"Having finally completed my 300 page essay on the Alnus Maritima, I've left Oklahoma and am now in my home state of Colorado engaging in a bit of small business enterprise," said Stegosaurus.
"Today I have founded The Stegosaurus Construction Company.
I know with the financial markets the way they are today it does not seem like now is the time to go into the construction business, but I can guarantee you that you will have a job with my company! This is provided that you do not mind your boss having a cool, spiky tail! "
"Our motto: ROOFING IS OUR SPECIALTY !"
As always, Stegosaurus accepts payment in trees.
"Actually, school keeps me quite busy," continued the loquatious roof - lizard. "When I leave Colorado I have to go to Maine and study the Chionanthus virginicus, and then I have to stomp down to Florida and see if my class and I can find the elusive Franklinia alatamaha. This is all in addition to my job as Hokie Bird protector, and its that time of season again! It seems the life of a Stegosaurus is always busy !"
Monday, September 14, 2009
J’ai rencontré la plus belle Stégosaures! Elle s’appelle Loricatosaurus et elle est aussi belle quelle est intelligente. Elle est sexé, la plus sexy de toutes celles que j’ai vues. Elle admire beaucoup mes épatantes sexy plaques! Elles pensent qu’ils sont les plus attrayantes qu’elle a jamais vues. Oh ! Et est-ce que j’ai mentionné, elle aime le fromage ! Quelle perfection!
Nous nous sommes rencontrés à l’Opéra. Je vous le dit, ce n’était pas une Opéra Française vraiment, mais c’était Gaetano Donizetti L'elisir d'amore, qui était très approprié. Elle était sur le balcon et a vue mes épatantes sexy plaques de l’autre côté du théâtre. Je sais que c’était l’amour au premier regard. Elle est descendue du balcon pour me parler et pour ce présenté, quand je l’ai vue je suis tombé en amour, immédiatement.
Je me demandais comment elle pourrait être intéressé à moi, avec la sature et condition de vie quelle vivait ; mais quand j’y pense, c’est facilement expliqué par le fait que je suis Français.
Et depuis ce temps nous avons fait tout ensemble. Nous aimons les fougères et conifères avec du fromage (J’essais de lui trouvé les plus grosses), des marches, par la lumière de la lune, près de la Seine. Nous lisons Guillaume de Machaut, Charles Baudelaire, Arthur Rimbaud, Gustave Flaubert et Victor Hugo; quand nous avons des sentiments amoureux.... nous lisons Pierre Choderlos de Laclos. Nous aimons écouter Fréderic Chopin, Gabriel Faure, et Maurice Duruflé. Oh ! Nous avons beaucoup en commun c’est stupéfiant. Elle s’exprime clairement et aisément. J’ai hâte de la présenter à mes cousins!
Nous nous sommes rencontrés à l’Opéra. Je vous le dit, ce n’était pas une Opéra Française vraiment, mais c’était Gaetano Donizetti L'elisir d'amore, qui était très approprié. Elle était sur le balcon et a vue mes épatantes sexy plaques de l’autre côté du théâtre. Je sais que c’était l’amour au premier regard. Elle est descendue du balcon pour me parler et pour ce présenté, quand je l’ai vue je suis tombé en amour, immédiatement.
Je me demandais comment elle pourrait être intéressé à moi, avec la sature et condition de vie quelle vivait ; mais quand j’y pense, c’est facilement expliqué par le fait que je suis Français.
Et depuis ce temps nous avons fait tout ensemble. Nous aimons les fougères et conifères avec du fromage (J’essais de lui trouvé les plus grosses), des marches, par la lumière de la lune, près de la Seine. Nous lisons Guillaume de Machaut, Charles Baudelaire, Arthur Rimbaud, Gustave Flaubert et Victor Hugo; quand nous avons des sentiments amoureux.... nous lisons Pierre Choderlos de Laclos. Nous aimons écouter Fréderic Chopin, Gabriel Faure, et Maurice Duruflé. Oh ! Nous avons beaucoup en commun c’est stupéfiant. Elle s’exprime clairement et aisément. J’ai hâte de la présenter à mes cousins!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
"My visit to London was very pleasant," said Stegosaurus. It was nice to see my friend Ray Harryhausen and to help him celebrate his 89th birthday. How nice of him to tell me how beautiful I am! He also remarked that since my successful diet my legs no longer look like sausages!! The plate - lift and pedicure I got for my birthday a few years ago really paid off ! My cousins will be so pleased!"
