Bonjour, je m’appelle Lexovissaurus!

Lorsque j’ai entendu parler que mon cousin Stégosaurus allait faire venir la production du Nutcracker de l’École de Dance de Stégosaurus à Londres durant les fêtes, j’ai dit à ma jolie épouse Loricatosaurus que nous devions aller voir cette production et nous devions passer les fêtes à Londres. Elle était d’accord parce qu’elle était déjà là à Oxford, étudiant pour ses examens pour le semestre. Croyez-le ou non, c’était la première fois que nous avions vu Stégosaurus dans sa production annuelle de cette charmante fable des fêtes. Mon cousin Américain a vraiment fait du rôle de Count Drosselmeyer, son rôle personnel. Il est devenu un expert de bonne grâce à travers les années en faisant pars de cette annuelle production durant beaucoup d’années.

Loricatosaurus a vraiment aimé la perruque de Stégosaurus et elle essaie de me convaincre d’en acheter une pour moi-même. J’hésite à cette proposition, mais je vais y penser de plus. Loricatosaurus est très convaincante.

Après nous avons rencontré Stégosaurus et son entourage pour un délicieux bol de Smoking Bishop et un bon repas de marronniers. Le Smoking Bishop est une tradition à Oxford depuis le début du 19ème siècle, et ceci est de longue date pour les mammifères. Le matin suivant nous avons tous regretter d’avoir bu tant de Bishop, et l’entourage de mammifères du Nutcracker qui a fait le breuvage pour nous nous a envoyé leur excuses, en disant qu’ils avaient oublié de justifier pour nos petits cerveaux ; lorsqu’ils ont préparé le breuvage pour nous. Ils sont pardonnés, mais mon épouse et moi ainsi que Stégosaurus, nous allons nous abstenir de cette tradition d’Oxford à l’avenir.

La veille de Noël nous avions recouvert en tant pour recevoir la visite de Kentrosaurus. Nous avons passé une très belle soirée, parce que Spinosaurus cette année voyageait avec Père Noël Stégosaurus, il n’était pas avec nous pour le repas et nous étions moins nerveux que les années précédentes. Kentrosaurus avec joie a déclaré les mots de Charles Dickens un vrai manifeste, que c’était le temps où la cité et même le monde entier " ....... acceptait d’ouvrir librement leur cœur qui était fermé, et de penser l’un à l’autre et pas à la race de créatures destiné aux autres parcours."

"Que Dieu nous bénisse tous!" déclara Stégosaurus.

"Hi, my name is Stegosaurus Claus!" said Stegosaurus Claus.

"Yes, it is that time of year again, when I leave my cozy workshop in Brazil to bring toys to all the good little girls and boys of the world! I've been watching the news lately, and decided that I might need a companion to protect me from any troublemakers I might encounter on my long journey around the world. After careful consideration, I took a stop by Nigeria and picked up Spinosaurus, who agreed to accompany me in case I should discover any children who have been very naughty this year."

"Hi, my name is Spinosaurus!" said Spinosaurus. "You had better be nice and bring peace and goodwill to all the earth, otherwise I will surely eat you alive in one bite! Don't think that you can hide in the water either! Now that science has determined I can swim, I'm even more dangerous..."

"Wait, wait, wait," said Stegosaurus Claus. "I never said anything about eating anyone. Not in one bite or two, or any bites! I told you that you could whack naughty children with your tail. Constructive lesson, not extinction."

"But, but but..." said Spinosaurus.

"No buts. The last time I checked the wisdom of Thesaurus there was nothing even remotely goodwill about eating children alive. I want you to promise me before we go any further tonight that you will not eat anyone alive."

"But my tail isn't cool and spiky its just...."

"I don't care! Its still the closest thing you have to a whipping rod, and ...."

"There are some dinosaurs that can live on Christmas trees, and dine on Pear trees 12 at a time and even tree shaped cookies," insisted Spinosaurus. "But there are some of us that need more sustenance than that...."

