At Christmas time, Stegosaurus stomped forthrightly to Culver City, California in order to visit his elderly friends Dimetrodon and Nyasasaurus for the holidays.

"I really feel it most prudent to check up on the welfare of our elderly, throughout the year of course, but especially at Christmas time, when they may feel the most lonesome," said the kind, altruistic plate lizard. "This visit will be a complete surprise to my friends as I usually visit my own cousins or they visit me, over the holidays. But, this year I want to do something different, something special for my friends. It is an added benefit that I will be in the warmer climate of California. The weather of California is much more suitable than Colorado in the Christmas season."

When Stegosaurus arrived at the Dinosaur Retirement Home complex of caves Nyasasuarus was outside , and indeed surprised when he saw Stegosaurus arriving.

"What a surprise to see you, Stegosaurus! " exclaimed Nyasasuarus. "What brings you to visit? I hope you are well .... I hope you have good news!"

"I am not the bearer of bad tidings, friend! Indeed, I have come for a surprise, and my cousins all agreed that I should do it, and that was to stomp by and wish you and Dimetrodon, and, well, everyone at the Dinosaur Retirement Home community a blessed Holiday Season."

"This will get you some well earned points from Stegosaurus Claus," said Nyasasaurus.

"Perhaps so," said Stegosaurus, "But that alone is not the reason for doing it. I am genuinely concerned for you and the welfare of the good dinosaurs who live in this community."

"How kind you are," said Nyasasaurus. "Please come in, Dimetrodon is inside his retirement cave now. I'm sure he'll be glad to see you and wish you a Merry Christmas."

"Thank you," said Stegosaurus.

"Now I can tell you we have a surprise for you as well." said Nyasassaurus.

" How nice !! I will be content to rest my weary claws and visit with my friends."

Stegosaurus entered Dimetrodon's cave and was indeed immediately surprised.

"Hello, Dimetrodon! Are you surprised? I wanted to surprise you with a visit at Christmas time."

"Hail, Stegosaurus ! Nice to see you! However I feel the surprise is on you, for I am not Dimetrodon, though I look like him a lot !!"


"Well, I am pleased to meet you ~~ you look like a Dimetrodon, so the surprise is indeed on me. Who might you be?"

"I am Dimetrodon's slightly younger cousin Edaphosaurus. I am about 303 Million Years old, and because of what you did for Dimetrodon, the Dinosaur and Mythical Creature Screen Actor's Guild Local 14065 has allowed me a cave in the Retirement Home, just as they did for Dimetrodon's friend Moschops. We are so grateful to you for what you've done for us."

"It was the least I could do," said Stegosaurus. "Now if you are not Dimetrodon, where is Dimetrodon? I hope he is well."

"He is," said Edaphosaurus. "He has gone with Moschops to the beach. He enjoys the beach life, and since his retirement, dining on a surfer or two."

"Oh, that's nice. I can't say I share that particular interest, being a herbivore. But I have been to the beach and had some interaction with surfers in the past. I find them to be nice mammals, and I hope you will not hunt them to extinction."

"Fear not for surfers," said Edaphosaurus. "There are many of them, and Dimetrodon, Moschops, Nyasasaurus and I have not made them a steady diet."

"May I suggest that we all stomp down to the beach and visit with Dimetrodon and Moschops?"

"What a good idea! I would love to join you," said Nyasasaurus. "But I want you to go with Edaphosaurus while I work on surprise for you, in honor of your Christmas visit."

"You are too kind, Nyasasaurus," said Stegosaurus.

"It is the least I can do, in gratitude for all you have done for us."

As Nyasasaurus remained behind, Stegosaurus and Edaphosaurus stomped forthrightly to Marina del rey Beach. It was easy to see Dimetrodon and Moschops when they got there; it is hard for animals so large to hide, of course. "Hail !! Dimetrodon!" said Stegosaurus.

"Hail, cousin!" said Edaphosaurus.

"Greetings, Edaphosaurus!" said Dimetrodon.

"Stegosaurus !! What a nice surprise! Happy Holidays to you!! What brings you to sunny California ?"

"I come to visit my friends this Christmas Season. So nice to see you!!"

"A pleasure," said Dimetrodon.

"I was told there were surfers. Where are the surfers?"

"We ate them. I'm sorry," said Moschops. "Come, let us rest our claws in the water."

Stegosaurus and his synapisd friends went into the water and there happily rested.

"So, Edaphosaurus, tell me about yourself. Where are you from, originally?" asked Stegosaurus.

"Originally I was discovered by Professor Cope in Texas in 1882; but I have also been found in Ohio, West Virginia, and parts of Germany. Not sure how I ended up in Germany, but I do enjoy that place quite much. My name means "Pavement Lizard."

"You say you were discovered by Professor Cope?"

"Yes, I know the great rival of your father Professor Marsh."

"Fear not; I will not treat you with animosity. As a general rule of their nature, mammals thrive on competition; such has always been the case. I hold it not against you."

"How kind," said Moschops. "You have always included us and been socially tolerant of our differences."

"Stegosaurus is very kind. He is among the kindest of dinosaurs." said Dimetrodon. "He does much for his friends and is the most altruistic I know."

"My friends .... you will swell my horse sized head much beyond the size of brother horse's." said Stegosaurus.

"It looks like we have scared away the surviving surfing mammals," observed Dimetrodon.

As if on cue, Moschops burped. "Excuse me," he said. "It is a shame; I meant to save one and bring it home for Nyasasuaurus."

"Let us return to Dimetrodon's cave, and see what surprise that Nyasasaurus has for our generous visitor." said Edaphosaurus. "I'm sure he's prepared and is ready for our return now."

