"After my final performance as Count Drosselmeyer in the Nutcracker at Radio City Music Hall, I met my college class in New York City, and as the Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency we assisted mammals still affected by Hurricane Sandy," said Stegosaurus.
"I was surprised to see Rhedosaurus and his wife Lady Rhedosaurus in town and welcomed their unexpected help," continued Stegosaurus. "Are you still assisting the mammals occupying Wall Street?"
"Yes, said Rhedosaurus. "We have a long term goal, and I've worked pretty hard to restore my reputation with the local police force. There was great success, until the day before yesterday when the policemen assaulted us without provocation and I ate six of them."
"I imagine that was a real setback," said Stegosaurus.
"It was, it was indeed. I don't really hold it against them; there's no sense in bearing a grudge. I wish I had been able to control my temper certainly, but hopefully when they see the good work I am doing with your Disaster Relief Agency, they'll forgive me for my natural tendencies," said Rhedosaurus.
"Good luck," said Stegosaurus. "It's hard to break an ingrained habit."
"Policemen sure are delicious," said Rhedosaurus.
"Following that exchange, The Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency, in conjunction with the Stegosaurus Construction Company and two Rhedosaurids in tow set off for the most distressed areas, and divided our time between Rockland and Westchester Counties. Gradually, things will return to normal, and it is a wonderful feeling to be part of such a positive effort, assisting those in need. Make sure to spend some time in your neighborhood, helping a cause that means something to you and benefits your fellow mammal. If you see a wrong, try to correct it by gathering like minded individuals united through voluntary association to solve the ills of your society. The beginning of the solution is only as far as your mirror. This may be the season of charity and giving, but you don't have to wait until December to express compassion, understanding and good will to each and all."
Monday, December 24, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
Sunday, December 9, 2012
"Hi, My Name is Stegosaurus Claus!"
"Here I am at my workshop in Brazil, preparing for my annual trip around the world delivering presents to the good little girls and boys of the world. It is a very busy time for me, of course, but this time of year there's one thing I take time to observe faithfully. Many mammals may not realize that I have been jewish for over 140 million years, so this is a very important time of season for me."
"There's a reason why I am the only Stegosaurus that wears hats; for 8 days of the season I put aside my traditional red and white hat for a yarmulke to observe Hanukkah; and although Christmas trees have certainly been declared kosher, they aren't as delicious fried, so to honor the ancient traditions, I eat fried Zucchini. It's off season, but still very delicious."
"My claws make it hard to use a Dreidel for any fun; but it hasn't dampened my enthusiasm for the holiday or the history of my religion. I light my chanukkiah very carefully and I reverently and enthusiastically speak the prayers which are proper for this miraculous time:
"Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha'olam, asher qiddeshanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu lehadliq ner shel Hanukkah."
"Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha'olam, she'asa nisim la'avoteinu ba'yamim ha'heim ba'z'man ha'ze."
"The blessings for the apples and honey:
Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam, bo're p'ri ha'etz."
"Y'hi ratzon mil'fanekha, Adonai Eloheinu velohei avoteinu, shet'hadesh aleinu shana tova um'tuka."
" For all the happiness that surrounds us, there is also immense strife in the world at this present time. I hope that you will, with me and in all sincerity wish for us and all the world joy, peace, blessings and prosperity in the upcoming year regardless of where your faith leads you. We are all brothers and sisters on this planet, and in 140 million years I have seen a lot. Don't forget to keep being good; I will know all and see all on Christmas Eve!"
"Here I am at my workshop in Brazil, preparing for my annual trip around the world delivering presents to the good little girls and boys of the world. It is a very busy time for me, of course, but this time of year there's one thing I take time to observe faithfully. Many mammals may not realize that I have been jewish for over 140 million years, so this is a very important time of season for me."
"There's a reason why I am the only Stegosaurus that wears hats; for 8 days of the season I put aside my traditional red and white hat for a yarmulke to observe Hanukkah; and although Christmas trees have certainly been declared kosher, they aren't as delicious fried, so to honor the ancient traditions, I eat fried Zucchini. It's off season, but still very delicious."
"My claws make it hard to use a Dreidel for any fun; but it hasn't dampened my enthusiasm for the holiday or the history of my religion. I light my chanukkiah very carefully and I reverently and enthusiastically speak the prayers which are proper for this miraculous time:
"Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha'olam, asher qiddeshanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu lehadliq ner shel Hanukkah."
"Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha'olam, she'asa nisim la'avoteinu ba'yamim ha'heim ba'z'man ha'ze."
"The blessings for the apples and honey:
Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam, bo're p'ri ha'etz."
"Y'hi ratzon mil'fanekha, Adonai Eloheinu velohei avoteinu, shet'hadesh aleinu shana tova um'tuka."
" For all the happiness that surrounds us, there is also immense strife in the world at this present time. I hope that you will, with me and in all sincerity wish for us and all the world joy, peace, blessings and prosperity in the upcoming year regardless of where your faith leads you. We are all brothers and sisters on this planet, and in 140 million years I have seen a lot. Don't forget to keep being good; I will know all and see all on Christmas Eve!"
Monday, November 19, 2012
"I'm back in college again, and this semester my class and I have all stomped forthrightly to Montana, said Stegosaurus. "Our assignment is to identify and consume Tsuga mertensiana, which have been absolutely delicious, let me tell you. It must be the mountain air that contributes to their exceptional, full bodied flavor. Delicious!"
"Well now once class was over for the day I decided I should take a short stomp to visit my friend Ankylosaurus, who lives nearby. I found him at home, dining on a nice meal of Juniperus horizontalis."
"Stegosaurus!" he exclaimed. How nice to see you! I have been well...exceedingly so. What brings you to Montana?"
"My class is in town; you know I'm in college working on a Doctorate in tree disease. I just thought I'd stomp by and see how you have been," replied Stegosaurus.
"I have a new venture," explained the loquacious fuzed lizard. I have started a support group for partially discovered dinosaurs. Now I ... well, haven't I been rude? Please come and join my meal; there's plenty to go around. Plenty of Juniperus horizontalis. " They'll really hit the spot; Yes, that's it."
"Thank you," said Stegosaurus. "Now you were talking about starting a support group?"
"Yes, I have," confirmed Ankylosaurus. "For partially discovered Dinosaurus. It all started back when Brachiosaurus' body temperature was determined by science. I realized that not only was he fully discovered, his body temperature was also known! It made me feel bad, being only partially discovered myself, and I started to get jealous. I regretted that, and wanted to redirect this energy in a positive way, so I am starting this support group for partially discovered dinosaurs."
"That is a wonderful idea!" Exclaimed Stegosaurus. "You know my cousin in France, Lexovissaurus and his wife are both only partially discovered. Maybe they'd be interested in joining your group."
"I made an inquiry to Loricatosaurus," said Ankylosaurus. "After apologizing for her limited skill in English, she told me, 'Thank you very much for the .... how do you say it, .... ah, invitation and consideration. However, my husband is too proud and refuses to admit he should go ... though I admit he could, ah ... the word, what is the word... benefit .... from your group. For myself, I am now college educated and not so concerned about being partially found. I am confident that if I keep ....er, ... digging around I will find me eventually. I've got to .. ah... be here somewhere.'
"Last week we were joined by Trachodon and most notably Captialsaurus of the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus," continued Ankylosaurus. "Capitalsaurus came at the urging of Congresssaurus Triceratops; Congressaurus Triceratops told him: 'PLEASE go. You need to go. You're boring everyone to extinction with your long winded speeches on the House Floor about the glorious day when you will be completely discovered!'