"I'm sorry," said Stegosaurus Claus with a hint of sympathy. "Its just that I can't trust a fellow plant eater with this task and I need a Krampus type to protect me these days. Have you seen the news lately? I mean, come on now. Be reasonable."

"I can't help it! It's my nature really..."

"Control yourself! If I catch you eating even one child alive this Christmas Eve you won't get any more presents for millions of years, maybe never ever again!"

"Aw gee..." said Spinosaurus. "I suppose I'll play along after all."


"Good, because there's a Christmas ham in it for you, if you make it to midnight without eating anyone. Tyrannosaurus Rex really wanted to go, but I knew you already had a reputation of manners by not eating anyone at Lexovissaurus' wedding, or that one year that Kentrosaurus invited you for Christmas dinner. I know you've got courtesy in you, so don't let me down, okay?"


"I'll try my best!" said Spinosaurus. "Peace on Earth to Mammals of Goodwill. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

"Earlier this month I stomped forthrightly to Washington, DC. I had been invited by Congresssaruus Triceratops to visit and attend a speech he was giving on December 5th," said Stegosaurus.

"You will be very interested in my speech," said Congresssaurus Triceratops. "If not, it will at least be very nice to see you. We plant eaters must stick together. There are so many bloodthirsty meat eating types in Congress which I must deal with so frequently it will be nice to spend time catching up with a fellow herbivore."

"I would be pleased to hear your speech," said Stegosaurus. "Thank you for inviting me."

"Very glad to do so, but look at that...." said Congresssaurus Triceratops, then suddenly dejected continued .... "Look there is no one else here. Not even other members of the Dinosaur Congressional Caucus."

"Well, it is the Holiday for mammals," said Stegosaurus. "Perhaps even some dinosaurs. I will still be glad to hear your speech."

"Thank you, Stegosaurus," said Congresssaurus Triceratops.


"I speak today," began Congresssaurus Triceratops, "On what manner you should act towards your fellows. Let me ask. Do you want to be treated fairly? Do you want your actions or intent to be viewed positively, and favorably? Then make it so! Bring about honorable intent by making it so in your actions. Lead the example, then all shall see, and speak upon you with favor. Deal fairly and honorably.
Be not of a positive manner to your friend's face, and then negative behind his back. In time the deceit will be discovered! A damaged reputation often cannot be recovered."

"That these negative traits cling and cloud over time we know, so that it may be a palpable stain in society. Make it not so! Just as much you may effect an aura of good will and be upon others a light and guidance. This choice is up to you. Lie not! Do not cheat! Do not manipulate! If you say you will do something, do it! If circumstances arise that prevent you from keeping your word, it is incumbent upon your honor to be up front and explain why you cannot as soon as possible. Beg amends, and it shall be given unto you."

"Leave not your fellows in darkness. If you cannot do this, and your fraud is discovered, you will lose all measure of respect. You will be lower in the sight of your fellows, and of all Nature. A tarnished reputation again, is not easily cleaned. Guard well a good reputation and live by it. This city certainly needs leaders and citizens of integrity. But not just this city. The entire Nation has lost its way and turned its back on decency. Verily, the entire world! Then mammal and dinosaur alike will well wonder, what went wrong can they not know they are part of the problem? You must only take what you can earn honestly. If you have gained illicitly, verily I say even if you think no one is harmed, all shall know in time for nothing can be hidden."

"The law of attraction shall bring to life ten fold that which you create and things will spiral from there forward. It is up to you which direction things will head by what you choose! Make it a spiral that expands love and trust and honor! Integrity! Peace! Fairness! Justice! We see what all this negative behavior hath wrought. It is a cancer of the mind! It is worse than a plague of insects! Worse than a flood! Worse than a meteor shower! Like attracts like and YOU are the creator and controller of your destiny. What will you be? Choose!"

