"I spent Thanksgiving by stomping forthrightly down to Georgia and spending it with my college class," said Stegosaurus. We all agreed we should take on an extra credit assignment and identify and eat a couple of trees native to the State. First, one of my classmates found a nice grove of Acer negundo, commonly known as the Boxelder. In some circles they are considered invasive, as they grow very fast. Though originating in the deep South these hearty, resilient plants can grow in many other places. They have been introduced in South America, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, and Asia. Perhaps I will send a seedling to Wuerhosaurus for Christmas, to put outside his cave; he'd like that. And to my Canadian friend Styracosaurus, who would call it by its Canadian name, Manitoba Maple. They make better Christmas presents than a Chia Pet, though there are times that I've been known to eat those too. The first few plants of this type that my classmates found had Boisea trivittata on them, but that was of no real concern since they generally do no harm to the plant at all.



When we had eaten our fill of Acer negundo, and I had gathered that which I plan to give away as gifts to my friends, we all stomped around forthrightly until we found some wonderful specimens of Catalpa bignonioides. This tree is also a native of the Southern United States, but it too, can be introduced into Canada and other parts of the world and thrive. I learned in class that when a Ceratomia catalpae ate of its leaves, the leaves produced an excess of nectar, which attracted ants to defend it from Ceratomia catalpae. I was dared to test this theory on Stegosaurids by my classmates, my classmates knowing my distinct dislike of insects. For sure this was proven, and in very short time much to my irritation I had insects under my scales and trying to get into my eyes. This was of much amusement to my classmates, who are lucky I know how to endure a good joke from time to time. The Catalpa bignonioides is accordingly not my favorite tree to eat, but I will say that they are quite delicious, and also low fat. Something to keep in mind during the Holidays!"

One bright, clear Sunday morning at the Woolly Mammoth Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival Sister Quagga spoke with an excessively overjoyed Kentrosaurus.

"Why are you so happy today, Kentrosaurus?" asked Sister Quagga. "Today, Sister Quagga, is a very special day," he rejoined. "I have always been just the loyal God fearing groundskeeper here. But today because Woolly Mammoth is suffering from laryngitis and cannot deliver the Sunday sermon, the task falls to me."
"Good luck," said Sister Quagga. "What is your sermon going to be on this Sunday?"
"I have changed nothing from what Woolly Mammoth planned before his illness. Scheduled today is a sermon on Colossians 3:12 ~ 17."
"Where is Woolly Mammoth at the moment?"
"Resting in the prayer garden. He's also feeling kind of down because the mammal scientists have failed to revive his DNA in mouse eggs, which has been a real setback in his quest for de - extinction."

"Oh," said Sister Quagga sadly. "I hope he does not feel down too long. The mammals are smart, and they'll figure it all out eventually. Wait and see."

"I hope so."

"To change the topic, I have a question to ask of you."

"What is it?"

"I've met some nice friends on the African plains recently who have said they'd like to come to the Church for a sermon. Would you mind if my friends known as Ostriches come and visit for a sermon?"

"Of course they may come! All are welcome to hear the Word of the Lord."

"I shall gallop to the plains and bring them back here with me."

"Very well. I will make them welcome."

"You'll like them. The novel thing about Ostriches is, they are not yet extinct."

"Fascinating."

As Sister Quagga left, Kentrosaurus retrieved his Bible and opened it to the Epistle to the Colossians, in order to prepare for his sermon.

Then he received a visit from Western Black Rhino.

"Hello, Kentrosaurus," said Western Black Rhino.

"Why, hello, Western Black Rhino. What brings you to visit? I hope you will come to my sermon later today."

"I am indeed planning on it, friend. I have a question for you."

"What is it?"

"I have finally met an extinct friend with which I have much in common. I visited with Woolly Rhinoceros to see if he'd like to join the planned Cold Weather Disaster Relief Agency. Happily he agreed, and wants to speak with Woolly Mammoth about it. Is Woolly Mammoth available?"

