"The popularity of my performance as Count Drosselmeyer in Tschiakovski's The Nutcracker has necessitated the addition of dates through the holiday weekend, so I am still in New York," said Stegosaurus.

"I got Christmas cards from my cousins. Lexovissaurus' card just said Joyeux Noel!, but Kentrosaurus had a lot of news to relate.

He told me that he'd applied to march in the Innaugural Parade for US President Barack Obama, and he thought certaintly that he'd be accepted.

He's from Kenya, and the President - elect has family in Kenya. He also thought that his status as a World War II veteran ( he served in the little known Battle of Humboldt Museum ) would elevate his chances.

But unfortunately apparently the President - elect's transition staff did not take his application seriously and declined it.

He's always felt the world did not appreciate his service in the second World War, since he was so severely injured in the Battle of Humboldt Museum, and never recieved a Purple Heart. Now this happened so he was very sad about the rejection. I told him I was very proud of his time spent in the military; I spent most of my time during the War Years on the Homefront trying not to eat my victory garden. Kentrosaurus always has been braver than I am.

Kentrosaurus is planning to invite our sister Quagga over for Christmas dinner --- She is also a veteran of the Battle of Humboldt Museum -- and he said he's felt inspired by the generosity of the season to invite our friend Spinosaurus, if he promises to be a good dinosaur and not eat them all. Kentrosaurus would like to have a nice veteran's reunion.

I have to run now I'm on the stage in 15 minutes! There's a lot of work to do before Stegosaurus Claus comes tonight!"

Dinosaur Dads Cared For Young, Researchers Say

"Late Sunday afternoon, after my final successful performance as Count Drosselmeyer in Tschiakovski's The Nutcracker at New York's Radio City Music Hall, I stomped over to Macy's Department Store to visit with Stegosaurus Claus," said Stegosaurus. "I couldn't wait to tell him what I'd like for Christmas!"

"You've been a good dinosaur so far," Stegosaurus Claus told me; "You've eaten lots and lots of trees, and haven't intentionally killed anyone with your cool, spiky tail yet this year!" I was so proud. After the meeting I wanted to invite him for a nice meal of Pointsettia Bushes, but I was too shy.

"After I lost my bid for the Colorado Senate I consoled myself by eating a couple forests," said Stegosaurus. "Then I walked to Cuba to practice ballet at the Stegosaurus School of Dance, which was the dance of the month in November. I'm practicing for my gig as Count Drosselmeyer in Tschiakovski's The Nutcracker at New York's Radio City Music Hall in December.

I've also been helping the Cubans rebuild after Hurricane Paloma. The damage to the Stegosaurus School of Dance was minimal; I've done more damage to the School inadvertently while dancing the lindy hop, so we were lucky there. The Cubans are resilient and brave people.




Please be sure to come to New York in December and see me ballet! There are two performances:

December 13th 7:30pm; and December 14th 2:00pm.

As always, being practical I accept payment in trees.

From Havana, Cuba today Stegosaurus held a press confrence to express his profound sorrow at the extinction of his friend Michael Crichton.

"This is shocking news to me, a very sudden loss," said Stegosaurus "...The extinction of Michael Crichton is a loss to his family and friends, all of us who knew and loved him. I enjoyed working with him and Mr. Speilberg on Jurassic Park II, the movie and appearing in the first, original novel as well. Mr. Crichton will be deeply and sincerely missed by all of us. "

A Congresssaurus Stegosaurus Press Confrence November 4th, 2008.

9:09pm, MST, Denver, Colorado


"Thank you my friends and supporters. My name is Stegosaurus, and I am coming before you to night to concede regretfully that I will not be your representative in Congress as the 111th session opens. My worthy opponet, Mr. Ken Salazar has handily won the day, and I congratulate him, his campaign and his supporters. I urge you to support him and consider him a friend as he works for all of us who love the state of Colorado.

Right now my future involves retiring to my garden and becoming a farmer scientist," said Stegosaurus. " I have no ambition to govern men. It is a painful and thankless office.

