WALKING WITH DINOSAURS!

The Must-See Theatrical Event For All Ages!

WVTF and Radio IQ are offering a chance to win free tickets to this event for those who subscribe to our e-Newsletter. Each of the eight winners will receive four tickets to see Walking with Dinosaurs at the Roanoke Civic Center. If you have already signed up for our e-Newsletter, you are in the running to win.

Enter to win four tickets to the Roanoke Civic Center for Walking with Dinosaurs. Join now!!

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After years of planning, the award-winning BBC TV series, Walking with Dinosaurs comes to life in a stunning theatrical event.

Internationally renowned designers have worked with scientists to create 15 life-size dinosaurs, including the terror of the ancient terrain, Tyrannosaurus-rex! Be amazed and thrilled as the greatest creatures ever to walk the earth return before your eyes.

It’s a dazzling 10 million pound arena spectacle of unprecedented size and quality set to captivate young and old alike. Marvel at the story of their 200 million year domination of life on earth. Watch them walk. Hear the roar. Be there as they fight for survival and supremacy. From the ripple of their skin to the glint in their eye, you will know the dinosaurs really have returned! So make sure you have your seat to see the return of the dinosaurs!

Dates: 8th - 10th January 2010

Performance times:
Friday, 8th - 7pm
Saturday, 9th - 11am / 3pm / 7pm
Sunday, 10th - 1pm / 5pm

For tickets and additional information , click here: ON SALE NOW!

Contact: 1800-856-8900

WVTF PUBLIC RADIO FM

ACT NOW FOR HOLIDAY CHEER THIS YEAR !!! BUY STEGOSAURUS' NEWEST WAX CYLINDER: CHRISTMAS B.C. !!!


FEATURING THESE HOLIDAY FAVORITES WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE:

1. O' Christmas Tree ( english )
2. O' Tannenbaum ( german )
3. O' Fir Tree Dark
4. Is Christmas Only A Tree?
5. Round & Round The Christmas Tree
6. Round Round The Christmas Tree
7. Rockin' Round The Christmas Tree
8. Aspenglow
9. The Cherry Tree Carol
10. It Doesn't Cost A Dime To Dream ( With Renee Fleming )
11. Silver Bells ( With Renee Fleming)

"I've finally recovered from my stomachache!" declared Stegosaurus happily. "It was an embarrassing mistake for someone with a degree in Horticulture Consumption, but I've learned the hard way not to eat another Lyonia ferruginea any time soon! Right now I'm in New York working with Ms. Renee Fleming on promotional spots for my latest wax cylinder, which I hope will give you and your family many wonderful memories you will treasure for millions of years. Then in a day or two I am returning to Cuba so I can spend the holidays at my School of Dance. Rhedosaurus has been patiently waiting there for waltzing lessons.

In the new year I'll stomp forthrightly into Virginia so I can take part in the Walking With Dinosaurs Tour!

All my best friends will be there! Will you?"

Stegosaurus Claus' Great North American Holiday Mall Tour 2009

Be good girls and boys, and perhaps Stegosaurus Claus will visit your house on Christmas Eve to leave you presents!!

Check to see when the jolly ornithischian Stegosaurus Stenops is visiting your town!!

A highlight list of the places on the itenerary!



Flat Iron Crossing, Boulder, Colorado

Fashion Show Mall, Las Vegas, Nevada

Westfield San Francisco Centre, San Francisco, California

Lloyd Center Mall, Portland, Oregon

Corncord Mills, Concord, North Carolina

Fayette Mall, Lexington, Kentucky

Valley View Mall, Roanoke, Virginia

Pheasant Lane Mall, Nashua, New Hampshire

The Mall of New London, New London, Connecticut

Arundel Mills, Hanover, Maryland

Westfield Annapolis Shopping Town, Annapolis, Maryland




And that's not all! Keep an eye on announcements to be made in your town!!


Season's Greetings to you and your family!!

"Oh, my aching stomach!" complained Stegosaurus. "It seems that while looking for the Franklinia alatamaha my appetite, as it usually does, got the better of me and I accidentially ate a Lyonia ferruginea. I am now quite under the weather, and Rhedosaurus is going to have to be patient and wait for his waltzing lessons. I hope he understands, as he is already in Cuba waiting for me. Maybe he can relax and smoke cigars with Raoul and Fidel until I can get down to my School of Dance.

If any one would like to send get well wishes to my email address I'd really appreciate it!"