"Woolly Mammoth is in the prayer garden but alas ! He is suffering from laryngitis and cannot speak at the moment, hence the reason why I am giving the sermon today at Church."

"Aha!" said Western Black Rhino. "Well, I have brought Woolly Rhino with me, perhaps he'd like to stay for the sermon."

"Of course Woolly Rhino is welcome. Bring him back in a week or so, when Woolly Mammoth has recovered. I am certain that Woolly Mammoth will want to speak to him."

"Thank you, Kentrosaurus, I look forward to your sermon later today."

"God bless," said Kentrosaurus. "Oh, and let me tell you that Sister Quagga was just here; she is bringing some Ostriches with whom she has made friends on the African plains. So he won't be the only new guest to the Church today."

"That's wonderful," said Western Black Rhino.

When Western Black Rhino left, Kentrosaurus resumed the study of the scripture.

As the time approached for the sermon, Kentrosaurus was glad to see Sister Quagga returned with her Ostrich friends, Western Black Rhino with Woolly Rhinoceros, and even Smilodon and Dire Wolf, who had long ago promised to return after being rescued from the tar pits. Widow Ground Sloth and her son Junior were there as well as Woolly Mammoth, in spite of the fact that he could not speak at the moment.

"Welcome, Brothers and Sisters, began Kentrosaurus.

"Today I am honored to give you a sermon due to Woolly Mammoth being ill today. May God bless him with a speedy recovery. I never dreamed that one day I'd rise above groundskeeper to give a sermon of my own. Thank you, Lord Jesus and Woolly Mammoth for the opportunity."

Woolly Mammoth silently acknowledged Kentrosaurus, and then the sermon began.

" I want to speak today on St. Paul's Epistle to the Colossians. You, my friends, Brothers and Sisters, are the Chosen People of God. One of the many places that The Bible makes this clear is verses 12 through 17 of the Epistle to the Colossians. ' Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.' These are increasingly hard times in which we are living. Maybe not as bad as the time a meteor struck the Yucatán Peninsula, or a comet smashed into Greenland, but it is a time that increasingly tests the faith and endurance of those who call themselves Christian. But you must keep the faith and stay the course, at the end of the trial you will be worthy if you follow this advice. 'Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.' Life is too short. If you are a dinosaur, or megafauna, a meteor may come for you; if you are a mammal, as we know, your life is short so you must not bear any grudge with your neighbor; You do not know the number of your days, so things must be made right in case you face your final days. So you may leave in clear conscience without regrets of any kind. Forgive, for when you forgive there is peace; when you give you will receive the same. Several times over, these are the things you can take with you. As the possessions of the mortal coil must crumble and turn to dust, or fade away, but the feeling of your heart and soul remains. This will be counted for righteousness. Can I get an Amen, Brothers and Sisters? An Amen, please?"

"Amen!" said everyone. Everyone except Woolly Mammoth of course, but he had a good excuse !!!

Kentrosaurus continued, "There is an expression of unity! You will have perfect unity! For as the scripture says, ' ' And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity'.

"Bound in the Word and in the Love of our Lord God, and his Son, Jesus Christ! Love is eternal; for only that which is good can survive. Only love lasts. through all time."

"Verily, I say onto you, again from the Good Book, 'Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.'

"For this, my brothers and sisters, is the Grace of God. The Grace of the Lord is given to those who dwell with him in peace and unity. Be humble and supplicant in your entreaty, with prayer it will be granted unto you if you believe. Be thankful not just for the food you eat, not just for your scales or your fur, that there are no meteors in the sky, but for the love you have given and received. It is evidence of God, it is evidence of His manifestation; the manifestation of Jesus Christ. Jesus , God Himself calls upon you to be the Word manifest into the world"

"Now again, we return to the Epistle, and it says, 'Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.'