"I'm back in the States at last, now in Oklahoma. School has started again and my class and I have to write a 300 page essay on the theories surrounding the existence of the Alnus Maritima in this area. I haven't yet figured out how this type of tree got to growing here, but nonetheless they are very pleasing to the palate."
"I'm back in the States at last, now in Oklahoma. School has started again and my class and I have to write a 300 page essay on the theories surrounding the existence of the Alnus Maritima in this area. I haven't yet figured out how this type of tree got to growing here, but nonetheless they are very pleasing to the palate."
Friday, July 3, 2009
Today Wuerhosaurus' junk boat arrived from China. He had come to Louisville, Kentucky for the Stegosaurus Races. Realizing that he was a bit late for the races, he stomped on over to Lexington, having heard rumors of a delicious arboretum nearby. He had heard it said that the mammals of Lexington were very friendly and cordial.
The city authorities, however, asked him to leave when he attempted sunbathing in the historic city cemetery.
Monday, June 22, 2009
My birdwatching vacation in New Zealand was very nice," said Stegosaurus. "The Giant Moas and I had some great times. Now I'm updating my blog on my laptop while I'm on a raft. It's just a short trip to London to help my friend Ray Harryhausen celebrate his 89th birthday on June 29th.
July 6th I'll be back in the States for the start of the summer semester.
Earlier today I got an email from my Nigerian cousin Kentrosaurus:
REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND 'TOP SECRET'. I AM SURE AND HAVE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR ABILITY AND RELIABILITY TO PROSECUTE A TRANSACTION OF THIS GREAT MAGNITUDE INVOLVING A PENDING TRANSACTION REQUIRING MAXIIMUM CONFIDENCE.
WE ARE TOP OFFICIAL OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL WHO ARE INTERESTED IN IMPORATION OF GOODS INTO OUR COUNTRY WITH FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN NIGERIA. IN ORDER TO COMMENCE THIS BUSINESS WE SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE TO ENABLE US TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT THE SAID TRAPPED FUNDS.
THE SOURCE OF THIS FUND IS AS FOLLOWS; DURING THE LAST MILITARY REGIME HERE IN NIGERIA, THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS SET UP COMPANIES AND AWARDED THEMSELVES CONTRACTS WHICH WERE GROSSLY OVER-INVOICED IN VARIOUS MINISTRIES. THE PRESENT CIVILIAN GOVERNMENT SET UP A CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL AND WE HAVE IDENTIFIED A LOT OF INFLATED CONTRACT FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY FLOATING IN THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA READY FOR PAYMENT.
HOWEVER, BY VIRTUE OF OUR POSITION AS CIVIL SERVANTS AND MEMBERS OF THIS PANEL, WE CANNOT ACQUIRE THIS MONEY IN OUR NAMES. I HAVE THEREFORE, BEEN DELEGATED AS A MATTER OF TRUST BY MY COLLEAGUES OF THE PANEL TO LOOK FOR AN OVERSEAS PARTNER INTO WHOSE ACCOUNT WE WOULD TRANSFER THE SUM OF US$21,320,000.00(TWENTY ONE MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND U.S DOLLARS). HENCE WE ARE WRITING YOU THIS LETTER. WE HAVE AGREED TO SHARE THE MONEY THUS; 1. 20% FOR THE ACCOUNT OWNER 2. 70% FOR US (THE OFFICIALS) 3. 10% TO BE USED IN SETTLING TAXATION AND ALL LOCAL AND FOREIGN EXPENSES. IT IS FROM THE 70% THAT WE WISH TO COMMENCE THE IMPORTATION BUSINESS.
