kentrosaurus, you may leave your work on the hedges for the time being. We shall go 'round back and relax in the garden for a time. I feel compelled to give an impromptu sermon on Proverbs 10:29."

"Thank you sir," said Kentrosaurus.

Returned to the garden, Woolly Mammoth began his sermon.

"Brothers and sisters, birds of the air, Kentrosaurus, and brother Dire Wolf who has journeyed far to see us and hear the word of Christ, welcome. This afternoon, I feel compelled to speak upon The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 10 verse 29."

"Verily, The Good Book's wisdom says to us, "The Way of the Lord is a refuge for the righteous; but it is the ruin of those who do evil.
When troubles beset thee, trust in the Lord to see thee through them. Justice will prevail for those who believe, though times are tough and it may seem that evil prevails, The Lord will guard against thy ruin. Those who commit evil against their neighbor will, in turn be visited by evil, because their actions will condemn them to face their crimes before the Judge on Most High. Perhaps not on the spur of the moment; for justice is not always instantaneous; but bear thy burden with patience for the Lord has not forgotten."

"For the Way of the Lord is ruin for those who do evil; That which ye visit upon your neighbor, ye visit upon yourself. That which ye give shall be returned to thee; that which ye give shall be multiplied upon thee. It will be best for thee to keep this in mind, and to think before ye speak; give love and thou shalt receive love tenfold. Visit hate upon thy brother, and thou shalt have hate returned to thee TENfold. It is thy choice, so choose wisely. Choose wisely, brothers. The Lord watches thee, and knows thy heart. Be guided by His word, believe in His word, and ye cannot fail. Ye will be blessed. Amen."

Dire Wolf remained as a guest of the Woolly Mammoth Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival for several months. Over this time he made many friends and his Spiritual health was attended to by regular sermons on a twice daily basis. Woolly Mammoth did not consider this to be a chore; he was delighted to know he had saved a soul.

"I was overjoyed when, at the end of Spring Break it was decided that my class and I remain in Florida to study the lush, tropical verdure there. So I have enjoyed an extended vacation of sorts in the lovely subtropical climate of the far South," said Stegosaurus.

"I met with a herd of my classmates just outside of Panama City, and we enjoyed a meal of that miracle of modern technology, grass. We identified it as Sisyrinchium angustifolium, an aquatic variety with lovely and tasty blue flowers. Then we were all happy to discover a very large stand of Cephalanthus occidentalis bushes, of which there was enough for all of us. Late in the afternoon I found a nice stand of Pteridophytes, specifically monilophytes but they were not of the low fat variety, and I recalled that I was on a diet so I left them to my classmates and contented myself with that kind that would help me maintain my figure, as well as a Cycadales or two. My classmates admired my restraint, and of course appreciated my generosity and willingness to share."

"In total, I was in Florida for over a month, for we did not leave this lovely tropical paradise until mid April, in order to prepare for the semester finals. I have been doing well so far in my classes this semester. It is easy when life is so pleasant. I feel like I am the happiest and most content Stegosaurus in the whole world."

"This semester I decided to go on vacation during Spring Break," said Stegosaurus. " So, when midterm finals were over, I stomped down to Florida's Panama City Beach to relax and see if a Spring Break vacation would live up to its hype. On the beach I enjoyed the weather; it was quite pleasant but there were no trees there, and the place was crowded often with young mammals acting silly and making lots of noise. There was water to drink, but alas, it was very salty."

"The mammals were indeed very friendly. They complimented me and a few tried to ride on my back. Out of kindness I obliged for a little while, but in a short time I began to long for some peace and quiet. Also, I was getting quite hungry. I left the friendly young mammals with a couple complimentary cases of my beer, Stegosaurus Stout, and went on my way to Panama City, Florida.

I immediately fell in love with the subtropical weather which reminded me so well of those bygone days just out of my shell when the world lacked those pesky polar ice caps. Thinking about my youth made me very hungry for some delicious fresh Cycadophyta, so I stomped down forthrightly to the nearest swamp in search of one of my oldest dietary staples. Along the way I also enjoyed a nice meal of Chamaecyparis thyoides. Also I ate a few Toxicodendron vernix; it is fortunate that I do not have any problems being exposed to this plant as many mammals do; the stand I found was in shrub form rather than tree form but either way they are quite delicious."