"What matters your moral compass if you do not follow it? What day you break bread or fast from bread? What name you use while your neighbor uses another for the same ritual? To you! So I say, what matters then is the ideal that you hold. Find that common ground, that you present to the world. Live this ideal and set the example. Speak softly and listen much. Talk to find your common ground. For that which you think you create and then, you be! This is the wisdom I have gathered after 70 or so million years in being a part of this legislative body. I beg you to heed! In this time of Holiday season and always! Thank you."

Fisherman Finds Evidence of Early Americans

World's Oldest Fire Fossil Found

New Flying Reptile Found in "Unprecedented" Pterosaur Boneyard : 47 Skeletons Uncovered

Small Ancient Reptile Outlives Dinosaurs

Police, Lawyer Release Statements on Student's Alleged Dinosaur Killing

A Lost-and-Found Nomad Helps Solve the Mystery of a Swimming Dinosaur

Study: No Single Link Between Birds And Dinosaurs

I Shall Name Him Balrog

Another Meteor Linked To Another Extinction

Frank Asaro ( 1928 ~ 2014 ) Paleontologist Was On The Team That Originally Suggested It Was A Meteor Which Caused Dinosaur Extinction

Is That A Sauropod In Your Pocket, Or Are You Happy To See Me?

Another Relative For Congresssaurus Triceratops Discovered

Baby Stegosaurus Tracks Modeled In 3-D

Dinosaur Footprints Discovered In Alaska

Bizarre Dinosaur Had Four Wings, Long Tail Feathers

Hints That All Dinosaurs Had Feathers

In spite of the headline, the article makes clear at the end that it is "...a bit speculative to assume all dinosaurs had feathers."

"Today I took a stomp to California to visit my old friend Dimetrodon at the Dinosaur retirement home, just to see how he is getting along," said Stegosaurus.

"Hello, friend Stegosaurus!" said Dimetrodon.

"Well met, Dimetrodon! How have you been?"

"I am very well, Stegosaurus, very well in large part thanks to you!
I want you to know how much I appreciate all that you've done for me, getting me a pension with the Dinosaur and Mythical Creature Screen Actor's Guild local 14065, and a very nice cave at the Dinosaur retirement home."

"I'm always pleased to lend a helping claw," said Stegosaurus. "Very glad to do it."

"My friends Nyasassaurus and Moschops are here, I am well fed, my cave is cozy, I'm so happy."

"How do you spend your retirement?" asked Stegosaurus. "Do you play bingo? Do you stomp forthrightly on field trips?"

"We used to play bingo," rejoined Dimetrodon, "Unfortunately I think one cold day last winter we ate the mammal who calls out the numbers, and they don't let us play that anymore."

"Oh, my," said Stegosaurus.

"This past spring we all stomped down to Bradenton, Florida on a field trip," said Dimetrodon. "It was a very nice relaxing time mostly visiting with my friend and fellow synapsid Moschops. He lives here, but we just happened to catch up and spend a lot of time reminiscing about days gone by, running long, good natured poker games by the beach, stalking the locals for an afternoon snack, you know, the usual, not really much to write home about, but we had a good time."

"I'm so glad to see you well," said Stegosaurus.

"Enough about me," said Dimetrodon. "How are you doing?"

"I am well, and still pursuing my graduate studies as a Doctor with a specialty in tree disease." said Stegosaurus.

"I am sure you will succeed, you have determination." said Dimetrodon.

"Thank you kindly," said Stegosaurus. "Say hi to Moschops and Nyasassaurus for me. While I am in California I am going to stomp by and check in with my agent Argentinosaurus."

"Be well, friend," said Dimetrodon. "Thank you again for all your kindnesses to me. If there is any thing I can do to return the favor, please don't hesitate to let me know."

"Have you seen Wuerhosaurus, Sister Quagga?" asked Kentrosaurus.