"I'm surprised Congresssaurus Triceratops said that," remarked Stegosaurus.
"Well," rejoined Ankylosaurus, "Capitalsaurus was hurt at first, even though Congressaurus Triceratops meant no ill, and the admonishment was gentle. He told me that he thought, 'Congresssaurus Triceratops doesn't know .... doesn't have a clue how it really feels to be identified only by part of a single vertebra!'
"Regardless of his initial feelings, Capitalsaurus came to my group meeting and later remarked he felt better for having shown up."
"That's really nice," said Stegosaurus. "You say Trachodon was there also?"
"Yes, yes he was," said Ankylosaurus. "What a nice fellow he is. I had a conversation with him personally after the therapy session. I will relate it to you."
********************
"I'm glad you could make it to the meeting,Trachodon. I hope you've made some friends," said Ankylosaurus.
"Yes, I have met some nice dinosaurs that are also only partially discovered, and I feel a lot better after only one session," said Trachodon. "Sometimes life can really get you down when you're only identified by a handful of teeth."
"I know, I know," said Ankylosaurus. "I started this group because I myself am only partially discovered and I wanted to not feel jealous of my fellow dinosaurs who are fully discovered. My notion was to redirect any jealous feelings into a productive and positive direction. This group will be helpful to other partially discovered dinosaurs like yourself. Sure, only your teeth are discovered, but at least you're still known to be in the Hadrosaur family."
"That's right!" said Trachodon. "It could always be worse. I could be a mammal."
"That's it, that's the way to look at it!" said Ankylosaurus. "Keep your chin up!"
"I sure will, if the scientists ever find it!" declared Trachodon proudly.
*****************
"This is definitely a wonderful public service," said Stegosaurus.
"Thank you. At the meeting next week we're being joined by Spinosaurus, who remembers very well the years when he himself was only partially discovered. His speech will be titled, "Fear not, it does get better."
"That sounds really encouraging," said Steogosaurus. "You are doing such a wonderful thing and I commend you for it. I myself have met Spinosaurus at my cousin's wedding; he's a meat eater! I hope he does not eat you and your group entire!"
"Me too," said Ankylosaurus. "It's a gamble, but one I am willing to take. I also can't help but observe that Stegosaurids are not the only ones with really cool defensive tail armaments. If there's any trouble I am confident we'll be able to put a quick end to it. Say, thank you friend Stegosaurus for stopping by. It has been great to see you."
"Thank you; you too," said Stegosaurus. "Keep up the great work!"
"Well now once class was over for the day I decided I should take a short stomp to visit my friend Ankylosaurus, who lives nearby. I found him at home, dining on a nice meal of Juniperus horizontalis."
"Stegosaurus!" he exclaimed. How nice to see you! I have been well...exceedingly so. What brings you to Montana?"
"My class is in town; you know I'm in college working on a Doctorate in tree disease. I just thought I'd stomp by and see how you have been," replied Stegosaurus.
"I have a new venture," explained the loquacious fuzed lizard. I have started a support group for partially discovered dinosaurs. Now I ... well, haven't I been rude? Please come and join my meal; there's plenty to go around. Plenty of Juniperus horizontalis. " They'll really hit the spot; Yes, that's it."
"Thank you," said Stegosaurus. "Now you were talking about starting a support group?"
"Yes, I have," confirmed Ankylosaurus. "For partially discovered Dinosaurus. It all started back when Brachiosaurus' body temperature was determined by science. I realized that not only was he fully discovered, his body temperature was also known! It made me feel bad, being only partially discovered myself, and I started to get jealous. I regretted that, and wanted to redirect this energy in a positive way, so I am starting this support group for partially discovered dinosaurs."
"That is a wonderful idea!" Exclaimed Stegosaurus. "You know my cousin in France, Lexovissaurus and his wife are both only partially discovered. Maybe they'd be interested in joining your group."
"I made an inquiry to Loricatosaurus," said Ankylosaurus. "After apologizing for her limited skill in English, she told me, 'Thank you very much for the .... how do you say it, .... ah, invitation and consideration. However, my husband is too proud and refuses to admit he should go ... though I admit he could, ah ... the word, what is the word... benefit .... from your group. For myself, I am now college educated and not so concerned about being partially found. I am confident that if I keep ....er, ... digging around I will find me eventually. I've got to .. ah... be here somewhere.'
"Last week we were joined by Trachodon and most notably Captialsaurus of the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus," continued Ankylosaurus. "Capitalsaurus came at the urging of Congresssaurus Triceratops; Congressaurus Triceratops told him: 'PLEASE go. You need to go. You're boring everyone to extinction with your long winded speeches on the House Floor about the glorious day when you will be completely discovered!'
"I'm surprised Congresssaurus Triceratops said that," remarked Stegosaurus.
"Well," rejoined Ankylosaurus, "Capitalsaurus was hurt at first, even though Congressaurus Triceratops meant no ill, and the admonishment was gentle. He told me that he thought, 'Congresssaurus Triceratops doesn't know .... doesn't have a clue how it really feels to be identified only by part of a single vertebra!'
"Regardless of his initial feelings, Capitalsaurus came to my group meeting and later remarked he felt better for having shown up."
"That's really nice," said Stegosaurus. "You say Trachodon was there also?"
"Yes, yes he was," said Ankylosaurus. "What a nice fellow he is. I had a conversation with him personally after the therapy session. I will relate it to you."
********************
"I'm glad you could make it to the meeting,Trachodon. I hope you've made some friends," said Ankylosaurus.
"Yes, I have met some nice dinosaurs that are also only partially discovered, and I feel a lot better after only one session," said Trachodon. "Sometimes life can really get you down when you're only identified by a handful of teeth."
"I know, I know," said Ankylosaurus. "I started this group because I myself am only partially discovered and I wanted to not feel jealous of my fellow dinosaurs who are fully discovered. My notion was to redirect any jealous feelings into a productive and positive direction. This group will be helpful to other partially discovered dinosaurs like yourself. Sure, only your teeth are discovered, but at least you're still known to be in the Hadrosaur family."
"That's right!" said Trachodon. "It could always be worse. I could be a mammal."
"That's it, that's the way to look at it!" said Ankylosaurus. "Keep your chin up!"
"I sure will, if the scientists ever find it!" declared Trachodon proudly.
*****************
"This is definitely a wonderful public service," said Stegosaurus.
"Thank you. At the meeting next week we're being joined by Spinosaurus, who remembers very well the years when he himself was only partially discovered. His speech will be titled, "Fear not, it does get better."
"That sounds really encouraging," said Steogosaurus. "You are doing such a wonderful thing and I commend you for it. I myself have met Spinosaurus at my cousin's wedding; he's a meat eater! I hope he does not eat you and your group entire!"
"Me too," said Ankylosaurus. "It's a gamble, but one I am willing to take. I also can't help but observe that Stegosaurids are not the only ones with really cool defensive tail armaments. If there's any trouble I am confident we'll be able to put a quick end to it. Say, thank you friend Stegosaurus for stopping by. It has been great to see you."
"Thank you; you too," said Stegosaurus. "Keep up the great work!"
Monday, November 12, 2012
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Bonjour je m’appelle Loricatosaurus!
Lors d’une pause durant mon semestre au collège à Oxford, je suis retourné chez-moi pour voir mon époux Lexovissaurus. Il avait piétiné au Mexique et puis aux États-Unis pour un peu de temps avant de retourner en France. Durant que j’étais parti, il a gardé notre caverne en donne ordre ! J’étais très occupé dans mes études à propos de l’extinction, ceci peu être très épuisant ! J’ai le meilleur époux au monde!