"So we shall sing today upon the conclusion of this sermon, as the Lord asks of us, as the Lord desires, that we, through him, may express appreciation and thanksgiving for all that we have and all that we are. Bring about Heaven, be the peace, be the love, be the example of your ideal, such a life honestly lived cannot fail your body or your soul. One last time we return to the Word in this sermon, and it says unto us, ' And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him'.

"The Lord is our example and our template. Let me give you an example of someone making God manifest to help their neighbor. Before I had the landscaping job here, I used to supplement my military pension by sending out emails from Nigerian "Princes", but it was Sister Quagga who was an instrument of the Lord in talking some common sense into me and convincing me that I should seek more honest employment. Before I even knew it, she was guiding my way, even if she knew it or not, to this Church, this land of Johannesburg, to my benefactor, Woolly Mammoth, who had faith in me and gave me a chance of redemption. Sister Quagga had made the Lord Jesus manifest through her actions towards me, and I try to return this same to everyone I meet. I hope I have not embarrassed you Sister Quagga, but I want you to know the impact you have had on my life and that I am thankful and gracious of your actions towards me in my time of need. "

Sister Quagga did not speak out, but her friends the Ostriches gathered around her and were speaking to her privately. Since she is a humble and unassuming creature she had not told them of her good deed.

"This concludes the sermon," said Kentrosaurus. "Now go forth in unity and brotherhood, to right the wrongs you can when you see them, to extend a hand to your friend or your enemy as well, in times of need be as one in unity, for this is the path to enlightenment. Thank you."

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"I feel bad for Congresssaurus Triceratops after getting so close to extracting sunlight from cucumbers," said Stegosaurus. "They sure were delicious cucumbers, though. I'm sure we'd have gotten some great sunlight from them! In the interests of being helpful, I thought I'd read this magazine with vegetarian recipes in it; surely I thought the answer would be right under my snout !! But no luck !! There are recipes that involve the use of cucumbers, but not any that tell you how to extract sunlight from those cucumbers. Sigh.

We found the answer once, and we can find it again! No matter how long it takes we will succeed !!! For the benefit of dinosaur and mammal alike, science will advance !! We'll save the environment and increase the life of the sun by extracting sunlight from cucumbers !! We'll also show those smug mammal scientists with their larger brains how smart a dinosaur can be!"

In August Congresssaurus Triceratops returned to his native Wyoming for a time, and so Stegosaurus decided to take a trip himself as he had not left his home for a while. He decided upon visiting Washington DC, because he had heard that his home at the Smithsonian Institution was reopened there. Newly renovated courtesy of the Koch Brothers.

"I'm pleased to stomp there for the first time since the museum closed my home for renovation in 2014," said Stegosaurus.

"The mammals have updated their science which is to be expected; they've learned a lot about us in the last 40 or 50 years. Or, maybe it was the last few weeks. It wasn't that long ago. I am however still kind of disappointed to find that I don't have feathers yet. That was something I really had my heart set upon, but the time has not yet arrived. Nonetheless, I found all my friends to be very much more active in their general manner than I had remembered from previous visits."

"I was able to sneak by Tyrannosaurus Rex as he was occupied with Triceratops, ( I was sure Triceratops had gone to Wyoming, but I didn't stop to ask ... it looked like a bad time. ) I also knew that I had to keep a wary eye out for Ceratosaurus, a meat eating theropod with a demeanor and appetite very similar to my brother Allosaurus. Indeed, instead of greeting me in a civil manner like most of my herbivore friends do, he sneakily tried to eat me. So I taught him a lesson, fortunately I was quick and knocked him down with my cool, spiky tail. Now he will think twice before attacking me again!"

"All in all, the Koch Brothers have done a fine job with my new home; and it isn't just my Mesozoic contemporaries that I get to visit with: as before my friends from the Pleistocene are there too. I heartily encourage you to visit and learn from my newly renovated home. I frequently come to museums to make a few extra dollars. It is easy work as long as you don't mind standing still for long periods of time and pretending to be extinct. Won't you visit? I'd love to see you."