"Why yes, he is getting ready to board his slow boat back to China. You had best hurry if you want to bid him fare well."

"I am glad I spoke to you about this; I indeed have an important message to share with him."

"Let us go together," suggested Quagga. "I want to say goodbye to him too. What is the message that you want to share?"

"Since you are coming along you are welcome to hear it," said Kentrosaurus. "Follow me."

"Hail, Wuerhosaurus!" said she, observing Wuerhosaurus on the shore.

"Sister Quagga! Kentrosaurus!" declared Wuerhosaurus. "How nice of you to come; you caught me just before I am to board my slow boat back home to China."

"I am so glad I made it in time I have a message I want to impart to you, and Quagga has come to hear it also," said Kentrosaurus.

"What would it be? A blessing for a safe seafaring journey? We Stegosaurids are not really seafaring animals and long for the days of a single continuous land mass to return," said Wuerhosaurus.

"Of course I wish you well, in the name of the Almighty and his Son Jesus Christ, but this wasn't my reason for stomping down to shore forthrightly. I wanted to ask you if you'd accept my testimony to the Lord of Lords and King of Kings, and if you realize, if you know, that everything in the Holy Bible is true and accurate; there is no God but One and his Son in the Holy Trinity including the Holy Spirit, Amen! And that, whatever difficulties God may place before you be most assured that The Lord your God loves you and wants no dissension with mammals or their science."

"Well, that is good," interjected Sister Quagga, suddenly realizing what she had gotten herself into and wondering how she could politely extricate herself from the conversation without offending Kentrosaurus.

"Amen!" said Kentrosaurus. "Amen, Sister Quagga, Amen!"
"Then, good cousin Wuerhosaurus, are you aware that the Lord Jesus Christ put my bones in the Earth to test my faith? Did you know he put your bones in the Earth to test your faith? By the grace of Jesus Christ alone I survived the little known WWII battle of Homboldt Museum, along with Sister Quagga and Spinosaurus."

"You have a good heart, cousin Kentrosaurus. I know you mean well, and that you care about me. I am from mainland China and a great majority of mammals and dinosaurs who live there are Buddhist."

"Peace be unto you," said Quagga helpfully.

"I know Kentrosaurus that you have gained a lot from your belief in Creationism, and you follow your path to the best of your ability. Each of us has our own road to stomp down, and for Sister Quagga to gallop down. I do not wish to disturb your inner peace. I am content on the road I travel as a Buddhist and glad that as cousins our paths intersect on occasion, I appreciate the hospitality of you, of Quagga and of Wooly Mammoth. I have had a nice vacation of several months now. but I must go home to China. Be assured that in my time here I have heard many an opportunity for your testimony and the sermons of Wooly Mammoth. I respect your opinion but I must go now."

"Wooly Mammoth has given you an honest job and changed your life," said Sister Quagga. "Ever since you embraced Creationism you have tried on all my saddles, which I do not mind. Yet we implore most politely to first of all, know that we are aware of your convictions and concern for us, yet we must find our own ways to the source of Creation."

"If you hear my testimony you will believe, " declared Kentrosaurus. "I shall tell you a tale of the Glory of the Holy Trinity, The Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit! For, as it is written in the book of Romans 8:1 & 8:2: "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who believe in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit in the life of Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death."

Verily I say onto you if you believe you will be saved. For else the Lord has allowed sin, except through faith in his Holy SON. This is such a true analogy to life of the flesh and of the scale. The Lord will test you he will put your bones in the earth, but as you believe so shall you be saved and free from the fire and damnation of sin."

Wuerhosaurus stepped into his slow boat. "Cousin Kentrosaurus, blessings be on you as you mean well, I shall consider your good intentions as well meant. Now I must follow my path back home to China."

"Indeed, I too, must take my leave of you Kentrosaurus, for the African plains need trimming, I think," said Sister Quagga.

"I would be pleased if you both would visit me someday in China," said Wuerhosaurus.