PLEASE,NOTE THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% SAFE AND WE HOPE TO COMMENCE THE TRANSFER LATEST SEVEN (7) BANKING DAYS FROM THE DATE OF THE RECEIPT OF THE FOLLOWING INFORMATIOM BY TEL/FAX; 234-1-7740449, YOUR COMPANY'S SIGNED, AND STAMPED LETTERHEAD PAPER THE ABOVE INFORMATION WILL ENABLE US WRITE LETTERS OF CLAIM AND JOB DESCRIPTION RESPECTIVELY. THIS WAY WE WILL USE YOUR COMPANY'S NAME TO APPLY FOR PAYMENT AND RE-AWARD THE CONTRACT IN YOUR COMPANY'S NAME.
WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING THIS BUSINESS WITH YOU AND SOLICIT YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IN THIS TRANSATION. PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER USING THE ABOVE TEL/FAX NUMBERS. I WILL SEND YOU DETAILED INFORMATION OF THIS PENDING PROJECT WHEN I HAVE HEARD FROM YOU.
YOURS FAITHFULLY,
DR CLEMENT OKON
NOTE; PLEASE QUOTE THIS REFERENCE NUMBER (VE/S/09/99) IN ALL YOUR RESPONSES.
" It looks like he's trying to supplement his military pension again," said Stegosaurus. "He's my cousin and I love him, but Kentrosaurus can sometimes be a real con artist!!"
****************
Yes, this is a joke. For more information on the "Nigerian / 419 Scam visit snopes.com here
From that website here's an important note from Barbara Mikkelson:
The Secret Service asks if you have been victimized by the Nigerian scam to forward appropriate written documentation to the United States Secret Service, Financial Crimes Division, 950 H Street, NW, Washington, D.C. 20223, or telephone (202) 406-5850, or contact by e-mail. Per their automated response system, they no longer want faxed copies of the various Nigerian scams.
However, it needs be pointed out there is only so much the Secret Service or any law enforcement agency can do if the perpetrators of the scam are not within their jurisdiction. Your local police department cannot send officers to Nigeria to arrest the fellows who are attempting to con you out of your life savings any more than Nigerian police could show up on your doorstep to put the handcuffs on you.
Folks angered by Nigerian scam come-ons often want to see justice done and done quickly, yet often there is little that can be done because those behind the thefts are in other parts of the world. Ergo, the best protection is an awareness that the laws of your country are not always enforceable in other lands, so it behooves to you always proceed with caution when dealing with people or business entities in foreign locales.
Barbara "fraud gods" Mikkelson
July 6th I'll be back in the States for the start of the summer semester.
Earlier today I got an email from my Nigerian cousin Kentrosaurus:
REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND 'TOP SECRET'. I AM SURE AND HAVE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR ABILITY AND RELIABILITY TO PROSECUTE A TRANSACTION OF THIS GREAT MAGNITUDE INVOLVING A PENDING TRANSACTION REQUIRING MAXIIMUM CONFIDENCE.
WE ARE TOP OFFICIAL OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL WHO ARE INTERESTED IN IMPORATION OF GOODS INTO OUR COUNTRY WITH FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN NIGERIA. IN ORDER TO COMMENCE THIS BUSINESS WE SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE TO ENABLE US TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT THE SAID TRAPPED FUNDS.
THE SOURCE OF THIS FUND IS AS FOLLOWS; DURING THE LAST MILITARY REGIME HERE IN NIGERIA, THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS SET UP COMPANIES AND AWARDED THEMSELVES CONTRACTS WHICH WERE GROSSLY OVER-INVOICED IN VARIOUS MINISTRIES. THE PRESENT CIVILIAN GOVERNMENT SET UP A CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL AND WE HAVE IDENTIFIED A LOT OF INFLATED CONTRACT FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY FLOATING IN THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA READY FOR PAYMENT.