Ray Harryhausen's NEW Official Website!

"The fall college semester has been keeping me busy and away from my blog," said Stegosaurus. "Upon my return from Colorado I met up with my class and we stomped up to Maine to identify and eat the Chionanthus virginicus, and then on down to Florida where we will look to see if we can find the elusive Franklinia alatamaha which hasn't been seen in the wild since 1790. Seems like only yesterday to me, but for mammals that is a long time."

"While in Maine I recieved a letter from my friend Rhedosaurus, whom I last saw this summer in London at Ray Harryhausen's 89th birthday party. Rhedosaurus said he'd like to get out some and meet a few girl Rhedosaurids before he becomes extinct. 'Lighthouses just aren't doing it for me anymore,' he says ...

"Alas, he is socially awkward and shy.. I told him that dancing is a useful skill for flirting with the ladies, and offered to give him waltzing lessons if he'd go on down to Cuba and meet me after the Thanksgiving break. He agreed, so for the rest of the month, Waltzing lessons will be half off at the Stegosaurus School of Dance!"

"Hey dude, I'm gonna turn my car into a Stegosaurus!"

"Ya, absolutely. I honestly can't think of anything else to spend your money on. Probably one of the best investments you can make actually. You're gonna get so much tail in that thing."

Missouri

Paleontologists Discover Skeleton Of Nature’s First Sexual Predator

Even Tyrannosaurus Rex Started Small

Moa Birds II: The Return of Big Bird

"Having finally completed my 300 page essay on the Alnus Maritima, I've left Oklahoma and am now in my home state of Colorado engaging in a bit of small business enterprise," said Stegosaurus.

"Today I have founded The Stegosaurus Construction Company.

I know with the financial markets the way they are today it does not seem like now is the time to go into the construction business, but I can guarantee you that you will have a job with my company! This is provided that you do not mind your boss having a cool, spiky tail! "

"Our motto: ROOFING IS OUR SPECIALTY !"

As always, Stegosaurus accepts payment in trees.

"Actually, school keeps me quite busy," continued the loquatious roof - lizard. "When I leave Colorado I have to go to Maine and study the Chionanthus virginicus, and then I have to stomp down to Florida and see if my class and I can find the elusive Franklinia alatamaha. This is all in addition to my job as Hokie Bird protector, and its that time of season again! It seems the life of a Stegosaurus is always busy !"

J’ai rencontré la plus belle Stégosaures! Elle s’appelle Loricatosaurus et elle est aussi belle quelle est intelligente. Elle est sexé, la plus sexy de toutes celles que j’ai vues. Elle admire beaucoup mes épatantes sexy plaques! Elles pensent qu’ils sont les plus attrayantes qu’elle a jamais vues. Oh ! Et est-ce que j’ai mentionné, elle aime le fromage ! Quelle perfection!

Nous nous sommes rencontrés à l’Opéra. Je vous le dit, ce n’était pas une Opéra Française vraiment, mais c’était Gaetano Donizetti L'elisir d'amore, qui était très approprié. Elle était sur le balcon et a vue mes épatantes sexy plaques de l’autre côté du théâtre. Je sais que c’était l’amour au premier regard. Elle est descendue du balcon pour me parler et pour ce présenté, quand je l’ai vue je suis tombé en amour, immédiatement.

Je me demandais comment elle pourrait être intéressé à moi, avec la sature et condition de vie quelle vivait ; mais quand j’y pense, c’est facilement expliqué par le fait que je suis Français.

Et depuis ce temps nous avons fait tout ensemble. Nous aimons les fougères et conifères avec du fromage (J’essais de lui trouvé les plus grosses), des marches, par la lumière de la lune, près de la Seine. Nous lisons Guillaume de Machaut, Charles Baudelaire,  Arthur Rimbaud, Gustave Flaubert et Victor Hugo; quand nous avons des sentiments amoureux.... nous lisons Pierre Choderlos de Laclos. Nous aimons écouter Fréderic Chopin, Gabriel Faure, et Maurice Duruflé. Oh ! Nous avons beaucoup en commun c’est stupéfiant. Elle s’exprime clairement et aisément. J’ai hâte de la présenter à mes cousins!

Triple Fossil Find Puts Australia Back On The Dinosaur Map

"My visit to London was very pleasant," said Stegosaurus. It was nice to see my friend Ray Harryhausen and to help him celebrate his 89th birthday. How nice of him to tell me how beautiful I am! He also remarked that since my successful diet my legs no longer look like sausages!! The plate - lift and pedicure I got for my birthday a few years ago really paid off ! My cousins will be so pleased!"