"Agreed." said Dimetrodon.

Stegosaurus and his friends left the beach and returned to Culver City.

"Welcome back!" said Nyasasaurus. "Come in, Stegosaurus. I have prepared a surprise for you. Just for Christmas."

To Stegosaurus' great surprise, Nyasasaurus had gathered for his visiting friend a nice helping of Marina arbutus, Albizia julibrissin, Bauhinia variegata, and Calocedrus decurrens.

"Enough to last you through the weekend, should you choose to visit us that long. And if you'd like to stay til the New Year, I do not mind going out to find more for you."

"One kind deed deserves another," observed Dimetrodon. "We here at the Dinosaur retirement home wish to show our gratitude to you for your help and kindnesses, especially in this most sacred Season and Holiday."

"You came here to surprise us, and we are so happy to see you that we wanted to surprise you and give you a gift in our own way." said Nyasasaurus.

"Carnivores also have a reputation of cruelty that herbivores do not share; We want to be sure that we break that stereotype today. Not just because of the significance of this Sacred Day; not just because it will put us on good terms with Stegosaurus Claus; but rather even in spite of our fangs and tendency to eat meat, we are also capable of kindness and gratitude," said Edaphosaurus.

"What an exemplary example of Christian Charity," said Stegosaurus. "I thank you most kindly, you did this for me even though you are not plant eaters. Bless you all."

"God bless us, everyone," said Edaphosaurus.

"I spent Thanksgiving by stomping forthrightly down to Georgia and spending it with my college class," said Stegosaurus. We all agreed we should take on an extra credit assignment and identify and eat a couple of trees native to the State. First, one of my classmates found a nice grove of Acer negundo, commonly known as the Boxelder. In some circles they are considered invasive, as they grow very fast. Though originating in the deep South these hearty, resilient plants can grow in many other places. They have been introduced in South America, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, and Asia. Perhaps I will send a seedling to Wuerhosaurus for Christmas, to put outside his cave; he'd like that. And to my Canadian friend Styracosaurus, who would call it by its Canadian name, Manitoba Maple. They make better Christmas presents than a Chia Pet, though there are times that I've been known to eat those too. The first few plants of this type that my classmates found had Boisea trivittata on them, but that was of no real concern since they generally do no harm to the plant at all.



When we had eaten our fill of Acer negundo, and I had gathered that which I plan to give away as gifts to my friends, we all stomped around forthrightly until we found some wonderful specimens of Catalpa bignonioides. This tree is also a native of the Southern United States, but it too, can be introduced into Canada and other parts of the world and thrive. I learned in class that when a Ceratomia catalpae ate of its leaves, the leaves produced an excess of nectar, which attracted ants to defend it from Ceratomia catalpae. I was dared to test this theory on Stegosaurids by my classmates, my classmates knowing my distinct dislike of insects. For sure this was proven, and in very short time much to my irritation I had insects under my scales and trying to get into my eyes. This was of much amusement to my classmates, who are lucky I know how to endure a good joke from time to time. The Catalpa bignonioides is accordingly not my favorite tree to eat, but I will say that they are quite delicious, and also low fat. Something to keep in mind during the Holidays!"

One bright, clear Sunday morning at the Woolly Mammoth Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival Sister Quagga spoke with an excessively overjoyed Kentrosaurus.

"Why are you so happy today, Kentrosaurus?" asked Sister Quagga. "Today, Sister Quagga, is a very special day," he rejoined. "I have always been just the loyal God fearing groundskeeper here. But today because Woolly Mammoth is suffering from laryngitis and cannot deliver the Sunday sermon, the task falls to me."
"Good luck," said Sister Quagga. "What is your sermon going to be on this Sunday?"
"I have changed nothing from what Woolly Mammoth planned before his illness. Scheduled today is a sermon on Colossians 3:12 ~ 17."
"Where is Woolly Mammoth at the moment?"
"Resting in the prayer garden. He's also feeling kind of down because the mammal scientists have failed to revive his DNA in mouse eggs, which has been a real setback in his quest for de - extinction."

"Oh," said Sister Quagga sadly. "I hope he does not feel down too long. The mammals are smart, and they'll figure it all out eventually. Wait and see."

"I hope so."

"To change the topic, I have a question to ask of you."

"What is it?"

"I've met some nice friends on the African plains recently who have said they'd like to come to the Church for a sermon. Would you mind if my friends known as Ostriches come and visit for a sermon?"

"Of course they may come! All are welcome to hear the Word of the Lord."

"I shall gallop to the plains and bring them back here with me."

"Very well. I will make them welcome."

"You'll like them. The novel thing about Ostriches is, they are not yet extinct."

"Fascinating."

As Sister Quagga left, Kentrosaurus retrieved his Bible and opened it to the Epistle to the Colossians, in order to prepare for his sermon.

Then he received a visit from Western Black Rhino.

"Hello, Kentrosaurus," said Western Black Rhino.

"Why, hello, Western Black Rhino. What brings you to visit? I hope you will come to my sermon later today."

"I am indeed planning on it, friend. I have a question for you."

"What is it?"

"I have finally met an extinct friend with which I have much in common. I visited with Woolly Rhinoceros to see if he'd like to join the planned Cold Weather Disaster Relief Agency. Happily he agreed, and wants to speak with Woolly Mammoth about it. Is Woolly Mammoth available?"

"Woolly Mammoth is in the prayer garden but alas ! He is suffering from laryngitis and cannot speak at the moment, hence the reason why I am giving the sermon today at Church."