"Very well," said Kentrosaurus, still intent on his testimony. "I will pray for you both. Perhaps I can give a sermon to Nigersaurus. I can find him; he's a sauropod. They're never hard to find."

Aside to Wuerhosaurus Sister Quagga said as Kentrosaurus stomped out of hearing range, "Kentrosaurus means well, bless him, I hope Nigersaurus has the patience of Job."

"Indeed, Quagga," said Wuerhosaurus. "Indeed."

Bonjour, Je m’appelle Lexovissaurus!

"Ma jolie épouse Loricatosaurus est en vacances de ses études du collège d’Oxford et elle est retournée en France pour y passer l’été.
Nous avons décidé de sortir ensemble, parce que vous savez, que faire la cour vous garde jeune même si vous êtes à un âge plus vieux de 165 million d’années.

Loricatosaurus a choisi un endroit prêt d’ici, la merveilleuse Côte d’Azur, où le climat est constamment humide et subtropical, et ceci me rappelle quand je suis sorti de ma carapace.


Notre premier arrêt fut Monaco; nous n’avons pas visité Monte Carlo parce que nous sommes opposés au jeu d’argent, mais nous avons gouté à la bonne cuisine de ce pays qui est Italienne avec une influence Française. Nous avons premièrement commencé avec une Barbagiuan, une délicieuse hors d'œuvre. Nous avons aussi joui d’un repas de Fougasse, et un plat Italien du nom de Socca.

En partant de Monaco, nous avons piétinée romantiquement le long de la Promenade des Anglais à Nice, et nous étions dans une atmosphère romantique Italienne après avoir mangé notre Socca, donc nous avons assistés à une performance du Teuzzone, un opéra par Antonio Vivaldi à l’Opéra de Nice, la maison de l’opéra légendaire de ce pays.

Notre destination finale était Saint Tropez, où nous avons piétiné le long de la marina et nous avons regardé le tombé du soleil, jusqu’à la fin de la soirée.

Nous avons retournés en France le lendemain et j’ai accepté d’aller avec mon épouse pour une expédition non interrompu pour une recherche de ses oses. Elle est toujours intéressée dans ce sujet, que je trouve toujours perplexe et attachant. Nous n’avons pas trouvé rien de nouveau, mais mon épouse est toujours persistante. Si elle continue de chercher ses oses elle va se retrouver éventuellement; elle doit être à quelque part pas long d’ici. "

"I continued to have a nice visit in Australia during all of May," said Stegosaurus. "Platypus is a very generous and hospitable fellow. My old friend Thylacine even dropped by for tea one afternoon, always a jovial fellow amused at the idea that there are some mammals who haven't yet figured out he's extinct."

"I floated forthrightly on my raft back home to America in three weeks, after thanking Platypus profusely for his many kindnesses. I made it back in time to celebrate my 140 million and 8th birthday on June 1st with yet another cake. I noticed this year that the internet has declared me to be vintage! I sure hope 140 million and 8 qualifies as vintage! I'm very lucky to be stomping around at this age you know; but I feel in great health and so I am sure yet to have many more adventures! Come with me, let's have them together!"

"At the end of another semester of college, as I was bidding my classmates farewell for another summer, I began to reflect on this amazing life I am living," said Stegosaurus. "I know it does not seem like it, but soon I will be 140 million and 8! 140 million and 8! What a long time to be stomping around, you know?"

"I got to thinking, of all the mammals and other animals that have been around the last few million years... they're really nice and all, but I'm really starting to feel lonesome for somebody I can talk to, who I can relate to that isn't also ..... extinct. Today's animals are interesting in their own way, but I really don't know anyone today who is odd and prehistoric like."

"It took me a few days of thinking, 'Where can I find any kind of animal that is that suitably weird?' ... and then, it hit me. I knew: AUSTRALIA. Thus, I got on my raft and floated forthrightly first to eastern Australia, and then to Tasmania. Once there, within a short time, I met a nice fellow by the name of Platypus."

