A few days before the Christmas holiday, Stegosaurus Claus arrived in Johannesburg, South Africa to pick up Spinosaurus so that Spinosaurus could protect the jolly old stegosaurus stenops during his annual journey around the world delivering presents to all the good boys and girls everywhere. Once Spinosaurus was prepared for the journey, they both stomped to Cape Town, South Africa to visit Sister Quagga. They found her grazing on the vast African plain.

"Hail, Sister Quagga, and happy holidays to you!" declared Stegosaurus Claus.

"Stegosaurus Claus!" exclaimed Sister Quagga. "Spinosaurus! What a surprise this close to Christmas Day! What brings you here to Cape Town?"

"Spinosaurus is coming with me as he has the last couple of years to protect me on my journey around the world, and we thought we'd stop by to visit and say hi before we got really busy."

"How very kind," said Quagga, "I am trimming these plains here to make them look nice for my own holiday coming up soon. You know how festive I am; I am always ready for a cheerful celebration."

"Quaggamas is a fine holiday," said Stegosaurus Claus. "I'd be very glad to help you but it is so close to Christmas, and Spinosaurus and I must return to my workshop in Brazil before Christmas Eve."

"Understood; no problem at all," said Quagga cheerfully. One thing about Quaggas, besides being inherently festive, they are also quite cheerful creatures.

"I can hardly wait for Christmas Eve!" declared Spinosaurus with the zeal of a young child. "I hope lots of children are naughty this year; I'm very very hungry."

"Now wait, wait, what did I tell you the first time, and any other Christmas season I have had your company on my travels?" asked Stegosaurus Claus. Then, he answered his own question. "I said you may whack naughty children with your tail, not eat them. Never eat them. Never. If you do, I will ask Tyrannosaurus Rex to come with me. He asked again this year, you know and I told him you were still coming with me. Now mind your manners, because eating Children does not exactly evoke the Christmas Spirit."

"Awwwww..." said Spinosaurus.

"Now I know you try hard, and I trust you," said Stegosaurus Claus.

"Not even one? Not even a little one? I promise to be discreet."

"Not even one. Not only will Tyrannosaurus Rex come with me if you eat so much as one, I'll never bring you presents on Christmas ever, ever again!"

"Okay. I'll do my best."

"Good."

"I'm glad that issue is resolved .... or stays resolved," said Quagga.

"What else do you need to do to prepare for your holiday of Quaggamas?" asked Stegosaurus Claus.

"The call for traditions in this relatively young holiday is still out there and I am hoping it will pick up as the years go by. Some things just start out slowly. I trim my plains, brush my coat, look festive and cheerful to everyone I meet. I believe that this is a wonderful world we live in and I choose to make my journey here and my interactions with fellow creatures pleasant. Of course my ultimate goal is to see the Quagga Project bear definitive proof so that I may become de-extinct; like Woolly Mammoth my hope is to return to the land of the living."

"You have a good heart, Sister Quagga, a good heart and good blessings come to those who are pure in heart and intent. I will leave you with a generous helping of goodwill, love, and Christmas spirit. I also leave you with the word of my ancient fathers, Shalom .... may all good things be yours.... I can assure you that you find your own blessings when you put others before yourself. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you."

"To you the same," said Quagga. "May your journey be safe, and Spinosaurus remain trustworthy."

"I know what my nature is," said Spinosaurus, ".....but I too, am overcome with Christmas spirit after all these uplifting words, and wish nothing but peace on earth to all. The world needs us not to argue and must have peace and goodwill now more than ever."

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In early October, Woolly Mammoth and Kentrosaurus stomped to Lake Tahoe in California near The Eldorado National Forest.

"My intent today is to hold the grandest spiritual revival the United States has ever seen in its history. One that Reverend Billy Graham and God himself can be proud of," said Woolly Mammoth. "I want to bring the Word of the Lord to all who will hear today and save souls from the cold land of extinction!"

"By the grace of God, I believe you will," said Kentrosaurus. "I am going into the Eldorado Forest to see if I can find gold.."

"Now, you know it says in the Good Book that you cannot serve two masters, God and money," scolded Woolly Mammoth suddenly. "What good use can you make of shiny rocks?"

"I read on the internet how much mammals like those shiny rocks," said Kentrosaurus, "... and I am sure I can find enough to kickstart a fundraiser for the wife and children of Giant Ground Sloth, they are going to need the help and I'd really like to plant a nice forest for them to live in with the resources I gain from that endeavor."

"This is very wise!" exclaimed Woolly Mammoth. "I am proud of you, and I should immediately apologize for jumping to conclusions."

"Thank you, but there is no need," said Kentrosaurus.

"I will go down to the river to pray," said Woolly Mammoth. "I will wade in the water. I will baptize with water to prepare the way like John did, for he who shall baptize with fire. Many shall come, many shall hear the Word. And many shall be saved. Much more than at the tar pits, even."

"I am sure to return from my venture before the end of your sermon. I will help you make a joyful noise unto the Lord Jesus," said Kentrosaurus.

"You are welcome to be there; look at the crowd that has assembled already to hear me speak. Wow," said Woolly Mammoth, momentarily stunned by his own fame.

"I must go, may the Word of the Lord come to me true, and speak the truth to the people."

Thus, Kentrosaurus went to dig for gold, in hopes of raising the resources to plant a forest for the family of Giant Ground Sloth to live in; while Woolly Mammoth stomped forthrightly to the edge of Lake Tahoe. Many people had come to hear him speak, and he was immediately humbled.

"Brothers and sisters, I greet you this afternoon, in the name of Lord Jesus. I am humbled by your presence, and I pray you will find the peace of the Lord and wisdom in the words I speak today. I am compelled to speak a sermon on St. Matthew 6:25 ~ 34. Hark! and pray attend!"

"We have endured much turmoil of late in this country; there needs to come about healing and peace; love and understanding. Open your hearts and minds to the Word and the Grace of the Lord, who waits to embrace you as you embrace your brother and sister in Christ. There has been much anxiety that brings a tear to my eye, for in the immediate moment, the only thing we can do is pray and wait to listen for that still, small voice within. The time to act may come, we will stand vigilant against injustice, but for now we must be still and know the Lord God. The Lord advises us through his Holy Son Jesus Christ, "Be thou not anxious; free thy mind and seek the light within. Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Can I get an Amen, brothers and sisters? An AMEN!?!!?"