"I'm back in the States at last, now in Oklahoma. School has started again and my class and I have to write a 300 page essay on the theories surrounding the existence of the Alnus Maritima in this area. I haven't yet figured out how this type of tree got to growing here, but nonetheless they are very pleasing to the palate."

Today Wuerhosaurus' junk boat arrived from China. He had come to Louisville, Kentucky for the Stegosaurus Races. Realizing that he was a bit late for the races, he stomped on over to Lexington, having heard rumors of a delicious arboretum nearby. He had heard it said that the mammals of Lexington were very friendly and cordial.

The city authorities, however, asked him to leave when he attempted sunbathing in the historic city cemetery.

My birdwatching vacation in New Zealand was very nice," said Stegosaurus. "The Giant Moas and I had some great times. Now I'm updating my blog on my laptop while I'm on a raft. It's just a short trip to London to help my friend Ray Harryhausen celebrate his 89th birthday on June 29th.

July 6th I'll be back in the States for the start of the summer semester.

Earlier today I got an email from my Nigerian cousin Kentrosaurus:

REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR STRICTEST CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND 'TOP SECRET'. I AM SURE AND HAVE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR ABILITY AND RELIABILITY TO PROSECUTE A TRANSACTION OF THIS GREAT MAGNITUDE INVOLVING A PENDING TRANSACTION REQUIRING MAXIIMUM CONFIDENCE.

WE ARE TOP OFFICIAL OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL WHO ARE INTERESTED IN IMPORATION OF GOODS INTO OUR COUNTRY WITH FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN NIGERIA. IN ORDER TO COMMENCE THIS BUSINESS WE SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE TO ENABLE US TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT THE SAID TRAPPED FUNDS.

THE SOURCE OF THIS FUND IS AS FOLLOWS; DURING THE LAST MILITARY REGIME HERE IN NIGERIA, THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS SET UP COMPANIES AND AWARDED THEMSELVES CONTRACTS WHICH WERE GROSSLY OVER-INVOICED IN VARIOUS MINISTRIES. THE PRESENT CIVILIAN GOVERNMENT SET UP A CONTRACT REVIEW PANEL AND WE HAVE IDENTIFIED A LOT OF INFLATED CONTRACT FUNDS WHICH ARE PRESENTLY FLOATING IN THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA READY FOR PAYMENT.

HOWEVER, BY VIRTUE OF OUR POSITION AS CIVIL SERVANTS AND MEMBERS OF THIS PANEL, WE CANNOT ACQUIRE THIS MONEY IN OUR NAMES. I HAVE THEREFORE, BEEN DELEGATED AS A MATTER OF TRUST BY MY COLLEAGUES OF THE PANEL TO LOOK FOR AN OVERSEAS PARTNER INTO WHOSE ACCOUNT WE WOULD TRANSFER THE SUM OF US$21,320,000.00(TWENTY ONE MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND U.S DOLLARS). HENCE WE ARE WRITING YOU THIS LETTER. WE HAVE AGREED TO SHARE THE MONEY THUS; 1. 20% FOR THE ACCOUNT OWNER 2. 70% FOR US (THE OFFICIALS) 3. 10% TO BE USED IN SETTLING TAXATION AND ALL LOCAL AND FOREIGN EXPENSES. IT IS FROM THE 70% THAT WE WISH TO COMMENCE THE IMPORTATION BUSINESS.

PLEASE,NOTE THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% SAFE AND WE HOPE TO COMMENCE THE TRANSFER LATEST SEVEN (7) BANKING DAYS FROM THE DATE OF THE RECEIPT OF THE FOLLOWING INFORMATIOM BY TEL/FAX; 234-1-7740449, YOUR COMPANY'S SIGNED, AND STAMPED LETTERHEAD PAPER THE ABOVE INFORMATION WILL ENABLE US WRITE LETTERS OF CLAIM AND JOB DESCRIPTION RESPECTIVELY. THIS WAY WE WILL USE YOUR COMPANY'S NAME TO APPLY FOR PAYMENT AND RE-AWARD THE CONTRACT IN YOUR COMPANY'S NAME.

WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO DOING THIS BUSINESS WITH YOU AND SOLICIT YOUR CONFIDENTIALITY IN THIS TRANSATION. PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF THIS LETTER USING THE ABOVE TEL/FAX NUMBERS. I WILL SEND YOU DETAILED INFORMATION OF THIS PENDING PROJECT WHEN I HAVE HEARD FROM YOU.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

DR CLEMENT OKON

NOTE; PLEASE QUOTE THIS REFERENCE NUMBER (VE/S/09/99) IN ALL YOUR RESPONSES.

" It looks like he's trying to supplement his military pension again," said Stegosaurus. "He's my cousin and I love him, but Kentrosaurus can sometimes be a real con artist!!"


****************
Yes, this is a joke. For more information on the "Nigerian / 419 Scam visit snopes.com here

From that website here's an important note from Barbara Mikkelson:

The Secret Service asks if you have been victimized by the Nigerian scam to forward appropriate written documentation to the United States Secret Service, Financial Crimes Division, 950 H Street, NW, Washington, D.C. 20223, or telephone (202) 406-5850, or contact by e-mail. Per their automated response system, they no longer want faxed copies of the various Nigerian scams.

However, it needs be pointed out there is only so much the Secret Service or any law enforcement agency can do if the perpetrators of the scam are not within their jurisdiction. Your local police department cannot send officers to Nigeria to arrest the fellows who are attempting to con you out of your life savings any more than Nigerian police could show up on your doorstep to put the handcuffs on you.

Folks angered by Nigerian scam come-ons often want to see justice done and done quickly, yet often there is little that can be done because those behind the thefts are in other parts of the world. Ergo, the best protection is an awareness that the laws of your country are not always enforceable in other lands, so it behooves to you always proceed with caution when dealing with people or business entities in foreign locales.

Barbara "fraud gods" Mikkelson

" After celebrating my 140 million and third birthday in Spain and cutting the ribbon on the Stegosaurus School of Dance there, I stomped on down to New Zealand to spend the rest of my college break birdwatching for The Giant Moa and / or Haast's Eagles," said Stegosaurus. After relaxing it will be time to return to The States for my second semester of college."

"My first semester of college is over!" announced Stegosaurus. "To celebrate I've taken some time off and stomped on over to Spain, where the biggest Stegosaurus footprint has been found. You see that was before my diet.

I am building a branch of the Stegosaurus School of Dance here, so I'll be in Spain for a while. To mark this occasion, Flamenco dancing will be half off for the month of May.


Also, to honor my friend Frankie "Musclehead" Manning who became extinct on April 28th, all Lindy Hop dance lessons are half off as well. It is a shame that mammals become extinct so young; he was only 94. "

The Stegosaurus Races

Mark Johnson: "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Stegosaurus Races at Church hill downs, in Louisville, Kentucky We welcome you to this storied event, millions of years older than another race held here which involves horses, to watch Stegosaurus and his cousins race at Church hill downs. We have at the starting gate, the large, lovable Mr. Stegosaurus of Colorado, USA, Kentrosaurus of Kenya, Africa; Stegosaurus Claus of Brazil, and Lexovissaurus of France. We inform you with much regret that Wuerhosaurus of China had intended to participate, but he is coming by slow boat, which being aptly named has yet to arrive. The Stegosaurids wait at the gate for the race to begin."

In the growing crowd of race attendees milling about waiting for the Kentucky Derby ( involving horses ) to begin, was a Mr. Herring and a Ms. Scott leading their cat, Na Nyuk Fish, on a leash. None of the people in the crowd seemed to be looking at the racing field of Stegosaurids; as they were all too busy standing around drinking Mint Juleps and talking about horse bloodlines and horse sperm, two very popular topics which precede any horse race. This was not the case for Mr. Herring.

Mark Johnson: "And, they're off! ..... Stegosaurus at first in the lead, Kentrosaurus at the outside, Stegosaurus Claus and Lexovissaurus bringing up the rear. Aren't they odd, ladies and gentlemen, watching them race about the track.... and what a thunderous commmotion it causes! At the first turn now, Kentrosaurus takes the lead, Stegosaurus now in second place. Lexovissaurus keeping good pace beside Stegosaurus Claus. This is a sight that has to be seen to be believed. "

"Look!" exclaims Mr. Herring, pointing out to the track just as the racing dinosaurs turn the corner. "Stegosaurus! Stegosaurus on the track!"

Ms. Scott looks but sees nothing. " I think you've had too many Mint Juleps," rejoined Mr. Herring's interlocutoress.