Nous avons célébré mon retour en allant à l’Opéra-Théâtre de Metz Métropole pour voir Daniel François Auber dans La Muette de Portici. La plupart du temps c’était amusant, car c’était un opéra comique et nous voulions rire. Mais l’amusement est devenu triste à la fin et par le sort de l’héroïne Fenella, qui a sauté dans un puits de lava et est disparue.
Moi et Lexovissaurus nous avons pleuré à la fin de l’opéra. Quand nous sommes retournés chez-nous une surprise nous attendait ! Kentrosaurus avait piétiné sans cesse à travers Nigeria et nous étions heureux de le revoir. Il nous a dit qu’il était venu en ville parce que le Wooly Mammoth allait donner un sermon à Paris durant le weekend, et pendant qu’il était en ville il voulait nous rendre visite.
Après peu de temps nous avons constaté que Kentrosaurus avait changé son point de vue depuis notre dernière visite.
"Combien de Wooly Mammoth sermons as-tu assisté?" demanda mon époux.
"Beaucoup ! Je me rappelle pas combien." répond Kentrosaurus. "Il est un inspiration pour moi! J’ai appris beaucoup ! J’espère que vous allez venir avec moi demain pour écouter son sermon."
Lexovissaurus et moi-même nous nous sommes excusés pour aller chercher quelque chose à manger pour notre invité. Nous sommes retournés avec un Hedera Helix et du fromage, Kentrosaurus nous a dit qu’il avait renoncé à des concepts ; tell que l’évolution et avait adopté le créationnisme sans réserve.
De plus il nous a fait une demande. Il avait appris que le mammifère qui s’occupe du Musée de Kentucky, aux États-Unis avait fait une chute et qu’Adam Allosaurus avait affilé ses dents avec des noix de coco. Il voulait savoir si nous pouvions l’aider à trouver des noix de coco pour donner à Allosaurus ; nous essayions de ne pas rire, mais ceci était plus amusant que Daniel Auber. Comme un geste de paix, il croyait que Allosaurus penserait au passé et qu’il essaierait les noix de coco : "J’essai de sauvé son esprit!" a déclara Kentrosaurus. "Peut-être que je peux mettre fin à la rivalité entre lui et mon cousin Stegosaurus et sauvegarder sa vie et celle de mon cousin!"
"Je vais m’excusé pour aller préparer un plat qui ira bien avec l’Hedera Helix, j’espère que tu seras capable de lui faire comprendre du sens," mon époux me dit et j’étais d’accord. Nous étions très horrifiés au risque candide que Kentrosaurus proposait et nous voulions respecter sa foi, et aussi nous ne voulions pas qu’il devienne extinctif. Il avait beaucoup travaillé avec sa sœur Quagga pour chercher un travail honnête; il n’envoyait plus 419 escroqueries par email.
"Que-ce-qui ce passe avec mon cousin Kentrosaurus?" me demandait Lexovissaurus.
"Il essai de mettre des sandales ? Je lui ai dit que les sandales sont pour le frère cheval, ceci n’est pas convenable pour un Stegosaurus!"
"Oui, nous avons eu une conférence de presse contestant de porter des sandales après les courses de Stegosaurus il y a quelques années ! Maintenant dépêche-toi et va voir ce que Kentrosaurus fait, avant qu’il se fasse du mal
dit Lexovissaurus. "Et je vais préparer le repas."
Je n’étais pas capable de convaincre Kentrosaurus de l’évidence scientifique en faveur de l’évolution. Plus que nous parlions plus que ses déclarations devenaient étranges.
Et il nous dit “C’est la fin du monde ; nous vivons maintenant dans les derniers moments de notre vie! Je suis très convaincu de ceci ! J’ai entendu dire qu’un géant météore pourrait frapper la terre bientôt, et je dois me préparer ! Nous devons mettre de côté le Hedera Helix pour les temps de famine! Je suis entrain de bâtir un abri souterrain pour le jour que ceci arrive! Nous devons être prêt parce que la fin est proche!"
Je n’avais pas le courage de lui dire que ce qu’il nous disait c’était déjà produit? "Es-tu allé au Yucatán Péninsule dernièrement? Lexovissaurus y est allé cet été. C’est impossible de ne pas voir le cratère."
À la fin, j’étais très heureuse d’avoir convaincu Kentrosaurus de ne pas utiliser ses plans avec les noix de coco; il était trop enchanté avec le Wooly Mammoth pour écouter.
Le jour suivant, Lexovissaurus et moi avons poliment écouté le sermon du Wooly Mammoth avec Kentrosaurus, et nous l’avons conduit à la frontière de France pour nous assurer qu’il avait tout oublier à propos des noix de coco et de l’Allosaurus.
Les gouts de tous sont différents, mais c’est incroyable ce qu’un zélé Mammoth peut faire croire à un crédule Stegosaurids. Les mammifères ont le même problème; et leurs cerveaux sont plus larges.
La foi a sa place, particulièrement durant les temps difficiles, mais je suis fière de ma formation d’éducation, et après une année à Oxford, je suis très convaincu de sa valeur.
Lors d’une pause durant mon semestre au collège à Oxford, je suis retourné chez-moi pour voir mon époux Lexovissaurus. Il avait piétiné au Mexique et puis aux États-Unis pour un peu de temps avant de retourner en France. Durant que j’étais parti, il a gardé notre caverne en donne ordre ! J’étais très occupé dans mes études à propos de l’extinction, ceci peu être très épuisant ! J’ai le meilleur époux au monde!
Nous avons célébré mon retour en allant à l’Opéra-Théâtre de Metz Métropole pour voir Daniel François Auber dans La Muette de Portici. La plupart du temps c’était amusant, car c’était un opéra comique et nous voulions rire. Mais l’amusement est devenu triste à la fin et par le sort de l’héroïne Fenella, qui a sauté dans un puits de lava et est disparue.
Moi et Lexovissaurus nous avons pleuré à la fin de l’opéra. Quand nous sommes retournés chez-nous une surprise nous attendait ! Kentrosaurus avait piétiné sans cesse à travers Nigeria et nous étions heureux de le revoir. Il nous a dit qu’il était venu en ville parce que le Wooly Mammoth allait donner un sermon à Paris durant le weekend, et pendant qu’il était en ville il voulait nous rendre visite.
Après peu de temps nous avons constaté que Kentrosaurus avait changé son point de vue depuis notre dernière visite.
"Combien de Wooly Mammoth sermons as-tu assisté?" demanda mon époux.
"Beaucoup ! Je me rappelle pas combien." répond Kentrosaurus. "Il est un inspiration pour moi! J’ai appris beaucoup ! J’espère que vous allez venir avec moi demain pour écouter son sermon."
Lexovissaurus et moi-même nous nous sommes excusés pour aller chercher quelque chose à manger pour notre invité. Nous sommes retournés avec un Hedera Helix et du fromage, Kentrosaurus nous a dit qu’il avait renoncé à des concepts ; tell que l’évolution et avait adopté le créationnisme sans réserve.
De plus il nous a fait une demande. Il avait appris que le mammifère qui s’occupe du Musée de Kentucky, aux États-Unis avait fait une chute et qu’Adam Allosaurus avait affilé ses dents avec des noix de coco. Il voulait savoir si nous pouvions l’aider à trouver des noix de coco pour donner à Allosaurus ; nous essayions de ne pas rire, mais ceci était plus amusant que Daniel Auber. Comme un geste de paix, il croyait que Allosaurus penserait au passé et qu’il essaierait les noix de coco : "J’essai de sauvé son esprit!" a déclara Kentrosaurus. "Peut-être que je peux mettre fin à la rivalité entre lui et mon cousin Stegosaurus et sauvegarder sa vie et celle de mon cousin!"