I would sincerely hope that the issues I have raised in this campaign wil not be forgotten. If you have something you believe in, get involved with your representative. Get to know Mr. Salazar and make it happen. Giant leaps start with one step.

I should like to thank all of my supporters, those who contributed to my campaign financially and otherwise. Celebrity endorsements from Stephen Spielberg, Jane Fonda, Whoopi Goldberg, Barbara Striesand, and the late Issac Hayes.

I would like to thank Denny Klein, the inventor of HHO Technology, which will be the future of transportation in America, saving our environment as well as man and dinosaur alike.

I would like to thank my campaign manager Mary Katherine, who kept my finances straight and made sure I didn't eat everything in my campaign chest.

I want to thank my brother Triceratops, and my friend Hadrosaurus of the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus. Someday we may still work together.

Last of all, I want to thank you, my friends and supporters, grown ups and children who believed in my vision for a better Colorado.

To anyone else I've forgotten, I appreciate you too.. I hope I haven't but you know I have a brain the size of a walnut so please forgive me.

Thank you and good night. "

"I went to the polling place to cast my vote for Eugene Victor Debs," said Stegosaurus.

"I was surprised when I got there and discovered that he wasn't on the ballot! It must be a slight against working man and working dinosaur alike!!

I was so upset I was going to stomp on Fishburn Elementary forthrightly, but then the suddenly distressed Election Official pointed out some ferns. I love eating ferns."

Prehistoric Aged Reptile Found Breeding

National Public Radio Weekend Edition Sunday 10/26/2008

Andrea Seabrook: It's time again to talk with NPR's senior news analyst Daniel Schorr, and catch up on the week's events. Good morning, Dan.

Daniel Schorr: Good morning Andrea.

AS: Election Day is almost here, and everyone's talking about the Presidential Election. But let us turn to the Colorado Senate race. Stegosaurus' popularity has been at an all time high, and he seemed unstoppable until recently. Some damaging information has come to light. Can you elaborate?

DS: Yes, well it is unfortunate, but it seems that a pornographic movie from more than a year ago has been released starring Stegosaurus, and this seems to have severely hurt his standing with his party and the public. In August, 2007, on a visit to California, Stegosaurus visited with his friend Hugh Hefner, and it seems the Playboy magnate bankrolled this venture.

AS: Yes it seems to have hurt his standing with the ever important voting bloc known as the soccer moms. Let's listen to this clip of a Mrs. Stephanie Marie Ellis, soccer mom of Boulder.

Stephanie Marie Ellis: "Oh, its just terrible, terrible. I had put so much trust in Stegosaurus! He cares about alternative fuel sources and the environment, he loves children, and has a workable solution for the economic challenges facing Colorado and the entire Nation today. I was willing to look past his tree consumption, even.

But, but I can't tolerate the idea of him participating in such filth as a pornographic movie!

How immoral! We should expect more of our leaders. He should have known better ! What about the children who look up to him? What example does that send, I ask you? What !?!

Hugh Hefner bankrolled the film, and he's lived well, like a king with six unmarried women! Unmarried! Oh the humanity!

No wonder Sid and Marty Krofft didn't want Stegosaurus on Land of the Lost! They must have known! And to think I pitied that prehistoric pervert! I'm so ashamed!!"

AS: Wow, she seems upset, Dan. Do you think there is anything Stegosaurus can do to salvage his campaign?

DS: It's going to be tough for Stegosaurus to overcome this. His advisors will have to be on alert damage control. In the next few days we'll have to see if Stegosaurus, like Bill Clinton, is a comeback kid, or a fallen idol, the next Gary Hart.

AS: Who once represented Colorado.

DS: Yes, he did.

When the film came to light, Stegosaurus' polling numbers took quite a tumble. While he's fallen sharply in the polls, his opponent Ken Salazar has been wise in not even mentioning Stegosaurus in his speeches and sticking to his own platform. He may return to the senate after all. We shall have to wait and see.

AS: Yes, it will be interesting. Thank you, Dan. That's Daniel Schorr, senior news analyst, who joins us every week with his insight into the days' news.

DS: Thank you, Andrea.