Mark Johnson: "And we're now in the home stretch! Lexovissaurus is picking up his pace, leaving Stegosuarus Claus in the dust! Kentrosaurus is barely in the lead, with Stegosaurus falling firmly into the second position! Here comes Lexovissaurus now ladies and gentlemen! Really picking up speed! And its Lexovissaurus by a nose / beak, with Kentrosaurus in second place, Stegosaurus is third, and Stegosaurus Claus fourth. That's it, ladies and gentlemen, Lexovissaurus of France is the winner!
So félicitations to Lexovissaurus of France!"


Stegosaurus Races Press Confrence, May 2nd 2009 Church hill downs, Louisville, KY


Stegosaurus: My cousins and I have called this press confrence today to express our joy at attending the annual Stegosaurus races yet again, and to set the record straight regarding a misconception.

Please welcome to our press conference today in addtion to myself my cousin Kentrosaurus, of Africa, my cousin Lexovissaurus, of France and our friend and benefactor who has come from Brazil, Stegosaurus Claus. It was very nice of him to take time out of his busy schedule of making toys for all the good boys and girls of the world to speak with us today.

We regret to tell you that our cousin Wuerhosaurus of China wanted to be here but he is not. He wanted to race, but left China by a slow boat which has yet to arrive.

collective sigh of regret from the audience.

Kentrosaurus: Thank you for attending today.

Lexovissaurus : Je suis heureux d’être ici aujourd’hui.

Stegosaurus Claus: I'm glad to be here as well. I might have left Brazil, but I'm still making a list and checking it twice, even now. So, be good!

Stegosaurus: The first statement we'd like to make is that we sure have enjoyed racing today, We can race pretty fast for such awkward creatures goodness knows, especially Lexovissaurus who won the race.... but we'd all like to make a joint statement that even though we have 8 points of similarity with our good brother horse and we are easily confused with him....

Kentrosaurus: The similarity is very striking. If we're grazing in a field together its very hard to tell us apart. I invited our sister Quagga over for Christmas, and our neighbors were totally confused.

Stegosaurus: .... yes, and even though some places in these parts like to think so we'd all like to release a joint statement that, unlike our brother horse, we have never ever, worn saddles of any type. Not western, not english, not australian... none at all.

Lexovissaurus: Absolument aucun ne me convient. Je n’ai jamais porté de selles. Jamais. Je ne suis pas comme mon Cousin Américain, je n’ai pas beaucoup d’épatantes sexy plaques et je ne veux pas les couvrir avec un inconfortable truc fait de peaux mammifères. J’ai déjà fait une observation de ceci, c’est que pas seulement ne portons-nous de selles, nous les Stégosaures ne portons pas de chapeaux. Pas jamais, pas du tout .....

Kentrosaurus pokes Lexovissaurus... Um, cousin... don't look now, but, well, we have a Stegosaurid with us....

Stegosaurus Claus: ...who happens to be an exception to the norm. You can't help but notice, Lexovissarus, that I always wear hats.

Lexovissaurus: blushing ... Je veux avoir des cadeaux pour Noël, alors, je reconnais mon erreur. Je reconnais mon erreur. Et j’aimerais aussi aujourd’hui dire que je suis fier d’avoir gagné la course, de cette ancienne tradition qui est répéter depuis plus de 160 millions d’années. Merci pour vos applaudissements et vos félicitations. Hourra pour la France ! J’aimerais faire don de mes gains de la course aujourd’hui à Bethlehem Farms, pas long d’ici à Lexington. Cela va les aider à fournir des soins pour les chevaux de mon frère qui ont eu de la malchance.


crowd applause.

Stegosaurus: Thank you, thank you all. Now if the press will excuse us, as grass is one of the finest new inventions of our modern age, we must go forthwith to trim the lawn at the Ashland estate in Lexington; and I understand that there is a very big arboretum nearby there which looks very delicious.
If you will, please excuse us....

Stegosaurus Claus: Thank you for coming to our races today. I'll see you Christmas Eve, if you all are good!

Kentrosaurus: I was very pleased to take part in the races today. Thank you for attending.

Lexovissaurus: Je vous remercie tous pour être venu. Maintenant je ne c’est pas ce que vous allez faire, mais moi je vais avoir du fromage avec mon pâturin ......

"After my class and I unsuccessfully tried to topple a Sequoiadendron giganteum ( they were just too tall, even for four of us. ) We left California and all stomped up into Canada to dine on some pinus contorta and to visit with my Canadian friend Styracosaurus," said Stegosaurus.