The crowd responded as asked; Woolly Mammoth then declared "Raise your voice to the Lord Jesus in Heaven, AMEN! He is without, but He is also WITHIN. Seek high, and seek low, travel far and near, and it will yet be easier to find Christ within than without. As you raise your voice high, look upon the birds above!! Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? Oh, verily, one moment to his years, if ye are one or one million, ye have but one life to give, and Christ awaits for thee."
"If a positive outcome thou dost want, it must begin as thought.... how much pain we suffer over imagined injustice before brother horse has left the gate; speak not with animosity to thy brother, thy sister, thy mother and father, nor any kin, of blood or land near or far. Seek to create change on earth by thought to bring about the outcome thou most desire. If thy goal is honest the Lord will hear thy earnest prayer. Verily, I say unto thee, the words of the Good Book: And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. Like wise, a famous mammal of this Country once said, "How much pain hath cost us the evils which have never happened?" Keep your faith alive, and ye shall be rewarded! Keep the course true, and the Light of the World shall indeed light the way! I raise mine eyes, and my trunk, to the Heavens in gratitude and glory to He who is the Lord and King of Kings!!"

"Verily I say to thee the WORD of the Lord: But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. If you are feeling evil upon you, come to Lake Tahoe with me after my sermon, and I shall conduct baptisms in the lake to give you peace, heal your heart, and SAVE your SOUL. My purpose in coming here, indeed, in returning from the cold, dark Land of extinction is to save your souls! I want to see you happy, I want to see you free in the light and love of the Lord Jesus!"

"Can I get an amen, brothers and sisters? An amen?"

The enraptured crowd responded as asked, to which Woolly Mammoth rejoined, "AMEN! PRAISE JESUS!"

As the sermon concluded, Kentrosaurus returned from his treasure hunting, pleased with all that he had found to help him attain the resources to plant a forest for the wife and children of Giant Ground Sloth to live comfortably in. But for the time being he went down to the water and assisted Woolly Mammoth with the baptisms then taking place.

They sang songs, danced and rejoiced. At the end of the evening, the revival was over, Woolly Mammoth and Kentrosaurus bid farewell to all who had attended, and to the USA. They returned forthwith to South Africa and the Holy Pentecostal Church of the Pleistocene Revival where they again rejoiced and praised God for their safe return in devout prayer.

In late September, just before the start of the Fall season, Stegosaurus stomped forthrightly to Scotland to visit his friend Plesiosaur before his semester started at school. On the banks of Loch Ness, he joined Plesiosaur to make a joint statement during a public press conference.

"Good afternoon, press corps of Scotland, and places around the World .... Dinosaurus and Megafauna, Hello, I'd like to welcome you to the banks of Loch Ness, in beautiful wonderful Scotland. I'm pleased to see you all here today," said Stegosaurus. "I am here this fine afternoon with my friend Plesiosaur to talk to you. She would like to make a statement to the press regarding her recent "appearance" in the loch."

"Thank you, Stegosaurus," said Plesiosaur. "You are so kind."

"Good afternoon, loyal friends and fans. I would like to address my recent "appearance" in the news. I know you all love me, and since about 1933 a lot of very bad photographers have taken very bad photographs that purport to be of me in this very loch. I am told that I am personally responsible for boosting the tourism industry of the lovely country of Scotland which I think loves me most of all. I appreciate the attention, honestly I do, but after 83 years it is finally time to come clean and be honest about this whole business of Loch Ness and what and who lives there. I must say that this press conference was not called without a good deal of soul searching thought and consideration. The last thing I want to do is harm the fanciful dreams of small children, the ambition of slightly kooky researchers, and certainly not the tourist industry of my friendly hosts in Scotland. I hope I can be forgiven if what I say here today causes any sadness, or economic calamity.

It is just that I have to be honest. This new picture of "me" is nothing more than a trio of seals. Nothing against seals, I like seals they are some of the most adorable mammals invented since mammals were invented. They're just not ME. Also, I am not Eels. Some of the pictures that are supposed to be of me are actually Eels. They are very large Eels; we have very large Eels here larger than the average but they are just Eels. Nothing against Eels OR seals, but they are not ME. The truth is, I do not live here at all. I do not live in Canada; I am not Ogopogo of Lake Okanagan. I am not Champ, the Lake Champlain Monster, I do not live in Sweden, or Patagonia. I have never met any Saints in the Christian religion; Not here at Loch Ness or anywhere. In fact, I do not live here at all. I'm very sorry to disappoint you."

"Now everyone calm down! Calm down!" Insisted Stegosaurus, trying to still the anxiety of a murmuring press corps. "Please eat some aloe plants...."

"I DO have good news," said Plesiosaur. "I do not live here, but I know someone who does. Be calm, please be calm."

The press became quiet and listened.

"I do not live here..." said Plesiosaur, "....but my friend Elasmosaurus does. We look very similar, which is why we can be confused... particularly with the grainy pictures that are taken here. We just don't photograph well, I suppose. But the trick is that Elasmosaurus, she's agoraphobic, so she does not come to the surface. She's always been afraid of mammals, but since mammals have dominated the landscape in the last few million years there are just too many to make her feel comfortable about coming to the surface. She assures me that it isn't you, its her, so don't feel badly, please. You probably won't see Elasmosaurus and you won't see me because I don't live here. You will see some nice and friendly seals and Eels. Thank you, everyone, thanks for coming. I know it sounds harsh, it has been a joke that has gone on for over 80 years, and I just couldn't let it go on anymore. I suspect in spite of this press conference today the sightings will yet continue for generations more, since many mammals are blind to facts that contradict what they want to believe about anything, so I hope you all will continue to have fun photographing seals, Eels and logs and trying to convince your friends and neighbors that they are me. Thank you and good afternoon."