Platypus waddled up from the river to the shore in order to converse with Stegosaurus. He said, "G'day, friend Stegosaurus! What brings you all the way to Australia?"

"I got to reflecting," said Stegosaurus, "I thought as much as somebody who has a brain the size of a walnut can think, and concluded that I really hadn't talked to anyone who was odd and prehistoric like in a long, long time."

"Well, I am glad that you came to visit me," said Platypus, but you have yet some odd animals in America. What about the Horseshoe Crab? Or in the Indian Ocean, the Coelacanth? They're both older than you, I'd daresay, mate."

"True, true," conceded Stegosaurus. "But alas, they are seafaring animals to such an extent that they aren't around much for conversation."

"I see," said Platypus.

"While you yourself spend some time in water, you are also quite capable of living on land. Can't say that of Coelacanth, particularly. Are you suitably weird and prehistoric like? I hope so!" said Stegosaurus.

"It so happens that I pride myself on being quite odd," said Platypus. "Truth be told, my oddness seems quite normal to me. Perhaps other species of animals are weird and I'm normal."

" A very good point, Platypus," said Stegosaurus. "I suppose I really shouldn't point claws, being a Stegosaurus."

"No offense taken, friend Stegosaurus," said Platypus. "Let me tell you about my characteristics."

"Now when I do swim, I swim with my eyes closed, and use my bill to sense the location of other animals. It has electro - receptors which pick up the movements of those around me. This is a characteristic which is exclusive to me and my friend Echinda; we're a type of animal referred to as monotremes. If you'd like, I can introduce you to him. He's quite the pleasant chap. Another difference that monotremes have from other mammals is that My jaw structure and ear structure is different from other mammals as well."

"I usually dine on things like worms and shrimps. They are very delicious, I think, but I never dine underwater. I gather them in my cheeks, and then surface to eat my meal. My feet are webbed, like a duck's, but when I walk on land, I have a lizard's gait, not unlike you. I have some spurs on my back feet that contain a very strong venom. I don't kill large mammals with it, its just meant to hurt a lot. So don't upset me, otherwise you could be in a lot of pain for several months."

"I'll try not to," said Stegosaurus. "You give me the impression that you are quite mild mannered."

"Generally, I am, you just won't like me when I'm angry," said Platypus.

"Now us male Platypus have these venom spurs, but the females do not. Don't ask me why, they just didn't evolve that way. Our mating season is June through October, and the female is in charge of laying eggs and taking care of the young, which she cares for roughly four to six months. After two years, a Platypus is considered mature."

Then, Platypus paused for a moment and said, "Perhaps you remember my relatives from the Mesozoic, Steropodon, Kollikodon, and Teinolophos, We've been around for quite some time."

"The names sound familiar; I'm sure we've crossed paths at some point," observed Stegosaurus.

"Let me tell you something odd, I'm sorry to say that we Platypus don't care much for your native land America. We have a difficult time in captivity, and haven't really survived well outside of Australia. Nonetheless, there is a holiday started for us in America known as International Platypus Day. I don't have any clue as to why an American would do this, but let me tell you I'm quite flattered by it."

"I think we can agree that mammals are silly a lot of the time," said Stegosaurus. "We're going to get along quite well. You are perfectly odd and prehistoric like! I'm so glad to have made your acquaintance!"

Stegosaurus was so happy to meet an animal that was odd like him, that he decided to spend his summertime in Australia exploring and meeting new friends.

Wooly Mammoth Revival Update!

Eocasea: Dimetrodon's Relative

Bringing Extinct Plants Back To Life

Spiky Stegosaurus 'mated in missionary position to avoid male being castrated'

... and now, another word from everyone's favorite cheese - eating surrender dinosaur, Lexovissaurus!


Bonjour, je m’appelle Lexovissaurus!