"We celebrated the holiday sacred to herbivorous dinosaurs everywhere: Arbor Day. Though he was glad to see me, Styracosaurus chastised me for missing out on the annual King Kong Dinosaur Cast Reunion this year. There's no doubt about it....! The life of a Stegosaurus, ( especially if he's in graduate school. ) is very busy indeed."

Fossil Hints At Fuzzy Dinosaurus

A Simple Method For Determining The Sex Of Your Pet Stegosaurus

Are you confused about the sex of your pet Stegosaurus?

Well there is an easy method to use for determination that works at least 50 % of the time.

Watch the movie Champion with your pet Stegosaurus.

If your Stegosaurus swoons over Marilyn Maxwell, its a boy.

If your Stegosaurus swoons over Kirk Douglas, its a girl.

If your Stegosaurus swoons over both of these celebrites there is a good chance that your Stegosaurus is bisexual.

Determining homosexuality in Stegosaurids is much more difficult because as a general rule they believe in the don't ask don't tell policy.

This method works 50% of the time, since a majority of Stegosaurids are easily enamoured with celebrity pop culture. Once this happens, it is difficult ( but not impossible ) to get them interested in their own species again.


Good luck!

"I've been out in California studying trees of the Pacific Coast for college," said Stegosaurus. Wonderful pines, like pinus abicaulis, pinus aristata, and pinus pungens. Not to mention the delicious Pinyons...

Since I've become an arborist I've really come to care about trees not just because they are delicious but because they are unique and beautiful in their own way.

It is on this principle that I've decided I can no longer eat any of the Ginkgoaceae, or the Juglandaceae.

This is a decision which disturbs my poor cousin Lexovissaurus, who when he heard of my decision wrote to say,

"Que-es-ce que tu as?!? Premièrement tu es tombé en amour avec la mammifère Marilyn Maxwell et tu ne considère pas avoir un rendez-vous avec une de ton espèce, et maintenant tu ne veux pas manger certain arbres!?!
Les arbres Ginko sont délicieux, et ils y ont toujours été! Pourquoi tu te réveillerais un matin et décide de ne pas les manger parce que cette espèce d’arbre était là avant que tu laisse ta coquille , c’est au-delà de ma compréhension! J’admets, que ma compréhension est limité, mais qu’en même …… et des noyers! Et que-ce qu’il y a de mal avec des noyers?!! Ils sont délicieux même sans du fromage! Je jure, si tu n’étais pas mon cousin je te frapperais sur la tête avec ma cool, tranchante queue! Cela pourrait mettre du bon sens dans ta tête!"

48 New Dinosaur Species Discovered By UK Scientist

"I have been quite busy in my first semester of graduate school," said Stegosaurus. "It's been tough. My first test was on conifers, and I got nervous and overconfident...I thought I'd do a lot better because I've been eating conifers since I came out of my shell...but I got so nervous that I confused the Eastern White Pine ( pinus strobus) and an introduced species, the Austrian Pine, or ( pinus nigra ). It was very embarrassing. My research was faulty, even after more than 140 million years.

Also, my class went on a field trip to identify some gymnosperms, and we identified the Ginko biloba from the Ginkgoaceae ;

Many thought they were delicious, and in my youth I remember them as being quite so; but these days I can't eat them out of principle. I have a lot of respect for a tree species 10 million years older than I am."

At 2,500 Pounds And 43 Feet, Prehistoric Snake Is Largest On Record

Stegosaurus held a press confrence on Wednesday to announce his endorsement of the Fabri-Kal company. "I have started my second job as an arborist," said Stegosaurus. "....and as a steward of the environment I feel it is important to endorse those corporate entities who share my vision of a clean and green America. I am proud to endorse the Fabri-Kal company for its commitment to environmentally concious products that help reduce waste and preserve trees for future generations of Americans to enjoy and for future generations of hungry Stegosaurids to eat."

"My New Year's resolution for 2008 was successful!" exclaimed Stegosaurus happily. "I've lost the last half ton! I feel great! I'm a fit and trim 6,800 tons now! Just where I want to be!"

"The economic situation in the country today has caused me to look at going to medical school," Stegosaurus continued. "It's hard for a Stegosaurus to make a living just in Horticulture Consumption or Hokie Bird Protecting so I am looking to expand my horizons at the Asplundh Tree Management Services Company. Wish me luck!