HOWEVER, BY VIRTUE OF OUR POSITION AS CIVIL SERVANTS AND MEMBERS OF THIS PANEL, WE CANNOT ACQUIRE THIS MONEY IN OUR NAMES. I HAVE THEREFORE, BEEN DELEGATED AS A MATTER OF TRUST BY MY COLLEAGUES OF THE PANEL TO LOOK FOR AN OVERSEAS PARTNER INTO WHOSE ACCOUNT WE WOULD TRANSFER THE SUM OF US$21,320,000.00(TWENTY ONE MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND U.S DOLLARS). HENCE WE ARE WRITING YOU THIS LETTER. WE HAVE AGREED TO SHARE THE MONEY THUS; 1. 20% FOR THE ACCOUNT OWNER 2. 70% FOR US (THE OFFICIALS) 3. 10% TO BE USED IN SETTLING TAXATION AND ALL LOCAL AND FOREIGN EXPENSES. IT IS FROM THE 70% THAT WE WISH TO COMMENCE THE IMPORTATION BUSINESS.
PLEASE,NOTE THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% SAFE AND WE HOPE TO COMMENCE THE TRANSFER LATEST SEVEN (7) BANKING DAYS FROM THE DATE OF THE RECEIPT OF THE FOLLOWING INFORMATIOM BY TEL/FAX; 234-1-7740449, YOUR COMPANY'S SIGNED, AND STAMPED LETTERHEAD PAPER THE ABOVE INFORMATION WILL ENABLE US WRITE LETTERS OF CLAIM AND JOB DESCRIPTION RESPECTIVELY. THIS WAY WE WILL USE YOUR COMPANY'S NAME TO APPLY FOR PAYMENT AND RE-AWARD THE CONTRACT IN YOUR COMPANY'S NAME.
WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING THIS BUSINESS WITH YOU AND SOLICIT YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IN THIS TRANSATION. PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER USING THE ABOVE TEL/FAX NUMBERS. I WILL SEND YOU DETAILED INFORMATION OF THIS PENDING PROJECT WHEN I HAVE HEARD FROM YOU.
YOURS FAITHFULLY,
DR CLEMENT OKON
NOTE; PLEASE QUOTE THIS REFERENCE NUMBER (VE/S/09/99) IN ALL YOUR RESPONSES.
" It looks like he's trying to supplement his military pension again," said Stegosaurus. "He's my cousin and I love him, but Kentrosaurus can sometimes be a real con artist!!"
****************
Yes, this is a joke. For more information on the "Nigerian / 419 Scam visit snopes.com here
From that website here's an important note from Barbara Mikkelson:
The Secret Service asks if you have been victimized by the Nigerian scam to forward appropriate written documentation to the United States Secret Service, Financial Crimes Division, 950 H Street, NW, Washington, D.C. 20223, or telephone (202) 406-5850, or contact by e-mail. Per their automated response system, they no longer want faxed copies of the various Nigerian scams.
However, it needs be pointed out there is only so much the Secret Service or any law enforcement agency can do if the perpetrators of the scam are not within their jurisdiction. Your local police department cannot send officers to Nigeria to arrest the fellows who are attempting to con you out of your life savings any more than Nigerian police could show up on your doorstep to put the handcuffs on you.
Folks angered by Nigerian scam come-ons often want to see justice done and done quickly, yet often there is little that can be done because those behind the thefts are in other parts of the world. Ergo, the best protection is an awareness that the laws of your country are not always enforceable in other lands, so it behooves to you always proceed with caution when dealing with people or business entities in foreign locales.
Barbara "fraud gods" Mikkelson
Thursday, June 4, 2009
" After celebrating my 140 million and third birthday in Spain and cutting the ribbon on the Stegosaurus School of Dance there, I stomped on down to New Zealand to spend the rest of my college break birdwatching for The Giant Moa and / or Haast's Eagles," said Stegosaurus. After relaxing it will be time to return to The States for my second semester of college."
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