"Je vais m’excusé pour aller préparer un plat qui ira bien avec l’Hedera Helix, j’espère que tu seras capable de lui faire comprendre du sens," mon époux me dit et j’étais d’accord. Nous étions très horrifiés au risque candide que Kentrosaurus proposait et nous voulions respecter sa foi, et aussi nous ne voulions pas qu’il devienne extinctif. Il avait beaucoup travaillé avec sa sœur Quagga pour chercher un travail honnête; il n’envoyait plus 419 escroqueries par email.
"Que-ce-qui ce passe avec mon cousin Kentrosaurus?" me demandait Lexovissaurus.
"Il essai de mettre des sandales ? Je lui ai dit que les sandales sont pour le frère cheval, ceci n’est pas convenable pour un Stegosaurus!"
"Oui, nous avons eu une conférence de presse contestant de porter des sandales après les courses de Stegosaurus il y a quelques années ! Maintenant dépêche-toi et va voir ce que Kentrosaurus fait, avant qu’il se fasse du mal
dit Lexovissaurus. "Et je vais préparer le repas."
Je n’étais pas capable de convaincre Kentrosaurus de l’évidence scientifique en faveur de l’évolution. Plus que nous parlions plus que ses déclarations devenaient étranges.
Et il nous dit “C’est la fin du monde ; nous vivons maintenant dans les derniers moments de notre vie! Je suis très convaincu de ceci ! J’ai entendu dire qu’un géant météore pourrait frapper la terre bientôt, et je dois me préparer ! Nous devons mettre de côté le Hedera Helix pour les temps de famine! Je suis entrain de bâtir un abri souterrain pour le jour que ceci arrive! Nous devons être prêt parce que la fin est proche!"
Je n’avais pas le courage de lui dire que ce qu’il nous disait c’était déjà produit? "Es-tu allé au Yucatán Péninsule dernièrement? Lexovissaurus y est allé cet été. C’est impossible de ne pas voir le cratère."
À la fin, j’étais très heureuse d’avoir convaincu Kentrosaurus de ne pas utiliser ses plans avec les noix de coco; il était trop enchanté avec le Wooly Mammoth pour écouter.
Le jour suivant, Lexovissaurus et moi avons poliment écouté le sermon du Wooly Mammoth avec Kentrosaurus, et nous l’avons conduit à la frontière de France pour nous assurer qu’il avait tout oublier à propos des noix de coco et de l’Allosaurus.
Les gouts de tous sont différents, mais c’est incroyable ce qu’un zélé Mammoth peut faire croire à un crédule Stegosaurids. Les mammifères ont le même problème; et leurs cerveaux sont plus larges.
La foi a sa place, particulièrement durant les temps difficiles, mais je suis fière de ma formation d’éducation, et après une année à Oxford, je suis très convaincu de sa valeur.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
"It's nice to be back in college again," said Stegosaurus. "I'm up in Michigan right now, specifically the Great Lakes region looking for Mentha Piperita. One of my classmates has developed an upset stomach because he made the mistake that I made a little while back and ate a hearty meal of Lyonia ferruginea in Florida. Now we're up here in the mid west looking for a cure. I'm sure we'll find some soon. I'm glad we started now; it being late summer the season is almost over.
After class today I'd like to stomp forthrightly to Canada and visit my Canadian friend Styracosaurus. He tells me that Canada has introduced Corylus americana to its land, and I've been thinking about it the whole time. Corylus americana is a real treat, and perhaps I'll try it with a keg or two of Stegosaurus Stout.
It'll be nice to visit Canada again it has been some time since I stomped there. I'd also like to dine on some native tree species, like Abies lasiocarpa, Picea glauca, Taxus canadensis, and of course that miracle of modern technology... my favorite broadleaf... Acer rubrum !!
Looks like I'll need to bring more Stegosaurus Stout, and of course, not forget to be good and share my meal with my host Styracosaurus. He's already expecting my visit and saving me some Coffee plants which he brings with him from visits to Africa and Asia.
Yes, yes I know this all seems very routine. Sometimes the life of a Stegosaurus, eating large quantities of verdure and stomping forthrightly everywhere is just that, routine. I am content with my pleasant lot; I hope you are too. Sometimes difficulties may be visited upon us, but it is all very relative. If you think you are having a bad day just wait until a giant meteor slams into the Yucatán Peninsula .... perspective has a positive way of helping one to organize their priorities.
After class today I'd like to stomp forthrightly to Canada and visit my Canadian friend Styracosaurus. He tells me that Canada has introduced Corylus americana to its land, and I've been thinking about it the whole time. Corylus americana is a real treat, and perhaps I'll try it with a keg or two of Stegosaurus Stout.
It'll be nice to visit Canada again it has been some time since I stomped there. I'd also like to dine on some native tree species, like Abies lasiocarpa, Picea glauca, Taxus canadensis, and of course that miracle of modern technology... my favorite broadleaf... Acer rubrum !!
Looks like I'll need to bring more Stegosaurus Stout, and of course, not forget to be good and share my meal with my host Styracosaurus. He's already expecting my visit and saving me some Coffee plants which he brings with him from visits to Africa and Asia.
Yes, yes I know this all seems very routine. Sometimes the life of a Stegosaurus, eating large quantities of verdure and stomping forthrightly everywhere is just that, routine. I am content with my pleasant lot; I hope you are too. Sometimes difficulties may be visited upon us, but it is all very relative. If you think you are having a bad day just wait until a giant meteor slams into the Yucatán Peninsula .... perspective has a positive way of helping one to organize their priorities.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
"I have been disillusioned with politics since my failed Senate campaign of 2008," said Stegosaurus. "I am much more content to be a farmer scientist, without a care in the world and no ambition to govern men or dinosaurs."
"I spent last week in my garden trying out coffee plants in the modern fashion of grinding and brewing the bean. The results? I don't know .... I think I like the traditional method of just eating the plant whole; this grinding and brewing I am sure will be a short lived fad. Eventually mammals will come to their senses and realize that grinding and brewing takes more time and effort than it is really worth and it really is more economical to just eat the plant whole."
"My friend Rhedosaurus and his wife Lady Rhedosaurus however are not inclined to such peaceful endeavors. They are involved in political matters right now as I speak.
It seems they have recently arrived in New York City, where they can be found occupying Wall Street. I read all about it in the newspaper before I ate it."
******************
"My Lady Rhedosaurus and I felt it was time to rescue the mammals from their own folly and join the ranks of those occupying Wall Street." Observed Rhedosaurus.
"Trust us, we will have the most sincere respect for the law while occupying Wall Street. Surely no one will fear us, for our manners are so mild. Okay, perhaps I have a history of eating policemen; but my wife and I will respect policemen as long as they respect themselves. We will respect policemen so long as they respect the law they represent. After that, they are delicious. Very delicious."
*******************
When the major media outlets reported that two dinosaurs were stomping forth to occupy Wall Street, the politicians all had something to say.
Congressman Ron Paul R - TX, a 2012 candidate for President, released the following statement: "I think its fine that Rhedosaurus and his wife are on Wall Street! They should go to the Federal Reserve!"
Nobel Prize winning economist Paul Krugman stated emphatically, "If America collapses, it will be because Rhedosaurus has not engaged in any spending."