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“The Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency stomped forthrightly down to Louisiana as soon as we heard the mammals down there were in trouble,” said Stegosaurus. “My classmates and I went to work repairing the levee along the Amite River in Ascension Parish, while a flock of Moa Birds, along with Rhedosaurus and his lovely wife Lady Rhedosaurus went to Livingston Parish to help rebuild mammal structures, since 75% of the mammals who lived there lost their homes.
When my friend Western Black Rhino showed up and asked where he could be of the most help, I sent him there. I’m so glad to see him getting out and about more these days. The first few months of his extinction were really hard on him; That kind of thing, getting out and engaging with the world is really important to do, especially the first few hundred years you’re extinct. 146,000 mammal homes were damaged across the entire State of Louisiana, so he’ll have a lot of work to keep him busy.”
“I have also heard, said Stegosaurus, from Lady Rhedosaurus how proud she is of her husband lately as he has really worked to improve his relationship with figures of mammal authority. She said,
“He has really reduced his intake of policemen, once the primary staple of his diet, down to about one or two a week! I feel they’re really starting to let bygones be bygones and trust him not to rampage and eat them alive. It’s such a nice feeling.”
“I know he’s worked really hard at it,” said Stegosaurus.
“Yes, he was tempted to eat a member of the National Guard, but resisted! Also, he hasn’t yet eaten a single member of the Cajun Navy. He hasn’t even threatened them!” Swooned Lady Rhedosaurus.
“He hasn’t eaten a Paleontologist since Professor Thurgood Elson in 1953!” Lady Rhedosaurus continued enthusiastically. "Not that there is one here at the moment to be had ..."
“I began to find some of this hard to believe. If he was not consuming his regular diet, then what was he eating? It can’t possibly be that Rhedosaurus suddenly decided to give plant eating a try, but I hoped for the best. It would be quite tragic if one of the rescuers employed by The Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency terrorized the locals. “
"We were really too busy to worry about all of that in the end," said Stegosaurus. After all, there had been 2 feet of rain in three days; we had a lot of work to do. The media didn't report on it much, they didn't even report that WE were there, and you know when I'm around I usually make the press. I would have held my own press conference, as I am very fond of those, but I was just too busy helping those in need and saving lives. It was so unfortunate that we couldn't get there in time to save the 13 mammals who became extinct; but we did the best that we could. "
"A contingent of my classmates and I went up to East Baton Rouge Parish, to the city of Zachary, Louisiana, which suffered very badly. 26 inches of rain fell. We went to assist the Louisiana National Guard, the Coast Guard, and even the Cajun Navy to rescue those who were trapped and needed help. The Upland Moas organized a soup kitchen, which was vegetarian based until Lady Rhedosaurus showed up also and agreed to feed the meat eaters beef, ham, and seafaring animals, provided that the rescue crew was never on the menu.
This was the vegetarian menu, when the Moa Birds opened the soup kitchen:
Makeover Ultimate Cornbread
Rhubarb Cornbread Stuffing
Black Eyed Pea Salsa
Spicy Asparagus Spears
Vegetable Chili
Spinach Po Boys
Vegetarian Jambalaya
Creole Butter Beans
And then, once Lady Rhedosaurus arrived, meat was added to the menu
Classic Natchitoches Meat Pie
Southern Fried Pork Chops
Muffuletta Po’ boys
Smoked Sausage Jambalaya with Bayou Fried Chicken
Easter Ham with Coffee Glaze
Beef Daube Pot Pie
Satsuma-Glazed Ham
Grilled Venison with Chimichurri

Western Black Rhino became the mascot of the Cajun Navy, as he allowed small children to ride upon his back. It was a lot of hard work, but I always feel better for helping those in need, and gain a lot of satisfaction when I see things that had been a disaster return to normal. "
The Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency left Louisiana in early September, but the residents of Louisiana will need assistance for some time yet. I encourage you to help out where ever you can. In Louisiana or in your own hometowns. In times of strife, the best parts of nature can shine through."

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So it was in August that Kentrosaurus and Woolly Mammoth left South Africa for California USA on a mission trip to the La Brea tar pits in order to minister to the animals trapped there. Determined to save some souls, Woolly Mammoth arrived in California in a particularly zealous attitude. He said to Kentrosaurus, " We shall bring the Light of the World to La Brea on this trip!"

"Yes, indeed," agreed Kentrosaurus. "The Lord Jesus shall shine across the ages and touch the hearts of many. We are doing the work of the Lord."

The two religious leaders arrived at La Brea in the early afternoon, and felt compelled to begin sermonizing earlier than planned. There was stuck there a Dire Wolf and a Giant Ground Sloth, the Sloth being the most trapped in the sticky morass, and likely to die soon. Woolly Mammoth saw this and immediately got as close as he could, which made Kentrosaurus nervous.

"Brother," said he, addressing Giant Ground Sloth, "Have you accepted the Lord Jesus as your personal savior?"

"I don't mean to be rude," said Giant Ground Sloth, "..... but please spare me the lecture. I ate a lot of peaches in my lifetime, and will find Jesus on my own."

"No one will lecture you here, my son," reassured Woolly Mammoth. "..... indeed as it says in the Book of the Ephesians: "Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but such that is good for building up, as the need may be, and that it may give grace to those that hear. Ephesians Chapter 4, verse 29. This also reminds me of a relevant verse from the Proverbs, 18:21 ...."

"Oh please ...." complained the Dire Wolf. "One is enough! Do go away forthwith, or things will end very badly for you."

Kentrosaurus knew that the Dire Wolf was trapped in the tar and his threats were likely bluster, but unlike the hapless Giant Ground Sloth, it was possible that Dire Wolf could free himself and be a danger to Woolly Mammoth. Without fear Woolly Mammoth recited his chosen verse from Proverbs, 18:21: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue; and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof."

"Now, " said Woolly Mammoth, "Perhaps do you think the fruit of the tongue is peaches?"

"That is enough! Enough is enough!" declared Dire Wolf. "Either let us out of here or leave us alone and let us die in peace!"

Then, suddenly, a distraction occurred that appeared in the form of a Smilodon. Kentrosaurus stepped in front of Woolly Mammoth, in order to protect him, but the Smilodon had his eye on Giant Ground Sloth, as the helpless giant was the weakest animal in the group. Giant Ground Sloth was afraid, but also resigned to his fate. "Tell my wife and children that I love them!" he exclaimed loudly.

"There is dinner!" Exclaimed Smilodon, as he leaped in the air.

"I am slain!" cried Giant Ground Sloth, as Smilodon's fangs sank into his exposed shoulder. He was so far down in the tar, pushed by the weight of Smilodon, that Smilodon was not able to eat him; he drowned in the tar, and now Smilodon was trapped.

Woolly Mammoth stepped away from Kentrosaurus and he said, " I shall preach on the New Testament book of St. Matthew, Chapter 7, verse 5. There are many in these last days who think not of judging others, but there are still more who, it seems have made a career out of judgement and ridicule. Those who apply their faults to their enemy can find a closer source of discord in their mirrors. I say it again, brothers and sisters... AMEN! For the fault lies in their own mirrors!"