"Aha!" said Western Black Rhino. "Well, I have brought Woolly Rhino with me, perhaps he'd like to stay for the sermon."

"Of course Woolly Rhino is welcome. Bring him back in a week or so, when Woolly Mammoth has recovered. I am certain that Woolly Mammoth will want to speak to him."

"Thank you, Kentrosaurus, I look forward to your sermon later today."

"God bless," said Kentrosaurus. "Oh, and let me tell you that Sister Quagga was just here; she is bringing some Ostriches with whom she has made friends on the African plains. So he won't be the only new guest to the Church today."

"That's wonderful," said Western Black Rhino.

When Western Black Rhino left, Kentrosaurus resumed the study of the scripture.

As the time approached for the sermon, Kentrosaurus was glad to see Sister Quagga returned with her Ostrich friends, Western Black Rhino with Woolly Rhinoceros, and even Smilodon and Dire Wolf, who had long ago promised to return after being rescued from the tar pits. Widow Ground Sloth and her son Junior were there as well as Woolly Mammoth, in spite of the fact that he could not speak at the moment.

"Welcome, Brothers and Sisters, began Kentrosaurus.

"Today I am honored to give you a sermon due to Woolly Mammoth being ill today. May God bless him with a speedy recovery. I never dreamed that one day I'd rise above groundskeeper to give a sermon of my own. Thank you, Lord Jesus and Woolly Mammoth for the opportunity."

Woolly Mammoth silently acknowledged Kentrosaurus, and then the sermon began.

" I want to speak today on St. Paul's Epistle to the Colossians. You, my friends, Brothers and Sisters, are the Chosen People of God. One of the many places that The Bible makes this clear is verses 12 through 17 of the Epistle to the Colossians. ' Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.' These are increasingly hard times in which we are living. Maybe not as bad as the time a meteor struck the Yucatán Peninsula, or a comet smashed into Greenland, but it is a time that increasingly tests the faith and endurance of those who call themselves Christian. But you must keep the faith and stay the course, at the end of the trial you will be worthy if you follow this advice. 'Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.' Life is too short. If you are a dinosaur, or megafauna, a meteor may come for you; if you are a mammal, as we know, your life is short so you must not bear any grudge with your neighbor; You do not know the number of your days, so things must be made right in case you face your final days. So you may leave in clear conscience without regrets of any kind. Forgive, for when you forgive there is peace; when you give you will receive the same. Several times over, these are the things you can take with you. As the possessions of the mortal coil must crumble and turn to dust, or fade away, but the feeling of your heart and soul remains. This will be counted for righteousness. Can I get an Amen, Brothers and Sisters? An Amen, please?"

"Amen!" said everyone. Everyone except Woolly Mammoth of course, but he had a good excuse !!!

Kentrosaurus continued, "There is an expression of unity! You will have perfect unity! For as the scripture says, ' ' And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity'.

"Bound in the Word and in the Love of our Lord God, and his Son, Jesus Christ! Love is eternal; for only that which is good can survive. Only love lasts. through all time."

"Verily, I say onto you, again from the Good Book, 'Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.'

"For this, my brothers and sisters, is the Grace of God. The Grace of the Lord is given to those who dwell with him in peace and unity. Be humble and supplicant in your entreaty, with prayer it will be granted unto you if you believe. Be thankful not just for the food you eat, not just for your scales or your fur, that there are no meteors in the sky, but for the love you have given and received. It is evidence of God, it is evidence of His manifestation; the manifestation of Jesus Christ. Jesus , God Himself calls upon you to be the Word manifest into the world"

"Now again, we return to the Epistle, and it says, 'Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.'

"So we shall sing today upon the conclusion of this sermon, as the Lord asks of us, as the Lord desires, that we, through him, may express appreciation and thanksgiving for all that we have and all that we are. Bring about Heaven, be the peace, be the love, be the example of your ideal, such a life honestly lived cannot fail your body or your soul. One last time we return to the Word in this sermon, and it says unto us, ' And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him'.

"The Lord is our example and our template. Let me give you an example of someone making God manifest to help their neighbor. Before I had the landscaping job here, I used to supplement my military pension by sending out emails from Nigerian "Princes", but it was Sister Quagga who was an instrument of the Lord in talking some common sense into me and convincing me that I should seek more honest employment. Before I even knew it, she was guiding my way, even if she knew it or not, to this Church, this land of Johannesburg, to my benefactor, Woolly Mammoth, who had faith in me and gave me a chance of redemption. Sister Quagga had made the Lord Jesus manifest through her actions towards me, and I try to return this same to everyone I meet. I hope I have not embarrassed you Sister Quagga, but I want you to know the impact you have had on my life and that I am thankful and gracious of your actions towards me in my time of need. "

Sister Quagga did not speak out, but her friends the Ostriches gathered around her and were speaking to her privately. Since she is a humble and unassuming creature she had not told them of her good deed.

"This concludes the sermon," said Kentrosaurus. "Now go forth in unity and brotherhood, to right the wrongs you can when you see them, to extend a hand to your friend or your enemy as well, in times of need be as one in unity, for this is the path to enlightenment. Thank you."

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"I feel bad for Congresssaurus Triceratops after getting so close to extracting sunlight from cucumbers," said Stegosaurus. "They sure were delicious cucumbers, though. I'm sure we'd have gotten some great sunlight from them! In the interests of being helpful, I thought I'd read this magazine with vegetarian recipes in it; surely I thought the answer would be right under my snout !! But no luck !! There are recipes that involve the use of cucumbers, but not any that tell you how to extract sunlight from those cucumbers. Sigh.