"Plus tôt cette semaine durant ma visite aux Etats-Unis, je piétinais directement au Centre des Arts local pour entendre la première nouvelle œuvre par un talentueux mammifère qui s’appelle Steve Brown. Cette œuvre s’intitule la " Blue Ridge Rhapsodie"'.

"Je dois dire que je suis très impressionné; après avoir examiné ses efforts, très étonner, " Je peux dire avec certitude que ce mammifère a bâti admirablement sur la fondation de son œuvre précédente.
Cette rhapsodie, qui est à peu près de 8 minutes de long, commence avec les cuivres qui ont notre attention; qui nous rappelle le chant de séduction de l’Apatosaures. Les cordes d’ouvertures nous donnent un commencement plutôt bucolique. Je pense que c’est parfait pour manger un bon repas de Cyanophytes et fromage dans un pré au début de la matinée. Je me laisse emporter et je mange tout dans le pré. "

"En général c’est une pièce riche en mélodies réflectives, qui donne à n’importe quel dinosaure une donne raison de prendre son temps et de contempler les simples joies d’une existence qui a duré pendant des milliers d’années, comme les Montagnes du Blue Ridge, qui existe depuis aussi longtemps que moi. Les textures à multi couches qui nous rappelle d’un troupeau paisible de Stégosaurus jouissant de leur déjeuné au début de la matinée lorsque un troupeau d’Archæoptéryx est dans les ailes." (Durant le temps que les scientistes permettaient aux Archæoptéryx de voler)

"Une des plus poignante sections de cette œuvre était le solo euphonium qui a été écrit en mémoire d’un mammifère en particulier;
l’ami de Mr. Brown et Joseph Seth Williamson un collègue, qui est disparu malheureusement bien avant son temps. C’était un hommage très émotionnel et approprié"

Une séquence qui me rappelle du temps où mon cousin Stégosaurus avait eu un insecte empoisonnant sous ses écailles pendant que nous jardinions. Je sais combien que mon cousin Américan aimait danser; alors ceci devrait encourager un tel effort enthousiaste."

"J’applaudis une autre fois la compétence et le génie de Mr. Brown, mais je dois le faire sans enlever mon chapeau, parce que je suis un Stégosaurus, et les Stégosaurus ne porte pas de chapeaux."

Lexovissuarus was proud to have his programme autographed by the composer!

"This semester in college I'm taking an elective course in Science," said Stegosaurus.

"Mammals may be surprised to discover that I have a great interest in Science; don't let my walnut - sized brain fool you ... I can be pretty sharp, some of the time. Maybe not as sharp as Einstein or Hawking, sometimes not even as sharp as my cool, spiky tail... but nonetheless I'm really fascinated by Science and the Natural World."

"Now maybe Carl Sagan can finally explain to me how I can get sunshine from a cucumber ...."

"It was a bright sunny day last week when I had a nice discussion with sister Quagga," said Wuerhosaurus. "I've been enjoying an extended vacation in South Africa since arriving for the funeral of Western Black Rhino in November and it occurred to me last week that Chinese New Year was nearly upon us. Being Chinese, this is a big deal for me you know."

"Glad tidings, sister Quagga," said I. Do you know what tomorrow is? Why, tomorrow is Chinese New Year! This is truly one of the largest holidays in my culture."

"Yes, it is," observed Quagga. "You should be proud."

"I am; and I am so appreciative of your hospitality as I enjoy my extended vacation here in South Africa, though I am sorry for the reason which initially brought me here. I hope Western Black Rhino is adjusting well."

"Oh he is," said Quagga. "He appears to be at least. Wooly Mammoth and Kentrosaurus have gone to minister to him."

"Now returning to the topic of the New Year," said Wuerhosaurus. "I am so glad I brought some fireworks with me in my slow boat when I arrived from China. Fireworks are a great tradition in my native land. In this, China's greatest holiday we also wear red clothing -- or in my case my scales are a beautiful crimson. I shall write poems! Will you help me write poems, Quagga? Please?"