"Thus, what a wicked and rash generalization to make when life is so short, as we have just seen with the fate of poor Giant Ground Sloth. We should all pray mercy for the soul of Giant Ground Sloth."

"Yet, at a time like now, instead of love and compassion, we see that which was imposed upon the enemy reflected in the supposedly compassionate! Verily! Thou hypocrite! First, cast the beam out of thine own eye, and then, thou shalt see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. "

All this time, Dire Wolf had been working to free himself from the tar, and Kentrosaurus saw this, so he again put himself in front of Woolly Mammoth.

Yet, Dire Wolf was not quite able to free himself on his own, as he kept slipping back into the tar, falling just short of the ability to reach the edge of the pit, and freedom. He tried this several times, and finally began to feel exhausted.

"You should be an agent of The Lord, and assist that Dire Wolf," Woolly Mammoth observed to Kentrosaurus.

Kentrosaurus did not respond, but went right to work as asked.

"If you promise not to attack me, or Woolly Mammoth, I will promise to help you," said Kentrosaurus to Dire Wolf.

Dire Wolf was so exhausted, that his arrogant bravado had evaporated, and he said weakly, "Agreed." and then, "I promise."

"I am going to extend my tail out. Grab on, and I will pull you in, but beware not to impale your self on one of my tail spikes," said Kentrosaurus.

Dire Wolf followed instruction as he was told, and very shortly was safe on land.

"Woolly Mammoth's sermonizing has not yet convinced me," said Dire Wolf, "Though I am grateful, so I will travel to South Africa next spring and pay a visit to your Church."

"You will be welcome, brother," assured Woolly Mammoth. Thus, Dire Wolf walked into the woods, after saying, "Thank you for saving me, in spite of my rude comments earlier."

"Forgiveness and love are two hallmarks of the Christian way of life," observed Woolly Mammoth. "Be well and go in peace. Lekh beshalom, my son."

"Will you save me, in spite of the fact that I murdered Giant Ground Sloth?" pleaded Smilodon.

"With the same caveat that I gave Dire Wolf," assured Kentrosaurus.

"If you can save me, I will dedicate my life to the service of your God," said Smilodon. "I hereby repent my sin in the act of murder."

"I take you at your word," said Kentrosaurus, "Now follow the same instruction that I gave Dire Wolf, and you shall soon be again safely on land."


Alas, but Smilodon was too far out, and Kentrosaurus could not risk going out much further without falling backward into the tar pit himself.

Woolly Mammoth, seeing this, exclaimed, "Do not despair, Smilodon! We will yet rescue you in the name of Lord Jesus!"

Woolly Mammoth went into the woods in search of a vine, by which, he intended to wrap around his trunk, and extend out to Smilodon, a considerable length longer ( and safer ) than Kentrosaurus' spiky tail.

Meanwhile, Kentrosaurus spoke a sermon of comfort to Smilodon. He recited Philippians 4:6-7, saying:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

"Know Jesus, and know peace." encouraged Kentrosaurus. "Fear not, for Woolly Mammoth shall return anon, and you will be rescued from this horrible fate suffered by Giant Ground Sloth and so many others."

Woolly Mammoth returned from the woods with a stout, strong vine, and following instruction, Smilodon was summarily rescued.

"You both are prime examples of your religion and your way of life," said Smilodon, "Thank you." Smilodon then went on his way.

"Behold, Kentrosaurus! "We have done good work, and saved souls here today. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ, Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit!" observed Woolly Mammoth, with a certain amount of pride and zeal.

"Yes indeed we have." concurred Kentrosaurus. "We should stay here and minister to the poor suffering animals tomorrow. We will have more converts for peace than ever before."

"This is my intent," agreed Woolly Mammoth. "We shall do so, and as soon as possible hold a revival festival where we can minister, hold baptisms, sing hymns, draw in the masses and celebrate the glory of the Lord."

"I also think it a good idea to run a fund raiser benefit for the wife and little young ones of Giant Ground Sloth." said Kentrosaurus. "I shall set upon this task with determination. The hand of the Lord Jesus moves me to assist the downtrodden in any way I am able. I follow your example."

"A very good idea!" agreed Woolly Mammoth. "Today The Lord has set our worthy task. Let us get to it and make it a reality."

"I hope you are all having a great summer so far," said Stegosaurus. "I had a nice surprise I wasn't expecting, and the summer isn't even half over yet! I have been patiently waiting several years now for Marilyn Maxwell to return from her USO tour with Bing Crosby and Bob Hope, and it looks like this year was the year! We even had our picture taken together, a moment I have been waiting millions of years for!"

"Well come to think of it, maybe it was only 44 years, some time not too long ago. It was some time between now, and the last time that big meteor hit .... but it has been a very long time. I was going to bring her some marigolds, but I ate them before she arrived, just as I did before. I eat when I'm anxious, you know," swooned the lovestruck plate lizard.

"I would have taken her to dinner at the Four Seasons Courtyard, but I ate it all on my birthday. Sigh. I was so smitten I plain forgot to ask her how Bob and Bing are doing, and even Jack Benny I haven't seen many of my old friends in so long. Not Dean Martin, or Frank Sinatra either. Being an entertainer sure is busy work, they have no time to visit anymore. It is all for a good cause though so I don't mean to complain, after all, I hear them on the radio and see them on TV ALL the time. I have seen Marilyn Maxwell, though, and it has really helped make this summer a very special one."

"Another year has passed, and I am now celebrating my 140 million and 10th birthday," said Stegosaurus. "Where has all the time gone? It seems like only yesterday that my mother found me while she was eating a cabbage patch, and I just came out of my shell."

"I had a very nice time last Wednesday June 1st. I was given a cake, and a special birthday button, and then I went to out to eat at a fine tavern called The Four Seasons Courtyard. I enjoyed it so much I had to apologize to the management. I think they'll be closed now until everything grows back in the spring next year. It was so delicious I just couldn't help myself!"