President Barack Obama declared, "Rhedosaurus didn't get there on his own; someone else helped Rhedosaurus get to Wall Street."
Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney asserted, "I believe in the kind of America that Rhedosaurus believes in. That's the kind of America that we all want, because we believe in it."
Libertarian Presidential Candidate Gary Johnson proudly stated, "I read a book with Rhedosaurus in it once. It even had other dinosaurs in it too!"
*************************
"I am not sure how this will turn out for Rhedosaurus," said Stegosaurus. "As for myself, I think I'll eat some more coffee plants, maybe some tomatoes. Rhedosaurus may do as he pleases, but I have come to feel that the mammals should solve their own problems, and stop looking to big solutions like myself and Rhedosaurus. Bigger isn't always better, and intervention usually gives rise to the law of unintended consequences."
"If you'll excuse me now, I think I'd like to work on planting a late season crop of cucumbers."
"I spent last week in my garden trying out coffee plants in the modern fashion of grinding and brewing the bean. The results? I don't know .... I think I like the traditional method of just eating the plant whole; this grinding and brewing I am sure will be a short lived fad. Eventually mammals will come to their senses and realize that grinding and brewing takes more time and effort than it is really worth and it really is more economical to just eat the plant whole."
"My friend Rhedosaurus and his wife Lady Rhedosaurus however are not inclined to such peaceful endeavors. They are involved in political matters right now as I speak.
It seems they have recently arrived in New York City, where they can be found occupying Wall Street. I read all about it in the newspaper before I ate it."
******************
"My Lady Rhedosaurus and I felt it was time to rescue the mammals from their own folly and join the ranks of those occupying Wall Street." Observed Rhedosaurus.
"Trust us, we will have the most sincere respect for the law while occupying Wall Street. Surely no one will fear us, for our manners are so mild. Okay, perhaps I have a history of eating policemen; but my wife and I will respect policemen as long as they respect themselves. We will respect policemen so long as they respect the law they represent. After that, they are delicious. Very delicious."
*******************
When the major media outlets reported that two dinosaurs were stomping forth to occupy Wall Street, the politicians all had something to say.
Congressman Ron Paul R - TX, a 2012 candidate for President, released the following statement: "I think its fine that Rhedosaurus and his wife are on Wall Street! They should go to the Federal Reserve!"
Nobel Prize winning economist Paul Krugman stated emphatically, "If America collapses, it will be because Rhedosaurus has not engaged in any spending."
President Barack Obama declared, "Rhedosaurus didn't get there on his own; someone else helped Rhedosaurus get to Wall Street."
Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney asserted, "I believe in the kind of America that Rhedosaurus believes in. That's the kind of America that we all want, because we believe in it."
Libertarian Presidential Candidate Gary Johnson proudly stated, "I read a book with Rhedosaurus in it once. It even had other dinosaurs in it too!"
*************************
"I am not sure how this will turn out for Rhedosaurus," said Stegosaurus. "As for myself, I think I'll eat some more coffee plants, maybe some tomatoes. Rhedosaurus may do as he pleases, but I have come to feel that the mammals should solve their own problems, and stop looking to big solutions like myself and Rhedosaurus. Bigger isn't always better, and intervention usually gives rise to the law of unintended consequences."
"If you'll excuse me now, I think I'd like to work on planting a late season crop of cucumbers."
Monday, July 16, 2012
"I have had an interesting July full of hard work," declared Stegosaurus.
The fall semester of my medical school had ended, and since June I had relaxed in my native State of Colorado living the easy and care free life of a farmer scientist. I've recently read fascinating scientific tales of a mammal who attempted to extract sunlight from cucumbers, and had been trying to duplicate this feat. Then, I heard news of a terrible wind storm called a Derecho, which caused a great deal of property damage, and even extinction for some mammals from the midwest into the southern states."
"This of course sent both the Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency and The Stegosaurus Construction Company into action so I abandoned my cucumber project, and my classmates and I were very busy for over a week, working with the mammals to restore order to the storm damaged areas. While the mammals worked diligently at mammal work, my class and I ate many downed trees, and the Stegosaurus Construction Company also stomped in where necessary to help rebuild mammal structures. It was a pleasure to work with them, and to help in any way we could to make the area nice for mammals to live in. "
News Coverage of the Derecho ( Roanoke Times, Roanoke, Virginia )
Photos of Derecho storm damage ( Rockbridge County, Lexington,Virginia )
"This tree was very delicious," said Stegosaurus. "The Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency came to the aid of the mammals who lived here, and then The Stegosaurus Construction Company rebuilt the roof of this structure, because roofing is our specialty."
The fall semester of my medical school had ended, and since June I had relaxed in my native State of Colorado living the easy and care free life of a farmer scientist. I've recently read fascinating scientific tales of a mammal who attempted to extract sunlight from cucumbers, and had been trying to duplicate this feat. Then, I heard news of a terrible wind storm called a Derecho, which caused a great deal of property damage, and even extinction for some mammals from the midwest into the southern states."
"This of course sent both the Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency and The Stegosaurus Construction Company into action so I abandoned my cucumber project, and my classmates and I were very busy for over a week, working with the mammals to restore order to the storm damaged areas. While the mammals worked diligently at mammal work, my class and I ate many downed trees, and the Stegosaurus Construction Company also stomped in where necessary to help rebuild mammal structures. It was a pleasure to work with them, and to help in any way we could to make the area nice for mammals to live in. "
News Coverage of the Derecho ( Roanoke Times, Roanoke, Virginia )
Photos of Derecho storm damage ( Rockbridge County, Lexington,Virginia )
"This tree was very delicious," said Stegosaurus. "The Stegosaurus Disaster Relief Agency came to the aid of the mammals who lived here, and then The Stegosaurus Construction Company rebuilt the roof of this structure, because roofing is our specialty."
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Study Reveals: Triceratops No Slouch
Puttin' On The Ritz: Birdlike dinos wore basic black with glossy touch
Warm & Fuzzy Tyrannosaurus Rex? New Evidence From China
New Culprit For Global Warming: Blame Dinosaur Farts
Feathers or not, Tyrannosaurus Rex belongs to Mongolia
Iowa Family: Mammoth in our backyard
Puttin' On The Ritz: Birdlike dinos wore basic black with glossy touch
Warm & Fuzzy Tyrannosaurus Rex? New Evidence From China
New Culprit For Global Warming: Blame Dinosaur Farts
Feathers or not, Tyrannosaurus Rex belongs to Mongolia
Iowa Family: Mammoth in our backyard
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
"At dinner one night, some years ago, someone asked us to name, in order of importance, our Most Favorite Subjects In All The History Of The World! "Dinosaurs!" I cried. Followed quickly by " Egypt! Tutankhamen! Mummies!" ....
.... Still, this late in time, my opinion remains: Dinosaurs and Tut. I haven't as yet figured out what should be in third place. Could be the Moon. Or Mars. They almost make it. BUT STEGOSAURUS MAKES IT FIRST."
~ Ray Bradbury, August 12th, 1982
.... Still, this late in time, my opinion remains: Dinosaurs and Tut. I haven't as yet figured out what should be in third place. Could be the Moon. Or Mars. They almost make it. BUT STEGOSAURUS MAKES IT FIRST."