We found the answer once, and we can find it again! No matter how long it takes we will succeed !!! For the benefit of dinosaur and mammal alike, science will advance !! We'll save the environment and increase the life of the sun by extracting sunlight from cucumbers !! We'll also show those smug mammal scientists with their larger brains how smart a dinosaur can be!"

In August Congresssaurus Triceratops returned to his native Wyoming for a time, and so Stegosaurus decided to take a trip himself as he had not left his home for a while. He decided upon visiting Washington DC, because he had heard that his home at the Smithsonian Institution was reopened there. Newly renovated courtesy of the Koch Brothers.

"I'm pleased to stomp there for the first time since the museum closed my home for renovation in 2014," said Stegosaurus.

"The mammals have updated their science which is to be expected; they've learned a lot about us in the last 40 or 50 years. Or, maybe it was the last few weeks. It wasn't that long ago. I am however still kind of disappointed to find that I don't have feathers yet. That was something I really had my heart set upon, but the time has not yet arrived. Nonetheless, I found all my friends to be very much more active in their general manner than I had remembered from previous visits."

"I was able to sneak by Tyrannosaurus Rex as he was occupied with Triceratops, ( I was sure Triceratops had gone to Wyoming, but I didn't stop to ask ... it looked like a bad time. ) I also knew that I had to keep a wary eye out for Ceratosaurus, a meat eating theropod with a demeanor and appetite very similar to my brother Allosaurus. Indeed, instead of greeting me in a civil manner like most of my herbivore friends do, he sneakily tried to eat me. So I taught him a lesson, fortunately I was quick and knocked him down with my cool, spiky tail. Now he will think twice before attacking me again!"

"All in all, the Koch Brothers have done a fine job with my new home; and it isn't just my Mesozoic contemporaries that I get to visit with: as before my friends from the Pleistocene are there too. I heartily encourage you to visit and learn from my newly renovated home. I frequently come to museums to make a few extra dollars. It is easy work as long as you don't mind standing still for long periods of time and pretending to be extinct. Won't you visit? I'd love to see you."



Amid All the Fossils, Smithsonian’s New Dinosaur Exhibition Tells the Complex Story of Life

In mid July, Congresssaurus Triceratops was still in Colorado visiting Stegosaurus when he heard the news from Washington, DC that he had been cleared of collusion with Russia by the United States Congress.

"I'm glad to hear this, friend Congresssaurus Triceratops," said Stegosaurus.


"Me too; the accusation was groundless .... I was only attending a local production of Finian's Rainbow; and of course I spoke to Londonderry Birds on my way home .... there was never any connection to Russia ........ just power mad mammals who saw what they wanted to see."

"Their concern isn't the welfare of the country; what they are doing is only for the short term gain of their party; not a one of them stands on any thing even remotely resembling honor or principle. There is no integrity to be found in the Halls of the US Congress."

"Will you be returning to Congress, then?" asked Stegosaurus. "It looks like they need your sense of honor and integrity."

"No, no, no. It took me a while to embrace the idea of retirement; I've been in public service for the better part of 70 million years. I've spent years of public service in Greece; in Rome; in Europe; and the United States. Not only has the political climate discouraged me ( as I have seen it so many times before. ) and if the mammals' shenanigans or a meteor falls from the sky and ends it all, I should like to spend some time in my life in the pursuit of more peaceful endeavors that may help both dinosaur and the race of mammals in other ways."

"The pursuit of science is my newest endeavor; and with my remaining years I shall shed light and bring hope to the future by helping you to extract Sunlight from cucumbers."

"Let us prepare a nice mid afternoon snack, and we can compare notes on our progress when I return," said Stegosaurus.

"I have a couple of cucumbers I'd like to show you; while you were away meeting with your accountant Corythosaurus, I think there has been a great stomp forward. I may have been successful in something mammals have been trying for, trying to succeed at since the year 1726. I think I have extracted sunlight from cucumbers!"

"That's great," said Stegosaurus. "I knew that having your larger brain around would be an advantage to the cause. I will return in a moment."


"How about some leftover Austrian Pines? They're leftover from Corythosaurus' visit."

"That would be great."

"I'll add some vegetables from the garden too."

"Some tomatoes would be nice."

Stegosaurus returned with a nicely prepared meal of Austrian pines and cucumbers for two.

Stegosaurus and Congresssaurus Triceratops dug into their meal right away and ate heartily. Before too long, they had finished.

"Well now that was a very good meal. Remain here, and I shall retrieve my cucumbers to show you the scientific advancement to which the mind of dinosaurs have contributed. They laughed at us in the realm of science; they said because we were dinosaurs we were too slow witted to understand the complexities of science. Why, for science, they said, you need a mammal brain !! But I, but you and I have proved them wrong today!" declared Congressaurus Triceratops.

"I know how it is. Sometimes I think they never acknowledge the fact that we aren't slow and slow witted cold blooded swamp monsters. I will await news of your exciting discovery!" said Stegosaurus.

However before too long a time, Congressaurus Triceratops returned distressed. "Where are the two cucumbers I set aside while you were meeting with Corythosaurus?"

"On the rock ledge to the left," said Stegosaurus. "That's where I keep stuff I've harvested from the garden."

"I see no cucumbers there; only tomatoes. Wait.... were we not supposed to have tomatoes with our meal?"

"Yes, but I saw some cucumbers there and I thought that might be better for lunch and we could save the tomatoes for dinn .... um, oops."

"Oh Stegosaurus, Stegosaurus ....."