"How can I manage to be so serene after these many millions of years you ask? The answer is simple, friends. Simple. I watch the sky for meteors with vigilance, but other than that I let nothing stress me. I stomp forthrightly everywhere I go, because fossil fuel is murder so I get lots and lots of exercise. I am a vegetarian, and we vegetarians are very mild mannered and easy going. The thing I use my cool spiky tail for is mostly plowing in my garden; I know how to defend myself if I have to, but I don't instigate many fights, and avoid any that do come up if I can. I am a peaceful creature that hopes to live by example. I wish everyone reading this the best, and hope you will join me on my many adventures this summer!"



My birthday cake.

"I have been having cakes on my birthday since cakes were invented," observed Stegosaurus.

My birthday button.

"When you turn 140 million and 10 I hope someone gives you a shiny button as nice as this one," said Stegosaurus.

Enjoying the cuisine at The Four Seasons Courtyard.

"This was a fine tavern. I hope they don't mind my voracious appetite; I'd like to return there again," said Stegosaurus.

"Kentrosaurus and I enjoyed our visit to Oxford and the graduation of Lexovissaurus' wife Loricatosaurus. She has worked hard and deserves all of the emoluments that come her way," said Stegosaurus. "After returning Kentrosaurus to his native land, Nigeria, I floated forthrightly on my raft to the land of New Zealand, in order to commence my birdwatching vacation with the Moa Birds. They are really nice fellows to put up with my watching them all the time. New Zealand is also a very beautiful country. Having arrived there I stomped with haste to the Uplands, and before I came upon a single Moa, there I saw my good friend Western Black Rhino."

"What an unexpected surprise!" Stegosaurus exclaimed. "What brings you to New Zealand?"

"Friend Stegosaurus! I did not expect to see you just now, but I am overjoyed to find you here. The answer is simple. I am here on your recommendation. I had heard you tell of how wonderfully beautiful New Zealand is, and how amiable the Moa Birds, and I decided I had to see for myself just what you love about this land."

"I am happy to see you out and about," said Stegosaurus. "I know adjusting to being extinct has been hard for you."

"Yes, it was," said Western Black Rhino. It is. It has only been three years, after all. But I took the advice many gave me at my funeral and finally got out of Africa to see the rest of the world."

"I just came from Nigeria because I was returning Kentrosaurus to his native land. He and I visited cousin Wuerhosaurus in China and Tibet, and we went from there to England, where we were present when Lexovissaurus' wife Loricatosaurus graduated with her degree in Paleontology."

"Please send her my regards," said Western Black Rhino.

"Surely I will," promised Stegosaurus. "If I had known you were coming here, we could have floated forthrightly on the raft together."

"That would have been pleasant," rejoined Western Black Rhino. "I have been on vacation here for several weeks; you were still in China at the time I arrived. " Then, observing an Upland Moa climbing up over the hill, Western Black Rhino exclaimed, "Look, there arrives a Moa Bird now!"

"Hail, Moa! Well met, friend!" said Stegosaurus.

"AH!" exclaimed Moa. "You startled me! You both ....!!"

"Apologies at once," said Stegosaurus.

"And from me as well," said Western Black Rhino.

"Do you mind if we watch you today?" asked Stegosaurus.

"Not at all, just please be quiet. My friends and I like to graze in peace."

"Are you by yourself?" asked Western Black Rhino.

"At the present; but there are a few more of us coming anon ... be patient and quiet and we will let you watch us."

"So, Moa, how have things been since you returned from working with my Disaster Relief Agency?" asked Stegosaurus.
"Very fine, friend Stegosaurus," said Moa. "Thank you for asking. Life runs pretty slow and pleasant here in New Zealand. We're going to clear this hill up here til the evening, and then spend some time grazing in the canopy forest below. It is a pretty nice life. "

"I'm pretty pleased with my own, as I reflect on turning 140 million and 10 very soon," agreed Stegosaurus. "You remember my new friend Western Black Rhino, don't you?"
"Yes," said Moa, "Pleased to see you again, Western Black Rhino, I hope you have been doing well."
"Thank you," said Western Black Rhino, "Your land of New Zealand is very beautiful."

"Then, we were silent for a very long time," said Stegosaurus. "The other Moas arrived, and it was very relaxing for all of us. We were so taken with the scene that we all took to grazing. I am sure the scene was quite pastoral and bucolic. "

"Western Black Rhino and I spent a good three weeks in the lovely country of New Zealand," said Stegosaurus. "It was so nice to see him get out and about ... it was the first time I had seen him happy since his extinction. Adjustment to change is such a difficult thing. We also spent some time watching the Haast's Eagles, since we didn't want them to become envious or feel any less important. They are really quite beautiful, but I am very uncomfortable with the idea that they eat my friends from time to time."

"In early June we will return each to our own lands; after an extended trip to several places in the last few months it will be nice to return home to my native land of Colorado. I left my business ventures in the capable claws of my accountant Corythosaurus, but being a hands on entrepreneur, it is always good to be at the helm of your own ventures whenever possible."

Bonjour, Je m’appelle Lexovissaurus!

"Aujourd’hui, le 10 Mai, sera un jour que l’on ce rappellera, un jour d’importance monumental. Pourquoi ? Je suis en visite en Angleterre. Vous vous demandez pourquoi je veux quitter la France, mon pays natal, la plus cultivée de tous les pays? L’Angleterre et la France non pas toujours eu de bonnes relations et surtout lorsque vous êtes un dinosaure avec une mémoire de million d’années; vous n’obligiez jamais rien. Je suis ici parce que mon épouse est à Oxford, et tout son travail acharné a été récompensé et elle a gradué d’Oxford, avec un degré en Paléontologie. Mes cousins Kentrosaurus et Stégosaures sont venus célébrer avec nous; ils vont arriver en Angleterre après avoir retourné d’une visite en Chine. Wuerhosaurus va venir aussi, mais il voyage par sa méthode traditionnelle de pas lents, et peut-être il va être en retard. Nous allons lui pardonner; c’est après tout, à la mode d’être en retard."

"Que Dieu soit loué, nous sommes arrivés en temps, " exprima Kentrosaurus. "Stégosaures et moi, nous nous sommes bien amusés en Chine et à Tibet avec notre cousin Wuerhosaurus, mais nous avions hâte d’aller sur notre radeau et flotter directement en Angleterre pour voir ton épouse accepter son mérite d’émoluments."

"Elle a vraiment beaucoup travaillé," exprima Stégosaures. " C’est certainement bien désiré, et passionnant pour nous tous. Personne n’ai plus intelligente ou plus qualifié que Loricatosaurus."