On Sunday, October 5th, Stegosaurus held a press confrence to express his opinion of the recent economic situation and particularly of the recent bailout bill passed by the US Congress. Let's listen in...


Stegosaurus: Thank you. Next question, please. Mr. Mattioni, WVTF News.

Rick Mattioni: Yes, Mr. Stegosaurus. It is known that your opponet in the 2008 senate race, Mr. Ken Salazar backed, both times the recent bailout bill that assisted banking interests, but you opposed it. Why?

Stegosaurus: If I were in the Senate, I would not have voted for this bill, and I will tell you why. It seemed very simple to me. Not only was an unconstitutional bill rammed through Congress with very little debate, it was also something which will only be at best a temporary fix.... and will in the long term make things worse.

The bill was unconstitutional because no where in our laws is it allowed to use taxpayer dollars to aid special interest groups.

For example, The top CEOs of Lehman Brothers were making 173 million dollars a year. Now they have made mistakes by overspeculation and malinvestment, and should take responsibility for their incompetence regarding pecuniary matters. It is unreasonable and unconcionable that the taxpayer of America should be responsible for getting wreckless multimillionaires out of holes that they dug themselves into without thinking of the consequences.

Furthermore, the portion of the bill regarding taxes was written by the Senate and then returned to the House. This is unconstitutional, as all tax appopriations must begin in the House of Representatives, according to the law.

Plus the bailout will, as I have stated earlier, if it works at all only bring temporary confidence to American and foreign investors.

It is another effort in a long line of similar efforts by the shady characters at the Federal Reserve Bank to prop up a failing fiat currency which is only going to be devalued further in the longrun, increasing debt to our foreign investors.

The Federal Reserve continues engage in legal counterfeit, printing money out of nothing, increasing the supply of dollars. This, as should be obvious to understand, devalues what already was available, because so much is on the market. In time, it is a very real possibility that our foreign investors will stop taking our dollars, and then we'll be in trouble, because we owe in the trillions.

This bailout bill puts the burden of debt on the children of America and future generations yet unborn. It lowers the standard of living and increases the gap between rich and poor. It puts further strain on a middle class already crushed under the debt of other poor decisions made by the banking interests of the Country, taxing them not through tax laws written into the books, but through the silent tax which is a result of this increase in fiat currency: Hyperinflation. Hyperinflation is, as we know, what raises the cost of goods and services.

Now, what do I mean by fiat currency? fiat currency is something which is declared valuable by Government edict, but not backed by a commodity such as gold or silver. The US dollar became a fiat currency under the Franklin D. Roosevelt administration ( first term ), after May of 1933. The value of money was still set by gold, ( under the Bretton Woods Agreements, after World War II, ) but it was illegal for Americans to convert their dollars into gold.
The US dollar was removed entirely off the gold standard by Richard M. Nixon on August 15th, 1971, as a result of financial difficulties caused by the War in Vietnam. Since 1971, the US dollar has not been backed by anything of value, only the word of the Government.

Now, why do I think this bill is an ineffectual, bad piece of legislation? Because we have tried this before, and it does not work. We have historical precedence.

Let us look at the situation in the 1920's prior to the Great Depression, and the poor decisions that led to that difficult time in American History. The same mistakes were made then, which are being made now.

For example, the economic situation today, the fluctuations in the market seem to be very similar. We have recently experienced situations akin to June and December of 1928, and March and May of 1929.

As in those years, the President, and pro Federalist editorial writers try and reassure us that the fundamental bedrock of our economy will weather the storm; "It takes time for these things to work.", they say. But what did not work then will not magically work now. Why people can't see this is a mystery to me. Fed Chairman Bernanke on September 22nd told members of the Financial Services Committee that he agreed price fixing did not work in the 1930's. He said, "I actually agree with you that price fixing did not work in the 1930's," yet three days later he and Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, ( as well as the President ), are off touting the bailout bill as something that needs to be done.

Here is some advice from somebody with a brain the size of a walnut: Memo to the Administration AND Congress. Stop acting like someone with a brain the size of a walnut.