"Oh dear. I hope we can still be friends .... I didn't mean to ..... will you still stay in Colorado? Can't you repeat your experiment? I'll help you in any way I can. I am really sorry."

"Of course we can still be friends, and I will remain in Colorado as long as you will have me ..... I will just have to start over again. I sure hope I can remember all the complex steps."

"I'm really sorry, Congresssaurus Triceratops. Really."

"Don't worry. I'm just as guilty of eating them as you are ... also, I've served in Congress I'm used to such setbacks and having to go back to the drawing board, to use a mammal expression. What we did once, we can do again, science has been waiting a long time for this breakthrough, it will just have to wait a little bit longer."

"One day last week I was visited by my loyal, hard working accountant known as Corythosaurus," said Stegosaurus. "We have rarely met in person, being such busy individuals, but I had received word from him that we needed to meet to discuss an important business matter, so I invited him to my home in Colorado".

"I have stomped all the way from my home in the Red Deer River of Alberta to discuss with you an important matter," said Corythosaurus.

"I will attend with great interest the things that you have to say, but do tell, how is our mutual friend Styracosaurus doing?"

"Styracosaurus is doing just fine; he has asked you to come visit some time soon, as he cannot eat all the coffee plants by himself."

"Have you eaten coffee plants?" asked Stegosaurus.

"I considered it at one point, but now I have stumbled upon an invention of the mammals called Diet Coke and that is my favorite."

"I have never tried this mammal invention," said Stegosaurus. "But returning to the important reason for your visit, is it that brings you to Colorado? What concern could be so great?"

"Well you know I am your loyal hard working accountant and I have for years kept an eye on your various investments. Many are doing well you have chosen wisely many times. Of course, with me as your advisor, how could you fail? But there is one endeavor that has not panned out the way we had hoped. Both of your apartment complexes designed for mammals, in Sunnyvale, California and the other in Santa Monica are failing.
We started them out in March 2014 with high hopes, but it looks now like the best thing might be to close them down and re direct those resources into other things."

"What ever you think is best," said Stegosaurus; "I trust your judgement but tell me what is the cause of this?"

"We've tried, but they never really quite took off as we'd hoped to start. As it turns out the first couple of years we barely broke even, and since 2016 we have been losing money. I even tried opening a bakery to sell bread at the Santa Monica location but there appeared to be little interest."

"Why? You do make a good bread," said Stegosaurus.

"I do make a good bread, but there were not a lot of mammals living there at the time to have the impact I had expected, and I much prefer my home on the Red Deer River in Canada to the hustle and bustle of California."

"What do you think was the cause? Not your baking?"

"No not at all it is the business model. Mammals really don't use trees as currency in any capacity, and they don't eat them at all. The apartments are too small to fit dinosaurs and in order to modify the apartments for them, we'd have to tear down the old complexes and rebuild. It's just too expensive."

"But I don't understand. Weren't the mammals spending enough to live there? Did the forests become extinct? I knew I had been away from California for too long!" exclaimed Stegosaurus.

"Now Stegosaurus, you know that an economy requires more than mammal spending. We could make a law that says mammals get 100 extra a month in spending money because they are smaller and thus, suffer disadvantages that we taller, heavier dinosaurs do not, but that in and of itself would not solve the problem. It is not a long term view and does not take into account the effects of such a policy on the whole group. Why there is more to a mammal economy than that certain species spend while others are taxed because certain groups think they can afford it or deserve it.

What about considering the payment of wages?

The importance of capital maintenance ?

How to account for the lack of new capital investment?

Nothing is ever that simple."

"Well, what if a mammal lives in New York and bagels cost $7.00, why can't that mammal be paid $15.00 an hour?" asked Stegosaurus.

"Sigh." said Corythosaurus. "You haven't been eating Austrian Pines lately, have you?"

"Why no, why do you ask?" asked Stegosaurus.

"I am taking you to dinner; after a good meal of Austrian Pines you will figure it out."

"Okay it is a deal," said Stegosaurus. "I will guard you, and if any bears accost you, I will whack them with my cool, spiky tail."

"Fair enough." said Corythosaurus.

"If you feel like it later", asked Stegosaurus, "Will you bake some bread? Maybe the mammals in Santa Monica were not impressed, but I am very fond of your baking skills."

"Thank you kindly good friend. If there is time, I will be glad to," said Corythosaurus.

"My birthday has come around again," said Stegosaurus. "This year I am, I am told, 140 Million and 13 years old. It is hard to think on how much I have accomplished in my life when my brain is only the size of a walnut, but I certainly have enjoyed all the things I have done.
I used to need some one to remind me, but of recent years I've just taken to reading my blog archive, and that gives me a pretty good idea of my adventures. I'm not so much "Hopelessly stupid," as my friend Charles Knight once remarked ~ as I am easily absentminded and hyperfocused on my moment at hand. Which right now is another birthday and yet another cake!"

"I do enjoy my cake; I've liked cakes since cakes were invented you know. But I also do like pies. And this pie, is a blueberry pie. Blueberries you know contain antioxidants ~ and this, my friends is the secret to living to be 140 Million and 13. And when you reach a milestone such as this one, that I did last week on June 1st is that you get both a cake and a pie for your birthday. I'm a very practical dinosaur and easy to buy gifts for. Mammals have many things, that they own or they would like to own; I am just a dinosaur and as long as I have my health, a good cake, a good pie and a nice grove of Cycadales palm fronds, I will be content. And I shall strive to always be content; to help all my friends when ever I can, and unless a giant meteor falls from the sky between now and then, I expect to do the same thing when it is time for my 140 Million and 14th birthday!"