"Je suis très fier." exprima Lexovissaurus. La plupart des dinosaures sont comme moi; satisfait de manger des plantes, ou l’un et l’autre, et ne pense jamais ce que le lendemain apportera, d’où nous venons ou où nous allons être dans le future. Nous laissons la découverte de ceci aux mammifères. Nous ne nous donnons pas notre nom nous même ! Mais ma jolie épouse, Loricatosaurus est excessivement curieuse et elle est une personne pleine d’initiative. Elle m’a dit plusieurs fois, depuis la première fois quelle a piétiné vers Oxford, " Pourquoi attendre pour un mammifère de faire ce que l’on peut faire nous même?"'

"Est-ce que c’est vrai," demanda Kentrosaurus, quelle a trouvé et lu le livre insaisissable du Thesaurus? C’est une sagesse légendaire."

" Elle est très timide à propos de ceci, et ne le dira pas," a exprimé Lexovissaurus. Mais j’ai mes soupçons que ceci est la vérité."

"Que Dieu soit loué, loué comme une source de toutes nos bénédictions," répondit Kentrosaurus.

"Elle est très humble," exprima Stégosaures. Aussi intelligente que mon père O.C. Marsh, " Je pense quelle est la plus intelligente dinosaure de tous les temps."

"Vous êtes très gentil," exprima Lexovissaurus. "Merci. C’est une bonne observation et sur le point. Vous pouvez avoir raison."

"J’imagine que vous avez des fabuleux plans de voyage dans votre future," exprima Kentrosaurus.

"Oui," exprima Lexovissaurus. "Certainement. Loricatosaurus a hâte de s’y mettre. Mais premièrement nous allons retournés en France et passer du temps chez-nous; l’importance de l’étude et l’éducation a mis des restreints sur notre temps ensemble chez-nous dans notre caverne."

"Quels sont les endroits que vous voulez allez ?" demanda Stégosaures.

"Le pays où vous venez d’aller, la Chine, est haut sur notre liste, et aussi le pays natal de Kentrosaurus, Nigeria." exprima Lexovissaurus. "Mais je pense que notre premier arrêt, après toutes les célébrations soit terminées, et là le travail commencera, en Portugal. Vous vous rappelez quelque uns de nos vertébrés, notre cousin Stégosaures a été découvert en 2009."

"Oui, des vertébrés et des sexy plaques. C’est pourquoi j’ai ouvert un École de Dance là."

"Nous allons commencer des recherches dans toutes les places, dans notre propre pays premièrement; parce que c’est où nous avons été trouvé. C’est évident qu’il faut commencer avec ceci premièrement. La réponse à ses questions peut-être dans notre jardin."

" Ceci est une bonne raison," exprima Stégosaures. "C’est un moment excitant d’être en vie, et Kentrosaurus et moi donnons nos félicitations à ton épouse pour ses accomplissements."

"Maintenant allons piétinés à Oxford. L’heure de la graduation approche, et je suis plein de joie et de fierté ; c’est difficile de le contrôler." exprima Lexovissaurus. Nous avons attendu longtemps pour ce grand jour."

" One afternoon after Wuerhosaurus, Kentrosaurus and I had taught Chinese Square Dancing all day we found a group of mammals with a Chinese instrument called the Bolang-Gu, and taught them how to play 'Life Goes To A Party' on it," said Stegosaurus. "Then, we danced the lindy hop all evening. A great time was had by all."

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Stegosaurus decided that he was going to spend some time in China visiting his cousin Wuerhosaurus. When Kentrosaurus found out about the trip, he asked to come as well, since he had never been to China. Stegosaurus agreed to pick him up along the way, so he got on his raft and floated forthrightly to Johannesburg, South Africa to meet Kentrosaurus. When Stegosaurus arrived, Kentrosaurus said,
"Hail, good cousin! I am glad you are here and look forward to spending time with you and Wuerhosaurus in the Country of China! May God bless and protect us on our journey! Have you heard if Lexovissaurus and his lovely wife Loricatosaurus are coming?"

"I asked, " said Stegosaurus, "... and the answer was 'No.' This spring is Loricatosaurus' last semester at Oxford, and since she is studying hard she does not have time for travel. Lexovissaurus is reluctant to leave for China ... he said he'd rather visit England since his wife is there and he'd like to see her graduate. He said he would be likely to make it to China some year when his wife is there digging around looking for herself somewhere."
"I am sorry to hear that they will not be with us, I was looking forward to seeing them," said Kentrosaurus. "Let's get started on our journey. I have checked with Woolly Mammoth, and he knows of and has approved my time off at the Church."
"Very well, " said Stegosaurus. "We do indeed have a long way to go." And thus, the journey began. But they hadn't floated very far at all, when on the Niger River Delta specifically the Escravos River they saw their sauropod friend Nigersaurus.
"Hail, Nigersaurus!" exclaimed Stegosaurus. "I hope you are doing well!"
"I am, friend Stegosaurus, Kentrosaurus. I see you are floating on your raft; where do you travel? Stegosaurids are generally not seafaring types .... it must be important for you to get on a raft."
"We are headed to China to visit cousin Wuerhosaurus!!" said Kentrosaurus. "God be praised for protecting us on our long journey to the Orient!"
"Would you like to come with us, Nigersaurus?" asked Stegosaurus. "You are certainly more than welcome to come along."
"Thank you for the offer, but no. The sun is out and I'm really of a mind to stay in this Lazy River in the noonday sun, the Lazy, lazy River where I can linger in the shade of a kind old tree, and then later when I'm hungry eat the top off of it."*
"Very well! Best of the day to you, Nigersaurus! Enjoy your shade, your trees, and your body of water!" said Stegosaurus.
"I will see you when I return," said Kentrosaurus. "God be with you."