"Why, yes, I would be delighted," said Quagga. "I am honored that you asked."

"We will drive away evil and bad luck with crimson, the symbol of fire! Have you a local bamboo grove? Let us stomp forthrightly hither and gather some for the celebration!"

"Yes, I will go with you, Wuerhosaurus," said Quagga. "I am glad to help. You know how festive I am."

"What joy!" enthused Wuerhosaurus. "What fun we shall have when in two days it is the Year of the Stegosaurus!"

"Um, ... " said Quagga.

"Why yes!" exclaimed the overjoyed plate lizard, oblivious to the pause of his interlocutoress. "Stegosaurids are by nature so joyful and funloving. You know how we love to dance, and China has a long history of many varied dances."

"Um, ....." said Quagga.

"We will dance the Dragon Dance, display our scales and our spiff, sexy plates, we'll have a ballet theatre and dance the Sword Dance....."

"Um, ......" said Quagga.

"Let us hold a lantern festival! A grand festival of lights! Let us reunite with our relatives and rejoice in the name of our ancestors! It shall be SO grand! Delightfully grand!"

"Um, ......" said Quagga.

"Yes?" said Wuerhosaurus finally.

"You know, Wuerhosaurus, not to burst your bubble, but it will soon be the year of the HORSE."

"So!" exclaimed Wuerhosaurus without any change in mood. "Whack me with my own cool, spiky tail, but you are right! It is more your year than mine! But, we do have no less than 8 points of similarity, good sister Quagga which is so many ..... I'm so smart I can almost count all the way to 8! Let us celebrate together in any case with love and joy! What a wonderful year it will be!"

"Indeed it will, good friend Wuerhosaurus. Indeed it will," said Quagga.

"The Stegosaurus Construction Company has come to sunny California in order to work on my latest project: an apartment complex for mammals called Stegosaurus Commons! I'm starting the new year by embarking upon a new venture: property management!" said Stegosaurus.

"Stomping here and there over the past few years I've determined that there is a great need to build quality housing for mammals run by competent and efficient property managers. Haven't you always wanted your landlord to be a Stegosaurus??"
"We'll be opening two complexes to start, one in Santa Monica, and the other in Sunnyvale. On a large tract of land extending over twenty - four acres we have built roads into and out of the community."

"We are opening in March, 2014, and are to be located at the corner of Stegosaurus Circle and Pangaea Place in Sunnyvale and in Santa Monica at the intersection of Dinosaur Drive and Mesozoic Lane. Stegosaurus Commons is conveniently located only a short stomp from popular shopping, nightspots and other conveniences! Each apartment is 930 sq. ft, kitchen & dining area, 1 bedroom, full bath with washer and drier hookup."

"If you are a seafaring mammal we will have pool access in the summer, the full gym will have a whirlpool and sauna. Also there will be a thriving garden community you can join, which will encourage you and your neighbors to grow and eat your own trees. If you happen to be a carnivore, you can grow trees for the express purpose of paying your rent, since as with my School of Dance, Stegosaurus accepts payment in trees. Perhaps you'd like to assist me in my quest to extract sunlight from cucumbers?? If you do, and have any success let me know."

"Stegosaurus is mild mannered and courteous in his dealings with tenants. Should maintenance be required at any time, the Stegosaurus Construction company will always be at hand to answer any concern, and to attend any problems that arise efficiently.
Our workers will never enter the apartment complexes unannounced or at unreasonable hours. We will strive to be as unobtrusive as possible; using common courtesy we will be sure never to enter while you are indisposed and will work with you to be as reasonable with any repairs that need to be made."

"Stegosaurus Commons serves the entire mammal community and follows EHO guidelines, but carnivores are politely asked not to eat the other tenants."

Email Stegosaurus for more information at Stegosaurusmail AT gmail DOT com.