Amid All the Fossils, Smithsonian’s New Dinosaur Exhibition Tells the Complex Story of Life

In mid July, Congresssaurus Triceratops was still in Colorado visiting Stegosaurus when he heard the news from Washington, DC that he had been cleared of collusion with Russia by the United States Congress.

"I'm glad to hear this, friend Congresssaurus Triceratops," said Stegosaurus.


"Me too; the accusation was groundless .... I was only attending a local production of Finian's Rainbow; and of course I spoke to Londonderry Birds on my way home .... there was never any connection to Russia ........ just power mad mammals who saw what they wanted to see."

"Their concern isn't the welfare of the country; what they are doing is only for the short term gain of their party; not a one of them stands on any thing even remotely resembling honor or principle. There is no integrity to be found in the Halls of the US Congress."

"Will you be returning to Congress, then?" asked Stegosaurus. "It looks like they need your sense of honor and integrity."

"No, no, no. It took me a while to embrace the idea of retirement; I've been in public service for the better part of 70 million years. I've spent years of public service in Greece; in Rome; in Europe; and the United States. Not only has the political climate discouraged me ( as I have seen it so many times before. ) and if the mammals' shenanigans or a meteor falls from the sky and ends it all, I should like to spend some time in my life in the pursuit of more peaceful endeavors that may help both dinosaur and the race of mammals in other ways."

"The pursuit of science is my newest endeavor; and with my remaining years I shall shed light and bring hope to the future by helping you to extract Sunlight from cucumbers."

"Let us prepare a nice mid afternoon snack, and we can compare notes on our progress when I return," said Stegosaurus.

"I have a couple of cucumbers I'd like to show you; while you were away meeting with your accountant Corythosaurus, I think there has been a great stomp forward. I may have been successful in something mammals have been trying for, trying to succeed at since the year 1726. I think I have extracted sunlight from cucumbers!"

"That's great," said Stegosaurus. "I knew that having your larger brain around would be an advantage to the cause. I will return in a moment."


"How about some leftover Austrian Pines? They're leftover from Corythosaurus' visit."

"That would be great."

"I'll add some vegetables from the garden too."

"Some tomatoes would be nice."

Stegosaurus returned with a nicely prepared meal of Austrian pines and cucumbers for two.

Stegosaurus and Congresssaurus Triceratops dug into their meal right away and ate heartily. Before too long, they had finished.

"Well now that was a very good meal. Remain here, and I shall retrieve my cucumbers to show you the scientific advancement to which the mind of dinosaurs have contributed. They laughed at us in the realm of science; they said because we were dinosaurs we were too slow witted to understand the complexities of science. Why, for science, they said, you need a mammal brain !! But I, but you and I have proved them wrong today!" declared Congressaurus Triceratops.

"I know how it is. Sometimes I think they never acknowledge the fact that we aren't slow and slow witted cold blooded swamp monsters. I will await news of your exciting discovery!" said Stegosaurus.

However before too long a time, Congressaurus Triceratops returned distressed. "Where are the two cucumbers I set aside while you were meeting with Corythosaurus?"

"On the rock ledge to the left," said Stegosaurus. "That's where I keep stuff I've harvested from the garden."

"I see no cucumbers there; only tomatoes. Wait.... were we not supposed to have tomatoes with our meal?"

"Yes, but I saw some cucumbers there and I thought that might be better for lunch and we could save the tomatoes for dinn .... um, oops."

"Oh Stegosaurus, Stegosaurus ....."

"Oh dear. I hope we can still be friends .... I didn't mean to ..... will you still stay in Colorado? Can't you repeat your experiment? I'll help you in any way I can. I am really sorry."

"Of course we can still be friends, and I will remain in Colorado as long as you will have me ..... I will just have to start over again. I sure hope I can remember all the complex steps."

"I'm really sorry, Congresssaurus Triceratops. Really."