~ Ray Bradbury, August 12th, 1982
In Boulder, Colorado today Stegosaurus held a joint press conference with his friend Rhedosaurus so that they could express to the public their feelings about the transition of author Ray Bradbury to a realm beyond this mortal coil. These are the statements that were made:
"The mammals of the world have today lost an imaginative and creative genius from among their species, and dinosaurs everywhere have lost a passionate and loyal ambassador," said Stegosaurus, with a tear in his eye. "Mr. Bradbury's ability to see the world each day with eyes of wonder and fascination is becoming increasingly rare in this world, and though his words will have gained him as much immortality as any mammal might hope for his physical presence will ever be sorely missed. All dinosaurs everywhere mourn the loss of one of their biggest advocates, and we share in the sorrow of Ray Bradbury's friends and family, to whom we send the most sincere and heartfelt condolences."
Rhedosaurus stepped up to the podium, and was at first silent, the press waiting expectantly. Then, abruptly he wailed, a long, lonesome, mournful cry; it drowned out all other sounds, and shook the mountains with vibrations of grief. At any other time, hearing such a sound would have caused fear. People would have been afraid .... but they understood, kept their places and wept with him.
"The mammals of the world have today lost an imaginative and creative genius from among their species, and dinosaurs everywhere have lost a passionate and loyal ambassador," said Stegosaurus, with a tear in his eye. "Mr. Bradbury's ability to see the world each day with eyes of wonder and fascination is becoming increasingly rare in this world, and though his words will have gained him as much immortality as any mammal might hope for his physical presence will ever be sorely missed. All dinosaurs everywhere mourn the loss of one of their biggest advocates, and we share in the sorrow of Ray Bradbury's friends and family, to whom we send the most sincere and heartfelt condolences."
Rhedosaurus stepped up to the podium, and was at first silent, the press waiting expectantly. Then, abruptly he wailed, a long, lonesome, mournful cry; it drowned out all other sounds, and shook the mountains with vibrations of grief. At any other time, hearing such a sound would have caused fear. People would have been afraid .... but they understood, kept their places and wept with him.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
After semester finals in California, ( and a nice visit from Lexovissaurus,) I returned home to celebrate my 140 million and 6th birthday. Here's a picture from last Friday of me enjoying a Colorado sized slice of cake with my afternoon tea. Where has the time gone? It seems like only yesterday that I left my shell.
I am so lucky to have lived so long and experienced so much. I truly miss the days when the earth was one continuous land mass; that made travel so much simpler! That said, my goodness! How amazing technology has become! Why,the other day I stomped forthrightly to my local coffee shop for a nice meal of coffee plants and learned that they grind and brew coffee beans now! I still prefer the traditional method of eating the whole plant; after more than 140 million years one tends to get set in their ways... but a lot of mammals really enjoy drinking it.
How amazing things are today. What amazing things will happen in the next 140 million years? Stick with me; we'll find out together!
I am so lucky to have lived so long and experienced so much. I truly miss the days when the earth was one continuous land mass; that made travel so much simpler! That said, my goodness! How amazing technology has become! Why,the other day I stomped forthrightly to my local coffee shop for a nice meal of coffee plants and learned that they grind and brew coffee beans now! I still prefer the traditional method of eating the whole plant; after more than 140 million years one tends to get set in their ways... but a lot of mammals really enjoy drinking it.
How amazing things are today. What amazing things will happen in the next 140 million years? Stick with me; we'll find out together!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Bonjour, je m’appelle Loricatosaurus!
Je suis toujours à Oxford et j’étudie la paléontologie et je m’amuse bien. J’ai reçu un mot de mon cher époux Lexovissaurus qui a piétiné à travers le Mexique parce que tous les mammifères qui luttent sur la frontière l’avaient rendu nerveux. Il a été invité par son cousin Stegosaurus de venir passer du temps en Amérique avec la classe de Stegosaurus durant leurs dernières semaines de classe. La classe est en Californie essayant de renverser encore le Sequoiadendron Gigantum.
Et me voici ici en Angleterre où j’ai reçu une visite de Kentrosaurus! Ou plus proprement dit j’ai rencontré Kentrosaurus à l’Londres quand il avait piétiné sans détours jusque dans la Nigéria pour le sermon du Wooly Mammoth à propos de Joshua et les Hittites.
Je ne pouvais pas assister au sermon parce que j’étais trop occupé avec mes études. J’ai trouvé que c’est beaucoup de travail sur la curiosité de comment l’on devient disparu. Je l’ai rencontré plus tard pour un agréable déjeuner au Syon Park Gardens.
J’ai été très surprise lorsque Kentrosaurus m’a dit que le Wooly Mammoth l’avait convaincu que l’évolution était absurde et que je devrais arrêter de me faire des soucis à propos de l’extinction! Pour un bref instant, je me demandais ce qui était arrivé à Kentrosaurus à propos de sa tentative de trouver une vraie job, mais j’ai décidé de demeurer sur le présent sujet. D’habitude je ne me donnerais pas de soucis sur la discussion entre la science et la foi. Je suis d’habitude trop occupé pour prendre de mon temps pour parler en round avec des personnes qui ne veulent rien sur la discussion à l’exception de valider leurs convictions. Cependant, parce que Kentrosaurus est le cousin de mon mari, je devais au moins essayé de lui parler et lui faire comprendre ses erreurs.
J’ai cité Charles Darwin, qui lui-même était perplexe par l’animosité du clergé envers sa théorie, donné quelle n’ignore pas l’influence de la divine Providence:
"I see no good reason why the views given in this volume should shock the religious feelings of anyone .... a celebrated author and divine has written to me that he had gradually learnt to see that it is just as noble a conception of the Deity to believe that He created a few original forms, as to believe that He required a fresh act of creation to supply the voids caused by the actions of His laws." *
Pour quelque soit la raison, beaucoup de mammifères, et maintenant Kentrosaurus, refuse de lire le livre en entier et prennent des choses hors de contexte. D’habitude il est impossible que ses personnes comprennent le bon sens des choses. Ils ne veulent pas faire face à la réalité des choses peu importe combien d’exemples de preuves qu’on leurs donnent. Je suis convaincu que Wooly Mammoth pense bien faire pour ses espèces, et pour n’importe qui d’autre qui veut suivre son enseignement, mais dans plusieurs instants il défie toute logique.
Je doute que j’ai réussi, mais j’ai fais de mon mieux. Je suis sûre que ceci ne sera pas la conclusion de ce problème. Assurez-vous de jeter un coup d’œil sur notre progrès, et je serais très heureux de vous racontez nos expériences.
* Darwin quote, Origin of Species 2nd Edition, January 7th, 1860.
Je suis toujours à Oxford et j’étudie la paléontologie et je m’amuse bien. J’ai reçu un mot de mon cher époux Lexovissaurus qui a piétiné à travers le Mexique parce que tous les mammifères qui luttent sur la frontière l’avaient rendu nerveux. Il a été invité par son cousin Stegosaurus de venir passer du temps en Amérique avec la classe de Stegosaurus durant leurs dernières semaines de classe. La classe est en Californie essayant de renverser encore le Sequoiadendron Gigantum.
Et me voici ici en Angleterre où j’ai reçu une visite de Kentrosaurus! Ou plus proprement dit j’ai rencontré Kentrosaurus à l’Londres quand il avait piétiné sans détours jusque dans la Nigéria pour le sermon du Wooly Mammoth à propos de Joshua et les Hittites.
Je ne pouvais pas assister au sermon parce que j’étais trop occupé avec mes études. J’ai trouvé que c’est beaucoup de travail sur la curiosité de comment l’on devient disparu. Je l’ai rencontré plus tard pour un agréable déjeuner au Syon Park Gardens.