Stegosaurus and Kentrosaurus floated forthrightly on the water for a very long time afterward; after many days travel they arrived at Macau, China, the Western side of the Pearl River Delta.
"Here is China," observed Stegosaurus.
"The Lord Jesus Christ be praised; we have safely arrived!" Exclaimed Kentrosaurus with joy. Then, with a pause, "It looks much like any other populated city, but that the boats are slower."
"There's a lot more to it than that," assured Stegosaurus.
"Let us go at once to find Wuerhosaurus," said Kentrosaurus. "I am sure he will be willing to act as our tour guide."
"He is supposed to meet us here in Macau," said Stegosaurus.
"I am sure he will arrive anon," said Kentrosaurus. "In the meantime, look at these beautiful flowers I've just noticed on the side of the road. I'm famished after such a long journey; let us dine."
"That is the Nelumbo nucifera; you are right it has been along journey and we are both very hungry and tired as well, but we cannot eat this flower because..." Stegosaurus was then interrupted.
"That's right! You must not eat that flower!" some one exclaimed. The two hungry Stegosaurids looked up to see their cousin Wuerhosaurus.
"The Nelumbo nucifera is the official flower of the city of Macau. It is also the official State flower of the countries of India and Vietnam. It would be incredibly disrespectful to eat it," said Wuerhosaurus.
"I am sorry to greet you with such a stern warning, but it was important, I assure you. Welcome, cousins! It is so nice to see you both. I am pleased to see you have arrived safely. Come with me. I will give you something that you can eat with out offending the majority of the populace. You must be very hungry indeed after such a long journey."
"Cousin Wuerhosaurus! I am so glad to see you!" said Kentrosaurus.
"No offense taken." assured Stegosaurus. "You are after all native to this land, and know the local customs. Also, you are our guide and we will defer to you on matters of proper protocol."
"Come with me, " said Wuerhosaurus. "Visit my cave, and I will make you both a nice dinner. Yes, Kentrosaurus, you may say grace beforehand."
"Thank you, cousin," said Kentrosaurus.

So it was that the three Stegosaurids stomped to a nearby cave, where a hearty meal was prepared by Wuerhosaurus. "Enjoy," encouraged Wuerhosaurus. "This is not my home cave," said Wuerhosaurus. "Later we shall all travel by slow boat for my home in Tibet. I left my native land of Xinjiang years ago because the climate and temperament of the natives in Tibet agreed with me. No one bothers me coming or going into or out of Tibet; the problems that the mammals have created for themselves, the politics of the region do not affect me; I may come and go as I please."
"How very pleasant," observed Stegosaurus.
"Wuerhosaurus prepared a hearty vegetarian meal for his cousins which consisted of the popular vegetarian dish "Buddah's Delight"; a side dish of almond cake and ginger milk. The Buddah's Delight dish consisted of these main ingredients: Bamboo Shoots, Black Mushrooms, Water Chestnuts, Fried Tofu, Bok Choi, Snow Peas, Carrots, Wood ear, Wheat gluten, Peanuts, Napa Cabbage, Bracken fern tips, and Cauliflower. The Ginkgo nuts were not used, out of respect for Stegosaurus' reverence for that tree, but replaced with Chinese celery. When the food was presented, with permission Kentrosaurus began his prayer thus:

"Dear Lord Jesus, we thank you for this food which we are about to receive, which is but one of the blessings you have given us this fine day. Stegosaurus and I are grateful for the friendship and camaraderie of our cousin Wuerhosaurus who is a gracious host. We pray you bless this cave and its inhabitant, all of his land, and all of his life, and we are grateful for this day as any day on this wonderful world you have made and given us, upon which we have lived for millions of years. Amen, Amen, Amen."
"Thank you, Kentrosaurus," said Wuerhosaurus. "Now I will share with you the prayer that we Buddists pray before dinner."
With that, Wuerhosuarus chanted "Om, Ah, Hum" three times, took a deep breath, and then he said:

"Guru is Buddha, Guru is Dharma,
Guru is Sangha also.
Guru is the originator of all (goodness and happiness).
To all Gurus, I make this offering.

You, whose body was formed by a million perfect virtues,
Whose speech fulfils the hopes of all beings,
Whose mind perceives all that is to be known,
To the prince of the Shakyas I make this offering.

The supreme teacher, the precious Buddha,
The supreme practice, the holy precious Dharma,
The supreme guide, the precious Sangha,
To all of the objects of refuge, I make this offering.

May we and those around us, in all future lives,
Never be separated from the Three Jewels,
Continuously make offerings to the Three Jewels,
And receive the inspiration of the Three Jewels.

Om, Ah, Hum."

After which, the three Stegosaurids ate happily; and then after dinner Wuerhosaurus performed a short ceremony. Having gathered some water in a bowl, he said: "Cousins, if you'd like, please visualize with me, the deity Yeshe Karda above, flowing nectar from his body into this bowl of water." and then he recited the heart mantra of Yeshe Karda, "OM JNANA AVALOKITE SAMANTA PARANA RAMI BAWA SAMAYA MAHA MANI DURU DURU HRIH DAYA JALANI SOHA!" Then, Wuerhosaurus discarded the water in the bowl as an offering, gathered more water, and repeated the mantra seven times. Then, he recited the following prayer:

“This ocean of water appears as nectar to all the pretas that the omniscient mind sees. All the pretas see it as an ocean of milk, they drink it and are fully satisfied. It liberates them from all sufferings, including the specific sufferings of the pretas, causes of delusion, karma, and defilements. These are all purified and they actualize the whole path to enlightenment.”

"This is divine food," Wuerhosaurus continued; all who drink it, all who live in it are blessed and purified to achieve a higher rebirth. Each preta who receives this word will be blessed, and his or her hunger shall be fully satisfied; their rebirth shall be on a higher plane, their advancement secured."

"Excuse me for asking," said Stegosaurus, but what is a preta?"

"I will gladly explain to you the knowledge you seek," said Wuerhosaurus. "The pretas are the deceased; they are supernatural beings that cannot be seen on this plane except in certain cases where one's mental state is removed from this reality. They are, therefore for the most part invisible to us, but they suffer greatly the perils of metaphysical, or spiritual starvation. They are, without this blessing prevented from achieving knowledge of and advancement to the higher planes of existence."

"So, this is an effort to help them along their spiritual journey?" asked Kentrosaurus.

"Yes, cousin. Yes, it is." said Wuerhosaurus. Then he said, "Come, cousins. Let us enjoy the New Year festival. I have knowledge that a public parade is about to begin, and we can all take part in it. I am so glad you are come here to celebrate with me. February 8th marked the Chinese year of the Monkey, which, by our lunar calendar is the year 4714. Let us go out and mingle among the mammals; we'll fit right in at the Dragon festival I believe."