Bonjour, Mon nom est Loricatosaurus !!

Ça fait une semaine que je suis retourné en France de la Chine. J’ai passé une bonne vacance, Mais pas productive en ce qui concerne de me retrouver.

Mon époux était très heureux de me revoir, mais désappointé que de nouveau que je ne mets pas retrouver. Il m’a demandé à propos de la santé d’Wuerhosaurus, mais il était plus intéressé de ma santé parce qu’il ne m’avait pas vu pour quelques mois. Les travaux d’aller et de revenir de la Chine prend ceci prend beaucoup de temps ; leur bateaux sont très lent.



"Je suis désoler que tu ne t’as pas retrouvé," m’a dit mon époux. "Où vas-tu chercher ensuite ?"

"Je n’ai pas encore décidé," je lui ai dit. " J’ai été parti pour une longue période et j’aimerais plutôt passer du temps avec toi en France."

"Tu es très gentille, ma chère."

"C’est assez à propos de moi. Je vois que tu as gardé la caverne en ordre ; quoi d’autre s’est-il passé durant mon absence ?"

"Alors, Je veux te dire pourquoi je ne suis pas allé en Chine avec toi. J’avais lu un article sur l’internet avant ton départ pour l’Orient que j’étais devenu Nomen dubnium. J’ai peut-être un cerveau de la grosseur d’une noix, mais je sais ce que cela veut dire. Cela veut dire que mon existence est incertaine, et je pourrais disparaître d’un jour à l’autre, donc je me suis immédiatement arrangé d’avoir soin de toi pour ton avenir. Aussi je pense que nous ne devons pas avoir des petits, si nous en avons, et je disparais, ils vont grandir sans leur père et pour toi ce serait difficile."

"Bon j’ai reçu des nouvelles de notre cousin Kentrosaurus dans sa forêt, qu’il a planté le Terrain de Veuve pour tes soins. J’ai demandé à Kentrosaurus de venir en France aussi vite que son canot peut aller, ceci est lent mais c’est plus vite qu’un bateau de la Chine."

"Je suis touché, Lexovisaurus. Vraiment et sincèrement." Je lui ai dit.

"Je dois t’amener tout de suite pour le voir ; ce n’est pas prêt pour y vivre maintenant, les arbres doivent pousser. Mais je veux ton impression de ceci avant que je disparaisse."

"Je serais très heureuse d’y aller avec toi," je lui ai dit. " Le sentiment à propos de ceci est une des plus touchante chose que j’ai ressentis depuis le jour de notre première rencontre à L’Opéra Italienne. Mais je dois t’assurer que tu ne disparaîtrait pas parce que la science déclare que t’es Nomen Dubium. Si ceci était possible, tu aurais disparu il y a une décennie. J’indique que, tu as été déclaré Nomen dubium en 2008, et te voici encore vivant et en santé. Tu as continué de piétiner, malgré la classification scientifique, juste comme le Tranchodon ou la Agathaumas, ou quelques autres dinosaures que je pourrais nommer qui ne sont pas disparus dans cette histoire jusqu’à présent. Regarde à tout ce qu’ils ont accompli ! Regarde à tout ce que tu as accompli avant que tu connaisses de ton existence !! Ne pas exister n’est pas la fin du monde ; ce n’est pas comme un météore qui tombe du ciel. Oui ce serait quelque chose mais ceci est comme piétiné d’un groupe d’arbres à un autre ; des arbres au lac pour boire. Je suis sûre que Stégosaurus Claus va tous les ans t’apporter des cadeaux. Ne t’inquiète pas."

" Tu me dis que tu savais tout ce temps que j’étais Nomen dubium ?"

"Oui."

"Mais à propos de Torosaurus ? Il a disparu le même été que le Congrès Américain a eu un débat sur l’existence des Congressaurus Triceratops. "

"Torosaurus n’a pas disparu, mon cher," Je réplique. "Il a simplement été accord de devenir un Triceratops. Cette classification qu’il a été d’accord avec et essentiellement qu’il a changé son nom."

" Je suppose que tu as raison. Peut-être nous pouvons décider à avoir des petits après un certain temps."

"Après une longue période de temps, mon cher. Je viens de graduée et je voudrais jouir de quelques étés pour utiliser mon degré et de me retrouver."

"Je comprend."

"Je ne vais pas éliminer cette possibilité ; peut-être un jour nous pouvons le faire, mais pas maintenant, je voudrais me retrouver, si c’est possible."

"J’apprécie ma nouvelle forêt, mais je veux que tu saches que je vais toujours t’aimer si tu existes ou non. Après tout, la science peut quelquefois déterminer dans le futur que je n’existe pas, comme lorsque j’ai pris la classe d’étiquette sur "Vos Epaules Pointues et Situations Social Maladroits" lorsque je n’avais aucune épaules pointues !! Seul le temps le dira," j’ai dit

"Tu as raison. Viens, laisse-moi t’amener dans la forêt que j’ai plantée. Il y a beaucoup de Cycads et de Ginkgoaceae. Comme nous nous rappelons des jours quand nous sortions de nos coquilles," a dit Lexovisaurus. "Tu es le meilleur partenaire qu’un dinosaure peut demander," J’ai répondu. Après nous avons appréciés la fin de semaine ensemble dans notre belle forêt pas loin de notre chez-nous."

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On February 4th, 2019 Agathaumas and Trachodon arrived in Johannesburg, South Africa with the intent of meeting Woolly Mammoth at his Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival.

"Welcome friends!" came the greeting from Kentrosaurus, who was tending the bushes outside of the Church. "Agathaumas! Trachodon! What brings you to visit us here?"