J’ai été très surprise lorsque Kentrosaurus m’a dit que le Wooly Mammoth l’avait convaincu que l’évolution était absurde et que je devrais arrêter de me faire des soucis à propos de l’extinction! Pour un bref instant, je me demandais ce qui était arrivé à Kentrosaurus à propos de sa tentative de trouver une vraie job, mais j’ai décidé de demeurer sur le présent sujet. D’habitude je ne me donnerais pas de soucis sur la discussion entre la science et la foi. Je suis d’habitude trop occupé pour prendre de mon temps pour parler en round avec des personnes qui ne veulent rien sur la discussion à l’exception de valider leurs convictions. Cependant, parce que Kentrosaurus est le cousin de mon mari, je devais au moins essayé de lui parler et lui faire comprendre ses erreurs.
J’ai cité Charles Darwin, qui lui-même était perplexe par l’animosité du clergé envers sa théorie, donné quelle n’ignore pas l’influence de la divine Providence:
"I see no good reason why the views given in this volume should shock the religious feelings of anyone .... a celebrated author and divine has written to me that he had gradually learnt to see that it is just as noble a conception of the Deity to believe that He created a few original forms, as to believe that He required a fresh act of creation to supply the voids caused by the actions of His laws." *
Pour quelque soit la raison, beaucoup de mammifères, et maintenant Kentrosaurus, refuse de lire le livre en entier et prennent des choses hors de contexte. D’habitude il est impossible que ses personnes comprennent le bon sens des choses. Ils ne veulent pas faire face à la réalité des choses peu importe combien d’exemples de preuves qu’on leurs donnent. Je suis convaincu que Wooly Mammoth pense bien faire pour ses espèces, et pour n’importe qui d’autre qui veut suivre son enseignement, mais dans plusieurs instants il défie toute logique.
Je doute que j’ai réussi, mais j’ai fais de mon mieux. Je suis sûre que ceci ne sera pas la conclusion de ce problème. Assurez-vous de jeter un coup d’œil sur notre progrès, et je serais très heureux de vous racontez nos expériences.
* Darwin quote, Origin of Species 2nd Edition, January 7th, 1860.
Monday, April 16, 2012
"I woke up this morning and found I had no feathers. Not even one," said Stegosaurus glumly. "Obviously the whole thing was a dream, or perhaps I just don't feel like evolving right now. Who knows? Stomping back to the community arboretum made things a whole lot better. I dined on a nice meal of Pinus sylvestris and forgot my troubles. Perhaps one of these millennia I will evolve, but its not going to start today. I suppose Marilyn's right. It doesn't cost a dime to dream, does it?"
Sunday, April 15, 2012
"I woke up this morning, and look at the amazing changes! I'm evolving!! I'm so excited to be growing feathers I wonder what is going to happen to me next," said Stegosaurus.
"I can stop being envious of my friends who have feathers now! Isn't this just grand!?
What perfect timing, too. Cousin Wuerhosaurus wrote me last week and told me that even Tyrannosaurus Rex has feathers now and I really started feeling left out. Even though I'm one of the most popular of the dinosaurs I couldn't help feeling like I was late to the evolution party. But not any longer! I'm finally cutting edge!"
"The first thing I did when I found I had feathers was to go out and celebrate! I stomped forthrightly and danced the lindy hop all the way to the town arboretum. I thought the first to share my joy should be the children who love me so, so I went to the Children's garden, thinking, 'This must be where they grow them!' But when I got there there were no children to be found. I consoled my self by sampling some of the fine verdure."
"Just thinking about how this might improve my relationship with the birds I love to watch so much, I climbed to a high place to see if I had gained the ability to fly. Sad to say so far it isn't so. Maybe tomorrow. One note of warning, kids: don't try jumping off of high places at home or anywhere else! It is dangerous and you could hurt yourself very badly or even become extinct so be cautious and careful at all times!"
"After I learned that I could not ( yet ) fly, I decided to dine on some Pinus nigra to see if it improves my knowledge of economics."
"This is really a very interesting development. The summer should be quite exciting to say the least. I think I'll contemplate the significance of my feathers as I plow in my garden in preparation for planting this season's tomato crop. Wait until my friends The Moa birds find out about my feathers! Gee I hope they won't be jealous if I do start flying .... "
This blog post in memory of Seth Williamson. Work without Mr. Seth is like Stegosaurus without a cool, spiky tail. It just ain't right...
"I can stop being envious of my friends who have feathers now! Isn't this just grand!?
What perfect timing, too. Cousin Wuerhosaurus wrote me last week and told me that even Tyrannosaurus Rex has feathers now and I really started feeling left out. Even though I'm one of the most popular of the dinosaurs I couldn't help feeling like I was late to the evolution party. But not any longer! I'm finally cutting edge!"
"The first thing I did when I found I had feathers was to go out and celebrate! I stomped forthrightly and danced the lindy hop all the way to the town arboretum. I thought the first to share my joy should be the children who love me so, so I went to the Children's garden, thinking, 'This must be where they grow them!' But when I got there there were no children to be found. I consoled my self by sampling some of the fine verdure."
"Just thinking about how this might improve my relationship with the birds I love to watch so much, I climbed to a high place to see if I had gained the ability to fly. Sad to say so far it isn't so. Maybe tomorrow. One note of warning, kids: don't try jumping off of high places at home or anywhere else! It is dangerous and you could hurt yourself very badly or even become extinct so be cautious and careful at all times!"
"After I learned that I could not ( yet ) fly, I decided to dine on some Pinus nigra to see if it improves my knowledge of economics."
"This is really a very interesting development. The summer should be quite exciting to say the least. I think I'll contemplate the significance of my feathers as I plow in my garden in preparation for planting this season's tomato crop. Wait until my friends The Moa birds find out about my feathers! Gee I hope they won't be jealous if I do start flying .... "
This blog post in memory of Seth Williamson. Work without Mr. Seth is like Stegosaurus without a cool, spiky tail. It just ain't right...
Sunday, March 25, 2012
"My sister Quagga had a conversation with me about obtaining an honest job the other day," said Kentrosaurus. "At first I was upset,you know. My sister Quagga and I are veterans of the little known 1945 Battle of Humboldt Museum, and I live pretty well on my military pension supplemented by sending emails out from my home computer in Nigeria. I found out its pretty easy to fool mammals into sending things if you just ask politely. You wouldn't expect that from animals with such large brains, but you know I was surprised.
So I've been living pretty well. Pretty well, you know, for an extinct animal. An extinct creature doesn't need many creature comforts, but still ... I hadn't really thought about it and I was upset at first when well meaning Quagga made the suggestion. She admonished me for admiring the sermons of Wooly Mammoth as much as I do, and not living by the example he sets. I got to thinking about it, and Leviticus 19:11 came to mind: Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another. as well as Deuteronomy chapter 25, verses 15 and 16. You must have accurate and honest weights and measures, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. For the LORD your God detests anyone who does these things, anyone who deals dishonestly.
Wise Quagga said to me, "Honestly Kentrosaurus, if you're going to talk the talk, stomp the stomp. Forthrightly."
I saw that she was right, and repented of my ways. I'll now leave the writing of the Nigerian emails to others, and embark upon a quest of my very own for an honest job.
I created a LinkedIn Account on the internet, but really don't know what I'd like to do to make an honest living. Can anyone help me make up my mind? I know I should make my skill set known to potential employers so I'd like to say that I feel one of my strongest points is that I am a plant eater, and so I am not very aggressive. Obviously I can get along well with others, but just in case we are attacked I can without hesitation use my cool, spiky tail to defend myself if I absolutely had to.