"I was tempted to eat some nice Carya cordiformis, but then I remembered what my vet told me about my jaw and the tough bark of some trees; how I should just settle for roots and ferns, the way I was designed. I compromised with a good meal of Salix caroliniana instead. I really enjoyed my vacation. I needed some time to enjoy trees I wanted to eat, rather than what academia asked me to identify for a good grade; and once I was in the swamp, I realized how much I needed solitude for a while from the great abundance of mammals that have overspread the Earth in our modern times. It was very pleasant indeed. At the end of the week I returned to class recharged and ready to learn. I was really inspired by Loricatosaurus recent graduation to do well."

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Bonjour, je m’appelle Loricatosaurus!

"Après avoir graduez d’Oxford, j’avais hâte de retourner en Angleterre et de commencer mon nouvel emploi comme un Paléontologiste! Je ne suis pas inquiète de me retrouver; si je continue de creuser, je vais me retrouver éventuellement ; je dois être quelque part! Mon cher époux qui est tout naturellement attaché à la France était venu à ma graduation d’Oxford et a sauté à la chance de venir, parce que cela était très important pour moi. Je lui ai dit que j’étais convaincu que j’étais Française, mais que quelque pièces de moi-même avait été trouvées en Angleterre en 1957 et que je voulais commencer une recherche à cette endroit. Nous avons laissé notre confortable caverne Française, le 7 de Janvier, et avons piétiné directement à Cambridgeshire, Angleterre dans presque pas de temps. Durant la belle après-midi du 15 de Janvier, nous sommes allés à la cité de la cathédrale de Peterborough où des pièces de moi ont été trouvées dernièrement. Ceci était 75 miles précisément en dehors de Londres, un beau petit village sur la rivière Nene. Les mammifères ont vécu ici depuis le 12ème siècle, mais je pense que c’était bien avant ce siècle.

Avant de commencer à creuser, nous avons prise une belle marche le long de la rivière Nene et nous avons mangé un délicieux repas de Betula pubescens, ensemble. Nous avons dégusté un dessert de Prunus spinosa; mais il n’y avait pas beaucoup d’endroits sauvages dans la cité; elle traverse un grand afflux de migration de mammifères et aussi tous les plans de construction qui suaient avec tout cela. Pourtant nous avons passé un très beau temps.

Dès le levé du soleil de la prochaine matinée, j’ai sérieusement commencé à creuser. Pour notre pause déjeuner nous avons pensé de manger encore des Prunus spinosa; mais nous voulions conserver la verdure de l’endroit et ne pas manger tout autours de nous, mon cher époux était d’accord d’aller rechercher un autre type de bel arbre qui est plus en abondance, pour manger. Il est revenu après avoir ramassé un généreux montant de Crataegus monogyna pour nous deux.

Il m’a demandé si j’avais jusqu’à présent trouvé quoi que ce soi. Si j’avais trouvé quelque chose de moi-même. Je lui ai répondu, "Non pas encore, mon chéri ..... mais je ne suis pas découragé. Une chose qu’un dinosaure a apprit après beaucoup de millions d’années est la patience."

"Je suis déterminée de me trouver tôt ou tard; Je vais continuer d’essayer quel que soit le montent de temps qu’il faut. Cette année, l’année prochaine, un million années d’aujourd’hui, je vais continuer jusqu’à ce que je sache où j’y suis."

"Maintenant que je suis graduée d’Oxford et je suis éduquée, j’ai le temps de considérer d’autres choses en plus de où je suis. Ma question pour toi, cher époux est, as-tu jamais considéré de devenir un père. Penses-tu avoir des enfants une bonne idée?"

" Ma chère, honnêtement je ne sais pas. J’ai des soucis, maintenant que le sujet a été approché," répondit mon époux.

Je lui ai demandé d’élaborer et il a été franc avec moi, immédiatement, il m’a dit, "Tu sais que l’année de notre mariage la science m’a déclaré nomen dubium (n’existe plus) j’accepte que la science croit que je n’existe plus !! Ils sont toujours après catégorisez les choses et toutes les planètes. Que ferons-nous lorsque la Science décidera que nous sommes nomen dubium ?? Quelle sorte de vie auront-ils nous enfants?"

"Mon observation d’être nomen dubium n’a pas fait du mal à Trachodon ou Agathaumas".

"Stégosaures Claus leur a donné des cadeaux de Noël l’année dernière et l’année précédente."

"Je me rappelle de ce que mon cousin Stégosaures a fait pour eux," répondit Lexovissaurus, "Mais il n’y a pas de stigma associé avec nomen dubium, Trachodon et Agathaumas sont confortables, mais c’est une vie difficile et je ne sais pas si je veux que nos enfants vivent cette sorte de vie."