"We have come to speak to Woolly Mammoth at the behest of your American cousin Stegosaurus."

"Mammoth will grant you audience I am sure, but after his sermon on St. John 16:13; this is today's bible verse and you are just in time for the sermon!"

Now Agathaumas and Trachodon were not particularly religious but they did believe in being polite so like Sister Quagga had done before them they politely entered the church and awaited the appearance of the proselytizing pachyderm.

"Where is Sister Quagga?" Trachodon asked Kentrosaurus.

"I know for a fact she is not here today. As far as I know she is where she usually is; on the African plains making sure that they do not become over grown. She may not come to Church; she is not a regular attendee, unfortunately."

Kentrosaurus paused, and then asked of Trachodon, "Is there something that has brought you here besides the Word of God?"

"Yes, Agathaumas and myself both," said Trachodon. " Now look! Here comes Woolly Mammoth now! Let us speak after the Sermon."

"Agreed," said Kentrosaurus.

"I will listen with you both," said Agathaumas.


"Welcome, Brothers and Sisters on this fine, beautiful day, this gift of the Lord. I greet you in the name of Christ Jesus. I see we have visitors today I was not expecting. May we all greet Agathaumas and Trachodon to our Church. Welcome and be blessed by the Word of God. said Woolly Mammoth.

Agathaumas and Trachodon acknowledged Woolly Mammoth but did not say anything, and he continued on with his Sermon.


This Sunday the Sermon is on the Gospel of St. John 16:13, Brothers and Sisters, and I want to be sure you know that no matter how bad things seem in the World today, the corruption, the crime, the depravity, seemingly perpetual wars that you should take heart and be glad. Yea, even now I say I raise mine eyes to the sky, I raise mine trunk and I say, "Dear Lord I know you are coming soon! You are my hope and refuge; wherein my heart is kept the ideal of your Grace. This is how I may endure. And I want you to endure too, Brothers and Sisters. I want you to feel the joy of that glorious day when the Lord takes the Chosen to His bosom so you should not despair! Not live in fear of the past or future!! If you have lost your way, fear not, for the Good Book, the Gospel of St. John, will show you the way. Behold, as the Lord has said unto us,'... but when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come." God will take your hand, your claw, your paw and hoof, and you shall not fear any one or anything. Hold fast to the Son Jesus and His Holy Father. God will help you on your journey and you will not falter. Let us turn to St. John yet again, he continues here by saying, "He will glorify me because it is from me that he will receive what he will make known to you. All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will receive from me what he will make known to you.” This knowledge is power,makes YOU powerful. Once you know the Truth you must apply it; it is a sin to know and not do!"

Fear not for the Spirit of Truth will guide you, and will tell you what is to come is glorious, if you will humble yourself before Him. You will know the truth without fear and you will be GLORIFIED in GOD'S GRACE! GLORIFIED IN THE WORD!"

Then, Woolly Mammoth asked, "Can I get an AMEN?"

And the congregation said, "Amen!"

"And will the congregation make known a warm welcome to our guests Trachodon and Agathaumas? We will bring the truth even to the nomen dubium! For the Grace of God and Wonder of Heaven belongs to even those of questionable existence! We love you all because GOD LOVES YOU ALL!"


"All that belongs to the Father is mine! I will make known to you the good Word! The good truth! Come to the Lord!"


And with that Woolly Mammoth finished his sermon and left the building.

"May we speak with Woolly Mammoth this afternoon?" asked Agathaumas of Kentrosaurus.

"I am sure," said Kentrosaurus. "Follow me."

"Follow us," Agathaumas said to Trachodon, wanting to be sure the Hadrosaur noticed them leaving the Church.

"At once," said Trachodon, following along.

"As I am sure you know," said Agathaumas to Kentrosaurus, "You may have heard we are here at the behest of your cousin Stegosaurus who would like to ask Woolly Mammoth if he'd like to extend the Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency with a cold weather division.

Places where it is icy and snows are too cold for Stegosaurids such as Stegosaurus and yourself; in fact it is too cold for most dinosaurs of any kind; but these places are still places where disaster happens. and Stegosaurus would very much like to see those who need help in those disasters receive it. He would like to ask Woolly Mammoth if he'd be willing to head a cold weather branch of the Disaster Relief Agency. Many of the Megafauna are cold weather animals and would be ideal for this office if they were so willing to help."

"I am sure Mammoth will consider it a Christian duty," said Kentrosaurus. "Let us ask to be certain."

The dinosaurs came to the backyard of the Church and there they found Woolly Mammoth eating a meal in the meditation garden.

"God be with you all," said Woolly Mammoth as he observed their arrival. "Kentrosaurus I see you have brought our nomen dubium guests. Welcome, Trachodon and Agathaumas. Peace be with you in my Garden."

"Thank you, Woolly Mammoth," said Trachodon.

"Thank you," said Agathaumas.

"Our friends come today at the behest of my cousin Stegosaurus," said Kentrosaurus.

"I have met him, yes. Is he well? Does he need a prayer?"

"I think he would not reject it, but nothing is wrong with him at this time," said Kentrosaurus.

"What does he need?" asked Mammoth.

After this point, Agathaumas and Trachdon spoke up and explained their mission to Woolly Mammoth as they had explained it to Kentrosaurus.

"I am indeed interested," said Woolly Mammoth. "I will speak to other megafauna and see if they, too are as interested as I. Kentrosaurus is right. I do certainly consider this the calling and the work of The Lord."