If you do not let the market adjust you will throw a one, two year recession into an extended DEPRESSION... just like we did in the 1930's. Propping up prices and cutting rates is only making things worse. Prices NEED to drop, and the artificial bubble will deflate eventually. Delaying the inevitable will only make things harder and weaken our currency, which is already in a precarious state, and has been for some time.

I recommend a return to commodity backed currency, in gold, or silver, or trees.

My further recommendation is to enact regulation and oversight over the Federal Reserve Bank and also the President's Working Group on Financial Markets. These people are the root cause of our problems today.

I can tell that we are in for some tough times ahead. I don't know about you, but I am going to start saving my ferns and rosebushes for the future, not to mention more trees.

Thank you, for taking the time to attend my press conference today

FACTS OF INTEREST:

Courtesy of Matthew Collins and the Center for Responsive Politics:

LIST OF LOBBYISTS WHO BOUGHT THE 2008 PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES:


Top 10 Corporate PAC Contributors:

Obama:

Goldman Sachs $739,521

UBS AG $419,550

Lehman Brothers $391,774

Citigroup Inc $492,548

Morgan Stanley $341,380

Latham & Watkins $328,879

Google Inc $487,355

JPMorgan Chase & Co $475,112

Sidley Austin LLP $370,916

Skadden, Arps et al $360,409

McCain:

Merrill Lynch $349,170

Citigroup Inc $287,801

Morgan Stanley $249,377

Wachovia Corp $147,456

Goldman Sachs $220,045

Lehman Brothers $115,707

Bear Stearns $108,000

JPMorgan Chase & Co $206,392

Bank of America $133,975

Credit Suisse Group $175,503



Sources: Rep. Dr. Ron Paul ( R) 14th TX : Speech "The End of Dollar Hegemony" February 15, 2006


The Center For Responsive Politics

Only Yesterday by Frederick Lewis Allen ( 1st printing Perennial Classics, 2000 )

Since Yesterday by Frederick Lewis Allen ( 7th printing Bantam Matrix, 1965 )

Other Useful links may be found here: The Bailout Reader: Ludwig Von Mises Institute

In a press conference held Sunday, October 5th, Congresssaurus Stegosaurus announced his endorsement of Eugene Victor Debs for President in 2008.

"I understand President Wilson let him out of prison recently," said Stegosaurus.
"I feel that the odds of Mr. Debs being successful this year are very, very good. Debs is my man, because he cares about the little guy, and I care about the little guy too.

Don't think that because I am big, I don't think about the plight of all the hard working mammals in America. I do. That is why I support Eugene Victor Debs for President in 2008. "

National Public Radio Weekend Edition Sunday 9/21/2008

Andrea Seabrook: We are here to discuss the week's political events with NPR's senior News Analyst Daniel Schorr. Good morning, Dan.

Daniel Schorr: Good morning, Andrea.

AS: Okay let's talk about the Stegosaurus phenomenon in Colorado. What seemed like an odd third party style fluke months ago has really taken off, and Senator Salazar is really challenged at this point. What do you think has made Stegosaurus so successful?

DS: Yes, Andrea this is a surprise. Stegosaurus has overcome the ridicule of the people who didn't take his canadacy seriously at the start. He's jumped the hurdles of some early mistakes in his campaign to capture a great cross section of Colorado's voting public. It's a particularly important voting bloc too, which is the fabled Soccer Moms. It might be the Soccer Moms' children having an influence, most likely. Maybe the novelty of a senator with a cool, spiky tail and spiff, sexy plates.

AS: Wow, and months ago we thought all he'd get was one per cent or less, and Ken Salazar would breeze easily back into the Senate. What did Stegosaurus do to endear himself to the Soccer Moms of Colorado?

DS: Well, I think it was when he decided to start saving trees instead of eating them. Stegosaurus went on a diet recently and has only eaten low fat pteridophytes for months, and a lot of trees have been saved. This repairs his reputation wth the base of his party, the Greens, and connects with the environmentally aware, socially concious Soccer Moms of Colorado. I understand Stegosaurus has lost half a ton. It's impressive.