The three Stegosaurids stomped out of the cave where they had their repast til they arrived again at the city of Mancau. As night fell and the moon appeared in view, they then saw a parade of mammals coming anon down the street who were celebrating the festival of the Dragon, and as Wuerhosaurus predicted they fit right in. Accompanied by a fireworks display, they paraded down the street with some of the Macanese climbing up on their backs. A group of Macanese mammals danced as they carried the traditional Dragon made of paper and silk through the streets, even beside the Stegosaurids. It was very loud, but colourful, and everyone involved enjoyed themselves immensely.

The very next morning all three Stegosaurids got into Wuerhosaurus' slow boat and floated slowly, yet forthrightly to the land of Tibet, in order to visit Wuerhosarurus' adopted homeland. "Welcome to the largest port in all of Tibet," said Wuerhosaurus. "This is known as the land of Zham. From here the country exports goods to Nepal in India. I moved here because the climate is subtropical. I'm sure we all agree this situation is ideal." Stegosaurus and Kentrosaurus nodded.
When the boat reached land, the three Stegosaurids gladly exited the boat and then stomped up a fair bit of rocky hill side until they reached a small, unassuming cave roughly a mile up from the seashore.

"Welcome to my humble abode, cousins!" said Wuerhosaurus. "It isn't much, but I like it. I would be pleased if you'd accept some butter tea, which is a traditional drink of hospitality here in Tibet.

"Of course, we'd be honored," said Kentrosaurus, speaking for his cousin ... which Stegosaurus didn't object to, because it was polite, and besides that he was thirsty after the long, slow journey.
"I've been working on brewing this tea for the last half day," said Wuerhosaurus. "It should be ready about now, since I started this morning. After it was done steeping, I added some salt, strained it, added the butter, and churned it to the proper consistency. Then it was transferred to this copper pot here, and kept warm over coals."

"How long has this been the tradition in your country?" asked Kentrosaurus.

"Between the 10th and 13th centuries, which is a long time for mammals," observed Wuerhosaurus.
"I see some Juniperus, of the family Cupressaceae," observed Stegosaurus. "Do you mind if I eat some of it?"
"You may have some," said Wuerhosaurus. "..... but this wood has been gathered here in order that it be burned to please the God of the house. The God of the house is pho-lha, and he protects this abode." Thus, shortly the room was shortly filled with the pleasant smell of burning wood, and all three decided to enjoy a meal of Juniper with their butter tea as they relaxed and enjoyed the company of each other.


* lyrics to "( up a ) Lazy River" by Sidney Arodin and Hoagy Carmichael, 1930.

Stegosaurus looked at his reflection when he woke up in the morning and realized that he hadn't evolved lately. So he went to the river and consulted his good friend Eusthenopteron for advice.

"Eusthenopteron," said he, "I wish I knew the secret to evolving. It seems like forever since there has been any change. I sure would like to start growing feathers like some of the smaller theropods have, but though I have been patient, I haven't grown a single feather. Still nothing but scales, day in and day out. What does it take? I am almost 140 million and 10! When is it going to start happening for me? What did you do to start evolving?"

"There is no quick answer, friend Stegosaurus," said Eusthenopteron. "It takes time, and evolution runs on its own schedule. First I had to evolve legs. Then, I had to evolve lungs. Then, I had to crawl out of the water and stomp uphill! Both ways! Both ways, mind you! It wasn't easy!"

"I've been eating Austrian pines lately and it occurred to me the other day how savings is tied to the natural interest rate, but ... that won't help me grow feathers," complained the frustrated Plate Lizard. "I would give anything to have feathers, or to evolve in some way like other dinosaurs have lately."
"There are some who would consider that knowledge a form of evolution," observed Eusthenopteron sympathetically. "My suggestion to you is that you consult Science Daily for the latest on an evolution schedule. Good luck!"

Stegosaurus went home and checked Science Daily on the internet, but found no clear answers.

"I might consult the legendary Thesaurus," said Stegosaurus to himself, "But he is just as elusive as the timetable of evolving."

Then, suddenly it occurred to the pensive Plate Lizard: "I know who I can consult for advice! I will go to the Dinosaur Retirement Home and consult Nyasasaurus and Dimetrodon! They are sure to know the answers to my questions as they have been around a lot longer than I have."

So Stegosaurus stomped forthrightly to visit his elderly friends. When they came into sight he declared, "Hail, friends Nyasassaurus and Dimetrodon! How fare ye this fine, day?"

"Excellent well, Stegosaurus! The sun is shining, my retirement cave is cozy, I am well fed, and there isn't a meteor in the sky!" rejoined Dimetrodon.


"What brings you to visit us today? We are so pleased to see that you have paid us a visit. Please stay for a while," encouraged Nyasassaurus.

"I am come for advice," said Stegosaurus. "I woke up this morning frustrated because I have not evolved lately and would really like some advice from those older than me on how begin this process. I have bird hips, but no feathers. Some theropods have feathers, but not me; not yet. I have been so patient, and yet day in and day out no change.... is there anything you can advise me to do? I have already stomped to the river and spoken to Eusthenopteron; he suggested I check the internet, but I have found no clear answers there."

"My heart goes out to you, friend Stegosaurus," said Dimetrodon ... "And I so wish to help you as you have been such a benefactor to me, getting me a nice cave at the Dinosaur retirement home, and a pension with the Dinosaur and Mythical Creature screen actor's guild Local 14065. The only thing I can offer you in a way of advice, even with all my elder years, is simply patience."

"Keep your spirits up, Stegosaurus. A lot of your friends feel your pain; you are not alone but evolution has a mind of its own and works in slow and mysterious ways. No one, no matter how old they are can say with any certainty when evolving starts. Evolving can't be marked in a calendar; its progress may be incremental and not as fast and obvious as we'd all like, but I can guarantee you it is sure. We can all look forward to a glorious day when the great majority of us turn into birds and fly away."

"Perhaps," interjected Nyasasaurus, in an effort to be helpful, "You can pause to meditate under your old friend, the Ginkgo biloba, of the family Ginkgoaceae; the ancient tree may give you some insight."

"You are right; I have a lot of respect for the Ginkgo biloba, as it is older than I am. My cousin Wuerhosaurus has taught me something of this meditation. Perhaps I should try it. Peace of mind is a valuable thing, and it can be cultivated. Perhaps if I clear my mind, the answer will become obvious .... and that will be a glorious day indeed. Thank you both so much for your advice."

"No trouble at all very glad to help," said Nyasasaurus. "Come back and visit us any time!"

"Good luck!" said Dimetrodon.