"I know that Western Black Rhino will speak with Woolly Rhino; and I think the Moa birds are so inclined to remain with the warm weather contingent as they are more adapted to the swampy weather of New Zealand. Rhedosaurus and his lovely wife may come help us as the Rhedosaurs seem to be one of the few dinosaur species who can tolerate colder climates. But, who can you think of that might be interested? Will you ask Sister Quagga when she returns from the African plains?"

"I can. I know Sister Quagga to be a kind and generous equine but she is dearly attached to maintaining the health of her African plains. If she refuses please do not take it to mean ill. I will bring up the proposal to Smilodon and Dire Wolf particularly when I see them. They do not come to Church as often as I'd hoped since I saved them from the tar pits in America but they are nonetheless upstanding Christians and I am sure will lend their paws and claws to this Goodly and Godly endeavor."

"And I shall go into the forest I planted to seek out Widow Ground Sloth and her son," said Kentrosaurus. "I am almost certain that they'd be delighted to be a part of your Megafauna cold weather Disaster Relief Agency."

So it was that Woolly Mammoth and Kentrosaurus set about upon the goals they had promised; Agathaumas and Trachodon had returned to Colorado to tell Stegosaurus the news that Woolly Mammoth, Dire Wolf, Smilodon and the Ground Sloths had all agreed to help.

They were of course still waiting on word from Sister Quagga and Woolly Rhino, but with the word and honor of Woolly Mammoth behind the plan it looked like Stegosaurus' plan was about to happen.

This was a source of great delight to Stegosaurus, who celebrated by dancing the lindy hop with his friends right on the spot.

"On January 4th I was visited by Congresssaurus Triceratops, lately retired from Congress, who related to me that he was glad to have left Washington, DC and the title of Congresssaurus behind him," said Stegosaurus. "He stomped from Washington, DC to Colorado right away, and was enthusiastic to tell me of his retirement plans and reason for his visit."

"I too, have read the book Gulliver's Travels and like you am fascinated by the idea of extracting sunlight from cucumbers," said Triceratops. "I came here because I thought I might spend my retirement years in the tranquil pursuits of science. After 70 million years of public service, I have left the Nation's Capitol and the work of a public servant behind. The time has come; my monument is no longer in danger, so I will be remembered when I am nothing but a fossil memory and Capitolsaurus has been appointed to replace me as the Spokes dinosaur for the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus. I have no fear for the future but whatever time is left to me in the world I want to spend it at peace, and though at present I feel as healthy as the day I left my shell, I know the motion of my blood no longer keeps pace with the rigors of political life. "

"I am glad to see you and glad to have you here," said Stegosaurus. "Indeed you can help me extract sunlight from cucumbers; perhaps with your brain being larger than mine you will be able to make advancements in this endeavor that are beyond my capacity."

"My life has been politics, not science," said Triceratops. But I am glad to try. I really want to make science the great hobby of my elder years. Not too many dinosaurs are interested in science, unfortunately. I have ever found science to be the province of mammals for the most part and would like to use my fame as a Congressaurus, and as one of the most classic of dinosaurs to encourage the study of science in our younger generations. Would it not be something special if it were a dinosaur to discover how sunlight may be extracted from cucumbers? An endeavor begun by mammals who have larger brains that you and I? I have my heart set on that."

"A worthy effort and a good use of your fame," said Stegosaurus. "Now may you enjoy studying my science books while I myself study a copy of Gulliver's Travels. Johnathan Swift was, it appears among the smartest and fastest of all in the history of mammals. Do you think that we have to go into a floating city like the mammal in the book, or not? Because I sure do dream of flying, and there was even one time I thought I had evolved feathers, but alas, it was but a cruel dream. Because I'd like to fly, or at least glide, as Edgar Rice Burroughs has let me do from time to time in one of his books."

"I have my doubts about our ability to fly. And we might get some one to take us into a flying city but then, how to we get down? The sky is not meant for us. It is meant for Pteranodon and other pterosaurs,"

"You are very wise," said Stegosaurus. "There is truth to what you say. I am glad you will help me with this endeavor."

As the afternoon went on Triceratops and I did not speak, as we were engaged in reading and learning the ways of science. Finally late in the afternoon, I spoke up and asked a question.

"What do you find in the science books? Does it make more sense using your larger brain?"

"Give me some time yet; I have encountered this thing mammals call physics in this book and am still trying to figure out how mammals smart enough to know this act so silly in Washington. I will let you know when I know," said Triceratops.

"Such things are a mystery known only to the mammals," observed Stegosaurus. "I will let you think on what you have learned, and will prepare for you, my guest, a nice meal of regular, non - diet Pteridophytes that were left to me as a gift from Stegosaurus Claus himself,"

said Stegosaurus.

"Thank you. How very kind." said Triceratops.

"So it was, that Triceratops spent the winter months with me in Colorado; and now I had a fellow scientist, a lab assistant to help me decipher that most interesting of mammal texts; perhaps with the help of my old friend Triceratops, 2019 will be the year that I am successful in my efforts to extract sunlight from cucumbers and we'll both be rich and famous, beyond anything we both could dream of. "

"Are we not already famous, as classic dinosaurs?" asked Triceratops. "I, who served Government in many forms over 70 million years; meeting Tyrannosaurus Rex for tea on every third Thursday. Beloved in cartoons, movies, and numerous scientific documentaries over the years, almost as famous as you yourself."

"Indeed, I suppose we are," conceded Stegosaurus. "And yet you are humble because it is mostly the small children who love me, for some reason. You have most of your fame among grown mammals as well."

"Let us work together," said Triceratops. If we put our heads together eventually we are bound to succeed!"