AS: I remember we thought he was doomed early on in his campaign when he was photographed undertaking a clear cutting operation. What can Ken Salazar do? He seems to have an exemplary environmental record, and seniority. There has to be something else to the popularity of Stegosaurus. What can Salazar do ? Anything at this point?

DS: It is to Salazar's credit that he hasn't turned to mudslinging. We're seeing less negative attacks than we used to in the campaign for President this cycle, so perhaps politics has finally learned something: Negative attacks don't work like they used to, and being blatantly negative could be the nail in Salazar's political career if he's not careful. What he can do, I think, is Salazar can stick to his record, and point out his strengths... sticking to his own message could expose Stegosaurus' inexperience without being completely negative.

That is the path I think Salazar needs to take.

AS: Yet it could be that Stegosaurus will pull off a surprise and win. He could be the next Jesse Ventura.

DS: Yes, he might, Andrea. We'll have to wait and see.

AS: It will be quite interesting to see how it plays out in Colorado. Thanks, Dan. Always good to talk to you.

DS: Thank you, Andrea.

AS:NPR's senior news analyst, Daniel Schorr, with insight on the week's political events.

Stegosaurus held a press confrence earlier this week to express his profound sorrow at the extinction of his good friend Issac Hayes.

"Why it was barely a year ago I was in California and he helped to teach me some funky dance steps," said Stegosaurus. "I learned how to be cool from him, and he learned how to be cool from me. He was a good friend to me and will be missed terribly. "

"There is good news in other topics though," said Stegosaurus as he responded to a question.

"My diet is going very well. I've lost half a ton, with half a ton to go. My secret ? I think its those low fat Pteridophytes."

(click on the picture to see a larger image)

(click on the picture to see a larger image)

Stegosaurus recognizes that these are tough economic times. Use your Stegosaurus School of Dance coupon today!

One thing I have noticed since I started running for the Senate is that a lot of people care about what you think. I've been interviewed a lot since I declared my canadacy so its a good thing that I really enjoy being interviewed.


1. What started the Stegosaurus?

Well, I am told that my mother found me one day while she was eating a cabbage patch, but I never believed that.... I know how it works. A mommy Stegosaurus meets a daddy Stegosaurus and they like each other very much. Then, they get together and they wiggle a little bit. I know that's hard to believe; but that's the way it has happened for over 140 million years.

2. What are your hobbies?

Dancing the lindy hop, eating plants and roots, running for the senate, and world travel.
I also like sky diving, birdwatching, and gardening. I have diverse interests for someone with a brain the size of a walnut.

3. What are your favorite songs to sing and why don't you do it more?

Oh, I sing quite often, actually. Do you have a copy of my multi platinum wax cylinder Stegosaurus Goes Opera? I am particularly fond of Italian Opera. I like to sing Una Furtiva Lagrima and dedicate it to Marilyn Maxwell. When I get together with my cousins Kentrosaurus and Lexovissaurus we like to sing Brindisi Libiamo, libiamo, ne' lieti calici. Of course, Lexovissaurus is French, so while in France I sing a lot of French opera as well. I am also particular to Showtunes, and the Jazz of my native country.

4. Where are you from and where have you been?

I am from Colorado, USA, originally. I've travelled many places and been all over, but travel was a lot easier when there was only one continent.

5. Where are you going?

Hopefully in November to the US Senate ! Then I will join my brother Triceratops and my friend Parasauralophus in the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus. Together, we will work to better the lives of the people of Colorado and the entire United States. One of our primary objectives will be to try and convince the State of Arizona that it is time for them to stop procrastinating and choose a State Dinosaur.

I have recently been interviewed, and I love being interviewed. Here's the first of my two most recent interviews. It is always good for congressional candidates to stay in touch with their constituents, and I will do the best that I can to answer honestly.


1. Being that you're supposed to be dead and extinct... how do you really feel about all these plush homages to your image?
The likeness is reasonably accurate, though sometimes the colours are off. One thing's for sure they are definitely not to scale!