"Don't worry. I'm just as guilty of eating them as you are ... also, I've served in Congress I'm used to such setbacks and having to go back to the drawing board, to use a mammal expression. What we did once, we can do again, science has been waiting a long time for this breakthrough, it will just have to wait a little bit longer."

"One day last week I was visited by my loyal, hard working accountant known as Corythosaurus," said Stegosaurus. "We have rarely met in person, being such busy individuals, but I had received word from him that we needed to meet to discuss an important business matter, so I invited him to my home in Colorado".

"I have stomped all the way from my home in the Red Deer River of Alberta to discuss with you an important matter," said Corythosaurus.

"I will attend with great interest the things that you have to say, but do tell, how is our mutual friend Styracosaurus doing?"

"Styracosaurus is doing just fine; he has asked you to come visit some time soon, as he cannot eat all the coffee plants by himself."

"Have you eaten coffee plants?" asked Stegosaurus.

"I considered it at one point, but now I have stumbled upon an invention of the mammals called Diet Coke and that is my favorite."

"I have never tried this mammal invention," said Stegosaurus. "But returning to the important reason for your visit, is it that brings you to Colorado? What concern could be so great?"

"Well you know I am your loyal hard working accountant and I have for years kept an eye on your various investments. Many are doing well you have chosen wisely many times. Of course, with me as your advisor, how could you fail? But there is one endeavor that has not panned out the way we had hoped. Both of your apartment complexes designed for mammals, in Sunnyvale, California and the other in Santa Monica are failing.
We started them out in March 2014 with high hopes, but it looks now like the best thing might be to close them down and re direct those resources into other things."

"What ever you think is best," said Stegosaurus; "I trust your judgement but tell me what is the cause of this?"

"We've tried, but they never really quite took off as we'd hoped to start. As it turns out the first couple of years we barely broke even, and since 2016 we have been losing money. I even tried opening a bakery to sell bread at the Santa Monica location but there appeared to be little interest."

"Why? You do make a good bread," said Stegosaurus.

"I do make a good bread, but there were not a lot of mammals living there at the time to have the impact I had expected, and I much prefer my home on the Red Deer River in Canada to the hustle and bustle of California."

"What do you think was the cause? Not your baking?"

"No not at all it is the business model. Mammals really don't use trees as currency in any capacity, and they don't eat them at all. The apartments are too small to fit dinosaurs and in order to modify the apartments for them, we'd have to tear down the old complexes and rebuild. It's just too expensive."

"But I don't understand. Weren't the mammals spending enough to live there? Did the forests become extinct? I knew I had been away from California for too long!" exclaimed Stegosaurus.

"Now Stegosaurus, you know that an economy requires more than mammal spending. We could make a law that says mammals get 100 extra a month in spending money because they are smaller and thus, suffer disadvantages that we taller, heavier dinosaurs do not, but that in and of itself would not solve the problem. It is not a long term view and does not take into account the effects of such a policy on the whole group. Why there is more to a mammal economy than that certain species spend while others are taxed because certain groups think they can afford it or deserve it.

What about considering the payment of wages?

The importance of capital maintenance ?

How to account for the lack of new capital investment?

Nothing is ever that simple."

"Well, what if a mammal lives in New York and bagels cost $7.00, why can't that mammal be paid $15.00 an hour?" asked Stegosaurus.

"Sigh." said Corythosaurus. "You haven't been eating Austrian Pines lately, have you?"

"Why no, why do you ask?" asked Stegosaurus.

"I am taking you to dinner; after a good meal of Austrian Pines you will figure it out."

"Okay it is a deal," said Stegosaurus. "I will guard you, and if any bears accost you, I will whack them with my cool, spiky tail."

"Fair enough." said Corythosaurus.

"If you feel like it later", asked Stegosaurus, "Will you bake some bread? Maybe the mammals in Santa Monica were not impressed, but I am very fond of your baking skills."

"Thank you kindly good friend. If there is time, I will be glad to," said Corythosaurus.