Are there any suggestions out there? Give me your opinion by sending an email to Stegosaurus. My cousin will make sure I get the email.
So I've been living pretty well. Pretty well, you know, for an extinct animal. An extinct creature doesn't need many creature comforts, but still ... I hadn't really thought about it and I was upset at first when well meaning Quagga made the suggestion. She admonished me for admiring the sermons of Wooly Mammoth as much as I do, and not living by the example he sets. I got to thinking about it, and Leviticus 19:11 came to mind: Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another. as well as Deuteronomy chapter 25, verses 15 and 16. You must have accurate and honest weights and measures, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. For the LORD your God detests anyone who does these things, anyone who deals dishonestly.
Wise Quagga said to me, "Honestly Kentrosaurus, if you're going to talk the talk, stomp the stomp. Forthrightly."
I saw that she was right, and repented of my ways. I'll now leave the writing of the Nigerian emails to others, and embark upon a quest of my very own for an honest job.
I created a LinkedIn Account on the internet, but really don't know what I'd like to do to make an honest living. Can anyone help me make up my mind? I know I should make my skill set known to potential employers so I'd like to say that I feel one of my strongest points is that I am a plant eater, and so I am not very aggressive. Obviously I can get along well with others, but just in case we are attacked I can without hesitation use my cool, spiky tail to defend myself if I absolutely had to.
Are there any suggestions out there? Give me your opinion by sending an email to Stegosaurus. My cousin will make sure I get the email.
Monday, February 20, 2012
"Recently I overheard that my friend at WVTF, Program Director Rick Mattioni, was very concerned about the environment given that the winter so far as been remarkably mild," said Stegosaurus. "I responded to his concerns with this email. I hope it makes him feel better. I love writing email."
Hi, My Name Is Stegosaurus!
I heard that you were very concerned about the environment. Well, it happens that I am concerned about the environment too. Of course I have a great deal of interest in alternative fuel sources because we all know fossil fuel is murder. Still, if you think this winter is warm you should have seen the winter about 135 million years ago. There were no polar ice caps and honestly, if a world without polar ice caps was good enough for me, it should be good enough for you too.
I remember last time this happened. I really thought I could do something about the environment at first, but I decided to become extinct instead. All my friends were going and I figured, "What the heck, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em."
I would advise mammals to guard your private property rights, and enact tax credits for environmentally responsible businesses. Perhaps you can slow down this cyclical process. But in the end, I know it doesn't sound encouraging, you'll probably just become extinct like me. So, relax while you can and eat some aloe plants. The earth knows what she is doing and it will all work out for the best. Don't worry. All the planning in the world won't stop a giant meteor from falling out of the sky and setting everything on fire. If you think its warm now just wait...
Worrying is a strange curiosity that you mammals suffer from as a result of your larger brains. I'm lucky my brain is only the size of a walnut. I usually forget to worry because I get distracted by a nice meal of ferns or maybe one of those miracles of modern technology, the Acer rubrum . Broad leaf trees are very delicious. You should try one.
I hope you have a nice day.
your friend,
Stegosaurus
Hi, My Name Is Stegosaurus!
I heard that you were very concerned about the environment. Well, it happens that I am concerned about the environment too. Of course I have a great deal of interest in alternative fuel sources because we all know fossil fuel is murder. Still, if you think this winter is warm you should have seen the winter about 135 million years ago. There were no polar ice caps and honestly, if a world without polar ice caps was good enough for me, it should be good enough for you too.
I remember last time this happened. I really thought I could do something about the environment at first, but I decided to become extinct instead. All my friends were going and I figured, "What the heck, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em."
I would advise mammals to guard your private property rights, and enact tax credits for environmentally responsible businesses. Perhaps you can slow down this cyclical process. But in the end, I know it doesn't sound encouraging, you'll probably just become extinct like me. So, relax while you can and eat some aloe plants. The earth knows what she is doing and it will all work out for the best. Don't worry. All the planning in the world won't stop a giant meteor from falling out of the sky and setting everything on fire. If you think its warm now just wait...
Worrying is a strange curiosity that you mammals suffer from as a result of your larger brains. I'm lucky my brain is only the size of a walnut. I usually forget to worry because I get distracted by a nice meal of ferns or maybe one of those miracles of modern technology, the Acer rubrum . Broad leaf trees are very delicious. You should try one.
I hope you have a nice day.
your friend,
Stegosaurus
Friday, February 10, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Bonjour, Je m’appelle Loricatosaurus!
Lexovissaurus et moi, nous avons passé des belles fêtes de Noël et comme prévu je suis maintenant à L’Université d’Oxford, en Angleterre. Je suis sur le chemin d’obtenir ma maîtrise d’archéologie. Je suis très curieuse et je me suis toujours demandé comment nous avons disparu. Donc je vais me spécialiser dans la théorie d’extinction massive! J’ai le support total de mon cher mari, qui n’est plus en France, il est parti à grands pas, sans détours, au Mexique, où il espère de diner sur des Cycas et du fromage.
Quant à mes impressions d’Angleterre, je crois que Frédéric Chopin avait raison. Un français qui parle à un Anglais et vise versa est comme un cochon qui parle à un canard. Étant fière de ma langue natale, je ne suis pas enthousiaste à apprendre l’Anglais, mais se serrait utile pour être capable de vivre ici dans un collège Anglais. Lorsque je me suis enrôlée, je me suis inscrite dans un cours d’Anglais ... mais ne vous inquiéter pas. Je vais toujours parler le Français ici parce que je suis très fière de mes racines. Je vais aussi prendre des cours préparatoires d’évolution mammifère (humain). Ce ne sera pas un grand défi; je me rappelle de leur parenté la plus proche, les Dimétrodons, parce que j’ai vu le tout en temps réel.
Je suppose que le collège sera une intéressante expérience. L’habilité du cerveau Stegosaurids est largement sous-estimer, parce qu’il est la grosseur d’une noix. Mais je suis prêt pour la tache! Déterminer de résoudre une fois pour toutes le mystère de l’extinction!
Lexovissaurus et moi, nous avons passé des belles fêtes de Noël et comme prévu je suis maintenant à L’Université d’Oxford, en Angleterre. Je suis sur le chemin d’obtenir ma maîtrise d’archéologie. Je suis très curieuse et je me suis toujours demandé comment nous avons disparu. Donc je vais me spécialiser dans la théorie d’extinction massive! J’ai le support total de mon cher mari, qui n’est plus en France, il est parti à grands pas, sans détours, au Mexique, où il espère de diner sur des Cycas et du fromage.
Quant à mes impressions d’Angleterre, je crois que Frédéric Chopin avait raison. Un français qui parle à un Anglais et vise versa est comme un cochon qui parle à un canard. Étant fière de ma langue natale, je ne suis pas enthousiaste à apprendre l’Anglais, mais se serrait utile pour être capable de vivre ici dans un collège Anglais. Lorsque je me suis enrôlée, je me suis inscrite dans un cours d’Anglais ... mais ne vous inquiéter pas. Je vais toujours parler le Français ici parce que je suis très fière de mes racines. Je vais aussi prendre des cours préparatoires d’évolution mammifère (humain). Ce ne sera pas un grand défi; je me rappelle de leur parenté la plus proche, les Dimétrodons, parce que j’ai vu le tout en temps réel.
Je suppose que le collège sera une intéressante expérience. L’habilité du cerveau Stegosaurids est largement sous-estimer, parce qu’il est la grosseur d’une noix. Mais je suis prêt pour la tache! Déterminer de résoudre une fois pour toutes le mystère de l’extinction!
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