2. Do you really feel that your decaying corpse and ensuing conversion process is really worth me having to pay over $4/gallon?
Of course not ! Fossil Fuel is murder and extinction! As you know, I have held a press confrence supporting Mr. Denny Klein's HHO Technology. Save a dinosaur and walk. It's good for your cardiovascular system.

3. What was your personal hero?
My father, O.C. Marsh.

4. Do the Geico commercials give a true representation of the humans you were used to?
I do not understand this question; I only watch television when I am on it, or when Marilyn Maxwell movies are being shown.

5. Would you rather be able to breathe fire, eat meat, or fly?
I love birdwatching so much that I wish I could turn into a bird and fly away. But, that will probably never happen. Someday I'd like to go skydiving with my friend Ludwig Gantner.
Edgar Rice Burroughs let me glide in his novel, The Land That Time Forgot using my spiff sexy plates, but that is not really their function. I have no desire to eat meat, nor are my teeth
designed to consume it. I have had cameos in movies where dinosaurs breathe fire, and Sid and Marty Krofft let my friend Dimetrodon breathe fire in their show
Land of the Lost, but the ability to breathe fire seems to me to serve no useful purpose.


Incidentially, regarding Land of the Lost, I lobbied heavily to appear on that show, I went directly to Sid and Marty Krofft and represented myself. I told them I'd be perfect, that small children everywhere love me for some reason. They let my friend Brontosaurus on the show, before he had a midlife crisis and changed his name to Apatosaurus, They let my brothers Triceratops and Allosaurus on the show, but not me. No amount of begging and pleading would move their cold, cold hearts.

And now, a word from everyone's favorite cheese eating surrender - dinosaur, Lexovissaurus!
******************************

C'est moi, Lexovissaurus, et je suis ici pour passer en revue pour toi un travail symphonique par le compositeur américain Steven E. Brown. Ce travail s'appelle la « merveille d'O », et il est convenablement appelé, parce que c'est un morceau merveilleux et très plaisant à l'oreille.

Les trompettes à l'ouverture même sont réminiscences de la saison des amours d'un Apatosaurus. Je suis tout stupéfié que Mr. Brown à employer le son de la trompette pour imiter un bruit qui est si normal et très exquis.

En environ une minute, nous entendons quelques cordes très magnifiques, qui servent de musique très plaisante pour le dîner. C'est parfait pour un repas de conifères et de fromage.

À presque 3 minutes, l'interprétation symphonique remarquable de l'Apatosaurus joignant à une reprise, et à environ 3:47, l'orchestre peint une image réminiscence de l'ouest Nord-Américain, la terre natale de mon cousin Stegosaurus. Tout a fait expansible et stupéfiant. Personnellement, j'ai pensé que cette section était parfaite pour écouter, pendant que j'aiguille ma queue en épi, que je fais chaque matin avant mon petit déjeuner de rosiers et du fromage.

Les instruments de vent une fois utilisés sont utilisés très habilement. Je souhaite qu'ils aient été plus répandus. Il est clair à la fin que le morceau a été apprécié par les participants du concert. Personne n'a toussé, quelle merveille. Si je portais des chapeaux, je dirais, " chapeaux à tous messieurs, voici un génie, " mais moi je suis un Stegosaurid, et Stegosaurids ne portent pas des chapeaux.

Je suis ainsi enamouré par Mr Brown. Quelle compétence, je voudrais l'invité, lui et sa famille à dîner avec moi la prochaine fois qu'ils visitent la France. Je préparerai un dîner de cœur d'artichaut et des aubergines avec du fromage, de mon propre jardin personnel. Oui, j'apprécie ce merveilleux travail que la « merveille d'O » est, il serait encore meilleure s'il étaient français. C'est pourquoi que d'espère que Mr. Brown visitera et appréciera la France tellement qu'il voudra vivre ici et être mon compositeur personnel. S'il était d'accord je lui préparerais de la nourriture de mon jardin chaque jour avec du fromage.

Expert Village: How To Make A Balloon Stegosaurus : You Tube Video Behind This Link!

"Now for a Stegosaurus ... a cool dinosaur. This is going to be similar to the horse, we're just going to change a few things."