"Ce n’est pas comme nous allons tous disparaitre," j’ai répondit. "Nous allons toujours être là pour eux, nous ne seront pas mentionnés dans les journaux scientifiques ..."

"Torosaurus? Quand le Congrès Américain débattait l’existence des Congresssaurus Triceratops il y a quelques années; il a disparu après son témoignage."

"Il n’a pas disparu," je lui ai dit, ".....son nom a été désactivé, afin de respecter l'esprit et l'objectif du présent accord il est devenu un Triceratops. Il a été simplement classifié de nouveau."

"Tu a raison; étant donné, c’est une bonne considération, et peut-être nous devons y penser après que tu te retrouveras. Peut-être dans quelques millions d’années ou plus. Aussi longtemps que cela prendra."

"D’accord, mon chéri," "Nous allons en discuter aussitôt que tu te retrouveras. De nouveau, je dois être dans les environs quelques parts. Je ne dois pas être trop loin d’ici de dans les derniers 166 million années."

A few days before the Christmas holiday, Stegosaurus Claus arrived in Johannesburg, South Africa to pick up Spinosaurus so that Spinosaurus could protect the jolly old stegosaurus stenops during his annual journey around the world delivering presents to all the good boys and girls everywhere. Once Spinosaurus was prepared for the journey, they both stomped to Cape Town, South Africa to visit Sister Quagga. They found her grazing on the vast African plain.

"Hail, Sister Quagga, and happy holidays to you!" declared Stegosaurus Claus.

"Stegosaurus Claus!" exclaimed Sister Quagga. "Spinosaurus! What a surprise this close to Christmas Day! What brings you here to Cape Town?"

"Spinosaurus is coming with me as he has the last couple of years to protect me on my journey around the world, and we thought we'd stop by to visit and say hi before we got really busy."

"How very kind," said Quagga, "I am trimming these plains here to make them look nice for my own holiday coming up soon. You know how festive I am; I am always ready for a cheerful celebration."

"Quaggamas is a fine holiday," said Stegosaurus Claus. "I'd be very glad to help you but it is so close to Christmas, and Spinosaurus and I must return to my workshop in Brazil before Christmas Eve."

"Understood; no problem at all," said Quagga cheerfully. One thing about Quaggas, besides being inherently festive, they are also quite cheerful creatures.

"I can hardly wait for Christmas Eve!" declared Spinosaurus with the zeal of a young child. "I hope lots of children are naughty this year; I'm very very hungry."

"Now wait, wait, what did I tell you the first time, and any other Christmas season I have had your company on my travels?" asked Stegosaurus Claus. Then, he answered his own question. "I said you may whack naughty children with your tail, not eat them. Never eat them. Never. If you do, I will ask Tyrannosaurus Rex to come with me. He asked again this year, you know and I told him you were still coming with me. Now mind your manners, because eating Children does not exactly evoke the Christmas Spirit."

"Awwwww..." said Spinosaurus.

"Now I know you try hard, and I trust you," said Stegosaurus Claus.

"Not even one? Not even a little one? I promise to be discreet."

"Not even one. Not only will Tyrannosaurus Rex come with me if you eat so much as one, I'll never bring you presents on Christmas ever, ever again!"

"Okay. I'll do my best."

"Good."

"I'm glad that issue is resolved .... or stays resolved," said Quagga.

"What else do you need to do to prepare for your holiday of Quaggamas?" asked Stegosaurus Claus.

"The call for traditions in this relatively young holiday is still out there and I am hoping it will pick up as the years go by. Some things just start out slowly. I trim my plains, brush my coat, look festive and cheerful to everyone I meet. I believe that this is a wonderful world we live in and I choose to make my journey here and my interactions with fellow creatures pleasant. Of course my ultimate goal is to see the Quagga Project bear definitive proof so that I may become de-extinct; like Woolly Mammoth my hope is to return to the land of the living."

"You have a good heart, Sister Quagga, a good heart and good blessings come to those who are pure in heart and intent. I will leave you with a generous helping of goodwill, love, and Christmas spirit. I also leave you with the word of my ancient fathers, Shalom .... may all good things be yours.... I can assure you that you find your own blessings when you put others before yourself. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you."

"To you the same," said Quagga. "May your journey be safe, and Spinosaurus remain trustworthy."

"I know what my nature is," said Spinosaurus, ".....but I too, am overcome with Christmas spirit after all these uplifting words, and wish nothing but peace on earth to all. The world needs us not to argue and must have peace and goodwill now more than ever."