( embedding is extinct for this video )

My 140 million and 2nd birthday was June 1st, and do I feel great ! I don't feel a day over 17! What is funny is that people have been telling me that I actually look 17!! After all these years.....

A birthday party was held for me at the studios of WVTF public radio, where I recorded my double platinum wax cylinder Stegosaurus Goes Opera.

My cake was not as good as ferns in the early morning, but it had some nice flowers. The key to living a long time is to stay active, and I have been active for 140 million and two years. I'm a prime example of the health benefits of eating trees.

After a grand celebration I took a nice walk out to California where I was pleased to be honored with a lifetime achievement award granted by the Motion Picture Academy of Arts & Sciences. It was given to me to acknowledge my 140 million and two years success in playing extinct. How nice of them to notice me. I always try to be inconspicuous, but that's really hard when you're 9 feet tall and 30 feet long.

I was disappointed that Marilyn Maxwell had not yet returned from her USO tour; my dream is to someday actually meet her, but until then, as she says, It Doesn't Cost A Dime To Dream!

I was also very pleased to meet with my friends Issac Hayes and Stephen Spielberg, both of whom endrosed my run for the Colorado senate.

I also visited my friend Tony Bennett in San Francisco, who is still looking for his heart. I hope he finds it soon.

Yes, life has been absolutely delightful for 140 million and two years! I wonder what the next 140 million and two will bring?

National Public Radio, Sunday, May 18th. 2008. "Morning Edition":

Andrea Seabrook: We turn now to our senior news analyst Daniel Schorr, with some insight on the senate race in Colorado. What do you think, Dan, of the rise of Congressional candidate Stegosaurus?"

Daniel Schorr: Well, Andrea, Its amazing because he started off on such a bad foot, er, claw. He was really down in the polls, and it was more than his penchant for eating trees that was hurting him.

AS: Yes, the popular insult is for at least a senior Senator to be referred to as a dinosaur, and of course Stegosaurus is one.

DS: He is indeed. He is the epitome of big government, and has expressed some big government ideas, when he isn't too hungry and eats the paper they've been written on. As has been noted, Stegosaurus has a love of eating trees which makes him unpopular with the environmental wing of the Green Socialist Party. but his recent embrace of the alternative fuel HHO, invented by Denny Klein has given him a boost that really puts his candidacy in contention.

AS: It seems contradictory, but that's usual for a politician I think.

DS: It is this honesty, Andrea, I agree, that is connecting with the voters.

AS: Plus Stegosaurus is pulling in a lot of celebrity endorsements, such as Whoopi Goldberg, Barbara Striesand, and Jane Fonda.

DS: Yes, they are acting like small children! If small children could vote, the election would already be over. A guaranteed landslide for Stegosaurus. There are already some people looking at ways that the Senate Chamber of the Capitol building can be expanded to accomodate him.

AS: Wow, well, what do you think Ken Salazar can do to stand a chance in the election??

DS: Well, he needs to stick to his message, and his record. Ken Salazar is a very popular senator and he could well pull ahead of Stegosaurus before the election even happens. He has a record to stand on. All Stegosaurus has is some spiff plates and a cool spiky tail.

AS: All right. That's NPR's senior news analyst Daniel Schorr, who joins us for analysis of the days' events. Thanks, Dan!

DS:Thank you, Andrea.

" I have been in Colorado lately shaking claws for my senate campaign, and the campaign is going very well. Picking up lots of momentum. But, I am very sad today. I did something I wish I didn't do, and I am very sad." said Stegosaurus.

"I had been corresponding for the last several months with a fellow from Kansas named The Flying Spaghetti Monster. He seemed like such a nice guy. Finally this afternoon, we agreed to meet for lunch. He travelled all the way from Kansas to Colorado at great expense. We hit it off really well at first, but you know my appetite .... HE was lunch.

Well, I didn't mean to, but I ate him.... all of him... except the part of him that was made out of meat-balls, I tried them but they didn't taste good. Overall he was delicious, but rather starchy and bad for my diet. Now I am so sad because he was such a good friend to me and he's gone forever.


*sigh*

Today Stegosaurus announces the release of his widely heralded and long awaited excercise video, Exercise with Stegosaurus.

"About a month ago I realized that I had gained some weight," said Stegosaurus. "I guess I had done too well on 2007's New Years' Resolution, because I'm about one ton overweight. I'd like to lose about one ton.

To help myself and others in my situation I have recorded an exercise video, Exercise with Stegosaurus, which is especially designed for those of us with cool spiky tails.

I'm not leaving the mammals out, I want to assure you. This video will benefit everyone regardless of species. It's just that there will be a special focus on healthy cool spiky tails. "

Stegosaurus announces a new friend, and scientific discoveries:

A Norwegian pliosaur

An update on the mummified Hadrosaur

Utah crater mystery solved !!

Stegosaurus encourages you to make the most of your produce !

"I'm visiting Africa at the request of my cousin Kentrosaurus," said Stegosaurus.

"His friend Nigersaurus wants some advice on landscaping and gardening because he wants to help feed his starving countrymen, even the mammals. I brought him an autographed copy of my New York Times best seller Gardening Tips With Stegosaurus. There is a little bit of difficulty since while Nigersaurus has a cool tail which is even longer than mine, it is not spiky. Because of that its harder for him to plow, but we'll find a way to work around that. He does have an advantage in harvesting that I do not with a shovel-shaped head and rows of rotating teeth.



I've just arrived yesterday, and all three of us are looking to have a great time planting gardens and eating them too. I like helping my fellow dinosaurs.

Congresssaurus Stegosaurus has been In Boulder, Colorado since February 1st shaking claws and looking for votes. He held a press confrence today to announce his backing for Denny Klein's HHO technology.




In a prepared statement with Mr. Klein standing beside him, Congresssaurus Stegosaurus said,

"I believe in the investement of alternative fuels, because even with a brain the size of a walnut I know that fossil fuel means extinction ! Not only extinction for dinosaurs, but extinction for the homo sapiens who fight for it in wars.

When it all comes down to it, I think a lot of money and lives could be saved if people just walked everywhere like I do. But, I understand that homo sapiens love their cars, and a good Congresssaurus represents all the people, not just his fellow dinosaurs. Therefore I pledge that if you elect me as your Congresssaurus I will work on a State Environmental Committee which will push for the fiduciary resources to invest large amounts of Federal money into this alternative fuel system.

Remember : fossil fuel is extinction ! Please vote Stegosaurus 2008 !"

A great cheer rose from the gathered populace.

Then, Mr. Klein spoke : " I enthusiastically look forward to expanding the use and knowledge of my HHO technology to the US and the rest of the world. With the influential backing of candidate Congresssaurus Stegosaurus I am sure we can save the lives of American soldiers and dinosaurs alike. Thank you. "

Hydrogen Technology Applications Incorporated

Stegosaurus announces the discovery of new friends ! :

Nemicolopterus

A pterosaur

Eocarchia and Kryptops

abelisaurids

Velafrons coahuilensis

A hadrosaur

After more than a year of extensive research in the field, the following 8 points of similarity between Stegosaurus and equus caballus, ( the horse ) have been observed.

1. Stegosaurus is a herbivore, horses are herbivores.
2. Stegosaurus is quadropedal, horses are quadropedal.
3. Stegosaurids can stand on their hind legs for brief periods of time;
horses can stand on their hind legs for brief periods of time.
4. Stegosaurus has a tail; horses have tails.
5. Stegosaurus' head is the same size as a horse's head.
6. O.C. Marsh, who discovered Stegosaurus, also discovered several
varieties of prehistoric horse... including the Hyracotherium.
7. Stegosaurus is a herd animal; horses are also herd animals.
8. Stegosaurus is beautiful when grazing; horses are beautiful when grazing.

From now thru February 15th,Square Dance lessons ( the official dance of Colorado ) are half off at any and all locations of the Stegosaurus School of Dance !

Stegosaurus accepts payment in trees.

Insect Attack May Have Finished Off Dinosaurs